The anniversary party had wound down by the time Nadya arrived back at her sister’s house, and for that she was glad. Being surrounded by guests only would have made it worse. There was leftover food everywhere, and her sister seemed to be in good spirits.
“I’m sorry,” Nadya said, as soon as she saw her, but Jasmine dismissed her, cupcake in hand. “No,” Nadya insisted. “Really. You flew me out here, and I was gone the whole time. Then I show up, and I’m a mess. And then I miss the whole reason you invited me.”
Jasmine looked like she wanted to respond, but had to finish chewing her bite of cupcake before she could speak, so there was a delay.
“You missed the excuse I had to invite you,” she said, when she could speak again. “I have my sister back. Whichever way it happened – and I hope one day you’ll tell me – I’m glad for that at least.”
Maybe in time, she would be able to find the silver lining that Jasmine had identified. But for now, the guilt, and the shame, and the heartbreak were too much.
“Did you find what you were looking for?” Jasmine asked, the tone in her voice indicating that she could tell from the look on Nadya’s face that she had not.
“I found out what I needed to.”
Jasmine gave her that singular look that always means “I’d help if I could, but I know I can’t.”
Nadya tried to appreciate her for it. Maybe one day she would. But for now, she could only move her body forward, and hope that her heart, in time, caught up.
“I have to get to LaGuardia,” she said. “It’s time I headed home.”