“I shall refuse, Mr. Dean.” Susan said with conviction.
“And will you continue to refuse for five more years until I have enough money to keep us and you are of the age of consent?” he asked her.
She did not speak at first. So, he utterly rejected the idea of an elopement. He was intent on making her wait. The thought saddened her, but if it was the only way to have him, she must accede. “I will, sir,” she said with regret.
She looked intently into his eyes; there she saw relief mixed with love.
Fitzwilliam spoke again. “I do not believe you realize what you are asking of her. You cannot expect her to refuse for five more years. How will the young lady withstand her parents’ relentless insistence on marriage? I have some experience in these matters, and I know how persistent parents can be.”
“You may have too weak a will, but I shall withstand my parents’ bullying,” Susan spoke firmly.
“Consider my plan first,” Fitzwilliam suggested. “I shall speak to your parents and insist that you are too young and that we have decided to postpone the wedding for some years. We will continue our engagement, while you make frequent visits to London, ostensibly to visit me. On these occasions, I shall of course escort you to visit Dean, either here or at his abode, when he has found some place more suitable to entertain young ladies of your stature. We shall keep postponing the date until five years have passed, when we shall break off our engagement. Your parents can make no objection to your marriage at that time. It will still require five years’ wait, but at least those five years will be passed with minimal parental interference and with opportunities for you to visit one another.”
“It seems too good to be true,” Susan said.
“I agree,” Dean added. “You have lied to us already, sir. Why should we trust you now?”
“I am hurt by your mistrust. I have always acted with the best interests of Miss Kirke in mind, and I always shall. What do you say?”
“I agree to it,” she replied.
The look that Dean gave her was unmistakably one of disappointment. She looked away from him briefly, feeling momentary shame. Then she met his gaze again. “What choice do I have, Mr. Dean?” she pleaded.
Chapter 16
While Fitzwilliam discussed the postponement with her father, Susan sat in her dressing room considering the few options that were open to her in the new circumstances in which she found herself. The disappointed look that Dean had bestowed upon her when she agreed to Fitzwilliam’s latest plan was etched on her heart. All the way back to his London abode, she had listened to the gentleman talk about what he would say to her parents to persuade them the marriage should be postponed. His story was well crafted and persuasive. It was evident that Fitzwilliam was a practiced and consummate liar. It seemed to be his nature to lie convincingly to anyone about anything. Even his act of swearing that he would be truthful to her was a lie.
She was sick with that knowledge. Dean was right to be disappointed in her. How could she have agreed to accept Fitzwilliam as her intermediary? Again, she asked herself, what choice did she have? She was fatigued from finding herself totally dependent on others. Just once in her life, she wanted to take her destiny into her own hands, but it was completely impossible. A woman was subject to her father’s wishes until she married, and then she was subjugated to her husband. Perhaps when those two men were dead and she was old and no longer of interest to anyone, the world would leave her alone and let her have her own way.
Did a woman have any choice in her fate? It was impossible to choose one’s father, but a woman could at least have a right of veto in the choice of a husband. If there had been a real choice between Dean and Fitzwilliam, Susan knew without a doubt which one she would choose.
Even though everything in her nature strained against the brutality of waiting another five years for her marriage, she would have striven to do so for the sake of her love for Dean. The greater difficulty in her estimation was the fact that for those five years she would be at the mercy of Fitzwilliam, who had proven himself an utter liar and therefore unreliable.
So she determined to devise a plan to go to Dean herself, without any intermediary, while she was still in London. If she could convince him to marry her now, she would be free of the tyranny of both her parents and Fitzwilliam. It was an easy decision for her to make, but she could not see a way to execute it.
How could a single gentlewoman with no friends arrange to move herself from one part of London to another? Ladies were not permitted to go out alone, except perhaps to church. Susan considered this. It was almost a week until Sunday, and once they had heard about the postponement, her parents would probably want to return to Kirke Hall before then. Even if they could be persuaded to stay, they would think it odd if she expressed the sudden desire to attend church. Then there was the possibility that either they or Fitzwilliam would wish to accompany her to the service. And, of course, Dean would attend a Presbyterian service. She would have to make inquiries where such a church was located, and her parents would not allow her to attend if they knew where she was going. She needed to think of something else, something that could be arranged sooner.
On what other occasion was a gentlewoman granted some measure of freedom? Suddenly, she remembered something that Fitzwilliam had said on the matter earlier. When was it? It was something about the posted bill that he had read out to her at the Vauxhall Gardens. He had alluded to the great liberty of expression to be enjoyed at a masquerade. A masquerade! That was it!
It would require no acting ability for Susan to convince her parents and Fitzwilliam that she would like to attend a masquerade ball because, truly, she would. His description had piqued her curiosity. Neither would it be difficult to persuade Fitzwilliam to accompany her because he had already expressed his enthusiasm for such assemblies. It would not even be a hindrance if her parents desired to accompany her because, once she was there, she was certain it would not be difficult to become lost in the crowd. She had never before seen so many people all together in one place as she had seen today at Vauxhall Gardens, but at a masquerade, there would be an even greater multitude promenading in their habits! Once she had eluded her escort, she could slip away from the Vauxhall Gardens and hire a chaise to take her to Dean’s address. However, again the difficulty arose of performing this act as a woman alone once she had left the freedom of the masquerade and reentered the confines of society.
Suddenly the idea came to Susan. She would require a masquerade disguise, so why should she not attend in the apparel of a man? When she slipped away from the masque still dressed as a man, there would be no difficulty in hiring a chaise to take her to his address. She would be afforded the same freedom of movement as any man. Susan was suddenly impatient to put her plan into execution.
When Fitzwilliam came to her apartment to apprise her of her parents’ acceptance of the news of the nuptial postponement, she was so filled with excitement about her plans that it took all of her restraint to listen calmly and comment on his news dispassionately.
“Your father was greatly distressed at the postponement and questioned me on the reason for the delay. I explained that you needed more education in the art of housewifery and that you were still too immature, as we had agreed upon. Finally, what could he say? He could not tell me the true reason he wanted you to be married so quickly, so he agreed to a one-year postponement.”
“One year! It ought to be longer than that, sir.”
“There will be no difficulty in extending the postponement from one year to the next. Such a gradual extension will not be remarked upon. However, if I had asked at once for a five-year postponement, it would have been suspicious, would it not?”
“You are right, sir,” she said. It hardly mattered now, in view of her plans. “I thank you for your efforts on my behalf. Now I have another favour to ask you.”
“What is that, madam?”
“I have reconsidered my decision about the masquerade to be held
at Vauxhall Gardens tomorrow evening. Since I am so rarely in London, and since I have never been to a masquerade before, it would be foolish to let such an opportunity pass. You expressed such enthusiasm for masquerades that I hoped you could be persuaded to escort me to the event.”
“Why, of course, I would be most delighted to accompany you, but the masquerade is tomorrow! There is scarcely time to prepare. On such short notice, we shall be obliged to purchase ready-made habits from Jackson’s Habit Warehouse. They will be of such inferior quality!”
“Sir! I have anticipated such a problem, and I thought, would it not be amusing for me to go as a young man? It would be a simple arrangement for me to wear your clothes. We are much the same size. Perhaps with a few alterations, they might be made to fit. I can comb my hair flat and tie it in a queue.”
Mr. Fitzwilliam clapped his hands in evident excitement. “How perfectly delightful that would be! Oh, let us make the illusion complete. If you are to be a man, then I shall masquerade as a woman!” He snapped his fingers and cut a caper. “And I shall wear your wedding gown! Since the wedding has been postponed, and the fashion will be changed in a year, you will have no immediate need of it. When we go to the mantua-makers tomorrow for the final fitting, I shall be the one to try it on and have it finished to fit me.”
Susan was utterly horrified that her wedding gown was to become Fitzwilliam’s, but she bit her tongue and said nothing. His enthusiasm accorded so well with her plans, and besides, it would not be possible for her to wear the gown when she married Dean. “What about my parents?” she asked.
“I am sure that they can be persuaded to stay for one more day, if only to appease their daughter, who must, after all, be so disappointed in the loss of a wedding. Are you not, madam?”
“I am, sir, especially in the loss of a wedding gown.”
Fitzwilliam laughed.
“But might my parents not forbid this excursion on the grounds that I have not yet been presented to society?”
“For any other occasion, perhaps, but at a masquerade, you will be masked and unknown at any rate. It is quite exciting, you will see. A mask is so liberating. One can be or do almost anything and no one knows, or would pretend to know, who you are. In your case, they cannot know you, as you have not yet been presented in society. Such a situation will only add to the intrigue.”
“It sounds most interesting, Fitzwilliam. I look forward to it with great anticipation.”
Chapter 17
It was ten o’clock at night before they finally departed for Vauxhall Gardens. Susan had been dressed and ready hours before, but Fitzwilliam did not emerge from his dressing room and would permit no one to enter but Mrs. Kirke’s maid, whom he had borrowed to perform his toilette. When Susan stood at his door and called for him to hurry, he replied, “Have patience. The world does not arrive until late in the evening.” So Susan was obliged to wait in her room with fear gnawing at her guts as she tried to concentrate on every detail of her plan to avoid thinking of its implications.
Already she felt a different person wearing a man’s attire. Being able to walk without stays binding her waist relieved her of one nagging pain, which she had exchanged for the minor discomfort of having her breasts bound. Nevertheless, as she paced up and down in her dressing room, it was certain that she had more space to move without the wide girth of a skirt surrounding her at every turn, and without the enormous pile of hair on her head, her mind felt free, as well. She amused herself with the thought that it would have been very pleasant to be a man, if she had not been obliged to wait for a woman to be ready!
At last Fitzwilliam was satisfied with his toilette and came out to be inspected. Susan hid the pang of jealousy she felt at seeing him in the gown that she would have worn to so much more advantage. It was the French gown of silk brocade with gold and silk embroidery that she had chosen, with the addition of engageantes, or flounced cuffs of triple-layered needlepoint lace. The stomacher brooch he had bought her glittered where his breasts should have been. He teetered perilously on high-heeled silk shoes with silver embroidery and glittering paste buckles. On top of his head was a great high splendid wig that made his head appear enormous. If it were not for the abundance of paint on his face, she might even have believed him to be as beautiful as she proclaimed him to be. He was certainly more handsome as a woman than he was as a man, she thought.
At the entrance to Vauxhall, they debarked from their coach at the same time as numerous other characters were debarking from theirs. She recognized a milkmaid, a sultan, and a wolf, but there were other habits she was not so certain of.
Upon entering the garden, Susan was bedazzled by the splendour of the decorations. She had never before seen a garden illuminated at night as her father could not afford the expense of so many candles. The globes that were hung on trees and shrubs briefly painted what they touched in a ghostly white, creating deep black shadows that appeared to flicker like devils in the darkness. However, it was the real devils and other creatures emerging suddenly among the trees that startled Susan at every turn. Just as she was becoming accustomed to the strangeness of the beings about her, she was shocked by the sight of a woman standing next to her wearing little more than a fig leaf over her private parts. Susan’s face reddened behind its mask, and she tried to keep her transfixed eyes from staring at the woman’s naked breasts.
“Do I know you?” the woman asked.
“No,” Susan stammered as she walked away quickly.
Fitzwilliam hurried after her, looking most amused. “Now that is a liberated woman! But I do not wish to be so liberated. Please take my arm and escort me, will you, sir?”
Susan reluctantly took his arm and changed the subject. She indicated a masquerader dressed in a loose black-hooded cloak. “What is that habit, Fitzwilliam?”
“It’s called a domino. Those who choose to wear such habits are frightfully unimaginative. There are far too many of them, don’t you think?”
Susan looked about her, but rather than confirming his opinion, she was more impressed by the endless variety of habits around her. “I don’t know what some of these costumes are supposed to be.”
“Some of them are abstractions. You may ask them who they are.”
Susan immediately turned to the woman next to her dressed elaborately in a winged gown. “Who are you?”
“I am Curiosity,” the woman replied.
Susan would have liked more time to explore these wonders and speak with more of the “creatures,” but, as distracting as these oddities were, she had not forgotten her primary purpose in being there. It would be necessary to leave the masquerade almost immediately or it would be too late to call at Dean’s apartment, if it were not already. The first step in her plan was to slip away from Fitzwilliam at the earliest opportunity.
Fitzwilliam made this difficult as he hung on to her arm and guided her through the throng. Every so often he tittered and hid his face behind his pierced ivory fan, batting his eyes as he did so. His use of the fan was so vigorous and intentional that Susan thought he must be in possession of a secret code. Certainly some young men seemed to understand the language because, before long, they were surrounded by a coterie of men and other beasts.
One of the young men, dressed as a Harlequin, spoke to Susan. “Who is your beautiful friend, sir?”
She had been instructed by Fitzwilliam not to reveal their true identities, so she responded with the question: “Do I know you?”
The young man did not answer but instead seized Fitzwilliam’s hand. Fitzwilliam smacked his suitor’s hand with his fan. “Do not be so bold, sir.”
The suitor nursed his hand with exaggerated strokes as the other young men laughed.
Another suitor stepped forward to try his chance, this one a sultan, or so Susan supposed by his costume. “May I get your ladyship some refreshment?”
Fitzwilliam’s fan opened wide and was waved so vigorously that she could feel the breeze on her face. He giggled.
/> Susan saw an opportunity of escape. “That is my obligation as your escort, madam.” She unhooked her arm from his.
“Oh, please do not leave me alone with these beasts!” Fitzwilliam said with mock horror.
“I shall be right back,” Susan said. She hoped that he would not soon look for her, but when she looked back over her shoulder, he was basking in the attentions of the young men and would not soon miss her company.
“Do I know you?” a voice said at her other side. She turned to see one of the young men dressed as lion had accompanied her.
“Oh,” she said.
“Pardon me if I startled you but you must not think me enamoured of that fop, I mean, that hussy.” He snorted. “I am more intrigued by you.”
The lion-man was walking so close to her that Susan felt uncomfortable. She realized there was no one to come to her aid if he made improper advances.
“The refreshments are this way,” he said. “You are heading in the wrong direction.”
“Oh, thank you.” How annoying! How was she to get rid of this unpleasant man? He grinned at her, revealing blackened teeth instead of fangs.
“Oh,” she said, “Oh,” pretending to be vexed. “I have just realized that I have no money to pay for refreshments. How embarrassing!”
“I could lend you the money.” He winked. “Sir.”
“Oh, would you? How kind!” She wished she had a fan so that she could wave it as Fitzwilliam did. “Do you know,” she said, “what would be even kinder?” She removed her mask. “As a lady—I know I should not reveal that I am a lady to you,” she waved her mask like a fan, “but as a lady, I should not purchase the refreshments myself. Would you fetch them for my friend and me? I shall meet you back there.” She indicated the party they had just left.
The lion-man nodded. “It would be my pleasure, madam, and your true identity is a secret with me.” He winked at her, lasciviously, she thought.
“I am ever so grateful,” she said, watching till she could not longer see him in the crowd. At last, she thought, I can get away.