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Percy waited just outside the school doors while Anna went inside to pick up Kylie. He hardly knew what he felt as he waited for the two of them to emerge.
It had taken him almost two weeks to calm down after his sister’s bombshell confession, and in the six months since, he’d done some serious soul searching. The moment his talk with his sister had concluded, he’d known deep down that he was a father. He knew Anna Mae better than anyone else on Earth; better than her own family knew her, and he knew there was no way she’d have an abortion because his sister had pressured her to do so. If anything, all Jamie’s willingness to “help” had done, was to solidify the fact that Anna would have the baby.
Percy had gone to Anna’s Aunt Mamie to beg for her current address, but once he’d had it he’d been seized by indecision. Aunt Mamie had flat-out refused to confirm or deny whether Anna had a child, yet she’d encouraged him to got to Canada to talk to her himself. Percy hadn’t known what to make of such strange behavior, so he’d decided to take some time to properly analyze his own feelings before trying to talk to Anna again. There were so many possible outcomes to showing up on her doorstep when she almost certainly had his child, and he’d had no idea which one was the most probable. In all his ponderings in the last six months, he hadn’t once considered the fact that their child would have serious health problems.
He’d spent weeks preparing himself to be reasonable even in the face of almost certain rejection from her, but he’d grown angry when faced with her initial response. It had taken him a moment to realize that it was his unfortunate timing that had her so riled up. By the time the bus had left, his ire had cooled and other emotions had taken over. He’d quickly been overwhelmed by the fact that his child, the child whose existence he hadn’t even been aware of until six months ago, the child who had consumed his every thought for weeks, was only yards away from him. But then the bus had driven on, and he’d had to wait another hour.
Just when he thought the anticipation would drive him crazy, the door to the school opened and the two most important girls in his life walked out. Kylie’s hand rested inside Anna’s, and she skipped and smiled the whole way down the school steps. The sunlight glinting off her bouncing, golden-streaked curls brought a huge smile to his face. She reminded him of a magical little sprite, and he had to consciously tell himself that she was not some mythical creature. That amazing little person skipping toward him was his flesh and blood, half him and half the woman he loved. She was his daughter.
He met them at the bottom of the steps. His first instinct was to scoop Kylie up in his arms and swing her round and round as his father had often done to him, but he restrained himself. He still didn’t know all the details of her illness and physical limitations. He smiled at the two of them and let Anna take the lead with the introductions.
“Kylie, do you remember how we talked about going down to Florida to meet your father?” Anna asked in a gentle motherly tone that he hadn’t heard from her before. It brought a poignant smile to his lips.
“Yes!” Kylie giggled. “You said when I get better! I’m better now. That’s what Miss Connie said today in school!”
The sheer exuberance in her little voice brought an instant smile to Percy’s heart.
“Well, Honey, you don’t have to wait until your school break. Your father came all the way up here to see you,” Anna said as she stooped down to pick up Kylie.
Once they were face to face, he smiled at her again and said, “Hi Kylie.” None of his limited interaction with children had prepared him for this moment.
“Are you Percy Matthew Wiley?” she asked with a bubbly little grin.
“I sure am,” Percy answered. “Would you like to see my driver’s license?”
“No, Silly! I want you to pick me up and hug me. I’m strong enough to go to big kid school now!”
She reached out her little arms, and Percy took her into his. She smelled like flowery shampoo and bubble gum flavored toothpaste. “Wow, you are strong,” Matthew grunted when she wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed. “You’re even stronger than your mommy said you were.”
“And I can make my bed all by myself! Mommy, can we show Matthew my bedroom when we get home? Can we have puss-ghetti for dinner? Can Matthew help us cook dinner? Can I call Matthew Daddy? Chelsea calls her dad daddy. Can I Mom? Please?” With each word she spoke, Percy felt Kylie deepening her instant hold on his heart. She was obviously her own person, but she was charming and assertive just like her mother, and she had his eyes and nose.
“Of course Matthew can stay for dinner,” Anna said. “We’d better go home and get started on it”
Throughout the evening, Percy focused most of his attention on getting to know Kylie, his daughter. Every time he thought of her as such, a little jolt went through him. She gave him a full rundown of every minute of her day, and then she asked him every question she could think of and then some. When she showed him her bedroom, she took obvious pride in the neatly made twin bed in the center. She showed him her favorite pair of shoes and the outfit she planned to wear tomorrow. She then asked if he would “pretty please” wait for the bus with her in the morning. Everything about his first evening with his daughter was touching and magical and just plain amazing. By the time Kylie wound down and took her bath, Percy was in awe of the amount of mental energy it took to be a good parent. The last thing she said to him before she closed her eyes for the night was so touching he almost cried in front of her.
“You’re even better than Mommy said you were,” she giggled against his cheek as he hugged her good night.
“And you are even better than I could have possibly imagined,” he whispered as he kissed her baby-soft cheek. He held her close, and breathed her in for a few minutes. It had never been so difficult for him to let someone go, but eventually he managed to gently place her little head on the pillow and kiss her forehead once more before leaving her room.
He found Anna waiting for him in the hallway, and another set of longings took over his thoughts.
“She’s really something special,” Percy said as quietly as he could. “How in the world did you manage up here all alone?”
She didn’t answer his question right away. Instead, she reached out her hand and grasped his. “Would you like to sit with me to unwind? It’s been a long day,” she sighed. She tried to pull him along toward the kitchen, but he resisted and tugged her back to him.
“Anna, I don’t need to unwind,” He had a feeling she was about to start having doubts about letting him stay all evening, and the last thing he wanted to think about at this moment was all the reasons she thought he probably shouldn’t be there. “Anna,” he whispered her name when she didn’t reply. He could see in her eyes that something was troubling her, but he was almost afraid to ask what.
“Where are you staying?” she asked at length. “I’d hate for you to have to drive too far; it’s so late. I was thinking about offering you a glass of wine, but if you need to go soon I’ll understand.” Every word in her little speech was fraught with hesitation. She didn’t seem at all like the commanding little Anna who had demanded that he stay in the car earlier. He’d never seen her beat around the bush about anything before, and he had to fight back a smile as he considered his answer.
“I think a glass of wine sounds like a great idea, but I’ll get it. You go relax, and I’ll bring the wine,” he said with a smile. He then lifted her hand and brushed his lips over her knuckles. Her skin felt soft and warm against his lips, and he detected the slight fragrance of her favorite soap. He closed his eyes as a memory of them showering together sprang to his mind.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked.
He opened his eyes and murmured, “I don’t know if I should tell you.”
“It can’t be any worse than what I’m imagining,” she sighed.
“What
are you imagining, Anna?” he asked as he pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her waist.
“That Kylie exhausted you, and you’d rather go to your hotel than stay and have a glass of wine with me,” she admitted with a sad look. “Once you’re alone, you’ll start thinking more about how wrong I was to keep her from you, and I’m not sure if you’ll want to come back.”
“I don’t get exhausted by cute little almost-five-year-olds,” he said as he stooped down to pick her up. She released a quiet little squeal of surprise, but she didn’t protest when he walked toward the living room. “If I were exhausted, would I be able to do this?” he asked as he spun her around. “Or this?” he asked when he stopped and settled on the couch with her on his lap. “Or this?” he asked again right before he kissed her.
Her lips were just as soft and warm as he remembered, and they readily parted under the gentle pressure of his kiss. When she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, he felt his pulse quicken at her response. He’d been longing to kiss her all evening, but he hadn’t dared to try any displays of affection in front of Kylie. Now that Kylie was in bed, he felt the pressing need to put all his feelings on the line. After tonight, she wouldn’t have any doubt about his intentions.
“Do you still think I’m exhausted?” he asked with a smile when they both came up for air.
“No, but I think you will be,” she said with a gamine grin as she pulled his head back down.
Their kissing quickly grew passionate, and before he knew it, his shirt was on the floor and he and Anna were both fumbling to rid him of his pants. Her silky robe slipped down to reveal the nakedness underneath, and Percy pressed his face to her chest. He listened to the rapid beat of her heart and inhaled her womanly fragrance as he tried to calm down. His body cried out for him to give in to what they both wanted, but his brain told him to slow down. He was afraid that she’d give in to the moment, and send him packing in the morning when her doubts resurfaced.
“Anna, wait,” he said when she tried to kiss him again. “As much as I want to make love to you, I think we need to talk before this goes any further.”
“Can’t we just talk after?” she whispered against his lips. “Conversations always go better when we’re both relaxed.”
“How can I be sure you won’t do what you did the last two times we made love? On one occasion you left me the same day, and on the other you made me leave you the very next morning. What’s going to happen tomorrow if we spend tonight together? Are you going to wake up and tell me that it would be better for Kylie’s health if I hightail it back to Florida before she gets too attached to me?” he asked quietly.
She sobered up quickly and pulled her robe back up before she attempted to reply. “Well, you never did tell me how long you plan on visiting,” she said in a small, vulnerable voice.
“Why do you think I came?” he asked as he buttoned his pants and pulled on his shirt.
“Earlier, you said that you came because you had to see for yourself if we’d had a child together. Now that you’ve seen her, I’m assuming you want to hash out some kind of custody agreement. You want her to spend half her time down in Florida with you and your family. I’ve been making myself sick thinking about it all evening; she’s everything to me, and we’ve never been apart for more than a couple of days, but I’m not going to fight you for custody. We have to do what’s best for Kylie, and it’s obvious how much she needs you in her life. We can’t undo what happened today, and it would be cruel to keep you two apart now that you’ve met. I won’t stand in the way of you spending time with her, Matthew.”
As she talked, Percy grew more horrified by the second. “So, you’ve been being so nice and accommodating because you’re afraid I’m going to start a custody battle that you know you can’t win…” he said softly.
“No,” she insisted. “There won’t be a battle. I’ve already researched the laws in this case, and I have a custody agreement waiting in my office. If you agree with the terms already detailed in the document, we can make it official before you go back to Florida.”
“What are the terms of the agreement?” He tried hard to keep the bitterness out of his voice as he asked, but he realized he failed miserably when he caught the guarded expression that suddenly appeared in her eyes.
“Do we have to discuss this now? You can come to my office tomorrow and read all the details anytime you want. I’ll be there all morning. I leave at noon, so I can be here when Kylie gets off the bus.”
“Just give me a quick rundown of the big picture,” he said.
She stood up and pulled her robe tighter around her shoulders as she looked down at him. “I’ll be right back,” she said with a grim look. She returned a moment later with a small box in her arms. “I was going to mail this to you someday soon, but since you decided to just show up, you can have it now. It’s everything you need to know about Kylie’s medical condition, her prognosis, and what I think is fair for a custody agreement. Why don’t you take it with you, and spend some time thinking about everything before we discuss custody. When you’re ready, you can come to my office to make it official.” Every word that tumbled out of her mouth chilled him to the core. Percy didn’t understand how they could go from where they’d been earlier in the evening to where they were now. They’d been seconds away from making love, and now she was treating him like a stranger.
“You just love to leave me big, life-changing surprises wrapped up in pretty little boxes,” he snarled as he accepted the package from her.
She glanced up at him, and the hurt in her eyes made him feel guilty for snapping at her. The last thing he wanted to do was fight. He just didn’t know how to react to her repeated attempts to distance herself from him emotionally. She’d been completely ready to give him full access to her body all night, but she kept everything else behind the massive wall she’d erected against him.
“I don’t understand why you’re so upset,” she said into the lengthy silence. “I had good reasons to leave you when I did. If I had stayed, you would have eventually gotten tired of me harping about your job with Evil Incorporated, and you would have broken up with me. From the moment we moved to Florida together, your family gave me all kinds of trouble that you don’t even know about. They never liked me, and they made it obvious that I was never going to be good enough for their precious Percy. As if that wasn’t hard enough, you took that job just because your parents pressured you, so it was obvious to me that their opinion carried more weight than mine. Once you refused to quit, I realized that you were well on your way to ending up just like the rest of your family, and I didn’t want to stick around to see it. I’m sorry I left before you had the opportunity to dump me first, but your male ego should have recovered by now.”
“How many times have I told you that I am not my family? How many times have I told you that they do not speak for me? If they were giving you a hard time behind my back, then you damn well should have said something about it!”
“What difference does it make now? What difference would it have made back then?”
“The difference, Anna, is that I would have had a talk with my mother and sister about the way they treated you. I would have told them that if they didn’t accept you as my future wife with open arms, then they were bound to lose me. The difference is that I would have quit that job eventually, because I felt less and less like the man you deserved every time I walked through those doors in the morning.”
Suddenly all the fight drained out of her, and she sat down with a single word on her lips. “Wife?” she uttered in surprise.
“Yes. I bought you a ring just after Halloween that year. I was going to propose to you on Christmas morning, but I decided to wait until things cooled down some. My family wasn’t exactly on their best behavior toward you over the holiday, and I didn’t want there to be any negative feelings when I asked. I figured it would work best if I talked
to my family first, but you left before I got up the nerve to do so.”
“You wanted to marry me?”
“Why do you seem so shocked by that?” he asked gently.
“Because I honestly thought that you didn’t want to be with me anymore. Between the friction with your family, and us fighting about your job, you seemed pretty unhappy with me. I thought you were angry with me for leaving early that Christmas. Your sister was giving me looks and snide remarks every time I turned around, and I knew that if I didn’t go home early I’d end up saying something I’d regret.”
Percy set the box aside and put his arm around her. “Anna, I was never unhappy with you; I was unhappy with the situation. I thought I could separate what I was doing at work from what kind of man I was on the inside, and the whole time you were telling me that it couldn’t be done. I was just too prideful at the time to admit that you were right. I didn’t think I’d ever have an opportunity to make that much money again, so I tried my best to keep that job from changing me. I thought I’d work there long enough to save up a big nest egg, because I wanted to start a family with you. I knew that the moment I told my family I wanted to marry you, they’d threaten to disinherit me, and I didn’t want to have money concerns hanging over our heads for years.”
“I wish we’d had this conversation before I left,” she said sadly.
“If we had, and I had asked you to marry me, what would you have said?”
“I would have said that we can manage just fine without money from your family or from that job. Between the two of us, we would have been more than okay financially. Matthew, I’ve never felt like I needed to live in a huge house. I would have told you that I would rather marry a man who didn’t have a lot of money, whom I admired and respected, than a wealthy person whose morals were questionable. I would have said yes,” she said as a single tear slid down her cheek.
“Why are you crying?” he asked.
“Because I feel like I ruined everything. We could have been married right now and living together as a family, but now I have to think about how I’m going to deal with sending Kylie to Florida when it’s your turn to live with her. If your goal for the night was to make me feel even worse than I already felt about leaving, you succeeded. I can’t imagine that there’s much else to say at this point. You can stay in the guest room, since you told Kylie you’d be here to put her on the bus in the morning. I’m going to bed now.”
Percy watched Anna leave the room. The conversation hadn’t gone as he’d expected, but he had a more positive feeling than he would have had if they hadn’t talked. At least now he knew what to expect in the morning. He picked up the box she gave him, and took it with him to the guest room. He kicked off his shoes and settled in bed to read the contents.