“He’s just been using the car seat.”
She sighed loudly. “Oh, Adrian. This is just like the time you brought home a neighbor’s puppy and seemed surprised when you found out you’d have to feed it every day.”
“Hey,” I retorted. “We’ve fed this little guy plenty of times.”
“Sydney, dear,” my mother added, “I expected more sense from you, if not Adrian. Surely you know that a baby needs all sorts of things.”
Sydney was momentarily stunned, and I couldn’t blame her. I was pretty sure my mother had never called her “dear” before, and I think Sydney was at a loss as to whether to feel flattered by the endearment or chastised for her lack of “sense.”
“Yes, Mrs. Ivashkov,” said Sydney at last. “That’s why we wanted you out here while we got things settled. We know you’ll get him all he needs.”
“You’re Mrs. Ivashkov now,” corrected my mom. “Call me Daniella.”
That was another surprise to Sydney, and she was saved from her shock by her phone ringing. “It’s Ms. Terwilliger,” she said, answering it and walking out of the room. She returned a few minutes later, face excited.
“The local witches are going to start searching tomorrow at dawn,” she told us once she’d disconnected. “I’ve got the location to meet. Eddie and N-Neil will join us. Until then, we’ll just lay low.”
She tripped a bit over Neil’s name, her eyes falling on Declan as she spoke. I understood how she felt. At some point, once things were stable, Neil was going to have to find out he was a father. The concept still made me reel. You’d think after everything I’d come to terms with—Strigoi being restored, the dead brought back to life—that I could take two dhampirs creating a baby in stride. But I couldn’t. It was still too strange, too beyond how I’d centered my world.
My mother surprised me then by handing Declan back to me. “If you two are stuck inside and nothing else is happening this evening, then I need to do some shopping before everything closes so that he can be properly taken care of.”
I took a little offense at the words. I honestly thought we’d done a pretty decent job of taking care of him in the last twenty-four hours. Maybe he only had one outfit, but it was mostly clean, and I was putting his diapers on correctly now. Plus, he was always fed as soon as he showed any signs of hunger. For someone who’d spent most of his adult life fearful of getting girls pregnant, I thought my unexpected paternal trial was turning out reasonably well.
But I knew what she meant, and part of the reason I’d wanted her to come was for her insight. After all, she’d raised a baby to adulthood, and I hadn’t. “Not much left in my account,” I told her. Both of us had been cut off by my dad. “But I’ll give you my debit card, and you can use it as far as it’ll go.”
“Perhaps I may be of assistance,” offered Clarence, getting to his feet. With the help of his snake-headed cane, he hobbled over to an ornate wooden box on a shelf in the wall. I’d seen that box a hundred times while I’d been in his home. What I hadn’t seen was him ever open it, and my jaw nearly hit the floor when he lifted the lid and revealed stacks of one-hundred-dollar bills. He handed what had to be at least a thousand dollars to my mom. “Will this be enough for the young master, Lady Ivashkov?”
My mother actually had the audacity to deliberate. “It’s a start,” she declared magnanimously. She turned to Rose and Dimitri. “Now. Which one of you is going to drive me?”
Surprisingly, Rose volunteered. Although still uneasy around Declan and babies in general, she seemed kind of excited about shopping for one. Sydney looked disappointed at not being able to join them but made no arguments. With Alicia and the Alchemists on the loose, Sydney couldn’t leave a secure location like this without good reason. She contented herself by holing up in a guest room and prepping some spells that would be of use in the search for Alicia tomorrow. That left Dimitri and me to babysit, which seemed like the setup for some sort of wacky sitcom.
“They really are amazing, aren’t they?” he mused, admiring Declan as he slept in my arms. “Someone so small . . . who will have such enormous potential. Good, evil. Great acts, small acts. What will it be? What will he become?”
I wouldn’t have known the answer for anyone, let alone for a child born because of the incredible magic used to restore his mother from an undead state. As Dimitri spoke, I was surprised to see a deep, heartfelt longing in his eyes. He and Rose might have teased each other about babies, yet underneath it all, he seriously and desperately would love a child of his own, I realized. With a few words, I knew I could change his entire world if I told him the truth about Declan, that Dimitri might very well be able to have a son or daughter of his own. It might only have been the result of lucky timing that he and Rose hadn’t conceived yet. That the possibility was out there was something they needed to know.
He would be indebted to you, Aunt Tatiana murmured. Since you’ve known him, you’ve always chased him, always been second to him. With Rose. With great deeds. But if you told him he could have a child with her, he would get down on his knees and weep at your feet.
The power was in my hands, and the temptation to tell him nearly overwhelming . . . but I bit my lip. I couldn’t. Not until Neil knew.
When my mom and Rose returned, I was astonished to see they’d become fast friends. I was also amazed at the quantity of merchandise they’d managed to buy in so short a time. A bassinet, a gazillion clothes, toys, and a whole bunch of products for babies I hadn’t even known existed. Sydney looked it over with a critical eye and immediately began double-checking product reviews on her phone.
“This will get him by for now,” my mother announced. “But of course he’ll eventually need a full-size crib, once he’s bigger. And although that car seat is adequate for now, we saw several that would be much more suitable.”
“We saw some with cup holders and sunshades,” added Rose.
Sydney nodded in agreement. “He’ll definitely need a sunshade.”
I knew it was pointless telling them Declan wouldn’t be in our care by the time he needed a cup holder. When it came to the strong-willed women in my life, I found it was sometimes easiest to nod and agree with whatever they dictated was best. That being said, Declan did seem much more comfortable sleeping in a real bed that night, and the rest of us stood around admiring him after he’d fallen asleep.
“Sweetest baby ever,” my mother said with a sigh.
“You mean second sweetest, right?” I corrected. I was a little surprised at how quickly she’d taken to him, but then again, perhaps I shouldn’t have been. Her whole life had been thrown into upheaval, between leaving my father and supporting my unorthodox marriage. Here, in Declan, she had a project that she could throw herself into—something far more meaningful and substantial than her cross-stitch and less weird than a dragon or a witch’s cat.
More importantly for us that night, my mother was more than willing to take on the responsibility of Declan’s overnight feedings. Part of this was because she was still on a nocturnal schedule from Court. But she could also tell that the rest of us were exhausted, and being woken every couple of hours probably wasn’t in our best interests if we wanted to be alert and ready for a possible encounter with Alicia tomorrow. After all, her whole point in that twisted scavenger hunt had been to wear Sydney down.
“I hope we find her,” said Sydney as she got into bed that night. “Can you even imagine? This could all be over by this time tomorrow. We find Alicia. We find Jill. Everything goes back to normal—well, whatever passes for normal with us.”
I slid into bed, enjoying the luxury of stretching out after having pulled my last nap in a cramped airplane seat. It was also heady to have Sydney in relative privacy for a change. Clarence’s home was so big that our guest room was isolated in this hallway, unlike the cramped quarters back in Court’s guest housing. Sydney, dressed simply in shorts and a tank top, cur
led up against me, and I sighed happily. At last, a moment of peace with her.
“Adrian,” she said, “we need to talk about what happened at the commune.”
My hold on her stiffened. “A lot happened.”
“I know, I know, and obviously we’re dealing with the most important part—Declan. But we need to talk about what you did—that healing.”
She blames you! hissed Aunt Tatiana. She blames you for Olive’s death!
“You think I’m responsible for Olive dying?” I demanded.
“What?” said Sydney. “No. No. Of course not. Adrian . . . you don’t blame yourself, do you? A Strigoi did that to her. There was nothing you could have done.”
“Then why are you giving me a hard time about the healing?” I asked.
She exhaled. “I’m worried about the way it wore you out. You said you’d tone down your spirit use. That it was for the best.”
“Actually,” I said, “I don’t know that I ever said that. I think you decided it and have been forcing it on me.”
Her kind tone suddenly became a lot frostier. “‘Forcing’ it? Adrian, I’m trying to help you. You heard what happened to Nina with all that spirit use. I don’t want you comatose like her!”
“I didn’t use as much as her,” I retorted.
“You drained yourself! That seems like a lot to me.”
“Yeah, well,” I said angrily, “there are a bunch of dhampirs back in Lana’s camp who’d disagree with you. They’re grateful for what I did.”
But not Olive, whispered Aunt Tatiana. She has nothing to say at all.
“Adrian,” said Sydney, obviously trying for calm, “I’m sure they are grateful, but we’ve been over this. You need to go back on your medication. You can’t save everybody. You can’t use spirit indiscriminately and ignore the cost to yourself. You’re putting your life in danger.”
“What kind of life would I have—what kind of person would I be—if I hoarded that magic and let others suffer? I can’t, Sydney. If I see someone, and I can help, I’m going to. I can’t sit by and abandon them!”
“And I can’t sit by and let you keep hurting yourself,” she cried, losing that calm again.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, rolling over to my side. “I guess I can’t change who I am.”
Long moments passed, and finally she rolled onto her side too so that our backs faced one another. Icy silence fell. So much for a peaceful or romantic night.
She doesn’t understand, Aunt Tatiana told me. She never will.
I need her to, I answered back in my head. I need her in my life to understand and support me. Without her, I’m lost.
You’ll always have me, came the phantom response.
I tugged the covers more tightly over me, thinking with dread about how one of these days, I was going to have to deal with the elephant in the room—or rather, the dead queen in my head. I was fairly certain that if I went back on my medication, Aunt Tatiana would go away . . . but then, so would spirit. Was I ready for that again? Without spirit, I never would’ve been able to heal those dhampirs. I wouldn’t be able to help in the upcoming rescue for Jill. Without spirit, what was I?
Spirit couldn’t save Olive, remarked Aunt Tatiana. It’s overrated.
“Shut up,” I mumbled.
Behind me, Sydney stirred. “Did you say something?”
I rolled back over and kissed her shoulder. “I said I’m sorry. I love you.”
CHAPTER 12
SYDNEY
I WENT TO BED FEELING UNSETTLED. Adrian had swung back too quickly from his opposing stance for me to believe he’d truly had a change of heart. When morning came, though, there was little opportunity for further discussion. Declan demanded our attention, and then, before long, it was time for us to go and help the others search for Alicia. Before joining the witches, however, Adrian and I first had a much-needed reunion with some of our friends.
We went to Adrian’s old apartment with Rose and Dimitri, triggering another wave of nostalgia as I thought back to all the time I’d spent there. Long afternoons lounging around in Adrian’s arms, before we were married, before we were constantly pursued . . . I’d thought we were living on the edge back then, but compared to what we faced these days, life had been deceptively simple.
Trey Juarez greeted us at the door, his easy grin growing even bigger as he took in Adrian and me. “Been a long time, Melbourne. Or do I call you Ivashkov now?”
I returned his powerful embrace. When Adrian had left Palm Springs to live at Court, he’d given his apartment to Trey. “I’m still just trying to get you to call me Sydney,” I told him. I introduced Rose and Dimitri to him and then glanced around the apartment, still the sunny yellow shade that Adrian had painted it. Eddie and Neil were there waiting for us, and I gave them hugs too. “Where’s Angeline?”
“At Amberwood. She’s got summer classes.”
“Does she?” I asked in surprise. “I didn’t know that. I thought she was just boarding there for the summer.”
“She was,” Trey agreed, a sparkle in his eyes. “And then I convinced her some extra studying would help her with classes in the fall.”
“The fall?” I settled down on the couch, trying not to think of the times Adrian and I had curled up together on it. “I figured she’d go back to the Keepers.”
“You should know her better than that,” said Neil wryly. “The queen agreed to fund her education as a way of thanking her for looking after Jill all this time.” I almost didn’t process his words. The sight of Neil reminded me of Declan, waiting back at Clarence’s. Adrian and I had agreed it was best to wait to tell Neil the news, but it was a huge secret to be carrying.
“Angeline almost refused,” added Trey. “Said she didn’t deserve it since she’d let Jill slip away. But I convinced her Jill will want a well-educated guardian when we rescue her—and that Amberwood’s not that far of a drive from UCLA.”
I smiled, despite a pang of jealousy. Trey was going to college soon, something I’d been denied initially because I was part of the Alchemists. Now, being constantly on the run from them, it seemed unlikely I’d go anytime soon. “Look at you, setting a good example for others,” I teased.
“Hey,” he said, “I meant all of it. And we are going to get Jill back, right? Explain this lead you’ve got. Eddie said it’s some girl you fought before?”
The light mood instantly shifted as we got down to business. “Her name’s Alicia DeGraw,” I explained, getting out my phone. “We don’t entirely know where or how she’s holding Jill, but it seems pretty clear now she’s doing it as a way to get back at me. Her last clue led to the Salton Sea, and that’s where Ms. Terwilliger’s friends are going to help us search today.” I showed him Alicia’s picture, which Ms. Terwilliger had obtained from a friend of hers who’d known Alicia back when she was Veronica’s apprentice. It had been taken a couple of years before I met Alicia, but she looked the same: hipster glasses, excessive accessories, and bobbed, pale blond hair.
Trey’s eyes widened. “I know this girl.” Seeing our astonished looks, he hastily amended: “That is, I’ve seen her. She came here looking for you and Adrian. I told you guys . . . but I never caught her name.”
Vaguely, I recalled Trey mentioning a girl who’d come by asking for Adrian and me during the time I’d been held captive by the Alchemists. We’d been so preoccupied by other things—like escaping with our lives from the Alchemists—that the incident had slipped our minds.
“She was here?” exclaimed Eddie.
“Only long enough to ask for Sydney and Adrian,” Trey said. “And use the bathroom.”
Realization hit me. “And I bet I left a comb or brush in there. That’s how she got my hair to key that spell to me.”
Many of our friends only knew bits and pieces of the story and the chase Alicia had led us on, so I took a momen
t to catch everyone up and give a full rundown. Eddie was glowering by the time I finished.
“It’s been driving me crazy being in town, knowing I might be so close to Alicia and not able to do anything,” he said. “But Ms. Terwilliger insisted we search with the other witches.”
“You could’ve shaved in your downtime,” suggested Adrian helpfully.
“I understand,” I told Eddie, ignoring Adrian’s snark. “I haven’t liked the delay either, but getting them to help us will give us an extra layer of protection against Alicia. There’s no telling what magical traps she might have laid.”
“Are you sure she wants you to come to the Salton Sea?” asked Dimitri. “You think that clue was meant to be taken literally?”
“All her other clues were very specific,” I said. “So, yes, I think that was her initial plan . . . however, we’ve delayed a few days by keeping me away. That may have undone whatever she originally wanted, which is good and bad. It means she’s been thrown off . . . but it also means she may just come up with something new that we aren’t expecting. Our hope is that we can find some clue at Salton today that might put us on the right track.”
“I don’t even know her, and I hate her already,” remarked Rose.
I glanced at the time. “Let’s hope we can find her so you can tell her in person. It’s time to go.”
Our group mobilized and set out in two different cars, off to meet Ms. Terwilliger and the other witches at a Salton Sea state park. The sky was overcast with gray clouds, hinting of a rare rainy summer day ahead. When I saw the group that Ms. Terwilliger had assembled, I was awestruck. At least two dozen witches stood before us.
“I feel bad,” I murmured to Ms. Terwilliger, stepping away from the others. “Getting all these people involved.”
She pushed her glasses up and smiled at me. “It’s like I told you in the Ozarks: This is a problem for the entire magical community. You have nothing to feel bad about. It’s Alicia’s fault, not yours.”