Jake nodded. "Could be. Could be we can't pull this off. Could be we'll have to forget about it." The good-humored smile evaporated. He gave me a cold look. "Maybe you should have thought about all that, Rachel. You're the one who blew the mission today. You're the one who let Visser Three know we were on to Jeremy Jason. Next time maybe you'll let the rest of us know when you're not in shape to handle a mission."
I would have argued ... if I could have. But everything he was saying was true.
I glanced at Cassie. She was looking down at the ground, embarrassed. Ax made a point of
108 aiming all four of his eyes away, like he was watching something fascinating far off in the distance.
I couldn't see Tobias. He was still out in the tall grass. But he must have overheard because he whispered to me, «Hey, don't worry about it, Rachel. It's okay.»
"No. It's not," I whispered.
109
Okay, yes, I had screwed up. But I was determined to fix the problem.
So I basically lied.
The next day I told Jake and Cassie that it had happened. The hereth ill int. I told them it had happened in great detail. I went on and on about how weird it was. I was very convincing. And they fell for it.
Of course, if I'd tried to fool Ax it wouldn't have worked. Because see, I didn't really know what was going to happen during this DNA burping. None of us had really understood Ax when he'd explained it. Once he starts in about Zero-space, we all just kind of glaze over.
But if I had tried to trick Ax, he would have
110 asked the one question neither Jake nor Cassie thought to ask: What did you do with the extra crocodile?
Anyway, when ! saw Jake the next day in school and told him it was all over, he believed me. Even Cassie believed me because I told her in a hurried whisper as we changed classes. I think if I'd had to look her right in the face, she would have known I was lying.
I had no choice. I had to make it to the Barry and Cindy Sue Show. One way or another, whatever it took, we had to stop Jeremy Jason from endorsing The Sharing on that show.
See, I knew I was okay. Because all I had to do was to control my emotions. Just stay unemotional, and I wouldn't go into uncontrolled morphs. And I'm good at handling emotion.
Except anger, maybe. I have a small problem with anger.
But who was going to make me mad on a stupid TV show? It would be fine. Fine.
Uh-huh.
After school I took a taxi again to my dad's hotel. I had the taxi pass by my house. Work crews were already there, ripping out the shattered remains of our kitchen and my bedroom. They had one of those super-sized Dumpsters out front, full of plasterboard and two-by-fours.
"Did you hear what happened to that place?"
111 the taxi driver asked me. "House just fell apart. I tell you, the way they build things nowadays."
To my surprise my dad was actually at the hotel, waiting for me.
"About time!" he said, a little frantically as soon as I walked in the room. "The show goes live at five o'clock! It's almost three! Where have you been?"
"School."
"Oh. Yeah. School. Come on, come on. Fortunately, we can walk to the studio and avoid traffic. It's just down the street. Five minutes."
Choosing an outfit took very little time: I only had about three things salvaged from the wreck of my bedroom. I quickly called Cassie to tell her to hurry, too. She was supposed to meet me at the studio.
She wasn't home, which probably meant she was already waiting for me. That was the plan. Cassie would be with me. The others would try to get into the studio in innocent-looking morphs. But we knew the Yeerks would be watching the place. They'd probably have some of their people in the audience. And for all any of us knew, Barry or Cindy Sue themselves might be Controllers.
"Are you nervous?" my dad asked as we hustled rapidly down the street.
"Not really," I said.
"Nationwide, live TV broadcast? Millions of
112 people watching? Coast-to-coast? And you're not nervous?"
"Now I am," I muttered. I suppressed the nervousness. I couldn't afford to feel anything. I just had to get through this without feeling any extreme emotion. I could do that.
We blew past the receptionist at the studio, my dad in the lead, looking like Mr. Big Time, and me double-stepping to keep up. Cassie was waiting in the lobby and got swept up with us.
"How you doing?" she asked me.
I shrugged. "Great."
"Really?"
"Yep."
"Nervous?"
"No."
"Excited?"
"No."
"Scared."
"Definitely not."
She leaned close and whispered. "Do we have a plan? I mean, what exactly are we doing about Jeremy Jason?"
I shrugged. "We're stopping him."
"How?"
I grinned. "We're improvising."
"Uh-oh."
Suddenly, a llama came tearing past. Its
113 dainty hooves skittered crazily on the waxed linoleum. It turned a corner and was gone.
"What the. . ." my dad said.
"Cool," Cassie said. Her eyes lit up the way they do when she sees any animal. "It's a llama. They're really neat animals, you know. They-"
Suddenly two people dressed in khaki raced up and shoved past us. They turned the corner after the llama and were gone.
The three of us just stood there staring at each other. Then a third person, a woman with a clipboard, ran up breathlessly. "Did you see a llama?"
I pointed. "That way."
"Hey, what's the deal?" my dad asked.
The woman shook her head like the world was coming to an end. "Bart Jacobs's on the show with his animals. The llama made a run for it. Smart animal."
"Bart Jacobs?" The name sounded familiar. "Isn't he that guy who takes animals on the talk shows?"
Cassie made a disapproving look. "That's him, all right. I hate seeing wild animals dragged into studios and treated like -"
"Well. If there are no more wild animals," my dad interrupted, "we have to keep moving." He started off again and we fell into step behind
114 him. He swept us in his wake toward the makeup room. The door was open. A woman with weird hair and black lipstick looked at my dad and gave a little leer. Then she looked at me and Cassie, like she was trying to figure out what to do with our faces.
"She's the one," my father said, pointing at me. "Rachel, meet Tai. Tai, my daughter Rachel. She's on the show."
"The skin is beautiful," Tai said. "But I think we want more body in the hair." She grabbed a handful of my hair and sort of threw it disdainfully. "What do you use on your hair?"
I told her the brand. She sneered. My dad took off to schmooze with some people he knew. And Tai shoved me into a barbershop-style chair, whipped a sheet over me, and began doing things with brushes.
I hate being shoved around like that.
It really kind of made me mad.
"This hair! This hair!" Tai complained. Then she yanked. Way too hard.
I hate being yanked.
Suddenly, Tai backed away. "What is happening to your hair? It's . . . it's turning gray!"
I looked past her to the mirror. I saw two things. I saw Cassie's horrified expression. And I saw my hair turning gray. Gray and shaggy.
Like a wolf.
115 It was happening! I'd gotten mad at Tai and I was morphing. Into a wolf! I shot a desperate glance at Cassie. Cassie acted instantly. "Look!" she cried. "Out in the hallway! It's ... urn ... it's Kevin Costner! And Tom Cruise, too!"
Tai screamed, "Where? Where?" dropped her brush and ran for the door.
I focused. Calm . . . calm . . . no emotion . . .
But Cassie wasn't helping. At all. "You lied! To me! Again! You didn't do that hereth illint thing at all! You're still allergic!"
"I'm trying to be calm, Cassie," I warned. "I'm trying to demorph."
"You can't do this stupid show while you're
still this way!"
"I'm doing the show. It's the only way! I'm not letting this creep . . . now look! You're just making me upset!"
The gray fur was beginning to grow on the back of my arms and hands. I shut my eyes. No anger. No anger. No anger.
"I didn't see Kevin Costner out there," Tai said suspiciously when she returned.
"I was sure that was him," Cassie said. "Sorry."
"Now what was going on with your hair?" Tai asked, staring baffled at my now-normal head.
"Dm ... not enough conditioning?" I suggested.
117 And that's when I suffered my second emotional jolt. Because that's when the cutest boy on the planet walked into the makeup room.
"Jeremy Jason," I heard Cassie whisper in awestruck tones.
No emotion . . . no emotion . . . , I told myself.
But you have no idea just how massively cute he was up close like that. And then he smiled at Cassie, and gave her a little half-hug. Like he'd probably done with a million fans before.
I saw Cassie's knees buckle. She actually wobbled.
"Hi, I'm Jeremy Jason McCole," he said to me. "Are you on the show, too?"
"Yes," I said, trying to sound like a robot. "Yes, I am on the show, too."
I didn't get up from the makeup chair. And I didn't shake his hand. Because I have to tell you the truth: Even knowing what he was now, even knowing what kind of person he was, even knowing that inside his head there lived an evil gray Yeerk slug, if he'd hugged me like he had Cassie, I would have morphed.
I would have morphed big time.
116
CHAPTER 20
?Hey," Jeremy Jason said, giving me his famous squinty, skeptical look. "Don't I know you from somewhere?"
I shook my head. "No. Definitely not."
"Yeah, yeah. You're the girl who fell into the crocodile pit after that kid. You're on the show today, huh?"
"That's not all she did," Cassie rushed to say. "She also had her house fall in on her."
I sent Cassie a "What are you doing?" look. Like having a house fall on me would make Jeremy Jason think better of me? Like that would impress him?
Cassie made a helpless, confused, giddy look and shrugged. She kept staring at Jeremy Jason
118 with this slightly weird grin. Of course, to be honest, I probably had the identical slightly weird grin.
Jeremy Jason flashed his smile. Then he said, "Look, Disaster Girl, or whatever you are, how about if you and your friend stumble on out of here? I need to get made up. And I don't need an audience."
That took care of the weird grins. Tai looked fiercely at me and jerked her head toward the door.
Outside in the hallway we found the llama. It was standing there, minding its own business.
"'Disaster Girl'?" I repeated. "Excuse me?"
"'Stumble on out of here'?" Cassie said.
We both looked at the llama.
"If you're waiting to get made up, you can forget it," I told the llama. "You're not a big enough star."
«Maybe not, but I will be someday,» the llama said.
"Yahah!" Cassie and I yelped. You'd think we, of all people, would be prepared for strange things like talking llamas. But it caught us totally by surprise.
"Marco?" I hissed.
«Who else would be this cute? Check out this fur. Check out this little llama smile on my little llama face.»
119 "What are you doing?"
«Jake's somewhere around here in cockroach morph. Ax is here in fly morph. I came that way, too. But then I saw this llama wandering around loose. So I thought, hey, why be a bug?»
"Where's the real llama?" Cassie whispered.
«Don't worry. I put him in an empty dressing room. By the way, I saw the schedule. Bart Jacobs and various animals of his, including yours truly, go on first, then the Wussy Wonder, and finally you, Rachel.»
Cassie cocked an eyebrow at me. I deliberately didn't look at her. I knew what she wanted me to do.
"Fine, /'//tell him," Cassie said. "Marco, Rachel may have slightly exaggerated when she said she was okay. You'd better warn Jake."
«She didn't burp the croc?»
"Nope."
"I'm fine as long as I don't get excited," I said defensively.
«You know, Rachel, I'm supposed to be the irresponsible one,» Marco said.
Cassie was biting her lip thoughtfully. "It's too late for Rachel just to cancel. But we need a backup, just in case. No matter what happens, we can't have people seeing Rachel morph."
«What can you do? If she morphs suddenly -»
120 "Well," Cassie interrupted, "the important thing is that there always be a Rachel. See? I can't believe what I'm even thinking, and it totally gives me the willies, but Rachel? I think we need a copy of you."
«Morph Rachel?» Marco trilled. «I'll do it! I'll do it!»
"When pigs fly," I said.
Marco shot a llama look to his left. «Uh-oh. Looks like I'm busted.»
The two khaki-clad trainers appeared at the end of the hallway. They crept up slowly. Marco waited patiently till they caught him, slipped a rope around his neck, and led him away.
«See you guys later,» Marco called back. «Break a leg. Not literally. That's just what we show biz people say to mean "good luck." I'm going to be on tee-vee-ee. I'm going to be on tee-vee-ee.»
Cassie laid her hand on my arm.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Don't worry, I'll never use your morph for anything bad," Cassie said solemnly. And then I started getting dreamy and drifty as she acquired my DNA.
"Don't do it unless you have to," I said. "It gives me the willies. I mean, jeez." I shuddered. And then, I felt my face beginning to bulge out.
"Rachel!"
121 "I'm cool. I'm cool," I said. I took a deep breath and let go of the grossed-out feeling I'd had about being morphed. The allergic morph stopped and my face returned to normal.
"Hey! You! The Falling Girl! Come on!"
The clipboard woman came rushing past and grabbed my arm, pulling me down the hall.
"Okay, listen up because we're desperately late. You go on in the last segment. I'll tell you when to go. You walk across the stage to Barry. He'll shake your hand. Then Cindy Sue will shake your hand, unless she's in a snit. Then you sit. Don't worry about which camera to look at, just look at Barry and Cindy Sue. Barry and Cindy Sue will ask you about all this alligator stuff -"
"Crocodile," I corrected.
"You tell them your little story. If Barry does this with his hand, that means speed up. If he does this with his hand, it means wrap it up because we're done. Got it? Good. Nothing to worry about."
She stopped suddenly and stared at Cassie. "Who are you?"
"I'm Falling Girl's partner, Dropping Chick," Cassie said.
Clipboard woman stared at her.
"She's my friend," I said. "You know, for moral support."
"Yeah, whatever. Come on. Our greenroom
122 can't be used. We had some band on the show last week and they trashed the place." She was still yanking me along by my arm, which would have made me mad. Except that I couldn't get mad. Or sad. Or anything, without setting off an allergic reaction.
Clipboard woman planted Cassie and me on two tall stools. We were in a dark corner, up against a cinder block wall covered in wires and cables and switches.
Bart Jacobs, the animal guy, was sitting on an identical stool. He was smoking a cigarette and talking to one of his animal handlers.
Lined up against the cinder block wall were half a dozen cages filled with Bart Jacobs's animals. A lion cub. A baby elephant. A python. A golden eagle.
From our gloomy corner we could see out onto the familiar Barry and Cindy Sue set. It was made up to look like a living room, with comfy-looking chairs clustered in the center. Facing the chairs were the cameras - one on each side and one right in the middle.
Beyond the brilliant light of the set was a studio audience. Not that I could see them. They w
ere in darkness, and the lights on the set blinded me for anything else.
Then, in a rush, Barry himself came blowing
123 past. "Hello, everyone, we're looking for a great show today. Hope you're all really up. Up! Up! Energy! Keep that energy high! See you out there!"
Ten seconds later, Cindy Sue swept by in a wave of perfume, followed by a man who was trying to comb Cindy Sue's hair as she walked.
She flashed a fake smile at me and a disdainful look at Bart Jacobs.
The animal guy leaned close to me, took his cigarette out of his mouth and said, "She's never forgiven me for one of my little beasties wetting on her dress."
From out beyond the lights I heard the welcoming roar of the audience. I saw my dad standing on the far side of the set, talking to clipboard woman. He saw me and flashed a smile and a wink.
I was not nervous. I was not scared. No emotion. No emotion. It was the only way. I could do it. I could.
Barry and Cindy Sue were chatting out on stage. Then Jeremy Jason came blowing past like a small thunderstorm. He looked mad. I heard him mutter to a frightened-looking man, "What do you mean the greenroom is closed? You can't keep me standing around! I'm Jeremy Jason McCole!"
124 Of course, he was probably not really Jeremy Jason McCole anymore. He was probably a Controller, I reminded myself. Right now, the real Jeremy Jason was caged in a corner of his own mind. He was watching helplessly as the Yeerk controlled his every movement, his every action, his every word.
Was it beginning to occur to the vain, ambitious jerk that he had been tricked? Had he realized yet that there is no such thing as partnership with a Yeerk?
The Yeerk is master. The human host is a slave. Period. And when the infestation is voluntary, the human slave is even weaker. Even less able to resist.
It made me sick to think of it. Jeremy Jason had asked for it. He'd let himself be tricked. Still, it made me sick . . .
Wait a minute. I d/c/feel sick.
0/7, no, I pleaded silently. Not now.
I looked at Cassie. "Cassie? I don't think I'm going to make it."
"What do you mean? Look, if you're scared or whatever, you just have to control the emotion."