"When they are married it will be too late. I can't help feeling she is making a mess of her life."
"My dear Annalice, that is for her to decide."
"You don't think ..."
"I think you should stop worrying. Let her make her own decisions. Everyone has a right to do that. Go with her and see her settled in. Think a little more about yourself... about us. And as soon as possible come to Cariba. Every Wednesday the boat sails. I shall be watching ... and waiting ..."
I laughed at him. But oddly enough those words gave me comfort.
INTERLUDE
IN A DARK HOUSE
We were on our way to the Granville property. Events had moved quickly, and now I sat in one of the much publicized coaches of Cobb and Company which was carrying me away from the city and into what I learned was the "outback."
Felicity was now Mrs. Granville; she seemed to have shut herself away since her marriage, which was only of a few days' duration. It was hard to understand what she was feeling. Moreover Milton Harrington had gone back to his sugar island and had left an emptiness behind. While he had been around my uneasiness had abated a little. It came back in full force after the Wednesday boat had sailed.
The wedding had been quiet and brief. There were many such weddings in Sydney; brides coming out to join husbands, and the object was to get the ceremony over as quickly as possible.
There was an absence of family for one thing; and usually only a few friends attended. The sort of wedding with white dresses, orange blossom and bouquets would have been out of place here.
So now here I was, jolting along in the coach with Mr. Granville and his new bride and six other passengers, for the coach carried nine. Our driver was a cheery little man.
We had left the city and the magnificent harbour behind and were now in the open country. The roads were rough and I was struck by the tall eucalyptus trees with which I was now becoming familiar, and I wondered how long they had stood there. Perhaps even before the coming of Captain Cook. The coach rocked dangerously, but the other passengers, with the exception of Felicity, seemed to take that for granted.
Felicity wore an expression of resignation, as though she could no longer be surprised by anything. I pondered what that meant. I rather wished she would talk to me as she had before her marriage because that would be good for her.
The Granville property was a day's coach ride from Sydney and
it was still light when we arrived at Lalong Creek. They called it a township. It was a road with an earth pavement, an inn, a few shops and a scattering of houses. The coach pulled up at the inn where the horses were to be changed—and here was our journey's end.
My heart sank. This was our nearest town, and I could not imagine that we should want to come here frequently.
As the coach approached the inn, a man in a straw hat and corduroy trousers and a brown shirt rose lazily from the bench outside the inn and spat out a quid of tobacco.
I glanced at Felicity. She looked impassive with that air of resignation which implied that she must accept everything, however unpalatable.
"Oh, there is Slim," said William Granville. "Got the buggy there, Slim?"
"Yes, Master. Been waiting here the last hour."
"Good. We'll get away at once."
We dismounted, rather stiff from our long ride.
Slim had left us and when he came back he was driving one of those conveyances they called buggies—a light, four-wheeled vehicle, drawn by a grey horse.
"We shall not be long now," said William Granville. "We have about five miles to go."
He helped us into the buggy and stowed in the hand luggage we had brought with us. He seated himself on one side of the buggy, beside Felicity. I sat opposite. I found it embarrassing because every time I looked up his eyes were on me. I noticed a certain sardonic expression in them. I expected I had conveyed my disapproval of him.
Then we left the township for the drive to the Granville property.
The country seemed stark and so alien from home. In comparison our trees and meadows looked as though they had been tended by gardeners; this was wild country. Some of the tall trees had grey barks which gave them a ghostly look.
"They look like ghosts," I said, feeling some comment was needed.
"We call them ghost gums," William Granville told me. "The abos won't go past them after dark. They think they are the ghosts of men who have died violently and can't rest. You're thinking how different it is from home, eh?" He put his arm round Felicity and pressed her to him. I was not sure whether she winced or not.
"You girls are good horsewomen, I hope," he said.
"I enjoy riding," I said. "I believe Felicity does too."
Felicity nodded.
"You'll find horses to ride in the stables. You'll have to take care
not to get lost. You get out there and you can go round and round in circles. One of the easiest things you can do here is get lost."
He subsided into silence. I looked at the scenery, at the clumps of bushes; here and there feathery wattle bloomed; I could smell its fragrance. We called it mimosa at home and ever after when I smelt that unusual haunting perfume I was reminded of that drive.
"Better speed up a bit, Slim," said William Granville. "Want to get there before nightfall."
"Yes, Master," replied Slim, and put the horse into a gallop.
I was thrown forward and William Granville put out his arms to catch me. For a few seconds he held me so that my face was close to his. I could smell the whisky and found the contact most repulsive.
I hastily disengaged myself.
"It's a rough ride," he said. "Better slow down a bit, Slim. You're making the ladies uncomfortable."
He grinned at me. I was silent.
The horse went splashing through a creek. Some of the dirty water was on my coat. I brushed it off with a handkerchief.
"Steady, Slim. You're splashing the lady, now."
I felt he was laughing at me, that he disliked me in a special sort of way and enjoyed humiliating me; and I thought, As soon as I can leave here, I will.
It would soon be dark. The sun was low on the horizon and I understood that in this part of the world there would not be our long twilight. Darkness came swift and sudden.
There was a grandeur about the landscape which I should have enjoyed in different circumstances, but the farther I went from Sydney, the more uneasy I became.
He said: "We're on my land now. All this is mine. And there are acres and acres of it. One thing that is cheap here is land ... well land and labour. People came out to make their fortunes. There was the gold rush. There is wool ... all this grazing land. They come out here and they don't always make it. Then they've got to do something. That's where we get our cheap labour."
We jogged on. It was almost dark now and we were there.
"Here it is. Your new home, my bride. What do you think of it? Not like your old homestead, is it? No fancy mansion which has stood for hundreds of years. No mullioned windows, Palladian columns and the like. Here they build houses to live in for a while... not to last five hundred years. You'll get used to it."
We had drawn up before the house. He helped us alight and we stood there looking at Felicity's new home.
It had two storeys with several outhouses attached and the wood
was a dirty grey colour. The paint was peeling off the door and there were dark patches on the wood. Above the porch there was a balcony, and I noticed at once that some of the staves were broken away. There were glass doors leading onto this balcony.
The door opened and a woman stood there. I imagined she was in her early thirties. She had very thick dark hair which she wore piled up high on her head in a rather elaborate knot; her eyes were long, narrow and slanting, which gave her an almost oriental look. She was tall with large hips and bust and a small waist. She was very striking but in some way I felt repelled. Her eyes were on me and with a flash of intuition I realized that she thought I was the n
ew Mrs. Granville, and there was a certain malevolence in her gaze.
I felt an urgent need to correct her.
"Here we are at last, Mrs. Maken," said William Granville. "This is Mrs. Granville and her friend, Miss Mallory. Mrs. Maken helps to keep things in order here, don't you Millie? She sees to all my comforts."
I felt the phrase was significant and because of what I was rapidly discovering about Felicity's husband, something in their manner towards each other suggested to me that he was on very intimate terms with his housekeeper.
"Well, come on in," he said.
Mrs. Maken said: "Welcome to Granville's."
"Thank you," I replied. Felicity nodded; she seemed unable to speak. It was now Felicity who had Mrs. Maken's attention, so I was sure my instincts were founded on fact, We went into a small hall. A door was open. I could see a large kitchen where a big fire was blazing in spite of the heat.
"Food is the first necessity," said William Granville. "We're starving. We've been in that coach all day. It gave us a shaking. The ladies are not used to roughing it, Millie. Straight from the Old Country, they are."
I said: "We had something of a buffeting on the ship coming out."
"Preparation for what was to come," said Mr. Granville. "Well, what about that food, Millie?"
"It's all ready."
"Perhaps we could wash first," I suggested.
"There we are, Millie. The ladies want to wash."
"They'll want hot water," she said. "I'll get Sal to bring it. Shall I take them up?"
"I'll do that. You see to the food."
We went into a room which was large and rather sparsely furnished. There was a lack of comfort perhaps because of the wooden floors
and rush mats. William Granville lighted an oil lamp and its light flickered round the already darkening room.
"You're seeing your new home for the first time in the dark," he said. "You're silent, my love."
Felicity said: "I'm very tired."
"Of course, of course. Never mind. You're home now."
We went up a staircase to the next floor.
"This room is the nuptial chamber," he said. I saw the french windows which opened onto the balcony. "Have to keep the windows shut up. Mosquitoes can be a plague. Them... and other things. There's a lot you have to get used to in the outback. Well, I'll show you Miss Annalice's room."
It was at the end of the passage. I was glad to be as far away from them as possible.
It was a smallish room, with bare boards, rush mats and a brass bedstead. There was a wash-basin, a cupboard and a chair—and very little else.
"There," he said. "This is where you sleep while you honour us with your presence."
"Thank you," I replied dismissively.
He hesitated, giving me one of those looks which I dreaded and hated.
I looked out of the small window. It was too dark to see much but I could make out some of the outhouses and the bushes in the distance.
A young girl came in with hot water. She could not have been more than fourteen; she was very small and rather scared to see William Granville there—for I was sure she was not frightened of me.
"Thank you," I said to her. I took the water and turned my back on William Granville. I was relieved when he had gone. And I was thinking: How soon can I get away?
Then the thought of leaving Felicity made me very uncertain. I argued with myself: How could she? Surely she could see what he was like. Or had he been different in England? I had the impression that he was a devious man.
When I had washed I went into the passage. I could hear the sound of voices below. I went swiftly to the room which he had called the nuptial chamber. I tapped on the door.
"Who's there?" That was Felicity in a high nervous tone.
"It is I... Annalice."
"Oh, come in."
I went in. She looked at me for a moment and I thought she was going to burst into tears.
She came to me suddenly and I put my arms round her and held her close to me.
"It's all right," I said. "It'll be all right. It's dark. Places always look different in the dark. It will be all right in the morning."
"I'm so glad you're here," she said.
I wanted to cry out: "I'm going. I can't stay here. There is something about the place ..."
I said nothing. I realized how much more strongly she must feel. She was trapped.
I patted her gently and was relieved to see that she was not crying. I wondered how he would have reacted to tears. She must be remembering that she had to face him and that woman downstairs.
We descended together.
Mrs. Maken was standing in the hall. She led us into the kitchen. "This is where we eat," she said. "Though sometimes we eat out of doors... Cook out there, too."
On the fire were saucepans and a kettle. William Granville was already seated at a long wooden table which was set at one end of the room, as far away from the fire as possible.
Mrs. Maken ladled out soup for us. It tasted good and we evidently needed it for I felt my spirits reviving a little. Cold beef followed. William Granville ate voraciously. He was rather scornful of what he called our "ladylike appetites."
"The outback will change all that," he said with a look at Felicity.
It was a relief when the meal was over.
"Well," said William Granville. "To bed, I think. We can all do with that."
He put his hand on Felicity's shoulder and smiled at me.
"Off we go."
I lay in my bed from where I could see the window. It was dark, but the stars were bright and they threw a little light into my bedroom.
I thought longingly of the comfort of home, and wished I could rid myself of this increasing uneasiness.
But I could not get Felicity out of my mind. What was happening to her now? I shuddered. She had changed. I kept thinking of her when I had first met her at the Billingtons'. She had appeared to look forward to her marriage then. I supposed the prospect of travelling to the other side of the world had appealed to her, and had seemed adventurous as it would to any girl. And now the reality had to be faced. She seemed to have lost all her spirit. Perhaps the only way she could endure the ordeal of being married to William Granville was to numb her sensibilities. I could well imagine that was necessary.
But what was I doing here? If only Miss Cartwright had remained
with us she would have brought a certain normality with her. I wondered what she would have thought of this place, the meal in the kitchen, the voluptuous housekeeper...
I must get away. It was easy for me. I could ride into the township and discover at what time the next Cobb's coach left for Sydney. I would go and stay at that hotel for a night or so and on the first Wednesday...
How happy I should be to see Milton Harrington again! There was nothing in the world I wanted so much at this moment.
I thought I should never sleep, but I must have been very tired because I did.
I awoke early and for a moment I could not remember where I was. As I looked round the room memories came back and with them that feeling of dread.
But everything seemed easier in daylight.
There was a horse to ride, he had told us. I could explore the countryside. There was a sameness about it and one could get lost easily. I could well imagine that. But one could pick out landmarks. It would be pleasant to ride again.
Perhaps I could talk to Felicity. Perhaps she, too, would decide that she wanted to get away and we could escape together.
I noticed that some of the water which had been brought last night was still in the jug, so I washed with that. I could see that here I should have to dispense with the niceties of comfortable living. I dressed and went downstairs. It was quiet down there. I opened the door and stepped out. The morning freshness was very pleasant. I walked round the house, looking back at it. My eyes went to that wooden balcony with the broken staves; and I tried not to think of what it must be like married to such a man.
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As I stood there, I was aware of someone standing close to me.
I turned sharply. It was Mrs. Maken. She must have seen me leave the house and had come up to me very quietly.
"Taking the air?" she said.
"Yes, it's lovely this morning."
"Before the heat," she said, her eyes going all over me, assessing me as it were.
She looked up at the balcony and then gazed sideways at me enigmatically.
Then I heard a laugh such as I had never heard before. It was jeering, almost uncanny.
I looked about me, startled.
Mrs. Maken grinned. "Kookaburras," she said. "Birds, you know. There they go again. There's two of them. They're often in twos."
"It sounds as though they are laughing at us."
"Perhaps they are. Come in and I'll give you some breakfast. There's coffee, if you like it. And I've got some dampers all ready."
I sat at the table in the kitchen.
"It's like a furnace in here when the fire's going." she said. "But we've got to cook though. Mr. Granville likes his food."
"The heat must be unbearable."
"Not much hotter here than outside. We cook out there sometimes. . .just before sundown. That's the best time. The flies aren't such a pest then ... but the food brings them."
She sat down and. leaning her arms on the table, watched me.
"You'll find it a bit rough going out here. Bit different from the Old Country, I should reckon"
She was smiling at me maliciously.
I thought: Yes, I'll go into that township and find out what time the first coach calls.
During the day I felt a little better. I went for a walk after leaving Mrs. Maken and when I went back, which was about three quarters of an hour later. Felicity was up and William Granville was just about to leave. He would be away all day. he said. "You ladies will have a little time to get your bearings, Millie will show you what you want to know, won't you, Millie?"
Mrs. Maken said it would be a pleasure.
As soon as William Granville had ridden off Felicity's spirits rose a little. The prospect of a day without him must have been a tremendous relief to her.