CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Ember watched her kidnapper ride away with her family, her hackles up so high it was almost painful. Ian Covainis had effectively cut her off from her family and those who could be of help to her at the mage trials.
He was with her family. A low growl rumbled deep in her chest as she tried to push past Shad to get to the man, but Shad moved with her, and after several attempts she tried to bull her way through. He rammed her to the ground and pinned her as easily as he would a pup, holding her there until she’d quit thrashing and biting and finally lay still. “Are you done?” he asked.
Ember didn’t want to answer. She wanted to throw him off and run after her family. They had no idea what kind of man Ian was. She had to warn them before something happened, but Shad wasn’t budging. He was getting heavy, and Ember couldn’t catch her breath with his weight on her.
“I ask again, are you done?” Shad’s snarl started low in his throat and rumbled across his chest.
Ember could feel the vibration as he pressed her into the ground. This was one battle she couldn’t win, so she answered. “Yes.” She sounded as sullen as she felt.
“Good.” Shad scrambled backward and faced her, wariness evident in his lowered head and motionless tail. There was no question he was waiting for her to try running off again, and Ember would have been lying to herself to say the thought hadn’t crossed her mind. But Shad made it pointless. It was obvious he wasn’t going to let her go anywhere. “You need to think before you charge off like that. Do you have any idea who that man is?”
“Yeah, he’s my kidnapper, and he works for C’Tan.” Speaking C’Tan’s name gave Ember chills. The woman was well-known for her ruthlessness, and it made Ember’s skin crawl to know they shared blood.
Shad snorted. “That’s putting it mildly. Ian Covainis is second only to Kardon in C’Tan’s legions. It is rumored that he is the son of Kardon and C’Tan, though there is no proof of it. The man has no conscience, child. Leave him be.”
Ember felt sick. Everyone she cared about was in the company of that monster. “But he’s with my family! They don’t know how much danger they’re in. I’ve got to warn them.”
Shad shook his head. “So long as he doesn’t find you, they’ll be fine. He needs to keep himself from being noticed at this point. If you warn them, it puts them in more danger. I know for a certainty that Ezeker and Marda can take care of themselves, and with the guard and your brothers there as well, they could not be much safer. Covainis may be powerful, but even he cannot take on an entire regiment without injury.”
Ember didn’t want to listen, but it seemed she had no choice. She nodded reluctantly and bowed her will to that of her uncle. “Good girl. DeMunth!” Shad called to the mute singer who had left their side somewhere in the scuffle. DeMunth rode up from behind the pack at the mental call. “Ember’s kidnapper is riding with her family, trying to pass himself off as a do-gooder. I need you to keep an eye on him. Find out what you can and meet us at the big willow.”
DeMunth nodded and turned his mount back to get some distance. The horse gained speed, racing for the fence, and just as Ember was sure he would ram through it, the huge animal gathered himself and leaped over the wooden railing as if it were nothing more than a bush.
As soon as DeMunth was in the pasture, he dug his heels into his stallion, and they ran even faster. Even in her wolf form, Ember was amazed at the speed of his horse. She’d quickly discovered the night before how fast four legs could take her, but DeMunth’s mount made her long for that kind of swiftness. She watched until they hurdled over the gate on the other side and faded out of sight in the gray rain, headed for the high road.
Shad turned to her. “Are you ready?”
Ember nodded, not trusting herself to speak quite yet. She was still too angry at Shad’s interference, whether well-meant or not. Her stomach roiled with worry for her family, but it seemed there was nothing she could do without making things worse for them.
The pack ran, Shad and Ember in the lead, the other dozen or so loping behind or fanning out to the sides as they wove in and out of the trees around Paeder’s farm. The rain had lightened earlier, almost non-existent in the morning, but the muddy deluge had returned, making footing treacherous. Each bound forward threw mud behind them until those in the back of the pack were covered nearly head to paw in the gray muck, and Ember struggled to resist stopping to lick herself clean.
For most of the day they ran, their senses dulled by the constant rain and the need to pay attention to the slick surface. Most of the pack ate on the run—they stopped for a mouse here, a rabbit there, but Ember couldn’t quite bring herself to accept the blood lust that gnawed at her belly and made her mouth water. The logical, human part of her was revolted by the thought of raw meat—especially rodents.
It was near dark when the pack burst through the thick woods into a clearing dominated by the biggest willow tree Ember had ever seen. It was taller than Ezeker’s tower, almost as wide as Paeder’s house, with branches that spilled from the top to sweep the ground. The pack darted through the wiry branches, settling beneath the sheltering tree. Ember sank to her haunches in exhaustion. Running on all fours came rather naturally to her, but it still took a lot of effort, and she was more tired than she could ever remember. She panted, her tongue hanging low, her chest moving so quickly with her breath that she felt like a hummingbird.
The long branches of the tree channeled the rain down their lengths, leaving the open space near the trunk nearly dry. The branches were so thick, she felt as if she were standing behind a living curtain.
For the first time in nearly two days she felt safe, hidden, and protected from a hostile world. At least, she did, until several wolves dropped rabbits at her feet. They nudged the animals toward her, then backed away. Ember looked at Shad, but he wasn’t laughing.
“You need to eat. You are expending a lot of energy with this kind of run. You won’t last if you don’t feed.” Shad tossed what looked like a gopher through the air. It landed with a thud in the dirt next to the rabbits.
Bile rose in Ember’s throat even as her mouth watered. The two sides of her nature battled. She sniffed at the rabbits, picked one up in her mouth and bit down gently. The coppery taste of blood filled her mouth, sending a wave of revulsion over her. She dropped the rabbit and backed away, whimpering.
“Ember, eat. You’ll get used to it.” Shad came around and bumped her from behind. She parked herself and wouldn’t budge.
“I can’t eat that. I’d rather go hungry.”
“You’ll do more than go hungry if you don’t eat. You won’t survive. You don’t have a choice.” He said it so matter-of-factly that, for a moment, it didn’t register. She was going to die if she didn’t eat a raw rabbit?
Ridiculous.
“There are other things to eat.” Ember’s stomach growled.
“Like what?” Shad was obviously humoring her.
“Berries and stuff. Grass. Roots. Anything’s better than that.” Ember lowered her head toward the dead animals and sneezed.
Shad seemed almost offended. “Wolves don’t eat berries. Wolves eat meat. Red, raw, bleeding, still-warm meat. You are wolf, whether you want to be or not, and until you can shapeshift back into your human form, this is it.”
That gave Ember an idea. “Speaking of shapeshifting, do you think we can practice that again? I think I can do it this time.”
“You’re changing the subject. You need to eat.” Shad’s set jaw was almost human. It reminded Ember of Aldarin in his most stubborn moments.
“I know I need to eat, but I won’t eat that. If I turn human, I can cook it first. I just can’t do the slimy raw meat thing.” She shivered in disgust.
Several chuckles sounded around her. Shad rolled his eyes and shook his head. “It’s not as bad as you think, though your father also had a hard time with it. Very well, then, we’ll practice shapechanging, and in the meantime I’ll have the pack roast your meat for you. Will th
at suffice?”
Ember nodded, relieved.
“Good. Now, I’ve had some thoughts, especially now that Ian Covainis is in the picture. Your safety is of the greatest import, no matter the inconvenience. Would you not agree?”
Ember nodded again, not sure where he was going with this. He seemed nervous as he paced back and forth.
“Since shape-changing is now an option, or at least it will be once you figure out how to change back, it would make sense to use that as a way to disguise yourself, yes?” He didn’t wait for her answer before he continued. “The best way to disguise you is to present you in the way Ian is least likely to expect. Obviously you need to be human, but I am afraid he will search all females in the city looking for similarities. He would be much less likely to find you if you were much less female.”
Ember was confused. “I am female. How am I supposed to get around that?”
“By disguising yourself as a non-female.” Shad cleared his throat, obviously embarrassed.
“What? Non-female? But that means . . .” Realization dawned. “You want me to look like a boy?”
“Er, yes.” Shad at least had the decency to shut up after that.
Ember was appalled. “No. Absolutely not. Dressing like a boy, fine, but I will not make myself less female by shape-changing.”
Shad sighed and stepped closer, his head almost touching hers. “I know it’s hard to grasp, but it’s the last thing he would expect. Most people don’t understand that as a shapeshifter, any form is possible. You wouldn’t technically be a boy—you would just look like one. You know, make yourself a bit bulkier, narrow the hips, thicken the jaw, and add some stubble, shrink your chest—”
Ember interrupted him there. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Just hold on. I can’t even figure out how to become my normal self again—how do you expect me to do all that? Even if I could, I wouldn’t. I can see the need for changing my face, but there is no way I am going to shrink my . . .” She stopped. If she’d been in her human skin she would have been several shades of red. “Well, I’m just not, that’s all.”
“I’m going to have to insist. Your safety is of the utmost importance. I’m not going to let you endanger yourself just because it makes you uncomfortable. You will change your face and form, Ember. Accept it, or I will not help you learn how to shift back, nor will I take you to Javak.”
Shad turned to walk away, and Ember’s panic set in. Like it or not, she was going to have to do as he asked. She had to be at those mage trials. “Okay, okay, I give up, you win, but I won’t shrink my chest. I’ll bind it up if I have to, but I’m not going to change anything that makes me female, understood?” Too many years of being teased by the village girls about being flat-chested made Ember all too aware of the differences between boy and girl.
Shad looked at her for a long moment, his head cocked as he thought. Finally, he nodded once in assent and beckoned for her to come with him to the other side of the tree. Several of the wolves had shifted into human form and carried loads of rocks to the center of the clearing. Ember was curious what they were doing, but learning how to shift back into herself seemed more important, so she left with one last glance over her shoulder.
Once Shad and Ember were in a semi-private spot on the other side of the tree, he stopped and sat down. “I’ve been thinking—”
Ember interrupted. “It sounds like you’ve been doing a lot of that today.”
Shad chuckled. “Actually, yes. More than usual, anyway. So, I was thinking, maybe we’re looking at this the wrong way. Maybe breaking the transformation down into steps is too much detail for you. When you changed into a wolf, you did it quickly, almost instantly, correct? You didn’t stop to think about what to do with your clothes or how to change the color of your eyes, did you?”
Ember hadn’t thought about it, really, but he was right. When she’d transformed in the cave, it had been an emotionally spurred act. She didn’t think about it, she just did it. She thought of what needed to be and made it happen. It had been the same with the dress. She’d visualized it, wanted it very badly, and suddenly it was. Could it really be that simple?
Shad continued. “How do you best see magic?”
“With my eyes closed, or at least, that’s the way I saw the green swirls and spikes yesterday. When my eyes were open, everything looked normal, but when they were closed, I saw green everywhere.”
The wolf nodded his head thoughtfully. “Let’s try something here, shall we? Close your eyes. Keep them closed and tell me what you see.”
Ember complied, though she saw nothing.
“What do you see?” asked Shad from beyond the darkness.
“Nothing,” Ember answered. Even she could hear the frustration in her voice.
“Good. You weren’t supposed to. That was a check. Now comes the important part. Pay
attention.”
Ember strained against the darkness, but there was still nothing for what seemed forever. She was about to call out to her uncle in frustration when a sullen green light sprang to life in front of her. She gasped in surprise. It was a wolf-shaped image that started to stretch and pull like taffy. She could see the flares and spikes as energy surrounded what had to be Uncle Shad, and somehow, on a deep, magical level, it clicked. As she watched him, she suddenly understood how it worked, though she could not have told someone if they’d paid her. It was so basic as to be instinctive—there were no words to describe it.
She watched with her magic eyes until he became a man, then opened her eyes.
Uncle Shad was more handsome as a human than she’d thought he would be. Ember hadn’t really taken the time to see him that morning, but now she did. His dark hair was short, his eyes the same murky green as her own. He was shorter than she’d imagined, but powerfully built, though not in a grotesque way, as the kidnapper Ian had been. He was just a nicely built man with not a bit of fat on him. He smiled, and her heart melted. He had dimples that creased his cheeks and sparkles in his eyes, the kind she knew identified him as a big tease.
“All right, your turn,” he said, his voice a melodic baritone. It was strange to hear him speak aloud after all the mind-speech they’d shared in the past day. “Remember, try to turn yourself into a boy."Take the picture of someone you know, or better yet, parts of people you know, and combine them into a whole. It’s your best defense against Covainis.”
Ember nodded. The idea was repugnant to her, but she didn’t see any alternative. Closing her eyes, she created the image in her mind of the perfect man. Dark eyes, hair as black as raven’s wings, a strong chin, and full mouth. She made it as perfect as she could, then wished for it with all her heart.
There was a searing pain in her paws, and then her entire body felt like it had been caught between the horses. She was smashed, stretched, and molded like clay, all of her fur disappearing into the clothes she’d worn before she transformed. She’d wondered where her clothes had gone—evidently they became her fur. Strange.
Glancing at her hands, Ember was relieved to see long fingers instead of furry paws. She felt her face. She still had her same nose and rounded cheeks, but her jaw and mouth felt different, and what hair she could see in the twilight seemed pretty black.
With a snap of his fingers, Shad called up a mage light and examined Ember’s face in the blue glow. A slow grin spread across his face as she panted, still fighting with wolf reactions despite her human face. “Good. Very good. I was right.” His laughter was contagious, and she smiled, despite the residual pain that still sparked through her body. “Next time go a little slower. The pain will be less, but you’ve got the idea. A few finishing touches and you’ll be set.” He looked closely at her nose and ran a thumb along her jaw. “Your nose is too dainty for your face. I’m sure it would be beautiful for a girl nose,” he qualified when he saw she was about to object, “but for a boy, it’s too pretty. Make it bigger here, maybe a little thinner there,” he touched her nose, “and give yourself some stubble.”
/> This was the part Ember had been dreading. She closed her eyes again and imagined a bit of peach fuzz lining her upper lip and chin, much like Tiva and Ren had at the moment. It felt strange to feel hair sprouting from her pores, and she only hoped things would go back to normal when she was herself again. She didn’t want to go through life as a bearded lady.
Next, she concentrated on her nose. She found it helped to actually touch it as she worked. She imagined it thinner through the bridge and wider through the nostrils, and finally settled on one similar to Aldarin’s. He had the perfect male nose—very dignified, but not overly hawkish.
When she felt she was done, Ember opened her eyes to gauge Shad’s reaction. He nodded his head, his lips pursed as he examined her face in the light. “Not bad, my dear, not bad at all. Now, are you sure you won’t flatten your chest a bit? You’re rather, umm, how shall we say, obvious as a girl.”
Ember was shaking her head before he had finished. She closed her eyes one more time and attempted to bulk her body up as he’d suggested earlier, hoping that it might better hide her assets. The mass in shoulders, arms, and chest increased, her hips thinned, and her hands expanded a little to look more masculine, though she didn’t dare increase the size of her feet or she’d never get her boots back on.
She thought about flattening her chest, but she just couldn’t do it. For some reason, it felt wrong to her. Instead, she asked, “Do you have anything I can use to bind myself? I think with all the muscle, I can hide things pretty well.”
Shad looked leery, but he didn’t object. “I’ll give it some thought and see what we can come up with.” He cocked his head, very wolflike, and nodded approvingly. “You’ve done a marvelous job. It would be a miracle if Ian found you in this disguise. Are you hungry yet?” he asked, completely changing the subject.
Ember’s stomach growled loudly, answering his question. He put an arm around her shoulder and thumped her on the back. “Then let’s go eat.” Ember took several steps forward before realizing Shad wasn’t with her. She stopped and turned. He was looking at her as if he wasn’t sure whether to laugh or pull out his hair. “What?” she asked, feeling self-conscious.
“We’ve got to work on the way you move.”
“Why?”
“You walk like a girl,” he said, his dimples starting to show.
Ember flipped her hair and strolled away. “Well, I certainly hope so. I am a girl.”
Shad threw back his head and laughed. “Not today, you’re not. I wish you could see yourself.” Shad simpered past her, and if that was anything similar to what she looked like, he was right. Her walk definitely needed help. Ember snickered and shook her head. For having had the morning from helar, the day hadn’t turned out so badly at all. At least now she could eat.