CHAPTER 3
BRUSH WITH DEATH
A black boar with short, yellowing tusks sticking from the corners of his mouth so that they lifted his gums into a snarl entered the Stinging Nettle. He wasn’t very big; his ragged ears reached only as high as the table tops. His hairy back was humped, he had no neck and on the side of his snout was a crooked scar. He looked like a ball of muscle.
A quick glance told Flossy all she needed to know. This boar was a soldier-type; most comfortable executing orders without question; no imagination to speak of; prizing strength above all else. He was probably a little stupid too, but that was just a guess. Everything about his appearance and bearing said he would not be trifled with; that he was dangerous.
The boar passed between the tables with a business-like trot, stopped at their booth and rudely shook himself dry. Water sprayed everywhere.
‘Steady on!’ said Flossy, turning away to avoid being drenched.
The black boar snorted as he scrutinised Flossy, then the others. ‘If you would all attend to me and come forthwith I will be convenienced,’ he said, hard little eyes daring any of them to disobey.
‘Huh?’ said Flossy.
The black boar stamped a trotter impatiently on the floor. ‘If you would attend to me and come forthwith…’
‘Oh, you want us to go somewhere,’ said Flossy. She had guessed right, he wasn’t the smartest animal in the room but he was the most dangerous.
The black boar snorted again. ‘The Mayor wants your immediate presentment; forthwith and now.’
‘I think he means that the Mayor wants to see us, Flossy,’ said Harry. Harry looked down from the table. ‘Please inform His Lionship that we will be along presently.’
The black boar turned to go, hesitated then turned back. ‘But you are not coming,’ he said, frowning.
‘We’ll just finish up here then we’ll come across. You go ahead and let the Mayor know,’ said Harry.
‘But the Mayor told me to bring you all forthwith and now. You all must come, now. That is what he said.’
Harry picked up his sunglasses and turned to Reginald. ‘I’m afraid Larry’s story will have to wait. Apparently we have been summoned “forthwith and now”’—he said this with a wry smile, making sure he was facing away so his smile wasn’t seen—‘and so we best not keep His Lionship, or Sergeant Boar for that matter, waiting any longer.’
Flossy slid off the bench seat and stepped aside. Harry slid from the seat and dropped to the floor beside her.
‘Coming, Flossy?’ asked Harry.
‘Right behind you, Captain Harry,’ she replied stiffly, with a smile and a short, sharp salute.
Harry patted himself down and looked about.
‘My shout this time,’ said Reginald through the open window.
‘You sure?’ asked Harry.
‘Quite. You picked up the bill last time, I think.’
‘You know I didn’t, but thanks all the same, Reginald. I’m a little tight at the present time,’ said Harry.
He made his way between the tables to the front door of the café.
‘Thanks, Reginald,’ said Flossy as she followed after Harry.
‘You’re welcome, Flossy Fairweather,’ the big elephant called after her, eyes sparkling with pleasure.
Sergeant Boar was waiting for them outside. Reginald approached through the light rain that was little more than low cloud, droplets of water dancing in the air and beading wetly.
‘To the Mayor, then!’ Harry announced, putting on his sunglasses smartly. ‘Lead the way, Sergeant.’
The black boar led the way. Harry followed, walking in an overly dignified manner; tail held aloft and looking about with airs; as if he owned the whole town.
Flossy laughed as she adjusted her sword then jogged to catch up. She hoped her clothes were acceptable for an audience with the Mayor. She wore a burgundy vest over an open-necked shirt which was tucked into cotton pants she’d trimmed with lace. A broad belt slung across one shoulder held her scabbard and sword. Her jacket was dirty and damp but it at least held in some of the warmth. She would very much like a bath and change of clothes but these would have to wait.
They marched through the cold, misty rain using Reginald as a kind of walking windbreak. Water droplets danced around them as if they weren’t sure they were ready to fall. The black boar marched ahead, hairy rump glistening wetly.
‘Are his teeth supposed to stick out like that? Or are they called tusks?’ whispered Flossy to Harry.
‘The Sergeant’s?’ asked Harry, conspiratorially. He drew closer so he wasn’t overheard.
Flossy nodded.
‘He can’t help it. He’s a Throwback.’
‘A what?’
Reginald, who must have been listening, rebuked Harry from the corner of his mouth.
‘Sorry, I should have said, “a Random”. Throwback’s impolite in most respectable circles.’ Harry had a gleam in his eye as he said this, as if that was why he used the word in the first place.
‘I don’t know either word,’ whispered Flossy. The boar was well ahead of them, and in front of Reginald. It was unlikely he could hear but she didn’t want to be the source of more conflict, especially as she was about to appear before the Mayor on behalf of all of humankind. First impressions were important and so far things hadn’t started well. She couldn’t afford another mistake.
Reginald turned his head toward them without slowing, and glared. He swayed as he walked.
‘Ask me later,’ said Harry, with a childish grin. ‘There’s a schoolteacher nearby and he’s got big ears.’
They’d moved on only a few more paces when Flossy yelled ‘Harry!’ and pushed him roughly aside.
A lump of stone as big as a watermelon slammed into the ground exactly where Harry had been standing. It cracked into two on the cobblestones, one half bouncing towards Reginald who deftly stepped aside.
They all moved a safe distance away from the old building that rose up beside them and looked up.
The building seemed to slump in the middle from weariness. It adjoined the buildings either side to form the wall of buildings that framed Town Square. Its doors and windows were owl sized and under its eaves, three stories up, was a row of carved stone snakeheads with open mouths from which rainwater poured into the square below. The lump of stone was one of these, now broken off.
‘Oh my. That was close,’ said Reginald.
‘Thanks Flossy. You saved my life,’ said Harry.
Flossy had half drawn her sword. She squinted at the roof line above. ‘I saw movement up there just before it fell,’ she said.
‘Come now. Are you saying you think someone threw it down deliberately?’ said Reginald.
‘Things fall off the old buildings sometimes, Flossy. And that one was built by the owls hundreds of years ago. It’s a wonder it’s still standing,’ said Harry.
Flossy frowned. ‘But I did see something.’ There had been a shadowy shape.
Sergeant Boar grunted impatiently, as if he didn’t know why they had stopped, or didn’t care. ‘The Mayor said to come forthwith, and now,’ he said.