Read The Range Trip Page 4

anything in your book of spells for Lutherans?”

  “I gotta little something for everybody.” The witchdoctor smiled.

  Meril walked into the room and crouched down in the corner against the wall.

  “I’m not trying to be offensive but I’d really like to see a regular medical doctor – the kind that go to school with their daddy’s money for an eternity and after they graduate spend more time golfing than gutting. To be honest with you, I’m horrified right now.”

  “It’s impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror… Horror has a face… and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared.”

  The witchdoctor looked to the woman. “Grab his arm for me.”

  She grabbed my petite wrist, nearly crushing the bones with her talon-like hands and held it for the witchdoctor.

  “Would it change anything if I told you that I had no insurance?”

  “Afraid not.” The witchdoctor reached around his back and pulled a bowie knife from a sheath that was attached to his belt. Even though it was obvious by the knife’s condition that the witchdoctor had little respect for the perils of bacteria it still glistened menacingly in the flickering light. The witchdoctor smiled and snatched my delicate ring finger and sliced it so that blood dripped freely. “Relax. Everything is going to be fine.”

  “I just want to get out of this horrible place and go to a hospital.”

  “Horrible place.” The woman shook her head.

  “I’m badly hurt I just want to get home,” I clarified. This was not a time to be rude.

  “Just click your heels together three times.” The witchdoctor laughed.

  “Can you please just not touch me again,” I begged, clasping my injured hand and guarding it the way one might hold raw meat away from a starving wolf.

  “You’re not going to loaf on my dear friend’s couch for the rest of your life,” he smiled. “We do this now!” the witchdoctor screamed at the heavens as he raised his hands. Then I heard myself scream too.

  The wind began to switch - the house, to pitch. And suddenly the hinges started to unhitch. Just then the Witch - to satisfy an itch -.went flying on her broomstick, thumbing for a hitch!

  Before I could argue any further, the witchdoctor started dancing around me. I heard animals in the forest crying out. The witchdoctor shook the Bible and pointed it at the ground, then me, then the ground, then me. He drew circles on my abdomen with a piece of moose horn which he produced from the inside of his jacket. An owl flew up to the torn screen and banged against it frantically. I swore that I heard my mother’s voice coming from the creature.

  Light began to fill the witchdoctor’s eyes and then lit the tips of his fingers. He reached down and pressed the light into my chest and I was instantly filled with heat. I could feel my back healing and my vision began clearing. I heard the owl tell me to run and it flew from the screen and back to the woods. Now able to stand, my heart beating uncontrollably, I took the owl’s advice, leapt to my feet and ran for the door. Meril ran out the door behind me.

  I was nearly to my car when I looked back over my shoulder and saw Meril standing outside the house. Realizing I might not have enough time to still get away, I knew I couldn’t leave him behind in this land of the damned. I ran back for him. As fast as I could, I scooped him up, turned, and again ran for the Toyota, grateful to realize that my keys were still in my pocket. I frantically shoved Meril into the car before jumping in after him, cranked the ignition, the engine roaring to life, and exploded out on to the dirt road, spraying rocks and dust as the witchdoctor, the woman, and her other son came out after us.

  “Going so soon? I wouldn’t hear of it. Why my little party’s just beginning!”

  Weaker now, but the voice was still fighting to stay inside my head, like a hornet that had gotten trapped in my ear and was violently making it known that it wasn’t leaving without a fight. We thundered down the road recklessly.

  - - -

  The woman pulled her son close and looked to her brother-in-law.

  “Where’s Meril?” She searched the yard. “He took Meril.”

  “No? Are you serious? He stole your cat?”

  “I think so. He scared me so bad when he suddenly hopped up from the couch that I didn’t see him grab him.”

  “Mom, we gotta go after that guy. He’s got Meril.”

  “Tyler, honey, we were going to give Meril away anyhow. All he does is eats and poops.”

  “You took the guy in to help him out and he stole your cat? That’s almost funny.”

  “He had been babbling really weird stuff from the time we found him lying on the grass next to his truck. He was just lying there, right in front of the house. We had to bring him in. I’m glad you finally came by.”

  “You’d never seen him before?”

  “No.”

  “You sure he wasn’t a friend of Ronnie’s?”

  “He wasn’t a friend of Ronnie’s.” She ran her hand through her hair and then pulled her son close again. “At first I thought he was the claims adjuster or one of the salesmen that were supposed to come out this week and give us an estimate on our siding that tore loose in that wind storm last month. So I kept asking him, are you here about the house repair – are you here about the siding? Are you the salesman? He just mumbled. Couldn’t understand a word from his mouth. “

  “Just stayed like that then?’

  “Not entirely. He started to come around a little. Tyler helped me get him into the house and on to the couch. We couldn’t just leave him there on the edge of the lawn. That’s how people swallow their own tongues and such. But once he was in the house, things got really weird. He was ranting about traveling into the evil place and begging me to get down or come down – something like that. He kept talking about the ghost deer. At first I worried that he was on angel dust or crystal meth or something. We called Dr. Stevenson and he was nice enough to come over from the clinic. He checked his vitals and did the best examination he could without having the proper facilities. He didn’t think it was necessary to get him to the hospital. He said he’d most likely be able to sleep the effects of whatever drug was in his system off. Said he’d gotten into something that was making him hallucinate. You might not know it but Dr. Stevenson is a former hippie - the real deal – the Haight Ashbury scene. He was happy that I didn’t want him transported over to the sheriff. Neither of us wanted to see the young man get into any more trouble than he was already having.”

  “I never would’ve guessed that about Stevenson. He always seemed like a real straight arrow. Then again, we’ve all got history.” He reminisced on his own colored past for a moment.

  “We watched the guy the last couple of days. He ran a steady fever that crept as high as a hundred and four, mumbling about getting hit with a hammer and people frozen under the lake, and more about a ghost deer with a knife. I think the whole affair kind’a scared Tyler. We left a few books for the man but when he seemed coherent he asked about DVDs and VCRs so I told Tyler to put our small television next to the couch so that the man had something to occupy himself. Ol’ Meril wandered in there and just stared at him. For a while I swear he was talkin to the cat. Tyler left the channel on that dreadful movie about jungle war – the one with Charlie Sheen’s daddy –”

  “The End is Now or something like that?”

  “I really don’t know the names of movies like that but it made the poor fella moan in his sleep. I told Tyler, you switch that channel right now, mister! You’re liable to give the man nightmares. You can put the channel on hunting or the hockey game or the Christian channel or the Family Network, and that’s it, Tyler! The Family Network was playing The Wizard of Oz and Alice in Wonderland – wholesome movies. I told Tyler to just keep away from him and we’d call Jeremy from down the road if we needed any help. I’m glad the guy’s okay. He is going to be okay, isn’t he? “
>
  “He’ll be all right. I’m considering calling the sheriff now, though, because he really shouldn’t be driving in his condition. He’s still high. At first I thought he called me a bitch but he said it again when I was trying to help him up and it sounded more like he called me a witch. I know what he’s on. He ate Dog Eyes. I could tell by looking at his pupils. Those berries are ripe this time of year. My uncle has been gathering them from the side of the highway near his house; otherwise the birds eat them and fly Kamikaze-style into his picture window. Last year one of them broke it and he came home to glass shards all over his carpeting and drunken birds flying around his living room. If you eat enough of them you’ll trip pretty hard. Too many and you go into a coma and die. The farm kids know enough about them. They eat them and lay around on top of Red Bear Hill hallucinating all night. I used to do it when I was a teenager. He might’ve mistaken them for another type of berries. Or maybe he came up here looking for them so he could get high. He doesn’t really look the type though. A few of those before getting back on the road and he ended up following the white rabbit down the hole and straight into our little Coleraine.”

  “I’m just glad he’s okay. I wouldn’t bother with the sheriff. He’ll probably come down soon now that he’s able to get up and get moving.”

  “When’s Ronnie getting back?”

  “Ronnie called last night. He