It is here that Professor Carter Linwood’s strange narrative abruptly ends, as one would imagine given the circumstances outlined in the Foreward. Ah, to be cursed with an irritable bowel at such an inopportune time! Fortunately, my libido is intact…But to get back to Professor Linwood’s story, since this is, after all, about the Professor’s encounters in the land of the underground sewage as he fights to rescue Princess Miralee from the clutches of the sky pirates of Gur. One can only hope that he will succeed, along with Jed Jarlton at his side as his worthy companion.
My meeting with Carla Rosado was quite enlightening. When I arrived at the Jorge Chávez International Airport in Lima, the capital of Peru, Carla was there to meet me. She was a thin, somewhat weathered looking young woman in her mid-20s. Her almond-shaped eyes twinkled with a mischievous, hidden knowledge when she saw me, and grew even bigger when I drew out my wallet to pay for the taxi. “Your wallet, senor, it is very large,” she said, rather naively, and somewhat mysteriously, I thought. Fortunately, I quickly gained her trust.
That first night, when we arrived at her small apartment in Miraflores, she was distraught to find that the Professor’s papers had been stolen from under the bed. They had been carefully placed in a shoebox, she explained, hidden from all prying eyes. She was overjoyed, however, upon canvassing her apartment for any other missing items, to discover that everything else was intact. Her television, radio, stereo, jewelry were all there, along with her mini-skirts and 70 pairs of spiked high heel shoes. I found this quite surprising, but said nothing. What evil forces, I wondered, would steal only the Professor’s papers? Could Carla be lying to me? I found this scenario highly unlikely, though, since I have a gift of correctly judging a person’s moral character - an ability to delve deep into one’s inner psyche in order to discover any falsehood that might lurk there.
As we discussed Professor Linwood’s missing papers, Carla’s trust in me also grew, to the extent that she felt comforted when sitting close to me. Being a gracious soul, she invited me to stay in her apartment that night. “I have fear,” she explained simply, her large eyes looking up at me in supplication. I could well understand her fright, since she had just been robbed of the equivalent of a literary goldmine! Since I pride myself in being chivalrous, I decided to stay in her apartment, but only after ascertaining that she had a full roll of toilet paper in her tiny bathroom.
That night, I did my best to comfort her.
The next morning, fully refreshed and feeling like a new man, I decided that I must do all I could to track down the missing Professor and his manuscript, no matter where the journey would take me. Was there any truth to Professor Linwood’s story? I wondered. And did the Professor, with the help of Jed Jarlton by his side, rescue Princess Miralee from the dreaded sky pirates of Gur? There was only one thing to do: I must travel the streets of Miraflores by visiting all the local spots, those teeming places of crowded humanity where music and cerveza flow in equal amount. Carla has graciously agreed to accompany me on my mission. Our plans include lunch at a restaurant in Larco Mar overlooking the ocean, to be followed by a scenic bus tour through Miraflores and San Isidro, in the hope that we might spot Professor Linwood conversing with one of the many pleasant ladies who get their exercise by walking up and down the streets. For dinner, we plan to visit a number of clubs, thinking perhaps the Professor might have a predilection for Pisco Sour (the Peruvian national drink). Carla explained to me that there are many ladies very anxious to give directions to gringos, especially those who appear to be lost. I am fortunate to have found in Carla a woman of excellent character. I have high expectations that we will eventually locate Professor Carter Linwood and his missing manuscript. It is really only a matter of time.
My story must now come to an end, for Carla is calling me – even now – to help make the bed and to take out the garbage.
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