FOURTEEN
I dawdle in the bathroom, which Zoë showed me. I need a minute of alone time. Or a week, but I’m pretty positive no one will give me that. On the way in here, it was almost difficult not to laugh, thinking that I wished I had known where this room was before I got sick. Urping in front of strangers the day I meet them—in their house, no less. Typical me… But nothing about this should be funny. Humor must be my main form of self-preservation. Either that or I’m demented and I don’t feel comfortable with that description. Faery, yes. Demented, no.
I freshen up, glad I brought my bag and can brush away the day’s worth of gunk, truth, and … oh yeah, puke. The little eye makeup I wear also needs a touch-up and is actually fun to play with while I admire my glow from within.
The aura around me isn’t of any color in particular – not like the blue that moves from aura to skin on Zoë and Landon’s bodies. Yet I am not only white like I’ve always thought. A glittery sort of halo surrounds my entire being, with hints of color beaming off of it in time with my movements. It suits my skin quite well. I wonder if color will make its way into my skin the longer I’m here.
It doesn’t take long to gather my bearings and to feel like myself again—whatever that is. But I think I might finally be starting to get it. Although I can’t shake an aggressive, nagging sensation that has been creeping into and through me over the course of the day.
Yeah, I like what I am and I finally feel whole, in a sense, but I also keep feeling urges to lash out. For no reason. Like I need to test my limits and see what my true nature really is. I’m just hoping I’m not even close to being anything like Donovan.
If only I can learn to be like my mother… I do feel I am on that path. I’ve curbed my compulsion whenever it has arrived. No one deserves my wrath. Except Donovan and I’m fairly sure he got his fair dose. Or not. He’ll get more and he does deserve it.
Whatever this urge I have right now is about, it isn’t going away and that’s a tad scary. But at least I’m content in the moment. And I have much bigger things to worry about, anyway. Like a prophecy. An insane prophecy. And it’s insane that it’s a part of my life. I’m part of a prophecy in a land not human. Who would have imagined?!
With a smile at myself, as I can’t help but feel rather important, I turn out the light and walk back to the to join the others.
“So guys,” I announce grandly as I enter the living room, “now that I’m feeling a little better, I have a question for you.” Like, how long was I in the bathroom since you two are knee-deep in projects now?
“Shoot.” Landon looks up from his painting of a forest scene. Zoë has begun dusting and rearranging things in the house, which reminds me of Hols’ room now that I think about it.
Paintings cover the walls and there are cool sculptures and vases on wooden shelves. I assume Landon made them all, judging by how far he’s gotten on the painting already and how amazing it is.
Forcing myself to ignore the awesomeness that is their house, I look at Landon.
“OK, in the bathroom just now I was noticing how I look. Everything appears different to me now that I have been re-baptized—the walls, ground, people … everything. But one thing I realized that’s even more interesting is that you two look so much alike. Does that happen since you’re obviously, you know, together?”
“It’s just something that happens over time. We’ve been living together and building a life for so many years that we’ve almost melded into one person.” Zoë holds up a small picture, moving it around from spot to spot on the wall, deciding where it looks best.
“Well, we still have our own personalities, of course,” Landon says as Zoë finishes speaking, almost interrupting her. He rinses his brush off in water and uses a stained cloth to dry it.
“I paint and draw; she sings and dances and even more—but we have a lot of the same mannerisms and we think alike and finish each other’s thoughts and sentences.”
“Well sure, all couples end up doing that,” I say with a flick of my wrist. “What’s so fascinating is how much you look alike. It’s like dogs and their owners—the longer someone has a dog, the more they start to look like each other.
“But that’s just a random human thing that’s not serious. It’s not like dogs and people really look alike. This is for real, for real. And it’s just crazy, but also super awesome. At least I think so. So I figured I’d ask.”
“It’s really fairly common. The more you are around here—and I assume you will be since you’ve seemed to embrace your fae side over your human upbringing—the more you will see it.” Zoë pauses for a few seconds, head cocked to the side.
“I guess it is pretty cool, now that you mention it.” Another beat passes. “Although I don’t know about the whole dog thing.” She bursts into laughter. “That just sounds funny as hell!”
Landon and I join in, all laughing at the silliness of it—glad the air has lightened again.
I walk over and stand behind Landon to better see his painting and examine the way he works. “You’re so quick. And so good. I wish I had some sort of talent like that. I swear I’m the only faery without one.”
Landon turns around and looks up at me, eyebrows raised. “Are you serious? You’re the bad ass of all bad asses when it comes to fae. You have more talent in your little pinky than I could ever hope to have in my entire lifetime. Which is an insane amount of time considering I’m immortal.”
I feel a warmth rise into my heart and then my face. I smile back shyly at his crooked grin.
“Huh. I never thought of it that way.”
Not wanting Landon to have to keep craning his neck, I move back in front of him and sit on the floor. “I guess the way Bonnie, my housekeeper, told me all about faery talents led me to assume they are all in the arts somehow. Maybe I should learn some type of martial art…”
“I don’t think you need to, Kel. What you have in you from your mom—what I’ve heard of her, at least—and just you being you, I bet you could teach the masters a thing or two.” Landon surprises me with how straight he keeps his face. He isn’t kidding.
I twist my arm to look at my tattoo and run a finger over it once. A slight power zaps into me, almost as though my mother is assuring me it’s all right to believe Landon.
Zoë jumps on board, too. “He’s right, you know.” She walks over to a chair near us. “But the fact that we know it and you’re realizing it means it’s time to do something. We have to figure out a way to stop Donovan. Make this end once and for all.”
Landon is certainly up for moving things forward. “Yeah, I think if I head to the library I can find some books that will help. There has to be info somewhere since this is such a big deal and everyone has known it was going to come. I mean, this was something before he even got to your mother, Kellyn. Part of the prophecy was for her to die, as horrible as that is.”
“But you’re the cool thing about the prophecy. The only good thing.” Zoë leans forward, arms on her knees, hands clasped together. “Now that you are here, we know it will really be over. He can’t ever do this again.”
“You guys are right. You are. I hate how this—how I—came to be, but no one can change the past. All anyone can do is work on the future and end this creature, like you said.”
I stand up and begin pacing, something I am growing to realize I do a lot of while thinking.
“So what should I do? Do you want me to come with you to research or should I figure out what’s going on some other way? I feel like I should go back and try to find Donovan. Because I haven’t even told you the worst part.” I stop pacing and freeze for half of a second, the reality of all the craziness crashing over me. I can’t believe I really forgot to mention something so huge. Especially with how great my memory usually is. New emotions and information are making my mind all muddled. That's a gorgeous way to go into this fight or battle or whatever it will be—with a mushy brain… I’ll be sure to kick ass!
“All we’ve
been talking about has had me focused on this one thing, the prophecy, and so I spaced last night. And that’s what started all of this – the asshole tried to attack my human friends. It’s how I ended up getting mixed up with him. If I hadn’t been around to see him, to fight him like I was forced to, I still might not know anything about who I really am.” I shake my head and throw my hands up like I’m lost and can’t deal. And I sure wish I didn’t have to but I don’t seem to have much choice in the matter at this point.
“Seriously guys, how could I have not mentioned that, especially when we were talking about the shadows or shades or whatever they are? So much has happened so quickly, I suppose. I didn’t even put two and two together as soon as I should have about Donovan being able to control someone or something else. Well, whatever the reason, the point is that he’s not just after fae. He’s out for whatever he can get while he’s out. Or at least he wants to hurt people I care about. Hell, I have get back and make sure they’re all right!”
But first I need to take a seat, yet again, and focus on relaxing. I start to slump over but then remember that sitting up straight has been my substitute for deep-breathing. Once I open my chest and shoulders, I feel stronger. It’s rather amazing how this works. Maybe Bonnie wasn’t always on me about posture all these years just so I would look better.
“That really sucks, Kel. I hate that he is doing this and I hate that you’re having to clean up after him, all while being targeted. Sadly, I’m not the least bit surprised, though.” Landon looks at me and his sincerity couldn’t be more obvious if it was written all over his face with a Sharpie. I smile at the emotion in his eyes, at my luck of running into them, and also at the fact that I didn’t think I could trust them.
Smiling back at me, he continues. “I think it will definitely be best if I go to the library and Zoë can go around the village to talk with some friends. You need to find a way back to the human realm and see what’s going on there. We cannot let Donovan hurt anyone else.”
“Sounds like a plan to me.” I agree that each of us doing something separately is our best course of action. There is only one problem. “How exactly do I do that, though? I know how to get here, but how do I get back? Do you two know of any of those portals you mentioned when we first saw each other?”
Zoë stands up and the abruptness of it startles me. My eyes go to her, certain she has something important to say. “Yes, I do. I have seen some of the fae around here use them. We have always been so interested in human life that many of us go and watch what you—sorry, I mean they—do. How things are done… I can lead you to one not far away.”
Out of the corner of my eye I notice Landon staring oddly at Zoë, but she avoids his gaze, only looking at me. I sit silently, nodding at Zoë that I am glad to have this information and her help. I dare to look at Landon but he doesn’t see me at all. So I sit back and let the two converse—or avoid doing so—in their own way. But it takes less than a minute for Zoë to break and look at her partner.
“No, I’m not one of those fae. Of course I am interested and I have been tempted, but I have never gone. I wouldn’t without you; I wouldn’t anyway. It is entirely too dangerous.”
Relief passes over Landon’s face and he stands up, tilting his head and inspecting her face. Somehow I know he is showing his approval. The two smile at each other sweetly—with a sense that their entire world revolves around the other one. I admire the connection the two have, and my heart breaks all over again for Blake. And for myself. But maybe I can have it with someone else one day. Someone real. I vow to hold onto my memories and to remain open to love.
But once again I curse my own mind. As soon as the future and love are even a thought, or an inkling of a thought, that sinfully sexy Sloane flashes across my thoughts as though they are on an IMAX screen. I don’t understand why I can’t control my own mind. Seeing him as a future love, or lust, or even friend … well, it pisses me off.
How can my mind even think that way? Sloane is friends with Donovan, whom I’m obviously not crazy about—and that’s putting it lightly. My mind is betraying me – to think I would ever actually have anything to do with someone who is so clearly evil. I silently ‘grrr’ and look over at the couple that got me thinking along these lines.
They have broken their lover’s gaze in order to take care of business, and are now eying me with looks that imply I have just sprouted horns or a tail or a beak or something. I hold my hands out to my sides a little, palms up—to question them—and they both look down and take a step back.
Which gives me more to think of. Am I now some scary kind of fae? Or one to be revered? I sure hope not. I am no different now than I was when I thought I was a human. I still want to fit in and be ‘normal.’ Sure, I love being different in the way that I am because it feels right, but I want to be a part of this community here, and others I will come across. I want to be no different than these two.
Thankfully, Landon breaks my thoughts and gets me to focus on the here and now. “All right girls. Let’s get a move on. We have a lot to do and, well, we have no clue what we will unearth. And that will determine how much time we need. Which leads to the importance of finding out how much time we have.” He stops and smiles. “All right, this pep-talk is not all that peppy.”
Zoë and I laugh and look nervously at each other. The mood has been changing every few minutes today. I really hope I get used to this heightened awareness and can figure out a way to dull the emotions, at least to a manageable level.
Landon begins his talk again, not much more upbeat this time around. To his credit, there isn’t anything to be upbeat about. So I simply listen as he stares directly at me.
“Let’s start with what we do know, and that is, based on the moon, that Donovan will strike at you soon. In the meantime, we have no idea what he is doing, but that is where you being a kick ass changeling comes in handy. You can be extra speedy with your super powers and come back to us before he is able to do anything too horrible.”
I nod, not able to do much else since I know he is right. About me needing to be quick. Not about me being able to pull it off or me being some bad ass. Which is exactly the wrong thing to be thinking.
Once again, I gather my two bags and sling them over my straightened shoulder, glad that once people in general get the basics down, they don’t have to think about things like grabbing bags and walking. I don’t have time to worry about that when I have to focus on my shoulders and keeping my head straight. I need to bring out my inner ‘bad ass’ and believe. A buzz begins moving through my veins as I think of what I am about to do and why, and as I start to feel what Landon was just saying.
Grinning, I let my two new friends lead me somewhere new and unknown.
Walking out of the house, Zoë and Landon kiss goodbye and I give him a hug. He heads west to the repository and we girls need to go east toward the portal Zoë knows of.
It’s much closer than I thought it would be. Just a few houses down, Zoë grabs my hand and pulls me into a backyard.
“Shhh, I’m not sure who really knows about this so we have to do it quickly.”
“All right. Just tell me what to do and I’ll take it from there. Wait. Crap. How am I going to get back to this same spot? Avalon is so huge—how will I find you?”
“You just will. If this is where you want to be, it is where you will end up. Trust me. No, scratch that—trust yourself. I have faith in you and you should, too. Now, let’s go.”
We walk about twenty paces before coming up to a pair of trees. Zoë speaks to them in a hushed tone.
Is she really talking to trees? Whatever… I shrug and decide I need to take everything as it comes.
To my surprise, the trees start to spread away from each other, leaving a gap much, much bigger than before. One I can easily walk right through.
I turn to Zoë for a hug. “I’ll be back as soon as possible. I hope you guys can find out as much as I do, or even more. See you soon.”
Wa
lking up to the trees, I touch one with my right hand and feel a warmth as the bark moves just as skin would. I smile, turn and wave, and then walk through the portal.