makes me feel better. Makes me cram more. God helps those who help themselves."
That was Ray's dad's line.
"You ever pray about me?" Ray said.
She actually blushed. "How did you know that?" "Just wondering."
"Actually, I did. I wanted you from the minute I laid
eyes on you. I promised God a lot if I could have you." "No kidding?"
She nodded. "And she came through." Kitty had made herself laugh, but Ray chalked it up to too much alcohol for her little body.
"So what was your end of the bargain?"
"That I would keep myself in shape, never get fat, never embarrass you by being sloppy or dressing bad."
Ray couldn't even force himself to smile. He sat back and stared into the distance, barely aware of the raucous activity all around. No promise to go to church, be a better person, do something for the poor or the handicapped? Nothing like that? If God gave Kitty what she wanted--Ray himself--she promised to be more of what she already was, basically a self-possessed nothing.
She reached across the table and grasped his forearm.
"So, how'm I doing?"
"Hm ?"
"You think I'm keeping my end of the bargain?"
He nodded.
"What?" she said. "What?"
Maybe it was the booze, though he'd only had two beers and could usually handle that. But after all the worrying and praying and talking to himself over the last year, Ray had come to zero hour. He was about to tell the truth, and he dreaded how it was going to come
Tim LaHaye & Jerry B. Jenkins
out. Worse, he could imaginethe fallout. Kitty would be hysterical.
Was this the place to do it, to say it?
"What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" she said. "You proud of me? proud to be with me, to be iseen with me? Am I doing what I promised God I would
o? What do you think?"
Ray imagined himself saying, "Frankly, my dear, that
be the dumbest thing I have ever heard."
But he would regret it the next day. He would blame it on the beer, apologize, convince her he didn't mean it, take it back, and ask her to marry him. That made him sick to his stomach.
"Talk to me, Ray," she said. "You're scaring me."
, "What?"
"I need you to tell me how I'm doing."
"How you're doing?" he said, loathing himself. "Who
do better than you?"
It was a nonanswer, a skate, but of course she had what she wanted to hear. "You love me, don't you she said, telling rather than asking.
And feeling like the world's greatest liar, Ray reached her and pulled her toward him across the table.
With all my heart," he said.
Irene showed up at ROTC drills one afternoon
makeup, Ray was thrown. She actually looked in her own way. She had to know she would abuse from the commander--which she did, but in the form of teasing about having a date or a
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boyfriend. She ignored it all with a smirk. Strong, Ray thought.
That day he turned the tables on her. As they chatted in the lounge, without asking he delivered her favorite refreshment: coffee, black with extra sugar. "So what's
this all about?" he said, circling his own face with a finger. "You like it?"
"Quit sounding like Kitty. It looks nice."
"Good. I'm trying to impress someone."
Ray caught his breath in spite of himself. Was it possible she was referring to him? And why did he care? He didn't see her in that light. Anyway, he was deeply committed to Kitty. At least he was supposed to be. If anyone knew better, it was Irene.
"I'll bite," he said, not sounding as casual as he had
hoped. "Who's the lucky fella?" "You know him," she said. "Do I?" She nodded.
"I have to guess?" he said. "Twenty questions." "Here on campus?" "Yes." "ROTC?" "Uh-huh."
"How well do I know him?"
"That's not a yes or no question," she said.
"Do I know him well?"
She smiled, shrugging. "Well enough. His name will be immediately recognizable."
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Tim LaHaye & Jerry B. Jenkins
"I'm drawing a blank."
"No you're not. This isn't that big of a ROTC.
You know everybody."
"Janie?" he said.
She laughed. "Right, I'm gay."
"I know better than that," he said.
"Do you? How?"
"I danced with you, remember?"
She squinted at him. "That didn't persuade me you
straight. What did I do to convince you?"
Well, she had been awkward, and they hadn't seemed to connect. Nah. She was pulling his leg.
"So I was right? Janie? She's got a bit of a masculine
thing going."
"Don't all female ROTCs? I get that all the time. No, not Janie. So you don't have to waste a question-- not gay and you know it."
He knew what would get a laugh out of her. "Com-
Olsson!" he said. "You've got a thing for the Am I right or am I right? It's you and Bodil
out tonight."
"How'd you know?"
Very funny. He had to be twice her age, but it was he was single. For the third time. To Ray's shock, the color in Irene's cheeks said he was at least
"But he teased you about the makeup!"
"Pretty good cover, don't you think?"
"Is it Olsson really?"
She nodded. "He asked and I accepted."
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"Where are you going? What are you doing?" "What are you, my mother? A movie and dinner." Ray shook his head. That rascal Olsson. Who would have guessed? There had to be some regulation against this.
"You're seriously interested in him?" he said.
"How would I know? He's apparently interested in me."
TWENTY-TWO
Rayford TOLD HIMSELF that his obsession with Irene's date with
Commander Bodil Olsson was purely because he protective of a friend. Irene was like a sister, and he didn't want to see her hurt. Olsson was an upstanding
though he had a history of bad marriages--two Ray
knew about. And he was, literally, twice Irene's age. He had no business with her, and vice versa.
Compared to Kitty Wyley and her silk, Irene was plain.
T had to admit she looked good with makeup, and she trim and athletic. Smart. Funny. Warm. She did not, as far as he could tell, date as a rule. She had never mentioned
anyone else, not even from high school, and he had never seen her with a guy in a formal situation.
grief, she was probably a virgin. No wonder the thing was susceptible to an older man's attention. But what did Ray care? Couldn't he just be happy for
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her? She was too smart to get serious with a man old enough to be her father. Anyway, what if she did? She was an adult. She could make her own decisions.
It didn't sound like her, for one thing. In all their talks and all the counsel she had offered him, he had not detected a proclivity for making a mistake like this. On the other hand, why did he have to assume it was such a mistake? Maybe both those wives of Olsson's had been shrews, and he had just been unlucky. Maybe he deserved a quality woman like Irene.
What was Ray thinking? That one date was going to lead to marriage? He was driving himself nuts with this, and he didn't even know why. Ray had an hour before he was supposed to pick up Kitty, so he surfed the Internet until he found regulations for dating between ROTC commanders and plebes. There was a technicality. Irene was not officially signed up as a scholarship student, committed to going on to military school. That made her a civilian and provided the loophole. Apparently the military could not tell Olssonmand especially Irene--what they could do on their own time.
The whole thing preoccupied Ray and later apparently .made him seem distant to Kitty. She kept asking what was wrong, so he finally told her.
"Dowdy Irene?" she said. "Well, hey, good for her, you know?"
"No, I don't. How do we know it's good for her to be seeing an old guy like that?"
"Who else is she going to see, Ray? I mean, come on. Her name alone would turn most guys off."
"Like she had any control over that. It's some kind of family name, and she doesn't seem bothered by it."
"Please," Kitty said. "If I was stuck with a moniker like that, I'd have changed it in the driveway before I left for college."
"Apparently so, Katherine."
"Well, I changed that long ago. Katherine was old-fashioned the day I was born, but Irene? That's been lout since my grandparents' days. A woman can decide what she wants to be called."
"She must be okay with Irene," Ray said.
"Well, like I say, good for her."
Ray still wasn't so sure, precisely because Kitty on the other side of this. Anything that looked from her perspective had problems written all over it.
' Kitty rushed ahead of him as they walked and turned face him, walking backward. "You know what I want to do tonight, Ray?"
"Pray tell." "Look at rings." "You do?"
"Can we, please?"
He shrugged. "Why not?"
Actually, Ray could think of a lot of reasons why not. He had not asked her to marry him yet, and with each
day he was less sure he wanted to. Kitty had a of getting her way, and here was the first step on slippery slope.
"Oh, thank you!" she said, rejoining him and wrapping
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one of his arms in hers. "I have several you can choose from, and they all match my dress."
"Your dress? You have a dress already?"
"Well, no, but ordered."
"You've ordered your wedding dress?"
"I didn't want to lose it. I saw it in a magazine and knew I had to have it. All my bridesmaids agree it's perfect."
"Your bridesmaids?"
"Well, I know who they'll be. I haven't told them all yet, but--"
"And do you have a date picked out too?"
"Well, we're thinking about next summer, aren't we?" "Apparently you are."
"Oh, Ray, don't be this way! Let's enjoy this. It's the most special time of our lives."
Yours maybe.
They got to a small, exclusive jewelry store in West Lafayette, and the assistant manager--who insisted Ray call him Billy--greeted Kitty by name. That couldn't be good.
"You're right that marquises are making a comeback," Billy said, sliding out a case of selections. "Notice how these complement the picture you showed me."
Ray glared at her. This stranger had seen the picture of her wedding dress? Kitty quickly pulled a folded picture from her purse and spread it on the counter for Ray. He had to admit it was gorgeous and would look perfect on her. He could not believe the price, and she must have sensed it. "My dads are splitting the costs," she said.
Tim LaHaye & Jerry B. Jenkins
The marquise selections were monstrous, with prices to match. The least expensive ring was more than three times what Ray expected to pay, if and when he ever made such
commitment. He tried to hide his discomfort, but Kitty . could apparently read his quietness. "Nothing would he me happier than this one," she said, slipping on a -and-a-half-carat stone.
It was all Ray could do to keep from swearing. "That's
my starting salary if I got a job flying jumbo jets
tomorrow," he said. "And we both know I'm a few years from that."
"Oh, Ray! We can make it work. This is important to me. Please, sugar bear?"
. Sugar bear? Sugar daddy was more like it. There was a chance.
: "Let me see something in more of this price range,"
said, surreptitiously jotting down a figure and handing it to Billy.
Kitty leaned to see it, but Ray pulled her away. "You're
Not supposed to know," he said.
The assistant manager raised his eyebrows and quickly the display cases. "I may have something in the But probably not in a marquise."
"Make sure it's a marquise," Ray said. "Even if you
have to order it."
Kitty was already turning colors. She pulled her hand
Ray's arm and jammed it in her pocket, moving the watch case and busying herself there. "I'm
not going to be happy with something other than what [showed you," she said.
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"Something less, you mean."
"Well, yeah. You wouldn't want to embarrass me, would you?"
Embarrassing her was sounding better all the time. Billy took so long in the back that Ray took it as a statement. No way it would take that much time to find a more reasonably priced ring.
Billy finally emerged with one ring to show. It still looked large to Ray, but it was slightly less than a carat. Billy seemed to be trying to put the best face on it, but he was clearly repulsed. "It's actually a high-quality stone," he said, "for its size."
"It's beautiful," Ray said. "Kitty, look."
"In a minute," she said.
Billy filled time by polishing the ring until Kitty moseyed over, obviously wary. He held it under the light, but she did not reach for it. "The band isn't the right color anyway," she said.
"We could easily reset it," Billy said.
"No doubt. It's cute; I'll say that. But it won't do." Ray couldn't control himself. This time he did swear. Kitty turned her back and pretended to study another display case.
"All right then," Billy said. "Why don't you two talk it over and tell me what you'd like. I can order other pieces, design something just for you, match something you see in a catalog, whatever."
"You have the ring I want," Kitty said, "and Ray knows what it is."
"I sure do."
"We do have creative payment plans," Billy said, "and can find ways to work with virtually any budget. Let show you, with no obligation." "No, I don't thinkm"
"No obligation, Ray!" Kitty said. "What could be the
At least hear him out. Maybe he can make it easy to make me happy."
That'll be the day. But Ray didn't want to appear
unreasonable.
"This'll just take a moment," Billy said, and he
Ray to a chair. As they sat, Kitty stood behind and massaged his shoulders. No pressure there. produced a laminated chart and ran his finger
Down a column, stopping at the retail price of the ring.
can see your way clear to putting 10 percent
which we can take via credit cardmbut we would to tack on a fee, so you might want to do that by would be your monthly payments for six
Ray shook his head and heard Kitty sigh.
* larger down payment," Billy said, "say 20 percent, would result in this monthly figure."
"Still beyond me," Ray said.
"You don't know that!" Kitty said. "You can come up with that. Your dad would lend it to you. My dad
Even my stepdad, if necessary. And then with a sacrifice, cutting out a few things every month--" "Yeah, like a car payment."
this would be hard only until you got the job you wanted."
310 i 311
"Even 5 percent down would let you take the ring with you tonight," Billy said.
"No, I--"
"Really?! Oh, Ray! If I could show this to the girls tonight, it would be the happiest moment of my life!"
Billy smiled. "Write me a check for 5 percent.
We run your card through and set it up to trigger another 15 percent sixty days from now--you'd have no payments until thirty days after that--and then you begin paying monthly. Doesn't get any easier than that."
"Oh, Ray! I can't tell you how much this would mean to me!" She leaned close and whispered in his ear, "But I'll try to show you later."
I know exactly how much it would mean to me, Ray thought. And it was way too much.
It was nine o'clock and incongruously, Ray found himself thinking about Irene and her date. "I'm not prepar
ed to make this transaction tonight," he said.
Kitty's hands went limp on his shoulders, and he felt them slide off as she pulled away. Terrific.
Billy put the chart in a drawer and said, "Certainly, sir. Just know we're here to serve your needs whenever you are ready."
"How late are you open?" Kitty said.
"I'll be here until ten. Listen, if knocking the down payment to 4 percent would help get it done, I could make that happen. The card would then be dinged for 16 percent in two months."
"That's not it," Ray began. "I'll--"
Tim LaHaye & Jerry 13. Jenkins
"Ray, 4 percent! That's nothing." "Not tonight." Kitty stormed out.
"Sorry," Ray said.
"Not a problem," Billy said. "At least you know the price of making her happy." Truer words were never
spoken. "I suspect you'll be back."
Don't count on it.
When Ray got outside, Kitty was halfway down the block. He thought about calling after her, running to
Catch up, but why? She was dramatic, if nothing else. In spite of himself, he began to feel like a heel. He didn't
Want to hurt her, to disappoint her. She plopped onto the bench at the corner and buried her face in her hands.
told himself not to cater to her.
When he arrived, she was weeping quietly. He sat to her and thought he heard her hold her breath, :as if to hear whether he had anything to say for himself.
He didn't. He put a hand on her shoulder until she away.
"So the only thing that's going to make you happy is ring; is that it?" he said. He wanted to add, "Not Not knowing that I would be choosing you for my wife'" But he hadn't even proposed yet. The ring would
that moot.
"Yes," she said.
He shook his head. Unbelievable.
"Is it so much to ask, Ray? Did you not bring your wallet or what?"
"Of course I didn't. I don't carry it with me."
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"Well, I have mine."
"You want to buy your own ring?"
"You could pay me back! It's only 4 percent." "It's 4 percent of a lot." "Apparently I'm not worth it." He was beginning to think so.
"Let me write the check, Ray. Then you can pay me back and not have any payments for three months. And
if you need me to ask my dad or my stepdad--" "No! If we do this, I'll handle it." "Oh, Ray! I love you! I love you!" Yeab, it sounds like it.
"It'll be the greatest thing that ever happened to me!" Ray couldn't believe he was considering this. What was it about this girl that held such sway over him? She had put him in a position where what he did made all the difference in the world to her. He could make her happy with one, albeit expensive, word.