"No."
"It will be all right," I told her.
She did not answer.
There were hot days while we crossed the Indian Ocean and our constant companion was Milton Harrington.
"Don't forget I have promised Miss Cartwright to keep a wary eye on you," he said. "She will almost be home by now, poor lady. I am glad I was able to alleviate her sufferings."
"You were most assiduous in your care for her," I told him.
"I am a very humane man."
"You are certainly not a modest one."
"I deplore modesty. It is almost always false, you know. I prefer to come out into the open. If I had a poor opinion of myself I should expect others to have the same."
"Because in your case you think you must always be right. Therefore if you were modest—which it is almost impossible to conceive—there would have to be a reason for it. And as that is equally impossible, you could never be modest."
"It seems a little involved but I imagine your reasoning is correct, Miss Annalice. When we reach Sydney, which we shall do very shortly, I shall want you to come to Cariba to visit me."
"Oh, but I am going to stay with Felicity for a while."
"You know I promised the estimable Miss Cartwright to look after you. I am to book your passage home and to see that you are accompanied by suitable companions."
"There was no mention of a trip to Cariba."
"I want to show you the plantation. Why are you so remote? An ice queen, that is what you are. I believe I have the means of melting the ice, and as queens are women, stripped of their regality they are quite human really."
"I am surprised I seem icy to you. I thought I was being rather friendly."
"You did express gratitude for what I did for Miss Cartwright certainly. Sometimes when I catch you on the deck or elsewhere I fancy I see a little gleam of warmth in your eyes ... as though they are glad to see me."
"I find you entertaining."
"Indeed? Shall I tell you what I find you?"
"I am sure you are going to, whether I give my permission or not."
"Right again. I find you enchanting."
I was silent and he leaned towards me and taking my hand, kissed it.
"I want you to come to Cariba and stay awhile," he said. "I am not going to lose you. I am determined in that."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that I am obsessed by you. I am delighted by everything about you. The way you look, the way you talk... even your cool manner towards me... everything enchants me. This is the most delightful and exciting voyage I have ever made—and I have made many. And why? The answer is clear. It is due to Miss Annalice Mallory."
"I think I should tell you that I am contemplating marriage with someone in England."
"Then the contemplation must cease."
I couldn't help laughing. "You are the most arrogant man."
"It is what you admire so much."
"Who said I admire you?"
"You do. In a hundred ways. Words are not always necessary. You and I... together ... That is how it should be. I'll take you out to the plantation. Well have a wonderful time together. Never mind this
man in England. How can he love you? If he did, he would never allow you to take a trip to the other side of the world without him. Where is he? / would not let you out of my sight."
"You are very vehement, Mr. Harrington. I expect you have a wife at home on your island and this is a prelude to some planned seduction."
"I have no wife ... as yet. But I intend to remedy that."
"Is this a proposal of marriage?"
"You don't imagine I would suggest anything else to a lady of your breeding and character?"
"You are absurd."
"It is maddening on this ship. There are people everywhere. I want to be alone with you. There is nowhere to go. I want to show you what it is like to be really loved."
"I have already told you that I know very well what it is like to be loved. I have been surrounded by loved ones all my life. And now I have already told you that I have an understanding with someone at home who is very dear to me. When I go back I am going to be married."
"I don't believe it," he said.
I shrugged my shoulders. "Your belief or disbelief does not alter the facts."
"I shall not let you go, you know. I am not the man to meet the one person in the world I want to marry and then let her slip away from me."
"You are a very forceful man who is in the habit of getting his own way. I don't doubt that. But this is one occasion when you will not. In view of what you have just said, I think it would be better if you and I saw less of each other."
He laughed. "You are the perfect English Miss at times. I love it. But it is not you really."
He turned to me suddenly and took me into his arms and kissed me violently on the lips. I had never been so kissed before. I tried to push him away and was immediately aware of his immense strength. I was breathless, angry and yet excited.
At length he released me.
"There," he said. "I wish we could be somewhere alone."
"Can you not understand that there are some people in this world who are determined to resist what you think of as your irresistible charms?"
"It strains my understanding too far," he said.
And I found myself laughing with him. I should be angry, I knew, so I tried to simulate anger.
*
If I were honest I would admit that I was enjoying this. I could not help being flattered that he had singled me out for this attention. Instinct told me he would have had numerous love affairs and I could not—or should not—deceive myself into thinking that he found me different from his conquests. What he was implying now was no doubt a well-tried method.
But although I did not believe in his sincerity, I was attracted in a way in which I had never been to anyone else before. It was purely physical, something I had never felt for Raymond. Though I was perfectly aware that Raymond was the better man.
I said: "I hope you will not repeat this conduct."
"You cannot know me very well if you hope that—but of course you don't hope that. Perhaps you really hope that I will."
"Mr. Harrington, I must ask you to stop this nonsense."
"You sound so formal."
"I want to be formal."
"I admit it has its charms. When you finally admit to your true feelings I shall hear you say, 'I love you, Mr. Harrington. 1 "
"That is something you will never hear."
"Never is a word it is not wise to use. Often people have to retract. As you will."
"You must be very optimistic to think that."
"You are very sharp with me. But that is what I love."
"You have strange tastes."
"I have the best taste in the world. I have chosen the queen of women, the ice maiden whom I shall melt, to discover beneath the ice the perfect passionate woman—the only one in the world who is worthy to be my mate."
I was laughing again.
"You do find me amusing," he said. "At least that is a start."
"If you were not I should find your conduct most distasteful."
"You don't, my love. You find it very much to your taste."
I saw Felicity coming along the deck towards us.
He said: "The magic moments are over. Never mind. There will be more."
Everything had changed. I could not help thinking about him. He was outrageous, of course. A wise woman would not believe a word of what he said. This was what is called a shipboard romance.
It meant nothing. Did he expect that I was the sort of person who would indulge in a passionate love affair of a few weeks and then say goodbye when we came into port?
But he had talked of marriage. And I could not stop myself
contemplating marrying him and going out to his plantation. We should return to England once a year. We should visit Sydney regularly. But it was not that which was important. I thought of him... the
big man with the overpowering presence; his way of talking; the manner in which he had bewitched Miss Cartwright. There was no other word for it. She had meekly allowed herself to be sent home and had left her niece in the care of a strange man ... him.
Nothing but a spell could have done that. Yet he had done it.
And now sometimes I felt he had laid a spell on me. I used to lie in my bunk and pretend to be asleep so that Felicity would not intrude on my dreams... and they were mostly about him. It was the manner in which he had kissed me and held me to him; it had made me wonder what it would be like to make love with such a man.
I tried to think of Raymond—so calm, so gentle, so chaste. There was nothing chaste about this man. He was the complete opposite of Raymond. I was being disloyal to Raymond by thinking of Milton Harrington. But I could not help it. Continually he intruded into my thoughts.
Soon we should be in Sydney. Should I say goodbye to him then forever? This interlude on the ship would be nothing but a brief incident. It was only because we were on a ship and real life seemed remote that it could have happened. Normality seemed far away. That was it. He had a strong personality; he had an air of authority; and from the first he had singled me out for his attention, which had flattered me, for after all, I was only human. I liked attention, to think that I was attractive. It was all very understandable. So... I must stop thinking of him and remember the purpose of my journey which Raymond had so kindly helped me to arrange.
Raymond! I must keep Raymond in mind. I must do what I had come out to do. Leave no stone unturned to discover what had happened to Philip; and when I had the answer I would return to Raymond.
We were fast approaching the end of our voyage. Within two days we should be in Sydney.
Felicity was now in a state of extreme nervousness.
She said: "Promise me you'll stay with me for a little while."
I wanted to remind her that the purpose of my journey was to find out what had happened to my brother; but in a weak moment, feeling sorry for her, I promised I would stay awhile.
I did remind her that while I was in Sydney I intended to contact the botanist in whose expedition Philip had gone out—if that were possible. He might be able to throw some light on Philip's activities and if the trail led somewhere I must follow it. But at least I would
stay for a while.' I would go out with her, after her marriage, to her new home... perhaps for a week or so. She seemed content with that.
The days now seemed long. Everyone was impatient to get ashore. There was the bustle of preparation on board with its air of expectancy.
I was alone with Milton Harrington the night before the last. It was a warm velvety evening with no wind and the stars, among which I could see the Southern Cross, standing out clearly against the darkness of the midnight blue sky.
"A very short time now," he said.
"Everyone is longing to get ashore."
"Not I," he said. "I should like to sail on with you forever."
"That is a very romantic sentiment and hardly credible."
"You make me feel romantic."
"I should have thought nothing could have done that."
"You think I am too earthy for romance?"
"Perhaps."
"There is so much you have to learn about me."
"There is so much to learn about everybody."
"And sometimes the lessons can be boring. It would be different with us."
"Are you ready to leave? Packed and so on?"
"I am not ready to leave you."
"The sky is so beautiful. The stars look very near."
"We have wonderful skies in Cariba. You will enjoy them. In fact, you will enjoy a great deal about Cariba."
"You must be longing to get back to your paradise."
"No paradise on earth is perfect. Something is always needed to make it so. I have found that someone..."
"And has she agreed to go with you?"
"Not in so many words. But I read her thoughts."
"You are clairvoyant then? Another of your accomplishments?"
He took my hand. "She really does want to be with me as much as I want to be with her ... or almost. She is rather prim at times. Her upbringing. You know these old English families. But she doesn't deceive me."
"But perhaps you deceive yourself. Unless of course you are talking of someone whom I don't know."
"You know of whom I speak. There could only be one."
"I am surprised that you consider her worthy of you."
"I never thought I should find one who was."
"But you don't accept the impossible."
"No never. How well you have summed me up!"
"Do let us be sensible."
"I'm never anything else."
"This senseless pursuit of me ... The voyage is nearly over. It was to be an amusing interlude, wasn't it? To pass the monotonous days at sea? Well, it is nearly over. You did not succeed in seducing me. which I believe was your motive. Admit it."
"I won't deny it."
"You are shameless."
'The seduction was to have been a prelude to a lifelong love affair."
'"Your conversation is as extravagant as your ideas."
"Shall we be serious for a while?"
"I should prefer that."
"Then I will speak with the utmost seriousness. I cannot say goodbye to you in Sydney. I want you to come and visit my island. Cariba is a beautiful place. You have no doubt pictured it as a desert island with palm trees, sandy beaches and natives in canoes. It is all of that but also a flourishing community. We have made it that with the exportation of sugar. We have utilized the natural resources of the island. It is not small —quite large in fact, as such islands go. It is the largest in a group of four. We have our docks and a reasonably good hotel. Sugar has made the island rich and the people there are sensible enough to know it. I want you to come and visit us."
I hesitated.
"I have a large house on the plantation. I should like you to stay there. But if that would not be agreeable to you. there is. as I said, a reasonably good hotel. Promise me you will come."
"I can't make any promises."
"What a stubborn woman you are."
"You see how undesirable I really am."
"No. I even love your stubbornness. I am so besottedly in love with you that I think everything about you is perfect."
"I have promised to stay with Felicity for a while."
He nodded. "You won't want to stay long. I imagine. Do you know, you haven't told me very much about yourself... about your family. All I know is that you are travelling out with Miss Felicity to keep her company on the voyage."
"Nor have you told me of yourself."
"I will tell you when you come to Cariba. I do know that you live with your grandmother and I presume your parents are dead."
"My mother is. My father married again and settled in Holland."
"I want to know all about you. I always think of you as Annalice. My .Annalice ... the unusual girl with the unusual name. Annalice
Mallory. There is a well-known firm of map makers with the name of Mallory."
"That is my family:'
"Well then, you must be..."
"Yes?"
"A young man from that family came out to Cariba... I've just remembered... It must have been about two years ago. Now what was his name... ? I am almost sure it was Mallory and he was connected with maps."
My heart was beating very fast. I could scarcely speak. "Philip... Was it Philip?"
"Philip Mallory... Yes, I believe it was."
"And he went to Cariba?"
"Yes... he was there some time, I think."
My throat was dry. I was at a loss for words. To think that he had seen Philip more recently than I had; and all this time when we had been indulging in frivolous conversation he might have given me this vital information.
"What happened to him?" I asked.
"I don't know. He was just there
... and then he must have gone."
"He was my brother," I said.
"Your brother. Of course. Mallory ... I had forgotten all about him until this moment."
"Please tell me all you know about him."
"You surely know more than I do."
"What happened to him? He never came home. What did he do? What was he doing on the island?"
"Wait a minute. It's coming back ... I believe he had a map and was trying to find a certain place which no one seemed to know anything about. I only remember vaguely. I was not much interested in him. We get so many people on the island with plans for this and that."
"Please try to remember everything you can about him. It's very important to me."
"I only met him on one occasion. It was in the hotel. He was staying there, I suppose. I didn't see him again. That's all I know."
"So he was at Cariba!"
"Yes, he was definitely there."
I was stunned. Here was a clue, though a flimsy one. And to think that Milton Harrington, with whom I had been in close contact over the last weeks, should have been able to tell me this and I had not discovered it until now, was astounding.
So Philip had stayed in the hotel on Cariba. There might be hotel staff who remembered him, who could perhaps tell me something.
I felt a great excitement. I had not yet arrived at Sydney and already I had made this discovery.
"You will come to Cariba," said Milton Harrington. "Yes." I said firmly, "I shall come to Cariba."
I was leaning over the rail with many others as we came into the harbour. What a magnificent sight it was! I could well believe it was what its first governor had declared it to be: "the finest harbour in the world." On one side of me was Felicity, on the other Milton Harrington. He had taken my arm and held it against his side. I wanted to protest but I felt I could not call attention to ourselves with so many people looking on. I was sure he was aware of this and that it amused him.
Felicity was looking nervous, and I myself was not thinking so much of the coves and beaches and the luxuriant foliage as of Philip's arrival here with the botanical party; and I was wondering what the next weeks were going to reveal to me.
I had already decided that there must be people in the Cariba hotel who would remember him. I must meet them and talk to them. As soon as Felicity was married and I had honoured my promise to stay with her for a week or so, I would go to Cariba.