I let out an exaggerated sigh and mentally pulled myself together. “It’s not the booze, your royal highness. It’s the celebration. It’s contrived and so desperately sweet, my teeth hurt.”
Kiran sounded nearly angry when he replied, “It’s neither of those things. It’s been a beautiful day and it’s bloody well time these two shared some something sweet. After all Talbott and Lilly have been through-”
I held up a lazy hand. “Stop. I know I’m being an arse.”
“Yes, you are.” He pulled up a chair next to me and chuckled. “But I suppose you have good reason to be one.”
“And what does that mean?”
Instead of answering my question, he simply grinned at me. “I’m happy to see Seraphina with someone again. It’s been almost a year since she tossed you out. It’s good to see she’s finally moved on.”
I swallowed back an ugly growl. “Right.”
“I never thought she’d go for a Russian though. He’s just so much bigger than you.”
For an entire minute, I seriously considered assassinating my king before Avalon slunk down next to us and opened his mouth. Then I considered murdering both of my kings.
“Seraphina is smiling again. She must be into that whole giant thing.” Avalon sounded truly interested in her love life, which was disturbing.
“What are you talking about?”
Avalon sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “Seraphina’s date. He looks like Dolph Lundgren.”
“Dolph Lundgren is old,” I pointed out.
“Not today’s Dolph Lundgren. But you know, Dolph Lundgren in his prime.”
“It sounds like you have a crush on him, Avalon. Why don’t you see if Seraphina will let you cut in?”
Kiran clasped my shoulder with his hand. “And it sounds like you are jealous.”
“Of the commy boxer? Not on your life.” I ran a hand over my eyes. I suddenly had a headache.
“It has to be kind of rough, though,” Avalon continued. “The girl you’re still in love with is happy and dancing with someone twice your size in more ways than one. And you’re sitting against the wall, miserable, lonely and pathetic.”
I was definitely going to kill them both. Terletov could send me a thank you note. I couldn’t take this anymore.
“Didn’t your date cancel on you at the last minute?” Kiran goaded.
“Her sister had a baby.” I breathed in slowly and out even slower. I fought bad guys on a daily basis, surely I could put up with these two nitwits for a few more minutes.
“Oh, right,” Kiran sympathized. “The old, her-sister-had-a-baby bit. It’s alright if you couldn’t find another date on such short notice. No one thinks any less of you.”
“Her sister had a baby.” Her sister had a baby! Not that I had been terribly upset when Jessica called to cancel… but they didn’t need to know that.
And I hadn’t known Sera would show up with a date of her own and rub it in my face.
“Sure, she did.” Avalon slapped me on the back. “We believe you. Don’t we Kiran? Sure, we believe you.”
I stood up. I couldn’t take this anymore. “You’re all a bunch of wankers, you know that?”
I left the heckling hyenas to make jokes to each other while I wandered toward the bar. Lilly and Talbott’s wedding had been quiet and intimate. While we all celebrated their nuptials, the occasion was more than a little somber.
They had been through so much over the years. Under Lucan’s reign, while the Kingdom adjusted to accepting Shifters and now with Terletov’s terrorism, they had suffered more than any couple should. To make the event even more difficult, Gabriel had not been present to perform the ceremony.
Everyone in attendance mourned Gabriel and Silas all over again. While Avalon officiated and made everything legal, at least according to our laws, he could not replace the priest.
Avalon had a pretty enough face, but the reality that my dear friends were gone forever hit harder than I thought possible. It had been four months since I watched them die. Four months since they were murdered at Terletov’s hands. I had moved on as much as possible. I had grieved and attended their memorials and I had found closure.
But to have something like this, such a momentous and historic occasion, without them felt so… wrong. And in the wake of that, I had to watch Lilly drag herself up the aisle to her husband.
She went happily and with the biggest smile I’d ever seen her wear, but her body was still deep in the healing process. She looked tiny standing next to Talbott. Her body had become frail during her long coma and Terletov’s captivity. She always looked small and delicate, but these days she looked downright fragile.
Having such a small gathering, with all the people I cared about, yet while missing some of the most important and watching the bride struggle to stand for the entirety of her wedding, put things into sharp perspective for me.
I didn’t normally like moments like this. Ones of poignant clarity or deep, internal speculation. I preferred to ignore everything that caused feelings to happen inside of my bitter, cynical soul. I preferred indifference and sarcasm.
Those were my safe places. My happy places.
But these things and emotions happened to me anyway. It was rather frustrating to find out that I couldn’t stop them.
And when I found myself wallowing in grief and self-pity, I also found myself looking at the one person I had sworn I was finished with forever.
Seraphina.
I thought she might understand what was happening inside. Or I’d hoped that maybe she felt the same sadness sweeping through her that I felt in me. I’d wanted someone to commiserate with.
Or at the very least, someone to help me forget how depressing life had become lately.
We broke up a year ago, but that didn’t mean we hadn’t occasionally taken a night off from loathing each other with the passion of a thousand suns.
Alright, we still hated each other; we just focused that passion toward more… mutually satisfying endeavors.
But that hadn’t happened this time. Instead, she’d been sitting next to her Russian ogre, happily enjoying the vows. She hadn’t even noticed I had been seated directly across the aisle from her. She’d been too busy with the pale troll.
I had turned back to Lilly and Talbott and decided those two fools were making the biggest mistake of their lives. Sure, they’d both been through hell and worse over the last four years, but marital bliss had to be much worse than anything they’d gone through yet.
How could they willingly commit themselves to an eternity of pain and suffering? Did they enjoy arguing with each other every single day from now until the end of time?
Maybe they did. Maybe Lilly could be all quiet in front of us but hot and passionate behind closed doors.
No. That was wrong. And now it was weird that I was thinking about Lilly like that. She was like a sister to me.
Before I could make it all the way to the bar and lose my troubles at the bottom of about six highballs of great bourbon, a very gorgeous, very pregnant, very married woman intercepted my path.
“Dance with me,” Eden ordered.
“I’m not sure there’s room for me.” I gestured at her rather large stomach.
She glared at me. “I’ll make room.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. She did that to me in a way her arse of a husband never could. And her idiot brother was even worse. But this woman made me smile. Always.
I took her hand and led her to the small dance floor in the middle of rows and rows of grape vines. The wedding had taken place in a quaint, little church that bespoke romance, tradition, and secrecy.
Immediately after the nuptials, we’d moved to this remote vineyard, where the wedding guests danced under a millions stars, drank bottle after bottle of wine and breathed in the balmy June air that seemed to sing along with the music.
It was a very nice night to get married. Kudos to the bride and groom for rushing this shindig.
<
br /> I dropped my hand to Eden’s large waist and then jumped when I got kicked. “Apparently, they don’t think I belong here.”
It was her turn to laugh. “Don’t worry, they do that to everyone. They love me the most and yet I am kicked all of the time.”
“Nasty already? Just wait till they pop out.”
“I love that your idea of childbirth involves children just popping out. That sounds much nicer than what I’m envisioning.” We laughed together while we moved seamlessly around the dance floor.
Okay, that wasn’t entirely true, but I didn’t want to draw attention to the fact that Eden, one of the most beautiful women I’d ever met, was waddling like an overweight penguin.
“Nervous?” I raised my eyebrows at her.
She stared me down with those glittering black eyes of hers and I could practically feel the hairs on her arms rise with challenge. Her black hair floated around her shoulders in the night breeze and pretty lips tilted into a small smile.
“Not any more than usual,” she replied.
In Eden-speak, that meant she was nervous as bloody hell, but planned on jumping in feet first and with all the gusto she usually reserved for storming castles or killing tyrants.
These children were in good hands with her as their mother.
We had danced in silence for a little longer before she said, “The love of your life is on a date with someone that isn’t you.”
“Titus?” I glanced over my shoulder. I didn’t think this was technically a date for him, but he’d been rather interested in Ophelia ever since her sister and Jericho started sucking face. I thought for a while he would go after Roxie, but O seemed to have caught his full attention, where Roxie managed to only catch most of it. “I think he has a thing for her. I’m trying to control my jealous rage.”
“I meant Seraphina.”
“Ah. So you also meant former-love of my life.”
Her intelligent onyx eyes narrowed further. “You should know I think it’s adorable you’re in such strong denial. It reminds me of me once upon a time.”
I snorted. “You were in denial, my pretty Queen. I am firmly in reality. Seraphina and I are over. I moved on. She moved on. With Sven apparently.”
“Sven?”
“The Russian.”
“I think his name is Andrei.”
I snorted again.
“See?” She pinched my side until I squirmed. “You still love her.”
“No, I still love myself, which is why I’ve decided to steer clear of her and any other females that want the two L’s.”
“The two L’s?” She cocked her head back and made a guess. “Love and… licorice?”
“My last name and a large diamond ring.”
Her head fell back further and she looked up at the starry night desperately. “So it’s not love you’re afraid of, but matrimony?”
I nodded. “I’m not afraid of love. I love love. What I don’t love is a lifetime of having to answer to someone else or incessant nagging.”
“I know you think you’re funny, but Seraphina was never like that to you and you know that.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t say she was.”
“You should dance with her,” Eden ordered. And this was not a question or suggestion, this was her queenly edict that she would not let me ignore.
“You should probably dance with your husband and forget all about me.”
She tried to lean in, but her protruding stomach prohibited her from getting too close. She made a growly sound in the back of her throat before she settled for patting my waist with her dainty hand. “I think you better stop being stubborn and go after the girl that actually makes you happy.”
“You make me happy. Can I go after you?”
“Sure,” she grinned. “I bet you can’t wait to be a father. I bet you’re so excited to stay up all night and help me feed the babies and watch me give birth and learn to change diapers and-”
“That’s enough,” I said quickly. “You don’t have to turn me off kids forever. Let’s keep some of the mystery.”
Eden smiled at me and her eyes softened. “I just want to see you happy and settled.”
“I am happy and settled,” I promised.
“No, you’re bloodthirsty and vengeful. And those aren’t attractive qualities.”
I made an incredulous sound in the back of my throat. “You’re those things too! And you’re with child! The bastard took the Citadel, Eden, of course, I’m vengeful. He killed some of the best men I’ve ever known and experiments on innocents. Of course, I’m bloodthirsty.”
She slapped my bicep. “I wasn’t talking about Terletov, Bastian. I was talking about Sven.”
And then she shoved me. The Queen of the Immortals, the Queen currently pregnant with twins, shoved me.
I was too surprised to catch myself right away. I stumbled backward and bumped into someone else, which wasn’t a surprise since I was already in the middle of a busy dance floor.
I spun around and caught the person I was in the process of knocking over. One hand grabbed for her slender waist and the other managed to get hold of her arm. She let out a soft squeal before I pulled her upright and met that wide ice-blue gaze.
Seraphina.
Eden had terrible timing. Although, I suspected she was quite proud of herself at the moment.
I had two options. I could drop Seraphina and flee. My brain told me that was an excellent idea and ordered my feet to move posthaste. They did not listen because they were on board with option two: Pull her closer and dance with her.
Most of the time, my brain controlled my body. But there were the few occasions when my body took over that no amount of rationale or reasoning could intercede. Seraphina fell into arms as comfortably as she always did. I pulled her against my chest and something inside of me clicked into place. I hadn’t felt like this in a while. She hadn’t let me feel like this in a while.
I swore to myself I would get the small fix my entire body craved and then I would release her back to her Russian.
But first I needed her familiarity, her memorable body touching as much of me as she would allow.
God, this girl could infuriate me beyond anything else in this world, but I couldn’t ignore the perfect way she felt in my arms.
Deftly, I slid my hand down her forearm and grabbed her hand so I could lead her around. She was too stunned at first to make any protest and then it was too late. Other people had noticed us dancing together and Seraphina would dance with me for the rest of the night before she caused a scene. I had never appreciated that quality about her until this moment.
“Hello,” I grinned at her.
“What are you doing?” she hissed.
“It isn’t obvious?”
She narrowed her eyes. “It isn’t.”
“I’m dancing with you.”
“That part is obvious. I want to know why?” She stepped into me and I inhaled her signature perfume. She smelled like flowers and home and I wanted to dip my nose into her neck and become intoxicated by her.
And then I wanted to push her down and run as far away from here as fast as I could. These were the kind of insane thoughts this woman made me feel. She turned me mad, actually mad. I couldn’t tell up from down when I was near her, right from left or sane from insane.
Toxic. She was toxic for me.
I pulled my damnable Magic back from hers as quickly as I could. Our Magics were often tricky when we got together. I would often catch mine sneaking off to join hers. The Magic hadn’t gotten the memo that we were over. And no matter what I did to interest it in another woman, he seemed intently devoted to this one harpy and this one harpy alone.
“Before your active imagination runs off with you, I should blame this on Eden. She practically commanded me to dance with you.” Alright, so that wasn’t the smoothest way to lull her into dancing with me, but I thought probably the safest.
Sera wrinkled her nose. “Ever the slave to the crown.”
I slid my hand to the small of her back and pushed her forward so that we pressed against each other. The slow string ensemble played something melodic and I slowed us down to an intimate pace.
“Mmm.” This was an old argument between us and now was not the time to rehash how I wronged her or what I could have done differently. I was tired of that conversation. So, very tired of it. “You look lovely tonight, Sera.”
Most girls would have blushed beneath my concentrated compliment. Not, Seraphina Van Curen. This one knew my number.
Her expression grew warier and her entire body tensed. “Thank you.”
“Who’s the KGB?”
She looked around. “The who? Oh, you mean Andrei.”
“I mean Andrei.” Something sizzled through me, bitter and furious. I struggled to take a deep breath. I needed air. No, we were already outside. I needed… something.
“When’s the last time we saw each other?”
“The Citadel,” I answered immediately. How could she not remember that? I couldn’t stop thinking about that day. Terletov took our home, our most sacred place. And after we’d escaped…
“Oh, right.” She cleared her throat nervously. Good. I wanted her unsettled when she thought about that night. “Andrei and I started shortly after that.”
I took a moment to digest those words. “Shortly after that?”
“Actually, almost right after,” she confirmed.
I stepped into her and closed whatever space had remained between us. I burned with anger and an adolescent need to punch something hard. I wanted bloody, broken knuckles and a blinding pain that would sear these words from my consciousness. I wanted to hurt something. I wanted to demolish it.
It being Andrei.
Despite the volcano raging inside of me, my nose traced the shell of her ear and I let my breath out in the slow, measured way that used to drive her crazy. “That night must have meant nothing to you then.”
Her voice trembled when she replied, “I told you that it wouldn’t.”
I stepped back and dropped my arms to my sides. I hadn’t believed her then and I wasn’t sure I believed her now. We’d spent the night wrapped in each other’s embrace in a hotel room in Budapest because neither one of us could let the other go after such a traumatic day.