CHAPTER VIII.
TWO EVENINGS.
For a rapid, short-lived acquaintanceship, above all other animals uponthis terrestrial sphere, commend me to the Continental drummer. Tocommence, he is always easy to chum with quickly, and always ready tomake the first advances. He is a salted traveller. He knows what is thebest of everything, how to get it, and, moreover, how to get itcheaply. He never plagues you with "shop," or secondhand guide-bookextracts, or sentiment about scenery and sunsets. Cheeriness and_bons mots_ are part of his stock-in-trade; brazen good-fellowshipis his strong specialty.
Haigh and I went up to our hotel, asked for a bedroom, and in Spanishstyle got a suite of apartments. We were just in time for dinner, and,having arrived _en prince_ in our own vessel, were going to bebilleted amongst the _habitues_ of the place--garrison soldiers,petty "proprietors," and priests--who sat round the superior table inthe big room. There we should have been in company that was vastlyrespectable and prodigiously slow. But nearer the street entrance wasanother smaller room, occupied chiefly by the commercial fraternity,and thither we went, the landlord fully comprehending our taste."Gentlemen do like to have a bit of a fling to rub away the salt, don'tthey, senores?" said he.
There is no shyness about the drummer. Before we had eaten ourpreliminary olive, the fat man at the end of the table had struck upconversation with Haigh; and before the _sopa_ was out of theroom, my next-door neighbour, a dapper Marseillais in the ready-madeclothing line, was calling me _amigo_. Whilst he helped himselffrom amongst the red sausages and beans and beef and pork and othertrifles on the dish which held the next course, the fat Cuban sketchedout a plan for the evening; and as he doused his salad withfull-flavoured oil, my little Frenchman endorsed the proposal of theflaxen-haired timber agent opposite that they should stand treat. Andwhile we munched our burnt almonds for dessert, some one ordered in abottle of bad sherry (which, being imported, is naturally thought moreof than the good country wine), and we agreed that we were all dearfriends, and had known one another intimately for a matter of tenyears. And then we rerolled fresh cigarettes, got our hats, and went toa _cafe_, six of us, where we crammed our _petits verres_with sugar-knobs and lighted them, meanwhile drinking bitter blackcoffee till the blue demon of the brandy should have flickered away.You know the style; it's the usual way of beginning.
After some half-hour's stay in the _cafe_ we seperated--Haigh andthe Cuban going off to a dance, whilst the little Frenchman carried meoff elsewhere. He had not defined our destination very clearly, and Ihad not made inquiries, caring little where I went; but I was a littleput out at finding myself, after passing a guard of soldiers who staredcuriously, and going down many flights of steps, in an anarchist'sclub.
Perhaps the government of his most Catholic Majesty Alfonzo XIII. canhardly be termed paternal; but that was nothing to me. Politics Iabhor, and anarchistic politics I particularly loathe. But as beatingan abrupt retreat would have been rude, and as unnecessary rudeness isnot one of my characteristics, I made the best of it, and stayed andlooked about me.
One room of the place had been fitted up as a kind of chapel, withecclesiastical candles and other properties on a table at the fartherend, with portraits of Mazzini, Gambetta, Prim, and other worthies ofthe Red Kidney on the walls, and with orderly pews on either side ofthe central aisle. In this cellar temple a preacher was just winding upa fervid discourse on the comparative merits of melinite and blastinggelatine as we came up, and a minute later I was being introduced tohim. I think he was the leanest man I ever came across. He stood goodsix feet high, and couldn't have weighed more than seven stone. Youcould almost see the bone of his face through the thin covering ofskin; and if one might judge from the fact that his smart blackfrockcoat fitted like a stocking, it was fair to surmise that he wasactually proud of his leanness. One got the idea that all thenourishment of his body had gone out into his long white beard.
We went out of the general hall into a smaller room, where we sat andsmoked.
Taltavull, my new acquaintance, was simply charming. Till that night Ihad thought that an anarchist could only attain to his peculiar creedthrough the most comprehensive ignorance; but this man had arrived atthe result through the diametrically opposite path. He spoke almost allEuropean languages with fluency, and knew Lingua Franca, Arabic, andSanscrit. I never met any one so widely read; nor was his readingsuperficial; and he possessed a memory that refused nothing. He couldquote verbatim page after page of such writers as Schopenhauer,Voltaire, Mazzini. And far better than this, he had studied men ofevery grade in the living flesh. What his nationality was I couldn'tsay, though I should guess him as either a Pole or an Italian; but itis certain that he had had the constant _entree_ to places where aman of his opinions would presumably be looked upon with round-eyedhorror. And yet he owned to never concealing his views from any man."The sublime importance of our end, Monsieur Cospatric," said he,"justifies any means taken to attain it. We are associated withdynamite? Justly. Dynamite is a deplorable necessity."
If Taltavull had merely kept on in this strain, I should have put himdown as one of those human paradoxes a man is bound to meet if hevagabondizes much, and should have forgotten him and his gruesomeschemes and ideals by the next day. But he touched upon a theme which,in view of the purpose which had brought us to Minorca, made me cock myears with a new interest.
"It is this dynamite," he said, "that is at once our strongest weaknessand our greatest weapon. Were it not for terrorism, the officialupholders of old _regimes_ would crush us out of existence asvenomous reptiles. For instance, you noticed a guard of soldiers at thedoor as you came in? At the least disturbance down here those men wouldfire mum-chance amongst the throng, and be delighted at the chance ofdoing so. You see our school of thought is recognized, and though hatedit is respected. They, thanks to their dread of certain reprisals,recognize the truce so long as we are not engaged in active and openwar against society. This is a great advance, monsieur, is it not?"
I shrugged my shoulders.
"You are not in sympathy with us?"
"Not in the very least," I told him frankly. "Your principles are fartoo explosive for my taste."
Taltavull waved a bony hand deprecatingly. "The universal complaint,monsieur. It is the one great drawback to our Cause that we have as yetdiscovered no means of propagating it save only by the theory ofdevastation. It is only strong men and, I regret to say it, desperatemen who can accept the gospel of dynamite. There are teeming millionsof others ready enough to blow up society as it is at presentconstituted, but who shrink from the only means we have to propose."
"Then in your heart of hearts," said I, "you must know that you cannever succeed."
The man smiled. "If even dynamite were taken away from us, I should notdespair of success, monsieur. With it I am confident; the end is only aquestion of time. But I hope to hasten the consummation. There isanother method, which if attained and properly applied, could, I moststrongly believe, reduce society to one dead and happy level. And,monsieur, I believe the Fates have chosen me to be the prime instrumentin this matter. I shall invent or refind the talisman, and then it willbe in my own hands to sweep out the grades from all the people of theearth, and tear down all their laws. Think of it!"
"By Jove, senor," said I, "universal anarchy! That's a strong order."
"It is possible, though, and I believe probable. With my talisman itcan be done. I have thought over every tittle of the means throughpatient years of waiting, and I am confident that I, and I alone, canuproot all existing institutions when once I have this trivial lever."
Taltavull was stalking up and down the room like a long black spectre.He had forgotten my presence. His fanatical schemes enwrapped his mindcompletely. There was a minute's silence, and then I said halfjokingly,--
"They'd make you king of the anarchists."
I must have repeated his thoughts, for he replied instantly in ahalf-whisper, "They must;" but perhaps remembering that the admissionwas a damaging one
, he stopped in his walk and addressed me with foldedarms and lowered brow.
"I beg of you to spare me such jest, Monsieur Cospatric. This is theone subject I have at heart; it has occupied my life-work; to it I havesurrendered fortune, station, everything. Whether or no I look for arecompense cannot interest you."
"Oh, all right," said I; "sorry I spoke. A comprehensive ignorance ofall brands of politics must be my excuse."
He stared at me thoughtfully for a minute, and then: "I fear you thinkme a visionary, monsieur, or even worse, a trifler with men's lives. Ifyou are illiberal, you may deem me no better than a common murderer.Our need is misunderstood, misrepresented. But I will not attempt todefend it with you now--some other time perhaps. Let me tell you of mygreat hope, and then you will understand how little it has to do withthe bloody holocausts we are so unfortunately associated with." Andthen this strange creature began to unfold a scheme of policy whichseemed to me the maddest my ears had ever listened to, and yet withcogent method in its madness. Briefly, he wanted to produce diamonds inhuge quantities, and sow them broadcast over the globe. As gems theywould then be no longer valuable. Castes would cease to exist. And thengovernments could be stamped out.
Viewed in the light of after recollection, the whole thing seemsabsurd, even paltry. But as I heard it then, declaimed with hot,earnest fluency by an enthusiast who had spent long, clever years overhis case, it appeared to prove itself up to the hilt. Of course hisarguments must have been warped, and his premises utterly false; but socleverly were they compiled that I could not detect the flaws, and inspite of the outcry of common sense, which shouted "Wrong, wrong, wrong" at the close of each period, I felt myself agreeing implicitly toevery clause. And when at length he stopped, exhausted with his ownenthusiasm and vehemence, I nodded a tacit agreement, and questionednothing.
"You must wonder," he went on, after a little pause, "what brings me touse this world-forgotten spot as a workplace; why I come to a townwhere there are eight women to one man, to an island whose whole energyis not equal to that of the smallest city on the Continent. Have youheard of Raymond Lully? Yes? Then you may remember that he was born atMiramar in Mallorca, and lived much of his life in these BalearicIslands. It was an old journal of his which I found in Rome that firstgave me the embryo of my idea. I went round to Barcelona, and crossedto Palma. In the Conde de M----'s library I found in other manuscriptsmention of the same thing. Beyond doubt that queer mixture of aman--missionary, fanatic, quack, what you will--had made diamonds asfar back as the year 1280. He owned to having stumbled across theRecipe accidentally. Like other alchemists of his time, thetransmutation of metals was his aim, and the crystallization of part ofhis graphite crucible was quite a matter of chance; but it occurredmost surely; and he analyzed the why and wherefore, and wrote down themethod of working in a place where he says it would last for all timeunless he chose to divulge it."
"Great heavens!" said I, jumping up, "then you've got it?"
The anarchist smiled sadly. "I have searched and searched and searched,and have had others on the quest for me. But so far our efforts havebeen all unsuccessful. I can understand your excitement"--("Thank myseveral stars you can't," thought I, settling back into my chair)--"Youthink my great regeneration is already in commencement? You may evenhave had trivial qualms about your own relatives' trinkets? No,Monsieur Cospatric, the time has unfortunately not yet come."
"You cannot expect me to condole with you."
"You say you are a non-combatant, and that is better than I could haveexpected. You English as a rule are singularly averse to ourpropaganda. But wait and see how affairs order themselves."
"It will be a long time to wait. I'm afraid you'll never find theRecipe."
I had risen to my legs to say good-bye. Taltavull gripped my hand inhis bony fingers. "You don't know me, Monsieur Cospatric. Weanarchists never give in. I shall not cease searching for this Recipetill I find it, or until I learn for certain that it has beendestroyed. Buenas noches."
"Good-night," said I, and went out into the moonlight. My littleFrenchman had gone long ago, and so I strolled alone down the steepcobbled street, conning over many things. Verily this life is full ofstrange coincidences.
Haigh was at the hotel. I met him coming out of the room_vis-a-vis_ to ours across the passage. We went in to ourquarters, and sat in wicker-lined rocking-chairs (relic of the timewhen the Yankee had Port Mahon for a rendezvous), and he told me manythings. "But," he concluded, "it was the music that drove me out. Thosedark-eyed factory girls were just fine, and _la marguerita_ as adance perfection. But the orchestra was an addition I couldn't stand atany price. It was something too ghastly for words. All the brass sharpand the strings screechy. So I just skipped, came back here, andforgathered with a lone, lorn Englishman on his first trans-Channeltrip. He was a splendid find. Needless to say, he's going to write abook about his travels, and as he seemed eager for information, I gavehim a lot. Honestly, he's the most stupendous Juggins it's ever been myfate to meet; and that's putting the matter strongly, for since I'vebeen--er--on the wander, I've come across most brands of fool."
"What manner of man is he to look at?"
"Oh, middle height, tweeds and cap all to match and new for the trip,big brown eyes that look at you dreamily, and a rather Jewish face. Nota bad-looking chap by any means, but oh, such a particularly verdantsort of greenhorn. The only one point on which he showed a single grainof sense was in refusing to play poker with me. He didn't want tooffend me; he hoped most sincerely that I should take no offence, but afriend had extracted a promise from him before he left home to play nocard games with strangers. The fact was, he was really so unskilfulwith cards. I wasn't offended, was I? His candour was so refreshingthat I could truthfully say I was not."
I tried to talk about my evening, but Haigh would not listen. Said he:"I'm not interested in that particular kind of nonsense. If you haven'tembraced the glorious principles of anarchy, old chappie, that's enoughto tell. You've met a wise man who's a damned fool, and I've met a foolwho, in points, is a wise man; and I prefer my own find. If you'd heardhim talking about his book that is to be, you'd have stood good chanceof choking with suppressed emotion. It's going to turn out a greatsuccess. He will spend quite three weeks here and in Mallorca, so as to'do' both islands thoroughly. And then he would like to go to Ivica,but didn't know whether it was advisable to risk it. Could I advisehim? Were the people there very savage? Oh, my Juggins, my Juggins, youwere something too delicious for words when you got on that tack,evidently wanting authentic adventures to be enlarged upon for thegreat work, and obviously fearing most tremendously to encounter thesame. You won't go to Ivica, I can see that; but I'd bet all I'm worththat the chapter on 'My Adventure with the Brigands' will appear withfull detail. I've a bit of imagination myself, and I guess I gave youenough subject-matter to fudge it from most thrillingly."
"Hard lines to stuff the poor wretch too much."
"Not a bit of it, dear boy. The great stay-at-home B.P. will swallowthe yarn chapter and verse, and know for certain that poor harmlessIvica is a den of robbers; Juggins will believe it all, smoke, flash,and report, after he has retailed it twice, and will pose as a hero;and I, I've had my amusement. You should hear him talk about theillustrations, too. He can't draw or paint; hasn't a notion of either.And he's never taken a photograph. But a friend advised him to get ahand camera of the 'Absolutely Simple' pattern, and he's been exposingplates right and left. A pro.'s to develop them when he gets home if hecan succeed in passing them through the Customs, and if he doesn't getthe thing confiscated for getting pictures of fortresses, both of which(he informs me) are mighty and great dangers. And, by the way, thatreminds me. He got spilt off a donkey this afternoon, and damaged hisnose and jolted up the camera. Being blissfully ignorant of thepicture-machine's mechanisms he doesn't like to meddle with it, but'I'm afraid something's gone inside, Mr. Haigh, because it rattles whenI shake it.' So thinking I owed the chap something for the fun I'd hadout of him, I s
aid I'd get you to fix it up for him. You've beenbottle-washer to a photographer for a bit, haven't you?"
"Something in that line, but I've no tackle here."
"Oh, that's all right. Here's his dark-room lamp, and the shutters tothis room are solid. They'll keep out the moonlight."
We swung-to the coverings over the windows, and put a lighted candlebehind the cherry-glass shade, and then I took the little camera out ofits leather case. It was a cheap quarter-plate, and the jar had startedup two of the angles.
"The rest of the illustrations for that book will have to wait tillthis is coopered up," said I.
"Are the plate-things inside spoiled?" Haigh asked.
"No, they're all right so far as exposure to light goes. However, I'lllook. Phew! what a mess! Every blessed one smashed except the lastcouple. Your man will have to go over his ground again to replacethese."
"What's that contrivance?" asked Haigh, who was peering over myshoulder.
"A spare dark-slide to use instead of the big plate-holder. Empty.Look, I'll put the two sound plates in there, and you can tell theJuggins that he can put those in his pocket and take the camera to aphotographer man to get mended. Not that I expect that any one can doit here. But he can try."
"All right, thanks. It'll be rather a blow to him, but I must break itgently. Well, ta-ta, good-night. I think you'll own I've picked up mostamusement for this evening?"