By the following day, Wednesday, my feelings of uneasiness had blossomed into a sense of foreboding. The feeling grew in me that things had gotten completely out of hand and were about to become worse, and that there was nothing I could do about it.
It wasn’t helped much by the bitter look Mrs. Olmstead gave me, as she departed to do her shopping or drinking or whatever she did with my money. Nor was I cheered by a brief bit of sharpness which I had with Manny when she called to make an appointment with me. We finally made one for that afternoon, but I was still feeling quite down and a little irritated when Kay showed her into my office around four o’clock.
As it turned out, she also was not feeling her best, a fact she admitted as soon as our opening pleasantries were over.
“I don’t want to argue with you, Britt,” she said. “But you look quite well. I think you’re probably in a lot better condition than I am. And as long as you’ve been going out anyway—it isn’t as if you were bedridden—I don’t see why you couldn’t have come to the office.”
“Wait a minute,” I said. “Hold it right there. Regardless of how well I look or don’t look, I’m under strict orders not to leave the house.”
“But I called here several times when you were out. At last Mrs. Olmstead told me you were. Of course…” Manny paused, frowning. “Of course, that could have been her way of saying that you just didn’t want to talk to me…”
“There’d never be a time when I didn’t want to talk to you. You should know that.”
“I know. But…” she hesitated again. “Perhaps it wasn’t Mrs. Olmstead. I thought it was, and she said it was but—Do you suppose it could have been what’s-her-name, your nurse?”
“I’ll find out,” I said. “I know they’ve been feuding, and they just might have—one of them might have—tried to drag me into the quarrel.” I pondered the matter a moment, then sighed and threw up my hands. “Hell, I’ll never find out. Both of them are entirely capable of lying.”
“Poor Britt.” Manny laughed softly. “Well, it doesn’t matter, dear. It doesn’t bother me now that I know you haven’t been going out at all.”
“I haven’t been. That’s the truth, Manny.”
“I believe you.”
“The only time I’ve left the house was when I walked to your car with you last Friday.”
“Well…” She smiled at me, her golden head tilted to one side. “Since it’s been so long, maybe you should walk to my car with me again today.”
“Well…”
“Well?” Her smiled faded, began to draw in around the edges. “You’re afraid to, is that it? You still don’t trust me.”
“I haven’t said that,” I said. “You gave me your word that I had nothing more to fear from you, and I’m more than anxious to believe you. I could probably say something more positive if I wasn’t a little bewildered.”
“Yes? About what?”
“About your visit here this afternoon. I thought you were here to discuss my manuscript. But we’ve talked about practically nothing except my mishandled telephone calls and my walking to your car with you.”
Manny’s expression cleared, and she apologized hastily. “I’m sorry, dear. You have every right to be puzzled. But I like the manuscript better than ever, and Pat thinks it’s a fine job, too. He agrees that you should make a book out of it, and there won’t be any problem about the money. We’ll call it square for the right to do a digest.”
“That’s very generous of you,” I said, “and I’m very grateful.”
“We consider it a privilege to be associated with the project. I just wish I could be here to see it through to the end—not that you need my help, of course. But I can’t be. Th-that’s w-why?”—she averted her head suddenly. “That’s why I made such a big thing of being outside the house with you. Even for a little while.”
“I don’t understand,” I said. “What do you mean you can’t be here until the work is finished?”
“I mean, this is the last time I’ll see you. I’m leaving the company, and going back east.”
“B-but—” I stared at her, stunned. “But, why?”
“I’m getting married.”
I continued to stare at her. I shook my head incredulously, unable to believe what I had heard.
“You’re the only person I’ve told, so please keep it to yourself. I don’t want anyone else to know just yet.”
Married! My Manny getting married?
“But you can’t!” I suddenly exploded. “I won’t let you!”
“Oh?” She smiled at me sadly. “Why not, Britt?”
“Well, all right,” I said doggedly. “I can’t marry you. Not now, anyway. Maybe never. But why the big hurry? We’d got everything straightened out between us, and I thought that—that—”
“That we could pick up where we left off? I’d’ve been willing to settle for that, at least until something better could be worked out. But it just isn’t possible.” She stood up and held out her hand. “Good-bye and good luck, Britt.”
“Wait a minute.” I also stood up, and I took her hand and held onto it. “Who is this guy anyway?”
“You wouldn’t know him. I knew him in the east a long time ago.”
“But why are you suddenly rushing into marriage with him?”
“Why do you think I’m rushing? But never mind. It’s settled, Britt, so please let go of my hand.”
I let go of it.
She turned toward the door, and I started to accompany her. But she gestured for me to remain where I was.
“I’m afraid I’m pretty stupid darling. It’s the police who’ve ordered you to stay in the house, isn’t it? And your nurse is one of them?”
“Yes,” I said. “To both questions.”
“That’s what Pat figured. He remembered her from somewhere, and it finally dawned on him that he’d seen her in uniform.”
“All right, “I said. “She’s a cop, and I’m under orders not to leave the house. But I did it once, and since this is a pretty special occasion—the last time we’ll see each other—”
“No!” she said sharply. “You’ll stay inside as you’ve been told to!”
I said I’d at least walk to the front door with her, and I did. She held out her hand to me again, a firm little smile on her face, and I took it and pulled her into my arms. There was the briefest moment of resistance, then she came to me almost violently, as though swept on a wave of emotion. She embraced me, kissed me over and over, ran her soft, small hands through my hair.
And Kay Nolton cleared her throat noisily, and said, “Well, excuse me!”
Manny drew away from me, giving Kay an icy look. “How long were you watching us?” she demanded. “Or did you lose track of the time?”
“Never you mind, toots. I’m paid to watch people!”
“You should be paying,” said Manny. “You get so much fun out of it.”
And before Kay could come up with a retort, she was out of the house and slamming the door of the car. Kay said something obscene, then turned angrily on me. She said it was a darned good thing that Manny wasn’t coming back to the house, and that she, Kay, would snatch her bald-headed if she ever did.
I accused her of snooping, listening outside the door while Manny and I were talking. She said I was doggone right she’d been listening, and if I didn’t like it I could do the next best thing. I went into my office and closed the door, and at dinnertime she brought a tray to me, also bringing a cup of coffee for herself.
She sat down across from me, sipping from it, as I ate. I complimented her on the dinner, and made other small talk. In the midst of it, she broke in with a curt question.
“Why isn’t Miss Aloe coming here to the house any more, Britt? I know she isn’t, but I don’t know why.”
“You mean you missed part of our conversation?” I said.
“Answer me! I’ve got a right to know.”
I lifted the tray from my lap, and set it on a chair. I shook out my napki
n, and dropped it on top of the tray. Then I leaned back in my chair, and looked thoughtfully out the window.
“Well?” she said sullenly.
“I was just mulling over your remark,” I said, “about your having a right to know. I don’t feel that you have a right to know anything about my personal affairs. But I can see how you might, and I suppose it’s my fault that you do. So, to answer your question: Miss Aloe is giving up her position here, and going back east. That’s why I won’t be seeing her again.”
Kay said, Oh, in a rather timid tone. She said that she was sorry if she’d said or done anything that she shouldn’t have.
I shook my head, brushing off her statement. Not trusting myself to speak. I was suddenly overwhelmed by my sense of loss, the knowledge of how much Manny had meant to me. And I jumped up and went over to the window. Stood there staring out into the gathering dusk.
Behind me, I heard Kay getting up quietly. I heard her pick up the dinner tray and leave the room, softly clicking the door shut behind her.
Several minutes passed. Then, she knocked and came in again, carrying the phone on its long extension cord. She handed it to me and started to leave, but I motioned for her to remain. She did so, taking the chair she had occupied before.
“Britt?” It was Jeff Claggett. “How was your visit with Miss Aloe?”
“All right,” I said. “At least partly all right. She’s leaving town, and going back east. Yes, within the next day or so, I believe.”
“The hell!” He grunted with surprise. “Just like that, huh? She give you any reason?”
“Well”—I hesitated. “I don’t need to consult with her anymore. I’m going ahead with the work on my own.”
“Yes? Nothing else?”
“I couldn’t say,” I said carefully. “What else could there be, and what does it matter, anyway? I am sure that I have nothing more to fear from her. I’m positive of it, Jeff. And that’s all I’m concerned about.”
“So who said no?” He sounded amused. “Why so emphatic?”
“Let it go,” I said. “The point is that there’s no longer any reason to continue our present arrangement. If you’d like to make it official, Miss Nolton is right here and—”
“Hold it! Hold it, Britt!” Claggett snapped. “I think we can close things out there very soon. But you leave it to me to say when, okay?”
“Well, all right,” I said. “I think it would be better to—”
“Why guess about something when you can be sure? Why not wait until Miss Aloe actually leaves town?” He paused, then lowered his voice. “Nolton throwing her weight around? Is that it, Britt?”
“Well”—I sidled a glance at Kay. “I imagine it would be difficult to make a change, wouldn’t it?”
“It would.”
“All right, then,” I said. “I’ll manage.”
We hung up, and I passed the phone back to Kay. She took it silently, but at the door she turned and gave me a stricken look.
I faced around to my typewriter, and began pounding on the keys. And I kept at it until I was sure she had gone.
I had had about enough of Kay Nolton. What had started out as a pleasant giving, something that we could both enjoy, had wound up as an attempt to take me over.
I wasn’t ready to be taken over, and I never would be. Nor would I ever want to take anyone else over. Love isn’t tantamount to ownership. Love is being part of someone else, while still remaining yourself.
That was the way it had been with me and Manny. And now that she was gone from my life…
Well. Kay could not fill the space Manny had left. It was too great for any other to fill.
Kay left me alone that night. Which was just as well for her. I had discovered that confronting people when they insisted on it was not nearly so fearful as I had thought, and I was all ready to do it again.
The mood was with me the next day, and when Mrs. Olmstead appeared in my office doorway and announced that she needed more money to go shopping, I flatly refused to give her any.
“You’ve had far too much already,” I told her coldly. “You’ve constantly emptied that cash box in the telephone desk, and then come grumbling to me for more. You must have had over six hundred dollars in less than two weeks’ time. The best thing you can do now is to pack up your belongings and clear out.”
“That don’t make me mad none!” She glared at me defiantly. “You just pay me my wages, an’ I’ll be out of here faster’n you can say scat!”
“I don’t have to pay you,” I said. “You’ve already paid yourself several times over.”
If she had given me any kind of argument, I probably would have relented. But surprisingly she didn’t argue at all. Oh, she did a little under-the-breath cursing on her way out of my office. In no more than ten minutes, however, she was packed and gone from the house.
Kay, who had been standing by during the proceedings, declared that I had done exactly the right thing. “You should have done it long ago, Britt. You were far too patient with that woman.”
“I’ve been that way with a lot of people,” I said. “But it’s a fault I’m going to correct.”
She dropped her eyes, toeing-in with one white-shod foot. A slow blush spreading up her cheeks to blend with the auburn of her hair. It was all beautifully calculated. I have never seen such control. She was saying, as clearly as if she had spoken, that she had been a naughty-naughty girl and she was truly sorry for it.
“Will you forgive your naughty girl, Britt?” She spoke in a cute-child’s voice. “She’s awfully sorry, and she promises never to be naughty again.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “Forget it.”
“Why, of course, it matters. But I’ll be good from now on, honey. I swear I’ll—”
“I don’t care whether you are or not,” I said. “I can hang by my thumbs a few days if I have to. If it takes any longer than that to wrap things up here, and if I still need a cop-nurse, you won’t be her.”
She gave me no more argument than Mrs. Olmstead had. I was amazed at how easy it was to tell people off—without being very proud of it—although, admittedly, my experience was pretty limited.
I didn’t feel much like working; the thought of Manny, my Manny, being married to another was too much on my mind. But I worked, anyway, and I was still at it when Claggett arrived in mid-afternoon.
Manny was back in the hospital, he informed me. The same reputable hospital she had been in before with the same reputable doctors in attendance.
And, as before, she was in absolute seclusion, and no information about her condition or the nature of her illness was being given out.
26
I could probably get a court order and find out,” Claggett said. “If I could show any reason why it was necessary for me to know. But I can’t think what the hell it would be.”
“Probably there isn’t any,” I said. “Nothing sinister, I mean. She told me yesterday that she wasn’t feeling well. Possibly she got to feeling worse, and had to go to the hospital.”
“Possibly. But why so secretive about it?”
“Well…”
“Tell you something,” Claggett said. “Maybe I’m a little cynical, but I’ve never known anyone to pull a cover-up yet unless there was something to cover up.”
“That’s probably true. But this could hardly be called a cover-up, could it?”
“It’s close enough. And the one thing I’ve found that’s usually covered up with doctors is mental illness. It’s my guess,” said Claggett thoughtfully, “that Miss Aloe has had a nervous breakdown or something of the kind. The second one in less than a month. Either that or she’s pretending to. So that leaves us with a couple of questions.”
“Yes?” I said. “I mean, it does?”
“To take the last one first. If she’s pretending, why is she? And, secondly, if she’s actually had a nervous collapse, what brought it on?”
“I just hope she’s all right,” I said. “In any case, I
don’t see what her being in the hospital has to do with me.”
“Well, it could be just a coincidence, but the last time she was hospitalized you had a pretty bad accident.”
“It was a coincidence,” I said, and wondered why I suddenly felt so uncomfortable and uneasy. “I’m positive that she’s leveling with me, Jeff. I knew it when she wasn’t, and I know it now that she is.”
Claggett shrugged, and said that was good. He, himself, would never trust his own judgment where someone he loved was concerned. Because you could love someone who was completely no good and untrustworthy.
“But we’ll see,” he said, and stood up. “I have no basis for believing that she’s not on the level with you, but we shouldn’t be long in finding out.”
I walked to the door with him, wondering whether I should tell him about Manny’s impending marriage. But I had promised not to, and I could think of no reason why I should.
We shook hands, and he promised to keep me in touch. Then, just as he was leaving, he abruptly pulled me back from the door and moved back into the shadows himself.
I started to ask what was the matter, and he gestured me to silence. So we stood there tensely in silence, waiting. And then there was the sound of footsteps mounting to the porch and crossing to the door.
My view was obscured by Jeff Claggett, and the heavy shadows of the porch. But I could see a little, see that a man was standing with his face pressed against the screen to peer inside.
Apparently he also was having a problem in seeing, for he reached down to the door handle, pulled it open and stepped uncertainly across the threshold.
Claggett grabbed him in a bone-crushing bear hug, pinning his arms to his sides. The man let out a startled gasp.
“W-what’s going on here?”
“You tell me, you son-of-a-bitch!” rasped Claggett. “Let’s see how fast you can talk.”
“It’s all right, Jeff,” I said. “He’s my father-in-law.”
27
Connie’s letters to me had gone unanswered. When she telephoned, Mrs. Olmstead told her I had moved, and that she had no idea where I was. And for the last ten days or so, the phone had simply gone unanswered. Luther Bannerman had determined to find out just what was what (to borrow his expression). And he’d driven all the way here from the Midwest to do it.