Trying to protect her aunt, Ja'Nil wedged herself between Aunt M'eer and the innkeeper. She assumed he would step back. He did - barely.
"I'll get the monies. Ahh, how much for a room?" she asked.
"She got fever. She ain't going in no room," he said.
"But the fever's from her wound. She's not contagious."
"Hows ya know?"
"Everyone knows."
"She can go in the stable. If ya got the price."
Ja'Nil finally found the pouch where Aunt M'eer kept her monies. "How much?" she asked.
"How much ya got?"
Ja'Nil clutched the money pouch to her chest, refusing to let the innkeeper inspect it.
"Najadẵ! You think I gonna rob from you?"
That was exactly what Ja'Nil thought.
The innkeeper gestured impatiently. "Give me six Queens."
"I could live for a week on six Queens!"
"Not in our inn, ya couldn't!" chimed in the woman.
" You don't want to pay, get outta here," said the man.
Where would she go? How could she take care of her awful aunt?
"No, no I didn't mean—we'll stay, but we need a healer."
"Gimme my monies."
Reluctantly, Ja'Nil counted out six Q's into the innkeeper's fat hand. His fingernails were cracked and dirty. What would Aunt M'eer say when she realized Ja'Nil had spent her monies?
"Take 'em to the stable, T'eem," ordered the innkeeper as he turned away. He and the woman were already squabbling over who should take charge of the money.
"The healer?" Ja'Nil called to his retreating back.
"Yeah, yeah."
"Come on," mumbled T'eem, still not looking directly at her. "I'll shows ya."
The stable, dusty and malodorous, looked in danger of falling down at any minute. The only other occupants were four of the large horses.
T'eem held Aunt M'eer in his big arms and waited for Ja'Nil to tell him where to put her.
"When was the last time this place was mucked out?" she muttered more to herself than to T'eem, but he seemed to feel she was criticizing him.
"They's always calling me away," he said in his soft rumble. "I never gets to finish one job, but they calls me."
As if to illustrate the point, they could hear the innkeeper bellowing. "T'eem, gets ya big ass out here."
Still holding Aunt M'eer, T'eem stood dithering. Should he drop his burden and run to see what the boss wanted, or stay and help Ja'Nil? His face was dark green with frustration. There were actual tears in his eyes. "What should I do?" he whispered.
Quickly, Ja'Nil checked out the stalls. The nearest one seemed marginally cleaner than the others. She grabbed up some dry straw and piled it into an untidy bed-shaped mound.
"He'll be mad you're using the straw."
For a second Ja'Nil hesitated, then shrugged. "I paid him," she said.
Carefully, T'eem laid Aunt M'eer down on the makeshift bed. "I gotta go," he said. "He'll be mad at me." He was trembling.
Ja'Nil reached out and grabbed at his arm. "A healer," she said.
T'eem stared down, mesmerized by her tan slim, long fingered hand resting on his sunburnt forearm.
"Please," she said.
He couldn't meet her eyes but he did nod his head.
"Thank you, T'eem."
"Yeah." And he was gone.
Aunt M'eer was quiescent, not a good sign. Ja'Nil checked twice to make sure that she was still breathing, and then decided to explore the barn. It didn't take long; there was a wide middle aisle with stalls on either side and a high ceiling with a loft that probably held more hay. Four of the stalls were occupied. All the occupants were badly in need of brushing, and their water buckets were growing green algae. The place stank to the heavens.
"How much rent is he charging you?" Ja'Nil asked one of the horses. The animal refused to be drawn into a discussion. He just snorted and withdrew his large head from her outstretched hand.
Ja'Nil checked Aunt M'eer again. The woman hadn't moved. Her skin was hot to the touch and her breathing seemed more labored. She was getting worse.
Where was the healer? Should she go up to the inn and demand a healer. Surely, there was one nearby. But what if there wasn't? What if…?
"She dying?" asked a slurred voice. Ja'Nil jumped a foot and whirled to face a very drunk, very dirty man wearing a prominently displayed yellow and green Healer's badge.
"You're a healer?"
He nodded and patted his badge, but he spoiled the effect by burping. Alcoholic fumes hung around him like a visible veil.
He leaned over her aunt and peered myopically down at the woman. "What she got?" he asked.
"You're the healer."
He nodded, "True."
"She has a fever, she was wounded in the shoulder, see." Impatiently Ja'Nil pointed to the rough bandage she had applied hours ago.
"Yes, I see." He nodded sagely. "That will be eh, two Queens."
"What?"
"I will treat her for two Queens."
"But the Crown pays healers. Everyone knows that."
He rocked back on his heels, wiped his nose with his sleeve, and gazed benignly at her. "Two Queens," he repeated.
Ja'Nil dug out two Queens from Aunt M'eer's money pouch and gave it to him.
He blinked, owl-like as he carefully examined the money. Then he dug into one of the numerous pockets in his grungy tunic and brought forth a small gray stone bottle sealed with a cork.
"Give her two swallows of this and all the water she will drink. When First sun is at height, give her two more swallows and more water. When Little'un is at height, give her the rest. Thus, will she be cured of her afflictions."
Ja'Nil put the bottle to her ear and shook it slightly. Something fluid inside sloshed thickly. She pried out the cork and sniffed at it. The smell alone could kill you.
"Are you sure this will work? What is it?" When she looked up the healer was walking away. "Wait! What about her wound? Aren't you going to dress it?"
The healer never stopped walking and he never looked back.
Ja'Nil sniffed at the medicine again. Dare she give something that smelled so foul to the sick woman? But what if she didn't and Aunt M'eer died? "What if I do and she still dies?" she asked looking up at the heavens. The heavens were silent, but Aunt M'eer was not. When Ja'Nil gingerly supported her aunt's head and brought the stone bottle to her mouth, the odor had a galvanizing effect on the sick woman.
"What in the Seven Hells?"
"You're alive! I mean, you're awake!"
Her aunt pushed feebly at the bottle. "Get away from me."
"It's medicine. The healer said… "
"Where?" Aunt M'eer looked wildly around.
"Please just try to take a swallow?" Ja'Nil begged her aunt as she brought the bottle up to her aunt's mouth again.
"Who are you?"
"Me? I'm Ja'Nil."
"Where's Chou?"
"She's dead. Don't you remember?"
"Dead?"
Ja'Nil took the opportunity to pour some of the medicine into her aunt's mouth: who promptly spit it out. Most of it went all over Ja'Nil. The small amount that did go down made the sick woman gag. Ja'Nil gagged, too. It smelled like essence of skunk piss.
Either the medicine was effective or the smell was strong enough to wake the dead. Aunt M'eer looked around her dazedly. "You said a healer?"
"He's gone now."
"Are we in Cordia?"
"No, ma'am?"
"Where are we?"
"At the inn."
"What inn? What are you talking about? We have to get to Cordia."
"Yes, ma'am. As soon as you're better."
"I'm not going to get better, you fool. I'm dying." To illustrate her point, Aunt M'eer started coughing; horrible deep, gasping-for-air-coughs that rattled around in her chest and seemed to suck all the strength from her.
Ja'Nil watched helplessly. She didn't have a clue what to do. "Do you want some w
ater?"
Aunt M'eer continued to cough.
Ja'Nil found a cup hanging from the stall door. At the nearest bucket, she pushed the inquisitive horse aside, splashed away most of the algae floating on top and filled the cup. "The healer said you should drink lots of water," she said as she offered the cup to her gasping aunt.
Aunt M'eer shoved it aside. "Where's the healer?" she asked. Her voice was weak and she took long pauses between each word.
"He left."
"Did you tell him our village needs a healer?" Aunt M'eer asked between gasps.
"Ah, no."
"No!"
"I don't think he's the kind of healer the village wants," said Ja'Nil.
"You fool," Aunt M'eer said between coughs. "We need a healer. You'll have to go on to Cordia without me."
"Me?"
Aunt M'eer glared at her. "You little coward," she said to the astonished girl. "To think it's come to this, the village depending on you." She was panting heavily. Suddenly, she reached out and grabbed Ja'Nil's arm, pinching her skin in the process. "I'm going to die here. Chou is waiting for me. We travel together. Our circle is not ended."
What was Ja'Nil supposed to say? "Maybe it is, maybe—"
"No!"
For someone who was dying, and coughing, and gasping for breath, her aunt had lost none of her bossiness.
"Aunt M'eer I can't go to Cordia alone. I don't even know in what direction it is."
"You have to do something."
Ja'Nil twisted her arm out of her aunt's grasp. "What?" she asked grumpily.
"There is something wrong in Cancordia. Pirates. No healer sent as a replacement. No teacher. They don't even question our taxes! The country is breaking down. I've seen it coming for a long time."
"Then why didn't you do something?" Aunt M'eer didn't answer; she barely seemed to breathe. Her eyes were glazed and inner seeing. "Aunt M'eer?"
Slowly Aunt M'eer turned her head and looked directly at Ja'Nil. "If you will do this for the village, you may take the goods from my cottage. Use them to pay for your ritual. If you fail, you will always be neither child nor adult. Of use to no one. Wanted by no one. A non-person." She closed her eyes.
"Aunt M'eer?"
Slowly Aunt M'eer opened her eyes. It took her a moment to focus on Ja'Nil. "Promise me," she said.
"What?"
"Promise you will go to Cordia, to bring a healer to our village." She was speaking so softly Ja'Nil could barely hear her. "Promise me!"
"But -"
"Promise! So I can die in peace."
Ja'Nil could hear the rattle in her aunt's chest as spoke.
"Please don't die. I promise, only please don't die. Aunt M'eer?"
Ja'Nil watched in horror as her aunt's breathing slowed, slowed, and stopped. "Aunt M'eer!"
Shivering Ja'Nil started mumbling prayers for the dead. She put out a trembling hand and made the sign of the circle on her aunt's cooling forehead. "May you enter The Paradise of Forever, and… and I hope you meet again with Chou. Also." She stopped talking, tears were fighting to get out, to fall, to undo her. She took a deep breath. "Also," she said, "if you see my family please, please… "
The tears came flowing then. She sobbed, as darkness descended through the broken walls, and the barely existing roof. The shadows grew darker and longer until Ja'Nil, finally quiet, sat by the side of her dead aunt in the blackness, listening to the occasional movements of the uncaring horses. There was not even one family member left to walk this cycle of life with her. She was fourteen years old, alone and lost.
CHAPTER 5
Ja'Nil stayed by her aunt's body for hours, fighting to stay awake, but sleep would not be denied. It crept up on her, beckoning seductively, offering temporary oblivion. Her eyes closed. She did not dream of the dead woman lying just lengths away from her. No, instead she was back on her father's boat.
The storm is raging. Yonny, her little brother is crying, screaming for Mama. Ja'Nil is terrified.
"Get to the dingy," mama says, "Get Yonny into the dingy."
Ja'Nil is crawling along the deck, which is awash with debris. Ropes and barrels bump into her. They try to coil around her body and crush her the way the mast is crushing daddy. She looks back over her shoulder. Daddy is still pinned to the deck, his blood washed to a pale pinkness by the waves that crash over the Ta'Sec. Now there is a tremendous crack and the entire boat shudders and starts to come apart.
"Daddy, what should I do? Daddy!"
Slowly her father raises his head and looks across the doomed boat at his children.
* * *
"He's dead," she thought she heard a man's voice say.
Ja'Nil sat up, blinking, confused. "What?"
The innkeeper stood in the door of the stall, legs spread, fists planted on his fleshy hips. "I said, is she dead?"
"The storm," Ja'Nil said, still confused.
"What storm? Ain't no storm. Clear as glass is the sky." He peered down at her. "You ain't one of them addle wits, are ya?" he asked, moving closer to her.
Ja'Nil skittered backwards until stopped by the unmoving lump that was her aunt's body.
"She dead?"
"Yes."
"That damned T'eem, always bringing in strays. Now there's an addle wit for ya."
"He's nice," Ja'Nil protested.
The innkeeper snorted. "Like 'im, do ya?"
Ja'Nil nodded, yes.
"Do ya like me?" asked the innkeeper.
Ja'Nil gazed at him in horror, licked her lips, and thought frantically. "I don't really know you."
"You'll like me, once ya gets to knows me."
Ja'Nil doubted that but said nothing, and watched him like a feral animal in danger of being caged.
"Ya wants her buried?"
"My aunt?"
"She's dead, ain't she?"
"Yes, I mean, no. Cremation is our way and then burial."
"I'll put her in the ground. I ain't building no fire for her. Ya don't wants her in the ground then ya gets her outa here."
"Burial will be… I… burial, yes. I don't guess it really matters to the Lord. It's still a Circle, isn't it?"
"You believe that stuff?"
"Everyone believes it… don't they?"
"Gotta dig a hole, gotta carry her on outa here. Do it for six, nah, seven Qs."
"Is there a priest?"
"No, give me the money."
After all, lots of people didn't get cremated first. For that matter, lots of people never made it into the earth. Some just floated away. Feeling a heaviness of spirit and blankness where surely there should have been some grief, Ja'Nil counted out the seven Qs.
The money pouch was almost empty. Would there be enough to get her home?
"How much ya got left in there?" asked the innkeeper.
Ja'Nil looked at him with loathing. "That's none of your business," she said. Then her mouth dropped open in astonishment. Did she really say that?
The innkeeper just smiled and turned away. "T'eem," he yelled. He had to call twice.
T'eem appeared at the stable entrance, scratching his groin. When he saw Ja'Nil, he jerked his hand away from his body as if it had suddenly caught fire. His face went dark green and he carefully kept his eyes off her.
"The old lady croaked," said the innkeeper.
"Ah, Najadẵ, I'm sorry Ja'Nil," said T'eem.
"Thank you, T'eem."
"Yeah, yeah," said the innkeeper. "Carry her on up to the hill, dig a hole and plant her."
T'eem nodded. He entered the stall, picked up the blanket-shrouded body of her aunt and carried it out.
"So that's that," said the innkeeper. "I ain't lettin' ya stay here for nothing."
Ja'Nil looked at him in amazement. "I'm not staying here. I'm going home."
"Ya are, huh? Where's home?"
Good question.
* * *
The burial was brisk and efficient. It took place on a windswept hill, bare of vegetation, overlooking the No Name Inn
. The area was not fenced, but several body-sized earth mounds insured Aunt M'eer would not be traveling the Circle alone. Ja'Nil found herself wondering how her misanthropic aunt would feel about sharing her burial site with strangers. A lone seagull screeched overhead as if greeting the newly arrived soul. Ja'Nil shivered in the wind and tried to think suitable graveside thoughts.
T'eem, Ja'Nil, and the innkeeper were the only people present. With great gentleness, T'eem laid the tiny woman in the burial hole he had dug. Ja'Nil, who had never liked her aunt, found herself wishing fervently the she was still alive to boss her around. She was almost sick with fear now that Aunt M'eer was dead. For the first time in her life, Ja'Nil was on her own.
Also, she was hungry. Did she have enough money for food? Was it stealing if she used her aunt's money? But most of all, how far away and in what direction was home?
A little voice inside her head was whispering to her, trying to get her attention. You promised Aunt M'eer you would go to Cordia, said the little voice. Ja'Nil concentrated on how hungry she was. You did, insisted the little voice. You made that promise to a dying woman.
Well, she's dead now, thought Ja'Nil irritably. She won't care.
A promise is a promise.
I'll never be able to get a healer, Ja'Nil argued with the little voice. The elders will send someone else.
A promise is a promise.
I'm just being sensible, Ja'Nil argued back.
The innkeeper paid no attention to the burial. Instead he watched Ja'Nil. He watched every move she made. Watched when she sniffed and swiped her nose with her sleeve because she didn't have a handkerchief. He watched as she carefully didn't look at him directly, but kept peeking out of the corner of her eye to see what he was up to. He watched until Ja'Nil wanted to scream at him to stop watching her.
"Okay, she's buried now," said the innkeeper. "T'eem, get back to work. I needs them barrels carried out to the shed." He turned to Ja'Nil. "Give ya a job," he offered, standing very close to her. Ja'Nil took a step back. He crowded after her.
"A job," she stammered. "Ah, no thank you. I have to go back home. Back to my village."
Treat you right. Fatten' you up." He reached out for her. She backed away, tripped over her big feet, and fell on the newly made mound covering her aunt's grave. She was lying on her aunt's grave! He reached out for her again and this time she grabbed his hand and let him haul her to her feet. But he did not let go of her. Instead, he started dragging her back to the inn. In desperation, she kicked at him to get away. He grabbed her with his other hand and shook her like a rag doll. Her head snapped back, and when it came forward, he slapped her face.