CHAPTER 19
✧
Cool tidewater swirled around Erif’s ankles as he stood on the beach. The supply ship was sailing out of sight, carrying his last letters to Tama. Erif held her latest letters in his hand. He had already read them. Letters declaring her love, but also her sorrow from his absence. She was not doing well. It was hard enough raising the children alone, but she was living in a remote mountain village, far from her home and extended family. She was hurting, and there was nothing Erif could do to help her. He was forbidden to return for two more seasons. Erif sank to his knees in the wet sand.
“This is too long.”
He remembered her soft smile and gentle touch.
“How will I last two more seasons? How will she last two more seasons?”
He heard nothing but the wind in response. Zul had not appeared to him for over a moon cycle. He was not sure why.
“Zul, I need to see you…see anyone. Do you have any idea how lonely I feel?”
Again, there was nothing. He let himself fall back into the shallow surf. The surf dragged him slowly over the sand. Sand filled his wet clothes. He didn’t care. He had reached the end of what he could endure. His tears joined the ocean. The waves pushed him up on the beach and left him there. He did not move.
“Why did you let them send me here?” Erif said to the sky. “The dragon is still loose. Who knows how many the Province has lost to it. They need help now, not two seasons from now. And Tama, what has she done to deserve this? Why can we not at least be together?”
Erif heard only the roar of the ocean.
“Is this how you treat those who are devoted to you? Abandon them?”
Erif grew quiet. He was exhausted. He found himself drifting to sleep. He knew he was dangerously close to the moving tide, but he did not have the energy to care. He let himself drift into sleep as his body was moved by the waves.
Some time later he drifted back to consciousness at the sensation of something warm touching his face. Erif sat up with a jolt. A lone, scrawny coyote skittered away. It was dusk. Erif touched his face, and it felt wet. The coyote had licked him. It stood several paces away now, just looking at him and trembling. Erif found himself laughing at the coyote. It looked pathetic.
“You are awfully tame,” Erif said.
The coyote whimpered and backed away a little.
“You look half starved to death, I am surprised you did not try to have me for last meal instead of licking me.”
The coyote took one step forward and trembled. The tip of its tail curved upward, giving it a tame appearance, in spite of its ragged condition. It also had faint spots in its fur, something Erif had never seen on a coyote.
“Well, it looks like I am not the only miserable thing left out on this island.”
Erif stood slowly, dripping of wet sand. He looked down at himself and laughed.
“Look at me, will you? How did I let myself get into this state?”
The coyote cautiously came closer.
“You must have been tamed before. Did someone leave you out here?”
He reached down to pet the coyote, but it backed away.
“Yeah, me too. It is hard to trust once you have been abandoned. Come on, then, I have food back at the camp, and you look starved.”
Erif walked to camp and the coyote followed at a distance. When they arrived the Stallion became uneasy.
“I do not think she will hurt you,” said Erif, patting the stallion’s side.
Erif removed his clothes, wrapped himself in a cloth, and hung his clothes nearby to dry. He stoked the fire and put a rabbit he had killed earlier on the fire to roast. The coyote sat nearby, whimpering at the smell. When it was ready, Erif threw a small bit of meat to the dog. It bolted the food down in an instant.
“If you want more, you have to come closer,” Erif said as he ate.
The coyote crept slowly closer until it stood at arms reach from Erif. He handed it another bite, which it ate from his hand.
“There you go, girl.”
They continued to eat, Erif feeding the coyote from his hand. After the food was gone, the coyote cautiously strained its neck forward and licked Erif’s hand.
“You are welcome.”
The coyote came closer and licked his hand again. Erif tried to pet its head, but it moved away.
As the sun set Erif lay down; the coyote relaxed and came even closer. Soon the animal was curled up next to Erif. Erif scratched between its ears and this time it did not back away.
“How did you get so tame out here?”
Erif closed his eyes in meditation. His old teacher, Zul, was there, visible in his mind.
“You are back!” said Erif.
“I was never gone,” said Zul.
“I know, I know…I still missed you.”
Erif was silent a moment before continuing. “I am sorry I yelled at you back on the beach. It’s just … well, this is really hard for me.”
“I know,” said Zul.
“Thank you for the coyote.”
The face in Erif’s vision smiled.
“Why have you been gone so long?”
“Just because you cannot see me does not mean I am not here.”
“Yes, I know, I only wish you would stay within my perception more often. You brought me here, to train, after all.”
“Erif, I did not bring you here, you put yourself here.”
“Yes, yes, you are right. I cannot blame anyone for that.”
The Great Spirit faded from Erif’s mind. Erif opened his eyes and looked down at the coyote next to him. She licked his hand.
✧
Raef ambled down the path toward the village center in late afternoon to fetch water. He was now apprenticing in the stables, a role he did not appreciate at all, and was spending the afternoon fetching water for the animals. Summer was approaching, and it had been an unusually warm spring. Raef had removed his shirt and left it back at the stable because of the many trips back and forth to the stream in the hot sun.
Raef would enter his thirteenth season within the moon cycle and would pass through the rite of Youngling’s End to be recognized as a greenling. He had grown considerably taller this season but, unlike his even taller father, Raef was painfully thin. He had never had muscles to speak of, but now what little he had was stretched even thinner over his long frame.
He turned a corner, empty bucket in hand, and came across Chaz and Liet. Liet was already a Warrior apprentice and wore a leather strap around his head where one season he would display his markings of rank. Chaz would be a greenling soon, but for now wore no apprentice headband. Liet looked at Raef, stopped, and began to laugh.
“Chaz, look!” Liet said, pointing at Raef, “a walking skeleton!”
Raef looked down at himself. His elbows poked out from his bony arms and every one of his ribs showed through his skin.
“Quick, call the undertaker,” called Liet, “one of the corpses has escaped!”
Liet laughed the hardest, but even Chaz laughed a little. Raef glared at Chaz for a moment before fixing his eyes straight ahead and walking past. Raef searched his mind to find something pleasant to focus on. He was excited that he soon arrive at Youngling’s End. He would move to the Intercessor dormery and stay with the other greenlings. Domik, who was just a bit younger, would join him at the dormery soon after.
Raef fetched water from the stream, then walked toward the stable. The bucket was large and very heavy when full. He tried not to grimace as he carried the bucket on the long trip back. Anyone his height should not struggle to carry a bucket of water. He put the bucket down to rest when he was alone on the road. His arms were sapped of strength. He saw another man coming, and he picked up the bucket, trying not to let it show how hard it was for him to lift it.
Raef returned to the stable and dumped the bucket in the horse trough. The stable master released him for the afternoon, so Raef put his shirt back on and left. Raef walked back into the late afternoon sun and sighed
. Tonight was full moon meditation. He would be present to assist the Keepers during the ceremony. Rocecé would be there, of course, but Domik was not quite a greenling and would not attend. At the moment, Raef regretted taking on his apprenticeship early. He could be playing with Domik, maybe even visiting Rail together. Raef sighed again and walked towards his home.
Raef wiped the sweat from his face and arms at the washbasin once he was home. His mother dipped a spoon in the pot hanging over the fire and lifted it to her mouth. His sister, Irah, was putting stale trenchers on the table. Raef went to his bed and picked up his blue robe off the floor where it was neatly folded. It was a new robe because he had outgrown his first one. He noticed his trousers no longer reached his ankles, leaving a bare strip of skin between his worn shoes and trousers. The leather laces from his shoes only wrapped up to mid-calf now. He knew he would get new clothing soon. He put his robe on, which nearly reached the ground, hiding the worn and ill-fitting clothing.
Folor came in, and they all sat for last meal. Raef now had his own mug and no longer had to share with his sister. Irah had nineteen seasons and was now a woman. She had so far refused all suitors so was still living at home. Raef wondered why she had turned down so many. He pulled his knife from his tie strap and cut some meat for himself. He remembered to wipe his knife on the edge of his trencher before dipping it in the salt cellar. The pottage was mostly cabbage, which was not his favorite, but Raef did not complain.
After last meal Raef collected the soiled trenchers and left the house to take them to the poor. He felt he had too many seasons for such a task, but it had remained his to do. His father certainly would never be seen handing out used trenchers. Irah should be doing this, he thought, she was an almoness anyway, and handing out food to the poor was her job. As he walked towards the Common Hall he came across young Nilo, playing in the street with a ball. Nilo saw him and ran to join him.
“Ho, Raef!”
“Ho, Nilo,” mumbled Raef.
“Taking alms to the poor?”
“This is not alms, just old trenchers.”
“It is food for the poor, is it not?” said Nilo, “The same thing, really.”
Raef said nothing in reply.
“I already took ours. I can show you a good place to bring them if you want.”
“No, Nilo, I know where to take them. I have been doing this for many seasons, remember.”
They walked to the Common Hall, and Raef handed the soiled, stale bread to a pair of younglings that looked like brothers. The two took the bread and ran off. Raef turned back toward home with Nilo still following behind.
“You have your blue robe on,” said Nilo, “Is there a ceremony tonight?”
“Yes. You should know that; your father will be attending.”
“I never remember when the ceremonies are.”
“It is full moon, Nilo. Have you not noticed the moon becoming full the last few nights?”
“No.”
Raef sighed. They returned to Raef’s home, and Raef paused at the door. He watched Nilo continue to the next house where his family lived. Nilo had eight seasons now, but Raef still found him tedious. Raef could not remember if he had been this way when he had eight seasons.
The family came out of the house to go to the Ceremonial Lodge. Because it was late spring it was still quite light outside as they walked. They entered the lodge, and Raef followed his father toward the front. He noticed Rocecé sitting near the back and nodded as he passed. Raef took a seat off to the side on a stool. Like the Keepers, Raef faced the villagers. Raef was the only apprentice Keeper in the village. The rest of the Intercessor apprentices were to become scribes or healers or, if they were less fortunate, gardeners and stable hands. Only Raef sat at the front, the rest sat with the Intercessors in the rows just behind the village Nobles.
The Keepers sat in a row on tall wooden stools. They waited until it seemed everyone had arrived, and Prime Keeper Bremen stood. Prime Bremen led the villagers in a chant. Raef chanted along, no longer needing to concentrate to remember the words. Afterwards Raef and Keeper Dimmel stood, each walking to opposite sides of the room. The two of them picked up branches of fir trees and slowly walked down each side of the room toward the back, waving the branches slowly toward the people sitting between them. Raef’s father lit perfumed candles. Raef and Keeper Dimmel stood at the back two corners, and Keeper Bremen began another chant.
The meditation began after the second chant was over. Raef lifted his head upwards and closed his eyes. He could hear the quiet squeaking of the long benches as the greenlings in attendance tried to sit still. It was warm inside the lodge, with so many villagers crowded together after a hot afternoon. Raef wiggled his toes and noticed his shoes were too tight. He felt an itch on his leg, but as an apprentice Keeper he knew he could not move to scratch it.
Raef found himself thinking of Rocecé. Rocecé was a man now with nineteen seasons. Raef began to wonder why Rocecé was not yet married. Rocecé was a rather crude man and not particularly good looking, Raef realized. To make matters worse, Rocecé only seemed interested in the most attractive and wealthy women in the village, who, Raef realized, would never accept a marriage proposal from a ill-mannered blacksmith. Raef still visited Rocecé, perhaps once every moon cycle or two, and they went to see the dragon together. Raef found himself wondering why a grown man would still be visiting the dragon.
Raef opened his eyes at the sound of Keeper Bremen’s voice. As the Prime Keeper began the final chant, Raef picked up his fir branch, began to wave it, and slowly walked back to the front of the room.
When the ceremony was over, Raef stood at the front of the room with the Keepers as the villagers left. Those at the front, the Nobles and Intercessors, left first while the Merchants and Laborers remained seated. When everyone was finally gone, Prime Keeper Bremen lead the Keepers out of the lodge with Reaf following at the end of the line. Once outside, Keeper Dimmel handed Raef a key, and Raef locked the door to the Ceremonial Lodge, then gave the key to Keeper Dimmel. Raef was not sure why he was not allowed to keep the key, since it was now his job to lock and unlock the lodge. Or, since Dimmel was the keeper of the keys, why did he not lock and unlock the door himself? The Keepers had many rituals, and not all of them made sense to Raef.
Raef walked home with his father. It had grown dark during the ceremony, and the night watchman was already out beginning his watch. Raef and his father did not speak. Folor was usually somber after ceremonies. They entered the house, Raef after his father, and Folor sat at the table. Raef’s mother put a mug of ale down in front of Folor.
Raef walked to his bed, still a straw mattress on the floor. He still had no privacy curtain. Malta was folding the table cloth, Folor was drinking from his mug, and Irah was sitting on her bed, already in her night robe, her curtain open, humming a tune to herself. Raef faced the wall and began removing his clothing to change into his night robe. Though he was not quite a greenling, he thought he should have a privacy curtain.
Raef sat next to his father after changing. His mother gave him a mug of weak beer. He felt restless waiting for his family to retire. He had done nothing but work since sunrise. He wanted some time for himself. In a few sunsets he would be a greenling. Even though he was an apprentice now, he knew the Keepers would ask him to work longer when he was actually a greenling. When his parents and sister finally went behind their privacy curtains, Raef went to his bed and lay down. He was not ready to sleep. His legs wiggled as he tried to lay still. He looked out the open window above his bed. The full moon shined bright.
When Folor began to snore and Reaf still had not fallen asleep, he sat up on his bed and looked out the window. He could easily see the road under the yellow moon. He quietly stood and leaned out the open window. The night air was cool, but not cold. It felt good on his face after so much hot sun. The night watchman walked by, heading towards the village center. Raef suddenly had an idea.
Raef had never snuck out of h
is house at night. That was something ill-educated younglings did. But he found himself pushing up on the windowsill with his arms until he could get his leg over it. It made a bit of noise when his leg rubbed on the wooden sill, so once he was up he leapt through all at once. He landed almost silently on the grass outside his window. He looked at himself. He was in his night robe and was barefoot. But who would see? he thought. This was not like the Labor sector where roving bands of greenlings caused problems at night. Everyone was asleep. He kept close to the wall and snuck around to the back. The forest was near the back of his house. Raef took another look around to be sure no one could see him, then dashed into the forest.
It was darker in the trees, but the full moon was sufficient to light up the forest enough for Raef to see the trails. He felt the soil and soft fir needles beneath his bare feet as he made his way deeper into the woods. He came to his secret path and followed it down into the ravine. He realized no one would hear him this far away so he picked up his speed, nearly running, as he made his way to the small clearing.
Raef broke into the clearing and ran to the middle of it. He looked straight up and spun slowly around. The round moon was high in the sky above him. There were no clouds and the stars seemed to glimmer especially bright. There were millions of them. He took a deep breath of the night air. Rail was not there. Raef sat in the tall grass and waited. He sat a long time, but the dragon never came. As he waited, he looked around the perimeter of the clearing. He thought he saw something sparkling here and there in the bushes and ferns that lined the tiny meadow. He smiled, thinking it to be nothing more than his imagination. But he soon realized that the sparkles remained in fixed position, not moving about as would be the case if he only imagined it. Raef stood and walked over to one of the sparkly spots. He came to a very large fern with something sparkling on one frond. He reached out and felt something long and stringy. He picked it up and held it closer. It was a dragon hair. Raef held it skyward and watched the moonlight dance over its glassy surface. During the light these were hard to find, but here in the moonlight they glistened and gave themselves away. Raef tossed the thick hair into the night air and watched it sparkle as it floated to the ground. It seemed to be magical as it danced in the air. He thought about taking it home, but he already had a dragon hair under his mattress. It would be too risky to bring another one into the house.
Raef searched the sky but still saw no dragon. Perhaps it did not visit villages at night. It might even be that Rail could not see well in the dark. In any case, it was clear that the dragon was not coming. Raef hung his head for a moment, then began the long walk home.