The Rocker Who Cherishes Me
The Rocker…Series
Terri Anne Browning
Copyrights
The Rocker Who Cherishes Me
Written by Terri Anne Browning
Edited by Lorelei Logsdon
Cover Photo by Shauna Kruse, Models Sean Smith and Rachel Kyburz
Book Cover Design by Shoutlines Design, Rachel Mizer
All Rights Reserved © Anna Henson 2014
All rights reserved by the author. This is a work of fiction. Any characters, names, places or incidents are used solely in a fictitious nature based on the author's imagination. Any resemblance to or mention of persons, place, organizations, or other incidents are completely coincidental. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any other means without written permission from the Publisher.
This is a work of fiction intended for MATURE audiences. Recommended for readers 17 and older due to strong language and sexual situations.
Table of Content
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Epilogue
Dedication
To the man who cherishes me like no else ever has or ever will. I love you. Then. Now. Forever.
Prologue
Marissa
Nine Years Ago
With a moan, I turned my head away from the television. A sob was already trapped in my throat even before the vomit made its way into my mouth. I wretched until I was dry heaving then rested my head on the hospital bed while Mary Beth rubbed my back soothingly with one hand and held a cool washcloth to my face with the other. Moaning, I just lay there, wishing the nausea away.
I’d had a chemo treatment that morning—my second this week—and these violent bouts of vomiting were a bonus to all that chemical fun. While other teenage girls my age were worried about blemishes, finding a date for the homecoming dance, or even if she was going to pass her calculus final, I had other things on my mind. Like staying strong just a little longer until a bone morrow donor was found.
Fortunately, a matching donor had finally been found. It had only taken a little over a year to find one, and only then because my brother and his band had made a public appeal because time was quickly running out…
The chemo I’d had today was only a taste of what I would be getting in the morning before the doctors took bone marrow from my donor and put it into me. And after that it was a wait and see game. Wait to see if the transplant would help… Or if I would die, because this was the last option.
Over the last two years I’d gone through all the stages that a person of any age would go through when the doctors informed them that they had an aggressive form of cancer. Denial, anger, grief. You name it, I’ve felt it. But in the last few months, I had finally accepted that this illness might kill me.
I was sixteen years old. My life might not have always been perfect, but I’ve always felt loved. I’ve always had what I needed, and in the last few years I’ve been given everything I’ve ever wanted. So, if I did die I was going to go knowing that my life had been a good one.
There was just one thing I desperately wanted while I could still ask for it. And tonight, before I was transferred from this hospital room that had been my home for the last six weeks into an isolated room where only the nurses and doctors would be able to enter, I was going to ask. Beg if I had to.
With that thought firmly in mind I raised my head and took the washcloth from my adopted mother. Mary Beth took me in when my father died. She and her husband could have let me go into foster care, but when they gained custody of my brother—their nephew—ten years ago, they had asked for me too. Since I’d had no other family except for Liam, it was either go with them or into the system. Mary Beth, having always wanted a daughter but unable to have more children after the birth of her only son, had spoiled me rotten from that day on.
“Here, baby. Rinse out your mouth.” Mary Beth offered me a cup of water and I took it gratefully. Swishing some water around in my mouth I spit it out in the bucket beside my bed then did the same to the mouthwash she handed over.
“When will they get here?” I whispered because my throat was aching from all the vomiting I’d done over the last few hours.
Mary Beth glanced down at her watch then over at the door. “They called from Chattanooga. So they should be here anytime now, baby.”
I bit my lip and glanced at the clock. It was nearly nine at night. If my brother and his bandmates didn’t get here soon then I wasn’t going to get to see them tonight and I knew that I wouldn’t get to see them in the morning. Which meant that I would only get to see anyone through a window for the next few weeks. No human contact. Anxiety over not getting to see my brother—and other people—made my stomach turn over and tears stung my eyes.
With most of her face covered with a mask to keep from breathing her germs on me, Mary Beth leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my temple through the paper barrier. “They will get here, Marissa. I promise.”
I couldn’t speak through the knot of tears in my throat so I nodded and kept my eyes on the clock. Liam and the band had been touring for the last two months. Tabloids have been giving him and his band, OtherWorld, grief for not being with me while I was so sick, and I knew that it was killing him not to be here with me. I wanted him here so badly that my heart couldn’t help but cry. But I also knew that OtherWorld and touring was his job and without that job my treatment wouldn’t have been what it was. There would have been no money for the team of specialists that had been taking care of me day and night. No money for the crazy expensive chemo treatments or the pain and nausea medication.
The tour had ended last night, and OtherWorld’s tour bus had been driving since the last concert ended to get them here.
“How about a movie?” Mary Beth offered as she lifted the DVD box that held my favorite movie, The Wizard of Oz. Bless Mary Beth, because she had sat and watched that movie with me a million times since I’d been diagnosed with leukemia two years ago.
I forced a smile and nodded as she placed the movie into the DVD player that Liam had had delivered the day after he found out I had been admitted into the hospital. Along with the DVD player had been a stack of my favorite movies, including The Wizard of Oz and a few other Judy Garland movies, and a huge teddy bear. The teddy bear hadn’t been from Liam, and even though I’d given up sleeping with stuffed animals years ago, I’d slept with that bear every night until my first chemo treatment and Mary Beth had to take the bear home.
The house had just fallen on the witch when my hospital room door opened with a suddenness that made me jump. Raising my head, I found four men in masks, scrubs, and booties over their shoes. I sat up and a grin broke across my face for the first time in what felt like forever. I took the four of them in, recognizing them all even though most of their faces were covered.
Axton was the first one. He was leaner than the rest, but he was taller than two of the four. His hazel eyes crinkled at the corners, but I could see the concern in their depths. That concern was mirrored in the other three men’s eyes. Behind him stood Zander, whom I recognized because his hands were inked up just as much as the rest of his body. The word OTHER was across the knuckles of his right hand while the word WORLD was across the knuckles of his left. As always, Devlin was right bes
ide his best friend. Dev was the second tallest of the band, but even if he weren’t I would still know it was him from his dark tan, those unique aquamarine eyes, and his long nearly black hair pulled into a ponytail and stuffed under a surgical cap.
The man behind the first three pushed forward and Mary Beth stood to let him take her place on the edge of my bed. Liam’s arms wrapped around me carefully, as if he was afraid to break me. I swallowed another lump of tears and closed my eyes to keep them from spilling down my face as my brother held me close.
“You made it,” I finally whispered after he’d been holding me for a few minutes.
“Of course I did. Did you think I would miss getting to hold you one more time?” He pressed a kiss to the top of my head through his surgical mask. “Everything’s going to be okay now, Rissa. You’ll be okay.”
I nodded, not wanting him to know how unsure I was of that. I was so sick. So weak. So. Tired. I didn’t want my brother to know how close to just giving up I was. He had too many demons to fight as it was. I couldn’t let him know that it was a battle to keep going.
As Liam moved so that his bandmates could hug me, I finally let myself think about the one member who was missing. My heart had sunk a little the moment I’d realized he wasn’t here with the rest of them. Where was he? Had he not wanted to see me? Didn’t he care? I felt horrible because he had been the only one I’d really wanted to see, but I tried to keep a smile on my face as Zander, Devlin, and Axton did their best to make me laugh.
“Okay,” Axton said as he hugged me again. “We’re going to go so that Wroth can come in. He needed a few minutes to himself.”
My eyes widened at Axton’s confession, but my heart flew skyward as I realized that Wroth was actually there. He was there! I couldn’t help that my smile was even brighter as I let the three huge rockers hug and kiss me. Wroth is here. I am going to get to see him after all.
Liam stood as well. “I don’t want to go, but I know he’s gonna want to see you alone. So I’m going to go crash in the waiting room. If you need anything let me know, okay Rissa? Anything and it’s yours.”
I rolled my eyes at him. From that very first enormous paycheck he’d gotten with OtherWorld he’d done nothing but spoil me. “I know, Liam. But all I really want is right here.” I hugged him hard one last time and he took Mary Beth’s hand and they left me alone. Anxiously waiting for the only person I felt like I would die if I didn’t see.
A few minutes passed. I bit my dry lip, trying not to feel hurt that Wroth hadn’t rushed in here to see me as soon as humanly possible. If it had been the other way around, I wouldn’t have been able to keep away even for a second. It might sound like I had a silly schoolgirl crush on Wroth Niall but that wasn’t the case.
I loved him. Plain and simple. There have been times I wished that I didn’t love him, but honestly I couldn’t have fallen for a better guy. Wroth knows what’s important in life. He’s served his country as a marine, used his enlistment bonus to pull the farm that has been in his family for five generations out of financial trouble, and treats me and his momma like we are fine china.
When the door to my room opened again, I held my breath until six foot five inches of solid muscle walked in. At the first sight of him all the tears that I’d been able to hold back for Mary Beth and Liam and the others came flooding to the surface and a sob escaped me before I could call it back. Brown eyes darkened, that strong jaw covered in a surgical mask flexed with emotion and I held my arms out like I was a little kid.
A groan that sounded more like a growl was torn from him and he crossed to my bed in just a few strides before dropping down next to me on the mattress. Strong arms wrapped around me tightly but still with tenderness, his hands wrapping around thin dark hair and pulling my head against his strong chest. Neither of us spoke as he held me and I silently cried. In that moment I knew that I didn’t want to die, even if I had assured myself I was okay with death. I didn’t want to leave this man behind. I wanted more moments with his arms around me, more moments just being beside him.
We sat like that for a long while, but it didn’t feel like long enough. Wroth pulled back, wiping big fat teardrops from my cheeks with his thumbs. “How are you feeling?” he asked in a huskier than normal voice. I loved the sound of Wroth’s voice. Some people said it was scary, almost terrifying at times depending on his mood, but I’d always been drawn to it. I loved that gravely, smoky sound.
“I’m better now,” I promised him. At least emotionally better now that he was there. I was still nauseous though, and it was a feat in and of itself to keep from vomiting in front of him despite the fact that there was nothing in me to throw up.
“You’ve lost more weight since I last saw you.” His eyes narrowed as he brushed his hands over my hair. “And your hair is dry and thin…”
I felt my cheeks fill with pink and I pulled back from him a little, hating that I was already looking like the sick person I was. “The chemo is already working its magic. By the end of everything I will be bald. I probably won’t even have eyelashes.”
“You’ll still be just as beautiful without all that hair, Mari.”
Pleasure made my heart leap. I loved it when he called me Mari. He was the only one to call me that, and only rarely, but when he did I felt like I could fly to the moon and back. Leaning forward again, I laid my head on his chest once more, soothed by the steady beat of his heart. Wroth held me like that for a little while, but then moved us so that he was practically lying beside me with my head pillowed on his chest. With a content sigh, I wrapped an arm over his hard stomach and closed my eyes. I could sleep like this forever.
Of course the night nurse wasn’t going to let that happen. With a tap on the door it opened and there stood my warden. She gave a disapproving frown at the sight of Wroth lying on the bed with me. “Visiting hours will be over in five minutes. Your friend needs to be going soon.”
Wroth started to move but I shook my head as I sat up. “You said it won’t be over for five more minutes. He can stay until then.” When the nurse started to protest I glared at her. “Five more minutes!”
Shaking her head the nurse backed out of the room and let the door close behind her. Wroth sat up beside me, his arms going around me once again. “I’d better go, Mari. You need to rest for tomorrow.”
“But I rest better when you’re with me,” I grumbled.
I could tell he was smiling by the way his eyes crinkled a little at the corners. Wroth rarely smiled so there weren’t any lines around his eyes yet. “We’ll do this again one day. When you’re all better.”
I couldn’t help but pout. Couldn’t the doctors sterilize Wroth and let him stay with me for the duration?
“Promise?” Fresh tears suddenly blurred my vision and made my throat ache.
“I swear,” he said and then hugged me tightly for another moment before starting to stand.
My chance to ask for the one thing I wanted the most, the one thing that would give me a reason to keep fighting until I couldn’t fight any more, was quickly slipping away. Gathering my courage, I just blurted it out. “Will you kiss me, Wroth?”
His big body paused halfway up and he dropped back down next to me. Even though I couldn’t see the rest of his face, his eyes told me that he was shocked by my question. Wroth hugged me all the time, but he’d never given me so much as a peck on the cheek. I couldn’t remember him even ever kissing his mother. So I knew that my question, my plea for a kiss, had stunned him.
He didn’t answer right away. I could see his mind working, wondering what I was thinking even asking him such a thing. Some people might think I was crossing a line, but despite his relationship with my brother I wasn’t related to Wroth in any way. His mother and Liam’s mother had been sisters. My mother… Well I had no idea who or even where she was. She ran off just a few months after I was born, unable to handle a baby let alone one on top of a stepson.
“Mari…”
He was using the nicknam
e I loved so much, but I could tell he was about to let me down easy. I couldn’t let him. I needed his kiss to get me through the weeks that were about to follow. “Please, Wroth. I’ll never ask you for anything ever again. I promise. Just… Please. One kiss. I…” I hated thinking the next words, let alone saying them but I was desperate. “I might not…” My voice broke, and I was unable to finish the sentence, but I saw the way the skin around his eyes tightened. “…I want to know what a real kiss feels like.”
“You really know how to gut a guy, huh?” He shook his head, but didn’t try to stand again.
I didn’t answer, because I didn’t know how to respond. Was he really gutted at the thought of losing me? When I just sat there, staring up at him, my plea still in my eyes, he groaned. “Mari, you know I’d give you anything you want.” With a curse under his breath, he raised his hands and cupped both sides of my face. “You’re so beautiful, girl.”
The way he said that one word made something deep inside of me melt. ‘Girl’ had come out more like a growl than an actual word. I shivered as he lowered his head until his nose skimmed mine through his mask. Reaching up I pulled the mask down until his lips were free. My eyes, hungry for the sight of the rest of his face, drank in the sight of dark stubble shadowing his jaw, that strong nose, and damp full lips. His face wasn’t traditionally handsome, it was too strong and square. But his ruggedness, the badass air he put off attached to all that strength made him sexy in a way that women melted over. I’d never been immune to him, doubted I ever would be.
When those warm, full lips brushed over mine my heart stopped. It was an innocent kiss, there was no passion in it, but this wasn’t about passion. It was about having something to hold onto, a memory I could fall back on when I wanted to give up.
He was actually giving me the kiss I asked for and it was so perfect, so incredibly amazing. My first kiss was so sweet it brought tears to my eyes. They spilled free and when Wroth tasted them he quickly raised his head. “Mari?”