All this time, Travis had accused her of stealing his mother's ring, yet in the end, he had asked her to marry him. Surely he no longer believed she could have taken his mother's jewelry.
But early this morning, they hadn't discussed the ring, but instead lay there enjoying one another. Not really talking, but expressing with their bodies what their hearts had not said.
So if she hadn't taken Eugenia's wedding band, then who had? Or could she have lost the ring? Rose thought about searching the house, but if she found the ring, wouldn't it seem convenient and a little suspicious that she had located the ring after Travis had asked her to marry him?
She felt so anxious, so nervous. The urge to write Travis a note overcame her, and she hurried into the office to search for a blank sheet of paper.
Rose stopped at Travis's desk. She shuffled through some papers, searching for a blank sheet, when suddenly a bundled group of papers came loose in her hands. She glanced at the name on the page and gasped.
Written across the top it said: A Report on Rose Severin, by Henry Gates, Pinkerton Agent.
For a moment she simply stared at the papers in her hand before she sank down into the chair behind Travis's desk. He'd had her investigated! He'd had someone search into her past and find every dirty little detail he could uncover.
She took a deep breath and flipped the page and began reading about her life. The investigator had really done his work. She read about her mother and father's marriage, her mother's death, and then the life she had lived with her father as a child. How they had traveled from town to town, moving on when the sheriff started pressuring her father to clean up his act.
How three years ago, when she was eighteen, her father had abandoned her and Isaiah for his new wife, leaving her to find some means of support. What the report didn't say was how she had been forced to put together her own con, the séance, and eventually travel to Fort Worth.
But the last paragraph of the three-page report was the one that startled her the most. She gasped as she read the lines. George Severin died of heart failure three months after his marriage to the new Mrs. Severin.
Her father was dead. Had been dead the last three years, while she traveled the Southwest trying to earn enough money to get to New York. She sat staring out the window of Travis's study, stunned at the news that her father was dead. Knowing she was being illogical, but angry just the same that Travis hadn't told her. Yes, she'd told him her father was dead, but she hadn't known the lie she told was really the truth.
When was Travis going to tell her he had her investigated? Or would he ever have told her?
A lone tear trickled down her face as she thought about her father and how he had always been searching for that one deal that was going to make him a wealthy man.
She glanced down at the three handwritten pages and felt the slow burn of anger infuse her body. So, Travis had not trusted or believed her, but had paid some man to dig into her past and find out everything he could, before he'd asked her to marry him.
Come to think of it, what had Travis brought to this union other than asking her to marry him? Last night, all he'd mentioned was that they should get married. And she'd jumped at the opportunity to spend her days with the man she desired.
Had he ever said the word love? Or vowed that he cared?
Nothing. Travis had brought nothing of emotional value. He had merely asked her to marry him.
Even in the throes of passion, he'd never made any declarations of love or caring. But why would he marry her, if he didn't love her? Was the wedding just another ruse to get her to stay?
She put her head in her hands as tears trickled slowly down her face. Travis Burnett was a man who would never gush romantic poetry or recite love sonnets. He lived by the rules, was honest to a fault, and expected everyone around him to live by the law. He was virtuous, trustworthy—and unable or unwilling to express his feelings for the people he cared about.
So why had he chosen now to ask her to marry him, when he knew she was planning to leave?
Could it all be a ploy just to get her to stay, until he found his mother's ring? Had he really had no intention to marry her, but had known the right words to say to get her to stay?
Better still, how could she marry a man who had never spoken endearments to her, told her he loved her, or even said he cared about her?
A tear rolled down her cheek and landed on the report. No matter how she tried to leave behind the life she had come from, it always managed to find her. She would never be good enough to marry Travis.
Slowly she climbed the stairs, carrying the report in her hands. There was one final act to this performance, before the curtain came crashing down.
***
Travis walked in the front door and noticed Rose's valise sitting beside the door. The wagon was waiting outside, hitched and ready to go, loaded with what appeared to be Rose's trunk.
He glanced at the suitcase and then up the stairs as Rose slowly made her way down. Her face was drawn, and her eyes held an odd light in them that somehow sent a chill down his spine.
"Where are you going?" he asked, his gaze shifting to the suitcase.
Her slipper touched the floor, and she moved past him into the parlor, not even saying hello. He automatically followed her. Something was wrong.
She turned on him, her eyes fairly smoldering. It was then he saw the envelope she held in her hand, and he inwardly groaned.
"I went searching for paper in your office to make-out a list of things we'd need for the wedding, when I happened upon this...this paper with my name on it"
"Rose, I—"
She tilted her head, shaking it in disbelief. "You had me investigated? How could you?"
Travis walked toward her, but she backed away.
"You were cheating my mother. I had to find out everything I could about you," he said empathetically.
She moved in closer, almost touching him, but her body was rigid with anger. "I've never cheated your mother. All you had to do was ask, and I would have told you anything you wanted to know."
"I didn't trust you. I wouldn't have believed you."
"Do you now?" she questioned. "Do you trust and believe in me? Do you believe I stole your mother's ring?"
She watched his face become a grimace that saddened her. "I don't know. Who else could it be?"
She all but staggered from the impact of his words. He could see the devastation on her face, and his heart ached.
"I ordered the investigation to find out about you months ago, when I brought you back. It's really all right. I found out you weren't who I thought you were."
"That's all right?" She stared at him incredulously.
Travis shifted, suddenly uneasy.
"I'm not who you thought I was, so now you're going to marry me? But you still believe I might have stolen your mother's ring!"
"No, I just—"
She interrupted him. "You didn't ask me to marry you until after you received the report," she said in stunned disbelief.
He ran his hand through his hair nervously, trying to collect his rattled thoughts.
"Well... I didn't see a need until the other night," he said, regretting the words the moment they left his mouth. What was wrong with him? He was sounding like a complete fool. "I'm trying to protect you. You could be with child right now. It's my duty to marry you. I should marry you."
"Curse you and your duty! Curse you and your respectability!" She stepped up to him, pointing her finger into his chest. "When I marry, I want a man who loves me, not his honor."
She stepped away from him, her arms tightly folded across her chest, and she walked to the window and gazed out at the ranch. Her voice became low, almost sorrowful. "Come to think of it, Travis, I can't remember a time when you've ever told me you loved me. Or cared for me. But you've certainly been able to tell me how displeasing I am."
He stood there, unable to say anything, his heart aching. She looked so forlorn, so sad, but he couldn't
utter the words she wanted to hear. They were stuck in his throat. Couldn't she see he was offering her his world, just not the words that went with the gesture?
There was total silence while she waited. But the words refused to come, and no matter what, he couldn't say them. He cared for her, but certainly nothing he could call love, and he wouldn't lie to her.
She bit her lip and then let out a heavy sigh. "Well, I guess that pretty much lets me know how you feel."
Rose looked up and met his gaze. "You know, I always thought I should hate you when you first brought me here, but even then I was drawn to you. I didn't want to be, but I was, and I fell in love with the good, honest man you are, knowing who you thought I was. I always hoped you would come to love me for who I am. I may not be the perfect lady, but I think I'm a lot better."
She picked up her valise. "My papa always said I was a dreamer, and I guess I am. Obviously your offer of marriage was one last gesture to get the ring back. But I still don't have it."
"No. I wanted to marry you so you wouldn't go."
Rose smiled bleakly. "If you don't love me or trust me, we could never be married. I have to go."
"I ... I want to do the right thing. I'm trying to protect you from the consequences of our passion."
She turned back to the window and sniffed. Her hand reached up and wiped a tear away.
"I don't want your chivalry. I want your love," she said angrily. "Tonight is the last performance. Tomorrow I'm catching the stage out of town."
"But—"
"I guess it's a good thing we never told Eugenia about the engagement. No one has to know of your act of chivalry."
He ran his fingers through his hair, a tight knot of apprehension seemed to ball itself up in his gut, twisting until he wanted to cry out in pain.
"I'm asking you to stay. To be my wife. You won't have to work. I'll keep you safe. You'll be respected."
She whirled around, her face a tight grimace of hurt. "Respected by everyone but my husband." She grabbed her valise and yanked open the door, then stopped and turned to face him. "Damn you and your respectability! I want love. I want a husband who can tell me how much he loves me—not that he did the honorable thing in marrying me because he had sex with me."
She slammed the door as she hurried out the door to the waiting wagon.
***
Rose handed the stagecoach driver her ticket and glanced around the street one last time before she stepped up into the stage. She'd held out hope until now that Travis would come after her, but he didn't love her, and he wasn't going to try to stop her from leaving.
Rose waved to Isaiah as he mounted his horse. He would follow behind the stagecoach all the way to Waco, where the next performance was scheduled to take place.
But there was no sight of Travis on the street this Sunday morning. No sign of Tucker or Eugenia. There was no one but Isaiah, and Rose couldn't help but think they were back where they started. Back traveling, trying to make a living. But who would have thought that their lives would change so drastically in one cattle town?
All night she'd dreamed Travis would come running down the street at the last moment, certain that he couldn't live without her, knowing they were destined to be together. But the street was strangely quiet this Sunday morning. Only the sound of an occasional carriage making its way to church or the clop of a horse and rider making their way to some unknown destination could be heard.
How did you make your heart quit loving someone, when they didn't return your affection? How did you ride out of town and leave your heart behind?
A tear trickled down her cheek, and she quickly wiped it away, trying to keep the flood of tears at bay.
Under the circumstances, leaving was for the best. She still had her acting career, her dreams of becoming an actress. But the dreams seemed to die on barren ground within her heart. What once had seemed exciting no longer appeared so intriguing.
The stagecoach jerked as the horses pulled away. Rose glanced out the window and watched the city roll by and knew she could never return to Fort Worth. Too many things had happened here. This was where she had lost her heart to a muscular cowboy who couldn't say the word love. For all of his goodness, he couldn't get over the fact that she had been earning a living the best way she knew how, and somehow Rose knew he still believed she had taken the wedding ring.
At the edge of town, she pulled down the curtain blocking the landscape, leaned her head back, and tried her best not to cry. Travis didn't love her, so it was best she forget him.
Chapter Nineteen
Two days later, Travis felt saddle-sore and weary. He'd been riding aimlessly since he'd left the house late yesterday afternoon, trying to make sense out of the last few days. Trying to reconcile what had happened between him and Rose.
How could she have fallen in love with him, when he'd had her thrown in jail, and when she got out he'd done everything but run her out of town? Only then to discover his mother's missing ring and go racing across country to kidnap her from the road- house. He'd forced her on the back of a horse, accused her of tricking his mother, swindling his men, of setting fire to his barn, of lying and cheating, not to mention being a loose woman.
And somehow she'd fallen in love with him anyway. No one had ever loved him for himself, only for the ranch or his money.
God, he'd missed her these last few days. Missed her laughter, the way she brightened up his day. Regardless of what had happened between them, she made him see life from a different perspective. She always found something to smile about; she'd always brought joy into his world.
Though often she'd pointed out his faults, she'd still fallen in love with him, while he had only criticized, complained, and threatened her. Why had he been unable to see the goodness in Rose? Why had he been so hard on her?
From the very beginning, he'd thought he knew who she was, only to discover he was a fool. He hadn't known her at all. At least not the way he thought he knew her.
Yet he'd known she was running a séance parlor; he'd known she was a con artist. But still he'd been attracted to her, and that bothered him. How could a man who valued honesty and truthfulness be drawn to a woman who told lies for a living?
The day he stepped into her séance parlor, Travis knew there was something special about her. But it wasn't until he carried her out of the roadhouse that he'd realized just how much he wanted her physically. And now all he knew was that he felt as though a ray of sunshine had disappeared from his life. He was lonelier than he'd ever been and felt as if half of his soul had gotten on that stage Sunday and ridden out of town.
She claimed to love him, but why? What was there about him to love? What had she seen in him that made her offer her heart so willingly? Until recently she had defied him at every turn, had challenged, opposed, and resisted him, all the while claiming she was innocent of his charges.
No woman had ever stood up to him and bullied him the way Rose had. No one had ever made him think about his actions quite the way she had. Somehow Rose had made a better man of him, and he had let her walk away.
A pain so deep and overwhelming left him gasping. His own stubborn pride had kept him from seeing that she made him whole. She had laughed and cajoled her way into his heart, and in the end he had stubbornly refused to give her the love she so desperately needed.
All he'd thought about was his damn sense of honor and duty, which wouldn't keep him warm at night. No, Rose would never be the lady he had dreamed of marrying, but then she was so much more than a dressed-up woman with an empty head. She was full of life, she was good, she was decent, and he wanted them to have babies and grow old together.
God, he loved her. He had stubbornly refused to say the words she so longed to hear, but he did love her.
Travis was a fool. The biggest fool of all for letting her get away. He had loved her for longer than he could admit, longer than he could remember. He trusted her and he wanted her for his wife.
He had to go find her, a
pologize to her and ask her to forgive him. Tell her that he loved her. And then, if she would have him, he was going to get down on his knees and ask her again to marry him. Ask her to be his wife for the rest of their natural days. Tell her he was willing to follow her and her dream of acting, if that was what it took. As long as she would be his wife, his helpmate, and his lover, he would give her his heart and then some.
He glanced up and noticed his surroundings for the first time. He'd let his horse amble any direction he wanted, and now he was on the outer boundaries of the ranch, so far away that there was a line shack in the distance for shelter.
He kicked his horse into a gallop. He had to get to Waco and find Rose before she disappeared out of his life forever.
***
Travis opened the door and hurried into the house, eager to grab a few things and be on his way. The place had felt like a mausoleum since Rose had left and Eugenia had gone visiting a neighboring ranch. Everywhere he turned, he had mental images of Rose laughing and smiling. Walking through the rooms, he could almost swear he'd smelled her perfume. But he knew better. She was gone, out of his life for good unless he could find her.
"Is that you, Travis?" his mother called from the back of the house.
"Yes," he replied, eager to be on his way.
Eugenia stepped into the entryway and glanced around. "Where's Rose? I thought she was with you."
Travis set his gear down. When Eugenia left, Rose had been deliriously happy; now she was gone and he was going after her, to confess his love and beg her forgiveness. He would have to tell his mother what had happened while she was away.
"I can give you five minutes, and then I've got to be on my way," he said, turning toward the parlor.
Her forehead wrinkled in a frown, but she didn't say anything, only followed him into the parlor, where Eugenia took a seat on the loveseat. Travis began to pace the floor.
"What's wrong, son? You seem upset. Has something happened to Rose?" Eugenia questioned.
Clenching his hands, he turned and faced her, dreading giving her the news. "Rose has left for good, and I'm about to follow her."
He waited for her to absorb the information and watched as she looked at him, surprised.