When Esther died, her brother Elya was about twenty five years old. Since her wedding he had met her only once. It was in their mother’s funeral: She had died, while Esther was pregnant.. . But now Elya had a feeling of deep remorse, for not knowing ‘what had been Esther’s problems, and what has led her to end her young life,’ as he said to himself.
Elya was aware that he had been Esther’s closest mature relative, except her husband. Last year he was very busy in the Party’s organization in Minsk. Bothering with family matters was far from his mind. Now he was feeling the stinging-sticking of cold sweat, an outcome of excitement and irritation. In his mind he condemned his ex-friend for his sister’s death, though he had no evidence for that. ‘But surely it had been connected,’ he told himself, ‘with Esther’s unhappiness from her marriage. I warned her against my past friend. .. Woe to my pure and innocent sister. She was suffering from Aaron’s mental imbalance: Perhaps she was cooking on Sabbath evening in a later hour than the ‘Rabbinical schedule’. Maybe she had once forgotten to pray, being busy with her child. He might have shouted on her about tiny matters like these, and make her nervous and angry. She would restrain herself, and hide her anger- deep in her heart, I’ve known her good character since childhood. I heard she had born a son or a daughter, but I’ve never wanted to see them. I had avoided visiting the extreme-fanatic Aaron Hittin. He would always find a sin or a misconduct in anyone. . .I guess that my sister, had hard debates in their small hut. Now it’s all over, finished.. .’
Elya was dressed in a blue shirt, brown jacket and grey trousers, and wore his new capshaded hat. He went to Aaron parents’ old hut, that he remebered well. On his way to the funeral he was escorted by a man who had brought him the disastrous message of Esther’s death. He was a friend of him and of Aron from younghood, and his name was Elimelekh Borisov. Elya heard from him that the drawning happened by accident, as Esther had gone to swim – far away from her women friends. But he – Elya- had not believed it.. .
The two men were already standing at Aaron’s courtyard gate.
They were looking at about twenty people, who were sitting on benches or just standing thereby and talking in low voices. Now many were looking at the comers, who have just opened the gate and entered. While approaching the crowd, they were lucky not to hear the following discussion:
“Rabbi believes he is punished,” said one of the gathering crowd, “because the Jewish people have exchanged God for Communism.” The speaker was wagoner Bearl, who not long ago had been the synagogue beadle. Lately he left that job, because of the Chief Rabbi could not find a budget to pay him.
“I heard that Esther was blaming herself,” told him a forty years old woman, who was one of Esther’s neighbors, “for using a bad medicine during pregnancy. That pill may had caused the baby’s disaster... Before her marriage- she had been a nurse in hospital, you know.”
The people present in the courtyard became silent, while gazing at Elya, who began talking with that neighbor woman. She had grey-watery eyes, wearing a grey dress and a grey kerchief on her head.
“Excuse me if I ask,” said Elya, “Is Aaron there alone?” he pointed on the entry door, “I am Esther’s brother.”
“I Know who you are. Aaron is inside - with the child, and . . .”
Wagoner Bearl, the ex-beadle, was coming close to them, and said:
“Better not to enter now. Rabbi is in distress. Please take a seat, comrades,” He turned to both comers, and pointed on two empty chairs, “There is enough place there.”
“No,” said Elya, and approached the hut’s front door. Elimelekh Borisov rushed after him as he opened it. A Jewish capped man, standing thereby like a watchman- wanted to hold Elya, but he pushed him away and walked into the corridor. Standing inside, near the entry door, he saw a room on the left. In its center was standing a high table, on which the corpse had been already wrapped with a
Jewish Talith-prayer shawl. Rabbi was sitting on a bench at the wall. He looked backward and saw Elya. His forehead became red, and his fists ready for blows. He rose from his seat, while the Jew who was seated next to him still continued reading-mumbling from a prayer book of mourns.
Aaron approached Elya and shouted, trying to push him back:
“Away from my house! Atheist, God’s enemy! Out!”
“You can’t prevent me... “ said Elya and pushed him away. Borisov came to his help, and stepping behind Aaron he embraced his hands tightly, telling him emphatically:
“Rabbi Aaron, sit down, please.”
“You should be ashamed!” shouted Aaron at Elya, “You don’t believe in God, and you would mock at this religious funeral and ceremony. You don’t have anything in common with us.”
“Don’t talk like that,” said Elya angrily.
“Your soul is empty,” said Aaron, in a sudden quiet voice, “and your heart is hollow. You are a foreigner - and idols worshipper. Away!”
There was a closed curtain leading from the corridor to the kitchen.
That curtain was suddenly opened by the neigbor woman Blooma, who was holding a small towel in her hand. She gave it to two women standing thereby- who had just accomplished to wash and purify the corpse. As they wiped their hands and went away, she suddenly pushed the baby’s wagon from the kitchen into the corridor. Now the maimed baby appeared to his uncle’s eyes. Raphael was seated, and Blooma was leading his wagon straight ahead, in-between the quarrelling men, trying to “separate” the enemies.
“Dear Men! Put an end to this debate!” said Blooma, and Borisov released his his hands from grabbing Aaron. Elya was bending to look at the baby more closely. He suddenly discerned his deformity, that made him shocked and terrified. His eyes became rolled, his lips quivered and his throat was choked. Soon he shouted hoarsly at Rabbi Aaron, pointing on the baby:
“Why had you never told me about that, why?
The kid stared at Elya, as well as his father had done.
“You, liar!” shouted Aaron, “You had been Esther’s brother. Had you ever come to see us, or even her alone? Now you discover my situation?”
“You all know how busy I was,” Elya spoke to the few people surrounding him, not only to Aaron, ”I was taking part in the revolution, and I’m proud of it...Poor Esth...” He was baffled by tears. Rabbi Aaron indicated Blooma to leave the room. She seized the wagon, with the baby in it - pushing it back to the kitchen.
Aaron turned back to Elya, trying to hold him again by the arm and push him outdoors. Elya disconnected from him, but at that moment three men opened the front door. They were curious of the shouts, and immediately stood beside Rabbi Aaron.
“Friends, help me to throw him out.” told them Aaron, pointing on Elya, who gazed at his friend Borisov, nodded to him – and both were leaving. Rabbi Aaron gave a sigh of relief.
Outside the hut – Elya pulled out a handkercief and wiped his wet eyes. His silent weep was still heard by his escort, Borisov.
Elya stayed for a minute before the mourning crowd, thinking what will be his next step. He immediately returned to the front door, pushed it strongly, re-entered the corridor, and from there decisively rushed to the dead body of his sister, before Rabbi Aaron could prevent that to happen. Elya removd the clean white Talith cloth edge, that had covered Esther’s head. He bent to her, and saw her pretty face and hair given in a slight cover of cotton wool. He touched the cold skin of her cheek by his right palm, and told himself: “now she is calm”. Tears were choking his throat again.
Then he rushed out from the room, while Rabbi Aaron pretended to be busy in his prayers book, and so his friends.
Borisov was running outside after Elya, who told him:
“I can’t take part in the funeral, and it doesn’t matter. I have important meetings in the evening, and I should prepare myself.”
“I will escort you home,” said Borisov.
“No, you’ll join the followers of my si
ster to her last way,” said Elya. “Rabbi Aaron had resented me,” he remarked as to himself, “mainly because he had never told me about the cut hands boy. Poor creature, how will Aaron he able to raise him? He won’t be a normal human being, but at least . . .Oh, I am shocked, why Esther had not told me about all that? He ordered her to be silent, blaming me to be – his own enemy, as I’m God’s enemy ! . . . Enough with that.”
Borisove held Elya by his elbow and told him to strengthen himself.
After the funeral Rabbi Aaron was eating bread-and-eggs ‘mourning meal’ with two of his friends, who brought the food. He told them he was very tired. They left him soon – feeling that he would like to stay alone. Lying in bed, he was weeping again and praying:
“Oh merciful God. I have sinned to Esther. I did not back her; she has struggled alone- nursing and supporting our disabled baby.”
His weep became stronger, having seen that the baby was looking at him from the wagon, in which he was seated. Their good neighbor Blooma, who was still staying with him, begged his father:
“Please, Rabbi. You have to rest, and sleep for a while. I will take the boy to my hut, and bring him back tomorrow.”
Aaron waved his hand and nodded, and she went out with the kid.
“Who knows if the boy had undersood something about our situation,” said Aaron to himself, “God, I am damned. It seems like I am cursed by you. Instead of bringing help to Esther, of trying to raise her spirit - I was stuck to my holy books. . . I should have understood her bad mood, her very silent bitterness. I should have stayed more time with her at home. What damned kind of man I am? I have sinned to her and to you, Oh God.”
He was weeping and meditating: ‘perhaps the invalid boy had been confused from the tumult around. But he had no ability to tell his feeling. He had waited for his mother, surely aware of her disappearance. As every kid - he could not but weep, and his tears had torn down my heart .
The boy has just learned to call ‘mama’ last week. He will forget Esther very soon, and begin to relate to Blooma as his ‘mama’. From now on- she volunteered to take care of him three or four hours a day – at least in the coming few weeks.’
In Rabbi Aaron’s mind there were flashing memories of amazing and pure hours that he had with Esther. He was reflecting in an unorganized manner. Sections of events and echoes of talks
came to his mind.
‘Now, that she has gone to ‘the world that its entirety is Goodness,’ I recall how she had known to attract my interest in her problems –which were mine too - still in her mother’s home. She was talking bitterly about Elya’s betrayal by his growing Atheism... After our marriage- I had a dream that she would be with me like Beruria from the Talmud, that had been the wife of Wise Man Hanina. Beruriah had known by heart volumes of the holy sacriptures, and interferred in this Rabbis’ controversies. But no. . .
Esther had suffered from my illusion, that she would be strong enough; so she agreed to my devotion to the religion learnings…She was saying that Elya – her brother- would repent and return to God. She had mentioned the Talmudic legend about the two brothers –in-law: Rabbi Yohanan the righteous man, and the robber Reish Lakish. She imagined me to be that solemn and wise Rabbi, who had married a sister of robber having a gang - who was hated by everyone in Tiberias. But one day this criminal repented to God: He became the Famous Rabbi Simon Reish Lakish. She hoped that so will happen with her brother’s, and he will return to God and become a Rabbi. Now she won’t return from God. Oh, Good father for all, take Esther under your condoling wings . . .’
CHAPTER 6