Chapter Thirty-One
Kyle came home at two in the afternoon, a time when he was normally at work. He walked in, hung his coat, and came into the kitchen where Ben was sitting at the table. Ben was reading a newspaper, and eating a mid-afternoon snack.
“Hey, man,” Ben greeted him with a mouth full of food.
Kyle let out a big sigh and was noticeably perturbed. “I’m having the worst week,” he said. “First my team loses and now this.”
“Let me guess, the new treatment your team was working on to stave off the effects of Alzheimer’s disease was developed by Lucius Labs?”
“Yeah, how did you—”
“I believe they are based out of Switzerland if I’m not mistaken,” Ben said with a smirk. By this point, Kyle made the connection and realized Ben’s secret manuscript had let him know in advance.
“As you know, Kyle, whoever goes to market first has a huge advantage. I suspect your funding will be cut and you will have to start an entirely new thesis. It definitely sucks, unless of course you have Alzheimer’s, but there’s really nothing you can do about it, right?”
“What are you getting at, and why do you have that stupid grin on your face?”
“My friend, do you remember the time I was getting beat up and you came to my rescue?”
“Which one?”
“Good point. I suppose it doesn’t really matter. What I’m getting at is you’ve always been there for me. You’re a very loyal friend and I’ve never really had the chance to repay my debt to you. As a matter of fact, I haven’t even really said thank you.”
“Ben, enough with the theatrics, what are you trying to say?”
“First, I want to say thank you for being such a good friend to me. Second, we don’t have to worry about money for a little while.”
“What did you do, Ben?” Kyle said, not sharing Ben’s enthusiasm.
“I think it’s best if you don’t know too much. You should remain innocent?”
“Ben, if you’ve done something illegal, I want to know about it. As you said, our fates are entwined. Whatever you do affects me too.”
“If you must know, it all started when I robbed the robber a few weeks ago.”
“You didn’t.”
“Oh I did,” Ben said proudly. “Why don’t you have a seat, I think you’re going to like this one.”
Kyle pulled out a chair opposite to Ben and sat down.
“So the night I asked you to rob the robber, I ended up going on my own.”
“Wait, how did you know where the robber lived?”
“Sorry, I thought I told you. I followed him.”
Kyle stared back with a blank look on his face.
“I knew the bank was going to be robbed, so I waited outside for the robber to come out and when he did, I followed him. Actually, it wasn’t my original intent, I thought I had lost him, but we coincidentally ended up sitting next to each other on the bus.”
“Strange coincidence.”
“I know, right? Anyway, I went back to his house at night, but I went prepared. I brought a knife, some rope, and some other supplies. Oh, and I was dressed head to toe in black so I would be camouflaged.”
Kyle rolled his eyes.
“I made my way onto the roof like a ninja and unfastened the chimney crown. The thing was awkward and heavy, and I was also trying not to make a lot of noise. I struggled to remove it, and when I did, I ended up just resting it against the side of the chimney while finding the sweet spot to balance it on the peak of the roof. Keep this in mind because it’s going to become an integral part of the story later.”
“So let me guess, you entered the house through the chimney like Santa Clause?”
“Yes, exactly!” Ben said laughing. “Actually, it’s funny you say that because the only reason I was able to discover this method of entry was because a cat showed me how.”
“A cat?”
“Yeah, and guess what the cat’s name was?”
“No clue.”
“Santa Claws! Get it, like claws,” Ben said, demonstrating a scratching motion.
“Cute… and ironic.”
“So I scale down the chimney and nearly break my leg on the dismount, but I’m happy because I made it inside. I turn on my flashlight and start to sneak around like a cat burglar. As I’m shining my flashlight around, I notice this guy has a punching bag and a weight bench and I start to freak out a bit. At this point I’m thinking about turning back, but I can’t exactly climb up the chimney, right, so I have no choice but to go upstairs. I should also mention that I had been drinking a bit too, so by the time I reached the top of the stairs, my buzz started to kick in. The alcohol and adrenaline circulated in my blood and formed a powerful concoction.”
“Alright, so you’re in this guy’s house, you’re feeling invincible, then what happened?”
“I search the entire first floor, but found nothing. By the way, the guy had pretty much the identical house we have. I knew the layout without needing the flashlight. So after searching everywhere, I crept up the stairs, and entered the man’s bedroom. He was sleeping so I quietly tiptoed over to his bed and from there we got into a little tussle.”
“You attacked a man in his sleep?” Kyle asked, stating his disapproval.
“No, he woke up and attacked me first. I fought back in self-defence.”
“And what if he didn’t wake up? You would’ve attacked a man in his sleep.”
“Something like that. I didn’t exactly have a fully formed plan in mind. I figured I would think of something.”
Kyle put palm to face and shook his head at Ben’s stupidity. “And you won this tussle?” he asked.
“Hey, don’t look so surprised. I can get down when I need to.”
“Sorry, go on.”
“So yeah, this guy was really strong and overpowered me quite easily. He was on top of me, strangling me, and then something incredible happened.”
“What’s that?”
“You remember the cat, right?”
“Santa Claws.”
“Yes, well my guess is that the cat was playing around with the chimney crown that I had haphazardly leaned up against the chimney, and it fell. It tumbled down the roof and caused the loudest commotion. The robber got distracted for a moment, but that was all the time I needed to kick him off me and run away.”
“Great, I can’t wait to hear how this ends.”
“What I did was actually quite brilliant given the short amount of time I had to make a decision. As I ran out of the room, I figured I had two options. One was to make a mad dash out the front door and begin a foot race down the block. But this guy was much more athletic than I was and would have undoubtedly caught up to me and beat my face to a pulp. Besides, I had just been nearly strangled to death and I hurt my ankle getting into the house so I might not have even made it past the front porch. So instead of having this maniac chase me, I thought my only option was to hide and instigate a sneak attack.”
“A sneak attack?” Kyle reiterated.
“Yes, and it was really quite effective too. When the robber came out to look for me, he stopped at the top of the stairs and listened for my footsteps. But I was hiding in the adjacent room, which was equivalent to where your room is. Then unexpectedly, I came charging out and shoved him as hard as I could down the stairs.”
“You shoved a man down a set of stairs?”
“It was in self defense, Kyle. The man was trying to kill me.”
“Do you blame him?” Kyle asked.
“No, but I was justified in what I did, and I would do it again.”
“Alright, whatever,” Kyle said letting out a big sigh of disappointment. “What happened next?”
“I tied him up and searched his room. In the back of his closet, I found a makeshift cubbyhole where there was over eight grand in money and jewellery in a secret stash. I took it all.”
“Wow, I can’t believe you did all that.”
“I know, right?
”
“So what did you do with the money? — which is probably traceable.”
“That’s what I thought. I ended up placing small bets all over the city, betting against the Stampeders, and as you know, the Stampeders lost.”
“So how much money did you make?”
“Enough to get us by for a while.”
“You’re crazy,” Kyle said, unsure what to make of his friend’s actions.
“Kyle, I haven’t even told you the craziest part yet.”
“What’s crazier than breaking into a known bank robber’s house, robbing him, and using the money to win a bet, which you happened to know the outcome based on a book that foretells the future?”
“You’re right, that is pretty crazy, but let me try to convince you anyway.”
Ben took the financial paper that was in front of him and slid it across the table to Kyle.
“What’s this?”
“That my friend is today’s newspaper with yesterday’s stock report. Remember those winnings I made on the Grey Cup? I took them into a financial firm where I opened a trading account. I then bought stock in a small company called Lucius Labs — you may have heard of them. Yeah, as it turns out they released this really promising drug to treat the effects of Alzheimer’s disease and their stock surged. Fortunately for me, I happened to have placed a buy order before the news was announced. Call it a hunch,” Ben said smugly as he winked at Kyle.
The expression on Kyle’s face was of total disapproval.
“Ben, how can you be so foolish!” he said “You can’t just walk into a brokerage firm, buy a large stake of a company nobody has ever heard of, and then sell it the day after they announce their new drug.”
“No, Kyle, you’re wrong, you can do that! That’s exactly what I did.”
“Ben, don’t get smart with me. I’m being serious, you could get into serious trouble.”
“How so?”
“Don’t you think it’s a little fishy that a person who was broke, suddenly goes on a hot streak and everything he touches turns to gold like he’s King Midas? They investigate this kind of stuff, and once they find out your roommate works for a competing drug lab, they’ll assume I gave you insider information. Both of us could get arrested and go to jail.”
“But you didn’t give me insider information.”
“Good luck proving that. Besides, what are you going to tell them when they asked you how you got the money for the stock?”
“I’ll tell them the truth, I got it from my Sports Select winnings.”
“Okay, and where did you get the money for the Sports Select?”
“I’ll say I found it.”
“Oh great, you found eight grand, which happens to be the exact amount stolen from a bank in your neighbourhood, which you are a suspect in the case! Come on, Ben. You have to be smart about this stuff.”
Although Ben did not want to admit it, Kyle was making a lot of sense. Ben was starting to feel quite anxious. To calm his nerves, he poured himself a glass of Scotch and choked it back.