I want to tell him I haven’t even fully committed to coming yet, but instead say, ‘I’m not sure, but I’ll let you know soon.’
‘Okay, but just so you know, we’d love to have you and Callie here if she can come.’ He sounds like he means it.
Again, I’m a little thrown off by this weird I-care-for-you thing he’s got going. I keep my composure, though, and say goodbye before heading back to work, even though I have ten more minutes of break time. I try not to think about Tyler too much, yet I can’t help it. Because what if he really does know.
Knows where my father is.
Chapter 5
#134 Invite Someone to Prom **coughs** aka Halloween Party.
Callie
‘Really?’ I say to Seth as I read what he just wrote on my whiteboard. Seth and I have been creating this to-do list since the beginning of freshman year when we first became friends. There’s no rule to what goes on there, it just needs to be something we think at least one of us has to try. This whiteboard version actually starts at one hundred since the list got so long we had to transfer some of them onto a piece of paper.
‘Yes, really.’ He taps the marker against number one hundred seventeen. ‘It isn’t any weirder than this one.’
‘Hey, I totally did that the other day.’ I snatch the marker from his hand and draw a line through number one hundred seventeen.
‘You’re so weird,’ he says as I put the cap of the marker back on and toss it aside.
I roll my eyes at him. ‘That’s the pot calling the kettle black.’
‘Totally,’ he agrees, his gaze drifting to the window. ‘So are you ready for this?’
My face bunches up in confusion. ‘Ready for what?’
He taps his finger against the whiteboard right where he just wrote one hundred thirty-four. ‘Duh, what you’re going to do today.’
Shaking my head, I sink down on the bed. ‘I’m not doing that.’
He puts his hands on his hips and stares me down. ‘You so are.’
I fold my arms and aim a challenging look at him. ‘Am not.’
‘You have to,’ he insists. ‘The concert is tomorrow and I already told Greyson you were coming.’
‘Fine, I’ll ask Kayden,’ I tell him, defeated. ‘But not in some weird, cheesy prom way like people do in high school.’
‘You so are, Callie Lawrence.’ He grabs my arm and jerks me to my feet so hard I stumble. ‘This is something you so need to do.’
I give him the nastiest look ever. I get that he thinks I need to relive my high school days, since they sucked big time, and I want to, but at the same time … ‘I’m afraid I’ll be living in the past if I do it.’
His determination softens, but he still pulls me to the door, throwing my coat at me in the process. ‘Nope. Not at all.’ He opens the door and steers me out into the hallway with him, navigating us around a group of people loitering in the hallways. ‘See, this is you and me walking away from the past and heading to the future.’
‘You’re speaking metaphorically, aren’t you?’ I ask as we reach the elevator and he presses the down button.
‘I had my Philosophy class today,’ he admits as the elevator doors slide open and we step inside. ‘Now, would you pretty please do this with me?’ His finger hovers over the button of the ground floor, waiting for me to agree because in the end, regardless of how pushy he is, he’ll always back down if I ask him to. That’s the thing with Seth and why he’s such a good friend.
‘Oh, fine. Let’s go be cheesy,’ I huff as if I’m aggravated, but in the end we are both smiling. And really, that’s kind of the point of this, of anything, isn’t it?
‘So this is what people do when they ask each other to prom, huh?’ I stare at the front of Kayden’s lofty dorm building as Seth snaps a thin branch from the tree, causing a pile of snow to fall on his head.
Sweeping the snow out of his hair, he nods then he crouches down and draws a heart in the snow. ‘Yes, you have to be creative with these things. In fact, the more creative, the better.’ As he says it, he writes in the snow:
Kayden, will you go to a Halloween concert with me? I would swoon over the moon if you did.
He stands up with a proud expression after he finishes. ‘See, now all you have to do is go get him.’ He drops the branch and dusts snow from his gloves.
‘Swoon over the moon?’ I question and he gives me a what look. I retrieve my gloves from my pocket and slip my fingers inside them. ‘I have a better idea.’ I pick up the branch and brush my hands across the surface of the snow, erasing what he wrote and giggling when he starts to complain. Then I kneel down and write something that’s actually from me.
‘If I’m going to do this, then I should do it,’ I tell him as I trace the tip of the stick across the snow. When I’m done, I stand up and admire my handiwork.
Seth steps beside me and reads what I wrote. ‘Kayden, let me dazzle you at a Halloween concert. P.S. Seth made me do this because he put it on the list.’ He gives me a look. ‘That’s really what you want to write?’
I brush snow out of my hair that’s falling from the trees. ‘Yep, I think it’s perfect.’
He sighs, but he’s smiling, so I know he thinks I’m amusing. ‘Here, let me see your phone.’
I reach into my pocket and give it to him, not really thinking too much about it. ‘Why? Where’s yours?’
He’s chuckling under his breath as he types something. ‘In my pocket.’
‘Then why do you need mine.’
Laughing, he tosses me the phone. ‘Let me know how it goes and if you need a ride later.’ He saunters off toward the parking lot.
‘Seth, what did you do?’ I shout at him, but then shake my head at myself and go into my text messages to see for myself. ‘Hey, lover. Meet me outside your dorm building in ten. I have a naughty little surprise for you,’ I read it aloud, unsure whether to be angry or amused. I decide to go for the latter, since Seth didn’t mean anything by it and Kayden shouldn’t think much of it. At least, I hope he doesn’t … or maybe I do.
Kayden: Hmm … I’m intrigued. I’ll be down in a sec.
Sighing, I put my phone away and wait for him to come out to me. I wonder if he thinks I’m going to bombard him with another question like I did the other day. I am kind of making it a habit. Texting him to meet me out here in the middle of the yard that looks like a winter wonderland.
I should really find another way to do stuff like this.
A couple of minutes later, Kayden walks outside, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his coat. The wind blows through strands of his brown hair that hangs in his eyes and flips up at his ears. His shoulders are strong, his entire body lean and in shape, but covered in scars, put there by both himself and his father. Still, he’s absolutely gorgeous. I’ve always thought so, even when we were younger. Our parents actually knew each other – small town thing – and had parties a lot that we attended, but Kayden never really noticed me until I stepped in one time right after graduation when his father was in the middle of beating him. It was back when I was still cutting my own hair and wore clothes two sizes too big so I wouldn’t get noticed by anyone.
But that night, he noticed me, like I had always noticed him.
And I – neither of us … was the same again.
‘You know you can come up to my room?’ he teases as he strolls over to me. ‘There’s not a “no girls allowed” rule.’ He winks as he stops in front of me, all smiles. I can see in his eyes that he’s keeping something from me, though. Something that’s bothering him. It’s not even the same sadness I’ve been seeing for a few weeks. This is different. He’s carrying more weight around, like when we first were together and I didn’t know about his problems. ‘So what’s the naughty thing you wanted to show me?’ His gaze skims down my body and makes my skin feel like I’m on fire.
‘Yeah … sorry about that,’ I say with an exaggerated sigh. ‘Seth actually sent you that text.’
He chuck
les under his breath. ‘I was kind of wondering.’ He looks around at the trees and the parking lot. ‘Where is he?’
‘Oh, he left,’ I tell him as his eyes land back on me. He waits for me to explain so I step back and let him read my little snowflake note.
At first, he appears puzzled, and then he starts to laugh. ‘You two are so weird.’
‘Yeah, I know …’ I trail off, wishing I wasn’t nervous. ‘The thing starts at eight. We can go there or meet up because I know you have practice and stuff.’
He looks back up at me and places his hands on my hips. ‘I’d love to go with you, but we’ll have to meet there if that’s okay? I can’t miss practice or coach will fucking flip out.’
The anxiousness in me eases. ‘That’s perfectly okay. And thank you for going with me. And sorry about the weird note. Seth just thought since I never got to go to prom, this kind of thing would be fun, but not that I think about it. It’s kind of weird.’ I stop rambling. I don’t know why, but I feel stupidly high right now. It’s not like we haven’t been on dates before – we’ve been on a ton of them – but this time I’ll get to wear the dress I bought. If someone asked me a year ago if I ever thought I’d be excited about doing such a thing, I’d have told you no. But here I am, spreading my wings and flying all on my own.
He gives me a sympathetic look. ‘Callie, I’m so sorry … that you didn’t get to do that stuff.’
‘It’s not your fault. And besides, you’re helping me do that stuff now.’
‘Good. I’m glad it feels like I am.’ He gives me a sad smile, which I don’t like. He’s feeling sorry for me and I don’t want him to.
‘Kayden, it’s fine – I’m fine,’ I promise him. ‘What happened … it’s in the past and I’m working on moving on – moving forward.’
He looks even sadder, but I’m not sure if it has to do with me anymore. ‘Moving forward’s good.’ He clears his throat then shakes off whatever he’s feeling. ‘Do I have to dress up, though? For the party?’
I shake my head. ‘Not if you don’t want to.’
‘Are you going to?’
‘Yes.’
He momentarily considers something. ‘I’ll see what I can come up with.’
‘Seth wanted you to wear tights,’ I tell him, playfully pinching his side. ‘And be Peter Pan.’
He swiftly shakes his head. ‘No way in hell am I doing that.’
‘It’s okay,’ I assure him. ‘I didn’t want to be Tinkerbell anyway.’
He nudges my foot with his, his sad mood lightening. ‘What are you going to be?’
I wink at him, trying to be suave, but I think it comes off more awkward than anything, but his laugh makes it worth it. ‘It’s a surprise.’
His eyes search mine and I think he’s going to say something deeply profound, like maybe what’s got him all down, but then he decides against it. ‘You want to come inside? I have Doritos, Coke, and we can stream Netflix.’
‘Awe, you know the way to my heart.’ My grin breaks through and for a moment, everything feels perfect, if only Kayden could feel it, too. But the hint of sadness in his eyes tells me he doesn’t.
Chapter 6
#115 Share a Passionate Dorito/Coke Kiss.
Kayden
I am the shittiest boyfriend in the history of boyfriends. Seriously. Callie is always putting her heart out there for me and I can’t even tell her about the call I got from Dylan today. I don’t even know why I can’t just tell her about it. Or maybe I do. Maybe I know that Callie will make me talk about it because that’s the kind of person she is, and I just don’t want to talk about it.
After I agree to go to the party/concert with her, we go up to my room. I feel like the biggest douche after her whole statement about prom. I went to every one of mine, did all that stupid shit in high school that was supposed to mean something, but took it for granted. And here Callie is, trying to make up for everything she missed with a Halloween concert, one she asked me to go to. I need to start doing more things for her, making her feel more special, stop being such a shitty boyfriend.
Once we settle on my bed with my laptop in front of us, we pick a movie out, and then binge on snacks and drinks. My roommate is gone so we have the place to ourselves, which usually I’d take advantage of by exploring every inch of Callie’s body, but today my head’s in the weird place.
Callie must sense my distance too – of course she does – because about halfway through the movie, she moves out of my arms and pauses the screen. ‘Okay, what’s up?’ She grabs a handful of chips and dumps them into her mouth.
‘Nothing’s up,’ I lie, glad the lamp is the only light on so she can’t see my face clearly.
She takes a sip of her soda, eyeing me the entire time. ‘You know I can tell when you’re lying, right?’
I sit up on the bed and rest back against the headboard. ‘How?’
She leans over me to set the soda on the nightstand and I breathe in the scent of her hair, strawberries with a hint of vanilla. ‘Because your jaw twitches when you’re not being honest.’
My fingers absentmindedly travel to my jawline. ‘It does not.’
She bites on her lip to keep from grinning. ‘Does, too.’
I shake my head as I stretch out my legs. ‘Then why haven’t you mentioned it before?’
‘Because you’d try to control it and I wouldn’t have my little secret lie detector anymore,’ she says, hitching a leg over me and straddling my lap. ‘But I’m calling you out now because I want the truth.’ She puts her hands on my chest and lowers her body toward mine, looking me directly in the eye. ‘What’s bothering you?’
I’m overwhelmed by her nearness and the intensity in her eyes. Even after almost a year of being with her, it still gets under my skin in the best way possible. My head becomes foggy and I find myself divulging without even meaning to.
‘I got a call from Dylan today.’
Her legs tighten around me as her muscles tense. ‘I know he calls you sometimes, but by your tone … I’m guessing it might not have been a normal checking-in call.’
I nod, knowing I have to tell her what happened now; otherwise, I’d be really lying instead of just keeping things to myself. ‘It wasn’t. He called to tell me that …’ I clutch onto her hips because touching her makes everything easier. ‘That he found Tyler. Or, well, Tyler found him, I guess.’
‘What do you mean found? Where was he?’
I shrug. ‘Dylan’s not sure yet. Tyler’s high and I guess he’s been living on the street …’ I trail, still not sure if I believe that story.
‘What, you think he might have been living somewhere else and is lying?’ Callie asks, reading me like an open book.
I shrug again. ‘I’m not sure, but maybe.’ I don’t want to talk about this anymore and I think she can tell.
‘What can I do to make it better?’ She places her palm on my cheek and smoothes her thumb along my jawline.
My fingers slip under the bottom of her shirt and caress her soft flesh. ‘I can think of a few things.’
A gasp escapes her lips as my fingers drift up her shirt toward her breasts. It’s the little noises she makes every time we’re together that drive me crazier than anything else. They’re what end the moment quicker than I want to because I can’t keep myself under control. Just like now.
Tangling my fingers through her hair, I tip her head back and bring her in for a passionate Dorito/Coke-tasting kiss.
‘Kayden,’ she groans, her fingers tensing for the briefest moment on my chest, right where my heart is thudding. I know she can feel it, feel what she does to me, and I hope it lets her understand what she means to me.
As my fingers slide beneath her bra and graze her nipple, she instantly surrenders in my arms, opening her mouth and allowing me to deepen the kiss as she rolls her hips against mine. Now I’m the one who’s groaning, while tugging at her hair, nipping at her lips, biting her neck, licking her collarbone. I’m being a little bit rougher
with her than I normally am, but I’ll stop the moment she utters the word.
She never does, though, instead breaking the kiss to grab the bottom of my shirt and tug it over my head. Her fingers instantly find the scars on my chest and I struggle to breathe as she traces the rough and jagged patterns of each one. Her lips follow the path her fingers make, planting kisses on my skin. Callie knows where my scars came from, knows that some I did to myself while others my father gave me. I didn’t give her every gory detail of what happened, wanting to spare her the ugliness of them.
After Callie is done kissing pretty much every inch of my chest, she reclines back and lifts her arms above her head so I can remove her shirt. I love that she trusts me enough to do this, without so much as tensing anymore. Once her shirt comes off, I unclasp her bra and my mouth promptly encloses her nipple.
She lets out this gasp mixed with a delirious plea as her fingers slide through my hair, tugging at the roots, both pulling me and pushing me closer. Her legs clamp down on my sides and she rocks her hips again, causing a throaty groan to escape my mouth. I just about lose it, right then and there.
Not being able to stand the little amount of clothing left on our bodies any longer, I pull away from her, only to yank her jeans and panties off, and then she helps me with the button of my pants so I can take them off. She’s on the pill now, so I don’t have to get a condom out of my pocket like I used to, which is a really good thing because a lot of times we get so caught up in the moment we’d probably forget about protection.
After I discard my boxers, I cover her body with mine. She’s practically panting as she arches her hips and grabs at my ass so I can easily slide inside her, but I move almost painfully slow just to see that look on her face, the one I’ve seen many times, where her eyes glaze over and she gets lost, clutching onto my shoulder, stabbing at my flesh, holding onto me while she lets go. And there’s nothing left to do but join her, wishing this is how things could always be.