CHAPTER XXXIII
ONE-EYE FIGHTS
THOSE sounds of combat which penetrated to an anxious kitchen were deep,rasping breathings, muttered exclamations and grunts, a shuffling offeet that was not unlike a musicless dance, a swish-swishing, as if theItalian janitress were mopping up the hall floor, and a series of softpoundings.
Yet the battle itself was not amounting to much. In fact, to speakstrictly, no fight was going on at all.
In the first place, the hall was narrow, and gave small scope for acontest on broad, generous lines--even had One-Eye and Big Tom known howto wage such a bout; and both men knew little concerning the science ofself-defense. What happened--without any further abusive language--wasthis: the longshoreman and the cowboy (while using due caution againstcoming too close to the flimsy railing of the stairs) each set aboutthrowing his antagonist.
One-Eye sought to trip the longshoreman, but was unsuccessful, findingthose two massive pillars, Big Tom's legs, as securely fixed to therough flooring as if they were a part of the building itself. With histonglike arms, Barber pressed down with all his might on the shouldersof the Westerner; and that moment in which One-Eye weakened the firmnessof his own stand by thrusting out a boot to dislodge his enemy, thelongshoreman had his chance; with a smothered voicing of his disgust(for One-Eye wished to make as little noise as possible in thatsemi-public place), down went the cowboy to his knees.
Several brunette heads were thrust out of doors above and below.Melodious Italian voices exclaimed and questioned and replied, minglingwith cries in Yiddish and East Side English. All the while One-Eyeclasped Big Tom about the legs, and held on grimly, and received, oneither side of his weather-beaten countenance, a score of hard slaps.
These were skull-jarring, and not to be endured. So One-Eye thrust hishead between Big Tom's spraddled legs; then, calling upon every atom ofhis strength, he forced his shoulders to follow his head, loosening thelongshoreman's clutch; and with a grunt, down came the giant, fallingupon the cowboy (which accounted for another grunt), and pinning him tothe dusty floor.
Sprawled, as it were, head and tail, a contest for upper place nowbegan. One-Eye writhed like a hairy animal (this the swish-swishing).Being both slender and agile, he managed to wriggle out from beneath BigTom, who instantly turned about and caught him, and once more laid uponhim the whole of his great, steel-constructed bulk.
The pair strained and rolled. After several changes of position, inwhich neither man was at all damaged except in his appearance, Barbercame to the top and stayed there, like the largest potato in a basket.Then straddling the lighter man, who was blowing hoarsely, Big Tomcuffed him leisurely.
As Father Pat listened to all this, leaned against the door with his earcocked, he hoped with all his heart for the triumph of right over might."And I can but stand by t' give consolation and bear witness!" hemourned, though how he was bearing witness was not apparent.
"Oh, stop them! Stop them!" pleaded Cis, a hand over each ear, for hercourage was lessening. "Oh, I'm afraid he's hurting One-Eye awful! Oh,Barber'll kill him, Father! And what good'll that do _us_?"
Thus implored, the priest took a swift survey of the hall. But, "Oh,don't go!" Cis begged. "And shut it! Shut it!"
"Who's on top?" Johnnie wanted to know.
"They're wrastlin'," announced the Father. "So don't be alarmed. And Mr.Gamboni's out there, and he'll not see bloodshed!"
"_I_ don't worry!" boasted Johnnie. "Cis, what makes y' talk the way y'do? Barber, _he_ can't lick a _cowboy_!"
"Y' pesky critter!"--this from the hall, in unmistakable westernese.
"Y' hear?" joyously demanded Johnnie, recognizing One-Eye's voice. "Y'hear, Father Pat? Oh, I don't have t' look! I know how it's goin'! I can_see_ it! One-Eye's got him down! He's hammerin' him good!--Oh, go forhim, One-Eye! Go for him! _Go_ for him!"
Slap! slap! slap!
To judge from these sounds, the cowboy was carrying out Johnnie's wish.So with that rapt look, and that moving of the nostrils which betokenedexcited day-dreaming, Johnnie gladdened himself with a soul-satisfyingpicture of the contest: Big Tom prone on his face, spent, helpless,cowering, pleading, bleeding, while the dashing One-Eye rained blowafter blow upon him--bing! bing! bing! ("Makin' a meal outen him," asthe man from the West would say). Next, he saw the longshoremanstretched upon a bed of pain, admitting all of his shortcomings toFather Pat in weak whispers.
It was all so real to Johnnie that he fell to pitying Big Tom!
He pitied him more as the scene changed swiftly to that of a funeral(Barber's, of course), at which he--Johnnie--in a new suit, with Cisbeside him, made one carriageful in an extended line of carriages, allrolling circumspectly along. That One-Eye's plight, under suchcircumstances, might be trying, to say the least, Johnnie forgot toconsider, wholly passing over the small matter of an inquiry on the partof the police authorities! What he did anticipate, however, was a flatthat, in the future, would be a peaceful, happy, quiet place--the homeof just Grandpa, Cis, and himself.
"Oh, Father Pat, by now One-Eye's dead!" wailed Cis. "Oh, why didn'tsome one stop them! Oh! Oh, dear!"
This interruption to Johnnie's visioning was followed by a loud laugh,and the turning of the hall doorknob. Johnnie raised himself on anelbow, lifting a hopeful face. "One-Eye!" he cried. "Hooray! Hooray!"
But it was Barber who strode into the room.
He was grinning from one huge, outstanding ear to the other. "Ha! ha!ha! ha! ha!" he chortled triumphantly. "Guess I'll have t' go t' theHospital! Look how I'm all beat up! Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!"
As he stood laughing, his bristling face split across by the brown linethat was his teeth, his bulging eyes shut with merriment, his wide, fatnose giving its sidewise jerk with each guffaw, Johnnie, staring up athim, thought of the terrible African magician: of the murderous, cruelMagua: of wicked Tom Watkins and all the man-eating savages whom thevaliant Crusoe fought.
Here was a man worse than them all! Also--there was no doubt of it--herewas the victor!
But what about One-Eye?
"One-Eye!" wailed Johnnie, in terror. For suddenly his imaginationfurnished him with a new picture, this time of the Westerner. And, oh,it was a sadly different picture from that other! It showed the cowboy,torn, broken, beaten, stretched dead in his own lifeblood.
"Oh, _Dio mio!_--Oy! oy! oy! oy! oy!--He oughta be pinched!"
The opening door let in this much of the heated opinion of a portion ofthe building. The opening door also admitted the cowboy. Slowly,soberly, almost crawling, he came.
He was mournfully changed. That single eye was puffing redly. Hisstraw-colored hair was almost dark with sweat, and inclined to lie down.From either shoulder hung woefully a half of his vest, which had rippedstraight down its back! And, yes, there was blood in evidence!--on theknuckles of both hands! This bright decoration was from a nose whichdripped scarlet spots upon the front sections of the vest.
"Oh, One-Eye!" moaned Cis, yet not without relief. At least he wasalive--could stand--could walk!
"Goodness!" Johnnie's exclamation had in it a note of pure chagrin. Hiscowboy had not won! "What did he do t' y'?" the boy wanted to know,almost blamefully.
"Do?" repeated the cowboy, wrathfully. "Say! He went and busted myfountain pen!" He began feeling his way toward the stove. When he got asfar as the mattress, he first hunted his handkerchief and applied it tothe stopping of that nasal stream, then, grunting painfully, he laydown.
"Git all y' wanted?" inquired the longshoreman.
"My land!" returned the Westerner. "I got a hay-wagonful!"
"Man dear!" gasped Father Pat, making for the wash basin.
Johnnie felt suddenly heartsick. Would not the tale of One-Eye's defeatscatter in the neighborhood? and if it did, would not his own proudposition be threatened along with the cowboy's? Whipped by Tom Barber!That was all right for a kid! But for a man who wore hair on hisbreeches----!
The boy sank back in the morris chair. "I'd sooner Big Tom'd whip _me_again
!" he declared under his breath.
Barber was mocking One-Eye. "Yes, man dear!" he said. "Heaven didn'tmake y'r arm as strong as y' wanted it, eh?" He was very cocky, andpushed out either cheek importantly with his tongue.
Father Pat was now washing a rapidly closing eye on a sadly batteredcountenance. "Shure, Heaven'll deal with ye in its own good time!" hepromised, nodding a portentous head.
Big Tom snorted. "He's been waitin' and waitin'," he observed; "--eversince he first met me. That's why he give me such a hidin'!"
One-Eye, the stains of carnage wiped from lip and chin, peered upthrough a tiny slit between those puffing lids. "Big as a barn," heasserted, but without temper. "Big as a Poland Chinee pig! All beef! Allfat!" And to Johnnie, sunk in his quilt, "Don't y' beller, sonny, _I_ain't got no grunt comin'. I done my best. But he's stronger'n me,that's all they is _to_ it, and heftier. But it all goes to show that if_I_ ain't no match for him, he's lower'n a sheep-eatin' greaser t' gohit a kid--'r a _girl_!" Before that eye slit closed, he crawled towhere his hat, coat and gauntlets were, took them up, and fell towarping them into shape again. "But y'r time'll come, sonny!" he vowed."Y'r time'll come! Jes' y' wait!"
"Well, I didn't keep you waitin'," bragged Barber, with another loudlaugh. "And if there's anybody else--" His look sought the priest. "Why,say! You're a fighter, ain't y', Father Pat? Wasn't y' in the trenches?I wonder y' don't lick me y'reself. Ho! ha! ha! ha! ha!"
At that, the red anger spread itself among the stubble of the same hueon the Father's still unshaved jaws. "No," he answered grimly, speakingwith the thicker brogue that always came into his English along with hiswrath. "No, Oi can't give ye the dustin' that's comin' t' ye, Barber."
"It'll take a man t' lick me," declared the longshoreman proudly. Hethumped his chest. "Yes, sir, a reg'lar-sized man! Now, Furman, he saysthat, barrin' the World Champion, 'r some guy like that, there ain't aman standin' on two feet in this whole country that can down me!" Hethrust out his lower lip.
"Ha-a-a-a!" breathed the priest, scornful. He helped guide One-Eye tothe kitchen chair. "Well, the man Oi once was, Oi presinted him t' mecounthry. So here's what's left av me. But, Barber, punishment's comin't' ye! Mar-rk me wor-r-rd!"
Suddenly Big Tom gave a shout. "Say!" he cried. "Maybe _here's_ a gentthat'd like t' try his hand at lickin' me!" For the hall door had openedagain, and another visitor was entering--breathlessly, anxiously,swiftly. "What'd d' y' say, Mister Eye-Glassy, White-Spatty,Pinky-Face?"
"Yes, sir! I'll try to do just that! In fact, that's why I've come.Can't have you strike a girl, you know, Mr. Barber, or a little chaplike Johnnie; not without trying to punish you. So if you'll obligeme----"
Thus, with one wave of a gloved hand, was Big Tom once more bidden tofight, this time by Mr. Perkins.
"_Oblige?_" repeated the longshoreman, delighted. "Dear Mister Perkins,y're one person that I'm jus' achin' t' spank!" Then once more showinghis pipe-stained teeth in a grin, "Oh, but I hate awful t' muss y' up! Ihate t' spoil y', Perksie! Y' look so nice and neat and sweet! Almostlike a stick o' candy! And, nobody'll want t' look at y' after I gitdone with y'!"
Mr. Perkins was not ruffled by the longshoreman's attempt at humor."Don't waste your breath on compliments, Mr. Barber," he advised; "youmay need it." He laid a new, black bowler hat on the kitchen table, andproceeded to draw off his gloves.
"God grant he will!" cried Father Pat, fervently. "For besides what he'sdone to these children, look how he's treated our poor friend fromKansas!" And the priest stepped from between the scoutmaster andOne-Eye.
The Westerner waved protesting hands. "Wy-o-ming!" he corrected, withmore than a shade of irritation. "Not Kansas! Wy-o-ming!" He held up acountenance that was now wholly--if temporarily--blind.
"Wyoming," repeated Father Pat, hastily. "And here's Mr. Perkins,One-Eye, and he's wishin' t' shake yer hand."
At that, out shot the cowboy's right. It was still bloody over theknuckles, the Father having confined his washing to One-Eye's face. "Put'er there!" invited the sightless one.
"How are you!" greeted Mr. Perkins, heartily; yet his tone carried withit just the right amount of sympathy.
"Jes' so-so," answered One-Eye. "Look how he slapped me in the eye!"
"Cis, my sweetheart, are you all right?" inquired Mr. Perkins.
She ran to him, and he took her hands. "Oh, yes!" she cried happily."But, oh, I'm so glad you've come!"
As Father Pat said afterward, it was the sweetheart that did it. Asthose young hands met, of a sudden Barber's good humor went. "That'lldo!" he ordered. "Jus' y' shut up on them pretty names!"
"Ah! You don't believe in affection, do you?" rejoined Mr. Perkins. Hiscountenance wore an exasperating smile.
"I don't b'lieve in puppy love!" answered Big Tom. "I don't b'lieve inthe soft, calf stuff! And I'd jus' like t' know how it happens that youtwo guys 're here at this time in the mornin'! How does it come? _Someone_ must 've fetched y'! And I'm _goin'_ t' know, 'r else I'm goin' t'break ev'ry last bone in y'r dude body!"
"Oh, my goodness!" quavered Johnnie. He turned and twisted in the bigchair. And he wished with all his might that he was having either a verybad think, or a torturing nightmare. Seeing this second friend come, hehad felt an awful sinking of the heart. If the Westerner, rough andready and leathery as he was, could not conquer Big Tom, what would theyoung scoutmaster be able to do?--and he so slender and light whencompared to the giant longshoreman! And now the latter was workinghimself into a rage! Johnnie, head thrust from the folds of the quilt,told himself that the whole world was coming to an end.
But Mr. Perkins did not seem to be disturbed by Barber's threats. "Fancythat!" he said calmly. "Every bone! But where will you take it, Mr.Barber?"
"Take what?" asked the longshoreman.
"Your whipping," answered Mr. Perkins; "--the good, sound, punching thatI'm going to give you." He began to get out of his coat.
A shout of laughter--from Big Tom, who next addressed the ceiling. "Oh,listen t' this cute baby boy!" he cried. "He thinks he can lick me!Me!--one o' the strongest men on the whole water front! One-Eye, tellhim how far _you_ got! Oh, save his life, One-Eye! Save his life!"
"Wisht I had a chunk o' fresh beefsteak fer this lamp!" declared thecowboy, too miserable to care about what was going forward.
"Well," continued Mr. Perkins, "if you're so certain on the score ofwhat you're going to do to me, Mr. Barber, then, of course, you'll bewilling to make a bargain with me. Yes?"
Barber was in fine spirits. "Go ahead! Course I'll bargain! Anything y'like! Git it out o' y'r system!" He sucked his teeth noisily.
"If I come out winner," began the scoutmaster, very deliberately, "thenI'm to have Narcissa for my wife--and you'll sign your consent. And weshall go at once--this morning--and be married."
"So that's y'r bargain, is it?" said Big Tom. "Well, I'll say this: _if_y' can lick me, which y' can't, then I'll make y' a present o' Cis----"
"Don't give away what isn't yours!" Cis interrupted sharply. "And pleaseunderstand, bargain or no bargain, that I'm leaving here this morning.If I can't marry Mr. Perkins without your consent, then I'll just waittill I can."
The longshoreman ignored her. "I stick by what I've jus' said, Perksie,"he went on, impudently. "BUT--if I lick _you_, and I'm goin' t', thenout y' trot, and down, and y' lose her! Y' understand?"
"I understand that I lose her until she is old enough to do as shechooses," amended Mr. Perkins.
"After t'day, y' don't see her again," insisted Big Tom, "till she'sgrowed up."
"I'll see him every day!" cried Cis. "Every day!--Don't agree to that,Algy! The marriage part, yes, because we can't help ourselves. But he'snot going to part us! I'm leaving, but wherever I am, I'm going to seeyou!"
The longshoreman turned toward her now, and his look was full of hate."I guess y'll do jus' about what I tell y' to," he said significantly."Algy's goin' t' be too sick t' look after y'."
Johnnie emitted a woeful little peep. "Oo-oo! Mi
ster Perkins!" hepleaded. "Couldn't y' put off fightin' till--till some other time?"
Johnnie's anxious demand amused Big Tom. It amused Cis, too, but for awholly different reason. As they laughed together, each challenged theother with angry eyes.
Johnnie, feeling fainter every moment, marveled as he stared at Cis.There was no question as to her perfect confidence regarding the outcomeof the fight. And he marveled even more when he looked at Mr. Perkins.The latter was cheerful--even gay! He forgot nothing. First, he shookhands with Father Pat; next with One-Eye. "Maybe you'd like to have meput you into a taxicab before this row starts," he said to the cowboy.
"Nope," was the answer. "I'm goin' t' stay fer the concert."
Mr. Perkins went to Cis, took her fingers in his, bent gallantly, andkissed them. "Wish me good luck!" he bade her.
"It won't be luck," she answered.
"Ain't his hands nice and clean!" mocked Barber. "Ain't his nailsshiny!" There was an ugly glitter in the bulging eyes once more. Amoment later, as he found himself close to Mr. Perkins (for the latterhad come to join him), he acted upon a sudden temptation. Reaching out,with an impudent grin he tweaked the younger man lightly by the nose.
Biff!
The blow was so sudden, so powerful and straight to its mark (which wasa jaw), that Big Tom's breath went--as his toes tipped up, and he beganto reel backward, fanning the air with both arms.
"Ha-a-a-a!" cried the priest. "No wonder ye stand t' yer feet, Johnnielad! Shure, that puts the faith into ye, don't it!"
Barber was against a wall, choking, spluttering. "You--you--you--!" hepanted. "The idear o' hittin' a man without warnin'!"
"I know," agreed Mr. Perkins, good-naturedly. "Also, the idea of pullinga man's nose without warning."
Now Big Tom was in the proper frame of mind for the fight. "You go ondownstairs!" he ordered. "And let me tell y' this: When I git done withy', they'll pick y' up on a quilt! Git that?--on a _quilt_!"
Mr. Perkins opened the hall door. "You lead the way downstairs," hesaid. "I trust you, Mr. Barber, but somehow I don't trust your feet."
Then the two went out, the longshoreman trembling with rage.