CHAPTER VI
FUN ON THE BOAT
At the city of Ithaca the boys stopped long enough to get dinner, andwere here joined by Fred Garrison and George Granbury, two more oftheir old school chums.
"Hurrah for the gathering of the clans!" cried George Granbury, with abeaming face. "This is like a touch of old times. How are all of you,anyway?"
"First rate, with the exception of Hans here," said Tom. "He's got thebuckwheat measles."
"Yah, und Tom he's got der jipperjocker fefer," declared the Germanboy, bound to do his best to get square.
"Good for Hans!" cried Sam. "Tom, after this, you have got to takecare, or Hansie will roast you."
"Oh, Hans is just all right," observed Tom, and when the German boy'sface was turned away he took the latter's coffee and put into it abouta teaspoonful of salt. "Tell you what, fellows, this coffee justtouches the spot," he added loudly.
"Right you are," said Fred Garrison. "Never tasted better in my life."
So far Hans had not touched the coffee, but hearing the words he tookup his cup and downed a deep draught. It may be added that he was aGerman who loved coffee a good deal, and frequently drank several cupsat a meal.
For an instant the German youth said nothing. Then his face turnedpale.
"Dat coffee was no goot!" he gasped.
"Why, Hans," cried several.
"See how pale he is getting," came from George Granbury. "Hans, are yougoing to die?
"Don't say the coffee is going to poison him," burst out Tom. "I wasreading about poison getting into the coffee at this hotel last week.But, of course--"
"Did da got poison py der coffee in here?" demanded Hans.
"To be sure, put--"
"How vos dot poisoned coffee taste annahow?"
"I'm sure I don't know."
"I think it was a little salty," came from Fred Garrison.
"Mine cracious me! Of dot's so I vos poisoned, sure. Run for der toctorkvick!"
"Here, eat some jam, Hans. That will counteract the effect ofthe poison," said Tom, and handed over a small dish with jam in it,over which he had just sprinkled the pepper with an exceedingly liberalhand.
Anxious to do anything that would stop him from being poisoned, theGerman boy clutched the dish and took a large spoonful of the jam. Butas he gulped it, he gave a gasp, and the tears started down his cheeks.
"_Du meine zeit!_" he bawled. "I vos purnt up alife by mine mouthalretty! Dake it avay kvick!" And jumping up from the table he began todance around madly.
"It's a serious case," said Tom. "If he's burning up we had better callout the fire department."
This remark made Hans grow suddenly suspicious. He caught up Tom's cupof coffee and tasted it.
"I know you, Tom Rofer," he said. "Dot vos more dricks of yours, ain'tit?" He held the cup of coffee on high. "How you like dot, hey!" Andsplash! down came the coffee on Tom's head, and trickled down his back.
"Hi, you! let up!" roared Tom, and knocked the half-empty cup to oneside. "Let up, I say, or I'll have the landlord put you out."
"I told you to take care, Tom," came from Sam, when the other boys hadrestored quietness. "When Hans gets his dander up he is dangerous."
"Dot is drue," came from Hans. "I vonts no more of them chokesalretty." And then, as the waiter came hurrying up, he forced Tom toorder him another cup of coffee, and took good care to keep it out ofthe fun-loving youth's reach. Poor Tom sopped away the spilt coffee asbest he could, but it must be admitted that for the balance of that dayhis backbone felt none too comfortable. Yet he bore no grudge towardsHans, for he knew that he had deserved the punishment meted out to him.
Down at the dock the boys found the _Golden Star_, a trim littleside-wheeler, ready to take them up the lake. There were about half ahundred passengers, bound for various landings, and among them sixPutnam Hall scholars, including our old-time acquaintances, JackPowell, generally called Songbird Powell, because of his habit ofcomposing poems and songs, and that aristocratic young gentleman whorejoiced in the name of William Philander Tubbs.
"The family is surely getting together," remarked Dick, after anotherhandshaking had been indulged in. "Songbird, do you warble as much asever?"
"You can wager a sweet potato he does," said George Granbury. "Nothingshort of a cyclone will ever stop Songbird's warbling, eh, Songbird?"
For reply the youth addressed turned a pair of dreamy eyes on thespeaker, and then said slowly:
"With hopeful hearts And brightest faces, To school we go To fill our places. We'll study hard, And do our best--"
"If Songbird Powell Will give us a rest!"
finished Tom. "Oh, Songbird, have mercy on us, and don't begin so early."
"You're a good one to preach, Tom," came from Larry. "Started to jokethe moment we met him, didn't he, Hans?"
"Did I?" questioned Tom innocently. "I had forgotten." He turned toTubbs. "And how is our friend Philliam Willander to-day?"
"William Philander, if you please, Rover," was the dignified reply. "Imust insist on your getting my name correctly this term."
"All right, Tubby, old boy, it shall be just as you say. I wouldn'thurt your feelings for a big red apple."
"Then, please don't call me Tubby. You know my real name is WilliamPhilander Tubbs."
"Don't you want Esquire tacked to it, too?"
"That is hardly necessary as yet. But you may write it after my name,if you have occasion to send me any written communication," continuedTubbs, with greater dignity than ever.
"Phew! but Tubby is worse than he was before," whispered Sam to Dick."They must have been tuning him up at home."
"Tubbs is going to try for a captaincy this term," said Powell, who hadnot minded Tom's interruption of his versification in the least.
"Hurrah for Captain Tubbs!" cried Tom. "Captain, allow me to saluteyou," and he made a sweeping bow to the deck. Tom spoke so earnestlythat Tubbs was pleased, and instantly forgot their little differences.
"I shall be pleased to become a captain," said the young gentleman. "Ifeel I can fill the position with credit to myself and dignity to theacademy. There is military blood in my veins, for a second cousin on mymother's side was a lieutenant in the Civil War. Besides that, I havestudied military movements at West Point, where I went to see thecadets drill."
"Do you know how to swab out a cannon?" asked Sam, with a wink at theothers.
"I shouldn't--ah--care for such dirty work," replied William PhilanderTubbs with dignity.
"Or police a camp?"
"Surely you don't think I was ever a policeman?"
"Don't you remember what policing a camp is?" asked George Granbury.
"Upon my honor, I do not."
"It means to clean up the streets, burn up the rubbish, and all that."
"Thank you, but I do not--ah--care to become a street cleaner," returnedTubbs, with great dignity.
"Sorry, but I'm afraid you are not cut out for a corporalship," camefrom Tom.
"I didn't say a corporalship, Tom, I said--"
"Excuse me, I meant a sergeantship."
"No, I said--"
"Make it a second lieutenantship, then, Tubby. Anything to be friends,you know."
"I said--"
"Oh, bother, if you want to be a major-general, go ahead. Nobody willstop you."
"Hurrah, Major-General Tubbs!" cried Sam. "That sounds well, doesn'tit, fellows?"
"We'll have to present him with a tin-plated sword," came from one ofthe crowd.
"And a pair of yellow worsted epaulets," added another.
And then Songbird Powell began to sing softly:
"Rub a dub, dub! Here comes General Tubb! He'll make you bow to the ground! You must stop ev'ry lark, And toe the chalk mark, As soon as he comes around."
"There you are, Tubby; think of Songbird composing a poem in yourhonor," cried Tom. "You ought to present him with a leather medal."
"I--I don't like such--er--such dog
gerel," cried William Philander Tubbsangrily. "I think--"
"Well, I never!" ejaculated Tom, in pretended astonishment. "AndSongbird worked so hard over it, too! Thus doth genius receive itsreward. Songbird, if I were you, I'd give up writing poems, and go turnrailroad president, track-walker, or something like that."
"You boys are simply horrid, don't you know!" cried Tubbs, and, pushinghis way through the crowd, he walked to the other end of the boat.
"Being away from school hasn't done Tubby any good," was FredGarrison's remark. "He thinks he's the High Tum-Tum, and no mistake."
"Don't fret, he'll be taken down before the term is over," came fromLarry Colby.
"That's true," added another pupil, who had been taken down himself twoterms before. "And when he hits his level he'll be just as good as anyof us."
The time on the steamer passed quickly enough, and after several stopsalong the lake, the Golden Star turned in at the Cedarville landing,and all of the Putnam Hall cadets went ashore.