"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask Lila for the thousandth time.
She piles the last box into her trunk and slides her glasses over her eyes. "Hmmm. . . let me think. Go back to a home where I'm nothing but a burden? Or go back to the campus with you and have some fun?"
I pick some dirt out from underneath my fingernail. "I'm just making sure, before you get too committed. "
She takes my hands and gives them a swing. "I want to go with you, okay, so go say good-bye to your dad so we can hit the road. "
"Okay, I'll be right back. " I head across the front lawn for the door when Ethan's truck pulls up in my driveway.
I walk up to his window and rest my arms on it. "So you got my message I take it?"
He looks like he just came from work, grease on his face and clothes, and his dark hair has some shavings of rust in it. "Yeah, I figured I'd come and say good-bye to both of you. "
I slant my head to the side and pierce him with an accusing gaze. "Don't try and pretend that you're here for me. "
He places his hand over his heart, faking hurt. "My heart is breaking and you're making jokes. Wow, you really are evil. "
"Yeah, yeah," I back up so he can open the door and climb out. "I'll give you two a minute. "
"I think you've overestimating what's going on between the two of us. "
"Well, I wouldn't have to if one of you would tell me what's going on. "
He shrugs and then rounds the back of the truck. Rolling my eyes, I walk into the house to tell my dad I'm leaving and that I plan on coming back in a couple weeks to meet up with Dean. After a long talk on the phone with him - and I'm sure a lot of persuading from Caroline - we decided to meet up here, when Dean can take off work, and give my dad an ultimatum. It's probably one of the hardest things I'll have to do, because I know there will be things said during the conversation that will hurt me. I'm going to push through it, though, because now I understand what I can handle.
I find him on the couch, eating a microwave dinner, with a six-pack on the table in front of him. He's watching the television, with a cigarette in his hand, and he barely notices me enter the room.
"Hey Dad," I say from the doorway. "I'm getting ready to leave. "
He rips his eyes from the television, startled, and I wonder if he was even watching it or if he was dwelling in his thoughts. "Oh, okay, well drive safely. "
I rub my sweaty palms together and walk into the room. "Dean and I are going to be coming back in a few weeks. "
He sets his tray down and grabs a beer. "What for?"
I pat my hands on the sides of my legs uneasily. "We want to talk to you about something. "
He sets the beer down. "I thought Dean was still here. "
I shake my head, feeling guiltier about leaving. "He went home a week or two ago. . . but Dad, can you try and take care of yourself a little bit better?" I take a deep breath and throw a hint out into the open. "And maybe stop drinking so much?"
He glances at the row of beers in front of him like he just realized they were there. "Oh, I don't drink that much, do I?"
I sigh and sit down on the couch beside him. "You didn't used to, but now it's kinda all you do. "
He bobs his head up and down. "Alright, I'll try to cut back. "
I know he won't, but hopefully Dean and I will be able to convince him to go to rehab where he can get the help and counseling that he needs. I give him a hug, even though he winces. Then I walk away, hoping he'll be okay, but knowing that until he makes the decision to change all I can do is try to help him.