There was no discourse required; our lifelong friendship had only been further fortified by our recent experiences, along with our capacity to communicate without the complexity of words. I never would’ve chosen to bring Jay into my mess, but selfishly, I was glad she was by my side, as she had always been. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her.
I didn’t want to have to deal with Bailey, or plan an imaginary funeral for my mother, or say goodbye to Michael. I just wanted to lie in front of the fire forever.
The time to leave came too soon, and Michael returned to the room to break the news. “Everything checked out. Time to go home, Ladies.”
Jayden and I gathered our belongings while Michael put Artemis into her backpack. He handed her to me, and then a blue Hopper. “This will get you back to your car. Zhou said he left it ‘somewhere familiar to Miss Sam’, and it would be a fifteen minute drive home.”
“You’re not coming with us?” Jay asked.
He smiled, “No, but I won’t be far behind.”
I strapped the Hopper to my wrist and linked arms with Jay. “Ready?” I asked her.
She put her head on my shoulder, and said, “It will be nice to sleep in my own bed tonight.” I took that to mean yes.
I twisted the face of the Hopper, but looked up at Michael once more before pressing the trigger buttons. I whispered, “Thank you.” Then, in a flash of light we were gone.
And the flash of light deposited us in the front seat of my Blazer, good Ol’ Blue. I was feeling more like myself already. I found the keys in the center console, and put them in the ignition, but looked over at Jay before starting the car. “You don’t hate me for all of this, do you?” I had to check.
“Are you kidding?” She laughed, clearly not upset with me at all. “I was beginning to wonder if my life was ever going to get interesting.” She leaned over to hug me, and whispered, “I could never hate you.” I turned to the wheel, and she added, “Unless you decide to go after Kristoff too. Then I would have to take you down.”
Laughing, I started the engine. “You can keep your man-candy. I’ve got both hands full already.”
She waited quietly while I drove out of the parking structure - she knows how nervous they make me. When we got out, I recognized the campus as Cal Poly Pomona.
Jay went right back to the question she wanted to ask, “Do you know what you’re going to do?”
I shrugged and answered, “I have to do what Future Michael asked. I would rather tell Bailey to take a hike, but I can’t.”
“So, you’re going to play double agent?” She said it more as a statement than a question.
“I don’t know if I would call it that, but I need to know what Bailey’s intentions are. I need to know if he’s part of the Brotherhood of Asclepius, or if our meeting was pure coincidence. But, cutting to your next question, I won’t be moving in with him, at least not right now.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean I’ll avoid it as long as possible, until we find out the truth, but if I have to in order to get answers, then I will. That doesn’t mean I’m marrying him, or anything.” I had it all rationalized.
“So, what happens if he isn’t involved with the BOAs? What if he’s just madly in love with you?”
That reality was no longer what I hoped for. “Then, he’ll most likely have his heart broken, again, before this is all over.”
***
After dropping Jayden off, Artemis and I went straight home, and found Bailey waiting. I assumed he used his key, so without speaking, I let him take me in his arms, to just hold me. He didn’t say a word, just tucked my head under his chin and stood for as long as I needed. When I finally stepped back, feigning to wipe tears from my eyes, he said, “I’m so sorry, Babe.”
I sniffled and kept looking down. “I just never expected it would be so soon. I thought she would be here to ... to....” and I did start to cry, but not because I was pretending Mom was dead. He was being so genuine, so concerned, and yet I longed for Michael’s arms, not his.
Fortunately, due to my mother’s ‘passing,’ I knew he wouldn’t expect too much of anything tonight, including talking. In fact, I was sure he would never ask me for details of the last couple of weeks, not wanting to upset me more. Jay and I had our story straight, in case he went to her with questions, but I really didn’t expect him to be interrogating me about the hows and whys of Mom’s passing.
“Do you need any help, planning the services? I know it can be a lot to handle,” he asked gently.
“No, but thank you,” we moved to the couch. “After my father passed away, she went ahead and had everything taken care of. She said she didn’t want me to have to worry about anything.” I paused, and heaved my shoulders theatrically a couple of times. “The viewing is next Friday night, the twentieth, and the services will be the next morning.” I didn’t know just how they planned for me to pull off a viewing, what with no body to put in the casket, but that was someone else’s problem.
“What about notifications, the obit?”
I shook my head, “The office will handle all of that,” I slipped. Bailey still didn’t know about my father’s business, or my inheritance. At least he hadn’t heard it from me before.
“The office?”
I sighed, “Yes, my father’s business, which I guess I own outright now,” I paused and looked at him. He had the blankest expression on his face I had ever seen. “I let the board of directors run it. Can we talk about all of that later, please?”
“Anything you need, my darling,” he slid his arm around my shoulders and I let him pull me to him. “You just say the word.” I rested my head on his chest for a few minutes, listening to his heartbeat. It was hard for me to think that he might really have an ulterior motive for being here, that there might be some reason other than that he loved me.
Finally, he asked “What can I do, Sam?”
“Come with me to the services and hold me up while everyone tells me how sorry they are.”
“I think I can handle that. Anything else?”
I sniffed, sat up and turned to face him, “I think I’d like a little time alone right now. I need to unpack, get Artemis settled back in....” I couldn’t think of any good excuses.
Thankfully, he stood up. “If that’s what you need, I’ll go. But I’m just a phone call away.”
I rose to walk him to the door, “I know.”
He took me in his arms again, and kissed my forehead, “I mean it. You call me if you need me.”
“I will, I promise,” my lips brushed his lightly. “Otherwise I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Okay,” he stood by the open door a moment, looking desperately like he wanted to do something more for me. He must have come to the conclusion that space was what I needed, so he kissed my forehead again. “Try and get some sleep.”
“I will,” I lied. “Good night.” I shut the door.
***
Before the deadbolt clicked, I knew Michael was in the room. I also knew it was time to do what Future Michael asked of me in the letter; somehow I had to convince Michael he needed to give me space, and time to be with Bailey. If I don’t do it now, I might never find the courage to again.
I turned around to find him on my couch petting Artemis, who was settled comfortably in his lap. Deciding it was best, I cut straight to the point, “Michael, we really need to talk.”
“Uh oh,” he teased, “I don’t like the sound of this.”
I crossed the room and sat on the opposite end of the couch. “No, I don’t think you’re going to.” He stiffened at the seriousness of my tone. “Michael, I’ve given this a lot of thought, since that first night on the boat.” I sighed. “I need things to be the way they were before.”
He looked confused, “The way they were before when?”
“Before that night in the alley.”
His face went ashen. “You mean, before you met me?”
“Yes.?
?? I could see him searching every corner of logic, wondering what he’d said or done wrong. He knew as well as I did nothing had transpired that should’ve sparked this conversation. It should have been completely different, and would’ve been, if not for the letter.
“Are you accepting his invitation to go to move in?” he asked carefully.
I gave him a wry little smile. “No. At least, not yet.” He knew me too well, I was certain he would see right through me. “Michael, I needed to figure out how I felt about Bailey before you stepped into my life. I was already confused, and now ... I really need to decide how I feel about him, while still trying to find out if he’s a part of the BOAS or not.”
“This doesn’t have anything to do with-”
“Celine? No, Michael, she has nothing to do with this.”
“Sam, if I’ve done something-”
I cut him off again. “No ... well, yes ... I mean....” I took a deep breath. “You’ve turned my life upside down, Michael.” In the most amazing way. “I will forever be grateful, and in your debt, for everything you’ve done for me, for my family.” I gulped, then blurted, “But I feel like now that we’re past danger, the immediate kind anyway, I need to try to find some kind of normal again.”
He didn’t argue, he just looked stricken - like he knew what was in my heart and couldn’t understand why I would be doing this. I understood how he felt, because I wouldn’t understand why I was doing it if I hadn’t read the letter either. Why is he making me rip his heart out?
With the exceptions of my mother and Jay, I trusted Michael more than anyone else. That included the Future Michael, who Future Sam obviously still trusted enough to time travel with. So, if Future Michael said I needed to make Present Michael give me room, I had to, no matter the cost.
I was too chicken to look him in the face when I threw the knock-out punch, so I put my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands, “I just don’t see there ever being any kind of a romantic future between us.”
The stillness seemed to go on forever and I didn’t know what else to say to make him go, so I just sat there, with my face in my hands. Finally, he whispered in my ear, “I will always be your shadow, watching to keep you safe. Never forget that.”
I dropped my hands, ready to take his face in them and kiss him; to beg his forgiveness for the lies I just told, and forget the damn letter from a future we had yet to live. But he was gone, as I commanded. First, and always, he was my faithful servant.
***
Artemis crept over to my lap, purring, and rubbed her chin on my knee. “Oh, Miss Mis,” I said softly. As I stroked her back in search of Zen, the passing minutes turned to hours.
My mind wandered off on its own. I really don’t know what I was thinking, if anything at all, I only knew I wouldn’t cry, in case he was watching. If I did, he would see through my lie.
***
Well after the sun set, I regained my senses. I scratched Artemis - still content in my lap - under her chin. “Do you have any suggestions on how we get back to normal?”
Shocking me mildly, she looked me in the eye, and said, “Merrrrow.” Then, she jumped off my lap and trotted across the room. She arched her back, rubbing against the cabinet her food was in, next to her dish.
“Okay, see, that’s a start.” I couldn’t help but laugh at my wise feline friend as I crossed the room in acquiescence to her request. In that moment, I couldn’t think of anything more normal than feeding my five hundred year old cat.
Glancing at the counter I hadn’t touched in weeks, the bag from the Chinese food Jay brought over caught my eye. It was like I found a lost relic from a time nearly forgotten; the crumpled plastic reminded me of my fortune cookie that night. As things turned out, it was right. The truth was not at all what I expected.
The End
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Roari Benjamin is a native of Southern California, where she resides with her fiancé, their two children, Artemis, two dogs, two more cats and a turtle. When she’s not happily tending her zoo, she is busy chasing her dreams. The Shadow Watcher is her debut novel.
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Witness the hours that shaped
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Will Sam find a way to be with the man she loves?
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