SIXTEEN
Why in the world did I just say that, of all things?
Now I have even less of a clue as to what I should say. Can I trust Sloane? I don’t know him from Adam. Sure, I feel like I can trust him; my gut says I can. But this is not as simple as it was with Zoë and Landon. For one, I’m not quite that desperate anymore. I simply was lucky with them—that they ended up being so amazing.
But with Sloane … it truly is not the same. If I give him anything that Donovan can use against me – this is literally a matter of life and death. And I am not all right with dying just yet.
So no, I can’t just tell him what’s going on. I need info from him first. I have to trust more than our matching skin and a stupid feeling I have. No matter how strong and real that feeling is… And no matter how much I have come to trust my senses … I don’t have a choice. Vague is how I must be.
“I don’t really know what to tell you about it all. I’ve known him for a while now and we’ve never gotten along. He was good friends with my ex-boyfriend and caused a lot of problems between us. It’s kind of a long story.”
“Well, I know the guy pretty well and that sounds like him. I’ll admit he’s a bit of an ass, but we’re still tight.”
“A bit of an ass? That’s the understatement of the year,” I mutter into my drink as I take a sip.
Sloane lets out a deep, throaty laugh. “OK, yeah. I suppose I can’t lie and say he’s a decent guy.” He pauses, “In fact, I can’t lie at all.”
“What do you mean?”
He leans forward and asks, “Have you ever told a lie—a true lie? Without stumbling over your words? Have you ever gotten an untruth out?”
I sit and think this over before I can confidently answer that, no, I haven’t. It has always been a problem for me to lie. It’s never felt right. I always chalked it up to a moral thing, but Sloane seems to be implying it is more than that.
“So you’re saying we flat out can’t lie? Faeries, I mean. I wouldn’t know since I’m kind of new to all this.”
“I can tell. That’s why I brought it up. Maybe change the subject for a minute and learn something about you.” He smiles, destroying me inside (in a good way) with the simple act. “But nope. We cannot lie. Some might call it a curse, but I think it’s a good thing. You always know where you stand with someone. Well, unless…”
“Unless what?” I prompt.
“Well, for one, D can lie. He managed to figure out some way to do it.”
I break in and say, “Yes! He actually did lie to me about where he’d been earlier—the ass…”
Sloane shrugs and then nods. “Yeah, I’m not surprised. Also, there are some ways around lying. I’ve had to see to that.”
He obviously doesn’t want to go into that just yet and I don’t want to push him.
He seems to trust me so I want him to believe I feel the same. Sadly I do, but I am fighting it with all that I have. With all the practical reasoning I have never possessed. And most likely never will, based on what Bonnie told me about my stronger qualities becoming the prominent ones. I am doomed to be that girl who makes all decisions based on emotion and gets screwed over in the process. Just brilliant.
At this point, neither Sloane nor I seem to know what to say next. We sit in silence … again … both focusing on our drinks more than anything else. Or at least pretending to.
Feelings of calmness and uncertainty mixed together force me to speak. This all has to move forward at some point. I can’t let on that I am unsure and this weird silence is not going to help me with that. Especially if I can’t lie… But if not for that, then for no other reason than to figure out why we match each other. I am certainly interested in that explanation.
Maybe if I open up about myself—tell him basic things he could figure out on his own anyway—I can learn more about what Sloane knows of Donovan. And I assume that’s a hell of a freaking lot, considering he claimed they are BFFs. “All right,” I say with a sigh. “I’ll break this huge ass block of ice on the table, practically blocking our view of each other.”
Sloane takes a sip of his beer. Doesn’t say a word. Color me reassured. He is patiently waiting for me to continue. Although I don’t know what else I expected since I did say I would talk.
Gods, I can be so stupid sometimes.
Like now, for example. Sloane’s interested gaze is making me desperate to spill everything. Something about him feels right to me. Comfortable. Even knowing he is connected to evil somehow; maybe even is evil somehow.
How wrong is that? What does that say about me?!
I push those thoughts out of my head and focus on the comfort. With all the confusion, he is going to end up reading me and I can’t have that. So I will embrace the warm and toasty to lead him off the evil and dangerous trail.
“Would you believe me if I told you I just found out I’m not human? I mean, I know you know it’s recent, but you have no clue how recent. And that almost everyone I care about has been lying to me my entire life. I’m dealing with that hardcore of a shitstorm pouring down on me all in one day.”
“Really?” Sloane leans back again, looking genuinely surprised. I feel calming vibes caress me. He is actually attempting to comfort me. Can evil people do that?
At least he has more to say. He has been a bit of a one-liner and not in a stand-up comedian kind of way. “Like I said, I could tell this is all somewhat new to you, but you just found out today? It’s kind of amazing that you are out on your own dealing with it all. How do you feel about it?” He pauses, considering, and then asks, “Are you OK on your own right now?”
“I’m pretty sure I’m OK.” I smile, as close to a ‘thank you’ as I can give and he wants to receive. “To answer you as to how I feel, well… Elated. Amazed. Betrayed. Pissed off. Name an emotion and I’ve probably felt it recently.”
I play with my straw while I talk, bending it like a staircase. I am way more stuck in my head than in this bar right now. And my head is not a good place to be. It’s not safe yet so I need to snap out of it. Three cheers for me for bringing up the stupid subject.
The shock still hasn’t left Sloane’s expression. Sure, I can read other emotions on his face, but his overall expression really does say ‘wow!’
But then he speaks for real. In English, not in emotions. “I can imagine that would be a lot to take in. So what are you that you wouldn’t have known? A changeling or something?”
“Or something.” I look at him with a half-smirk.
He doesn’t exactly smile back. “How is that possible? I have never known of any changelings to survive long enough to discover what they are, let alone one to grow as old as you are. You're what, eighteen?”
“Seventeen, actually. But yeah, I am a changeling. As hard as it may be to believe.”
His questioning feels almost like an attack and I am uncomfortable for the first time with him. And that’s all I have been looking for to be able to get away. The only problem is that I really do need to know where Donovan is so I can get some information back to Avalon.
It’s time to play the dirty girl card. As much as I hate games with boys, I have no choice.
“Listen Sloane, I don’t really feel like talking about this, and plus my throat is still burning from that damned beer. I should go beat his ass for that…”
“I wouldn’t go doing that if I were you. You’re too new to even think about taking him on.” Sloane smiles, but a key element is lacking. I wish I could pinpoint what it is. It almost feels like he is afraid of losing me, but that can’t be true. He doesn’t even know me. If he did, he would know I could easily take on the giant bartender, no matter how ‘young and new’ I might be.
So far I’m not lying but I need to get out of here keeping that up. And then make sure he follows me. I have such simple tasks in front of me. Yeah, if only.
I feel like crap that I am almost lying to him, even considering who he might be. It’s not me to manipulate. But then again, I??
?m not exactly used to being in a position of being hunted and needing to find my hunter before he finds me.
“Maybe you’re right. I have a much different fight I need to be worried about. But Donovan, I don’t think I’ll seek out. I might just wait until he happens upon me.”
“Wait—you were serious when you said he wants to kill you? No way. He is a dick, sure, but he’s no killer. Besides, you’re a faery. You can’t die.”
Sloane’s face looks almost as if I have betrayed him somehow just by mentioning anything so horrible about his buddy. But I know it’s not me he is really feeling betrayed by. He doesn’t want to believe me, but I can sense that he also can’t deny that what I’m saying is a real possibility.
“I was dead serious – no pun intended.” I laugh an odd, nervous laugh. “Maybe you don’t know him as well as you think you do.”
“But I grew up with him. I am with him every day. You have to be in the middle of a misunderstanding.” Sloane says this with conviction in his voice but it’s not coming from his heart. It’s a tone, nothing more.
“I don’t know. I do know that I have to get out of here, though. After all that’s happened and now this. I just … I’m not feeling so comfortable at the moment.”
Sloane’s face drops. Most people wouldn’t notice, but I’m not most people. I feel bad but what can I do? I have to protect myself; not worry about how sad his gorgeous eyes look.
“All right, well can I walk you out to your car?”
“Sure, that would be good.” I take one last sip of my Sprite and stand up, purse in hand.
Before I can even reach into it to pay, Sloane tosses a wad of bills on the table. I wonder how long he has been here drinking. I look at the money and smile at him, and then turn around toward the door.
He walks really close to me. Granted, the tables don’t leave much room but he also could walk behind me. But he isn’t. And I’m not complaining. I don’t want to leave but I have no idea what else to do. I have to attempt to get more out of him.
When we pass the bartender, he looks and me with a smirk and I flip him off. Not so mature, I know, but who does he think he is, screwing with a complete stranger?
“Did you have to do that?” Sloane laughs. “Now you can’t trust what you’ll be served here ever again.”
“Eh, don’t worry about me. I can handle myself. And I can handle him if need be.”
Sloane looks at me, questioning my confidence and looking like he wants to say something. Instead, he opens the door and lets me walk outside before he does.
I stop and take a few fresh breaths. Much better than smoke, no doubt about it. Still not as wonderful as Avalon, but this is some form of a home, right? Hollie and my parents are here, plus Olivia and, well … this is where I grew up. I may personally like Avalon better but that does not make this realm worthless. I need to protect my friends. And I will make sure somehow that Sloane is going to help me.
We walk over to Hols’ truck and I dig my gloves out and put them on, making sure the mitten flap is over my bare fingers. Sloane looks at me and I know he doesn’t have a clue why I am wearing gloves in May.
“The door handle keeps getting me. That shit hurts.”
He starts laughing and I join in. “I know it’s silly but since this is all new I’m just not used to every aspect yet.”
I inspect my right hand and giggle some more.
And then Sloane makes me gasp when he grabs my gloved hand and the connection between us is even stronger than it before … and through fabric, no less! It is much too intense to ignore. I look up at him; I look at his eyes. Into his eyes. He is staring just as deeply.
“What I don’t understand is how you are going to get any stronger or learn more if you run away from such an opportunity.”
What opportunity is he talking about? Being with him? Learning from him? I honestly don’t know.
“I—I’m not running. Not really.” I mutter the last part under my breath. But hey – technically I walked out here. And now I am standing. That surely cannot be misconstrued as running.
Sucks that I know I’m wrong.
“You are running. I know it. I know you know it. But you don’t have to run, and you shouldn’t.” He grabs my hand, (which he is still holding onto) with his other hand. He wraps his fingers under my palm and pulls my hand toward him. I can honestly say I have never had anyone beg for anything from me before. I also have to admit that I like it. Especially when it’s Sloane. I bet a good numbers of girls would kill to be in my place right now, as far as Sloane is concerned.
But I have to keep a straight face and not let on that I’m enjoying any part of this.
“So what are you asking of me?” I attempt my best sly smirk, but throw in some annoyance. Like I really do have somewhere I want to go. Alone.
“It’s obvious you don’t want to stick around, but I am simply asking that you do. Please, for only one hour. Listen to what I have to say, maybe tell me some things, and you will learn that I am trustworthy.”
“I’m not so sure that’s a great idea. I really want to make sure my best friend is OK.” This is true … and it’s kind of scary learning how careful wording can make lies possible.
“I get that, I do. Why don’t you call her and see how she is and let her know you can see her in an hour? That is all I am asking. If you still don’t trust me or think we might have met for a reason—to help each other, then I will watch you walk away and never bother you again.”
No words come to mind. Nothing is coming to mind, in fact. Drool might end up on my chin soon, though, if I don’t get myself under control. I lick my lips and then purse them in thought. I think about how his warm, strong hands are still holding my little, fabric-covered one. He has long, slender, yet capable and manly fingers. Groomed nails but not so much that, well… He’s not questionable. At all. He simply takes pride in his appearance. And why shouldn’t he?
He interrupts my thoughts with a valid point I can’t even try to argue.
“Don’t you want to attempt to figure out what it is about us that is connected? Come up with some reason for why our physical qualities are exactly alike?”
I nod before I know what I’m doing. And I continue to nod like an idiot.
Sloane smiles and light seems to shine from his eyes. “So do you want to find somewhere with a strict non-smoking policy?”
Talking snaps me out of my hypnotic head-bobbing. “You noticed I’m not the biggest fan of cigarettes? Or really any smoke in general…”
“Yes, it was pretty obvious. So do you want to head somewhere and get to know each other a little more and possibly discover why we met—although I already have a good idea…?”
I cannot let him get the better of me. I have to pretend he is inconveniencing me. I need the upper hand here. I know … dirty girl trick, but it’s not like guys don’t do the same shit to us.
So I shake his hand jokingly and pull my hand away. Taking my glove off, I look into his eyes and arch an eyebrow. “One hour—that’s all you get. So you’d better make it worth it.”
He turns around to face the same way I am and places his hand gently on my lower spine, guiding me back across the street to the side the bar is on.
“It will be worth it. I promise. Besides, you know you would be kicking yourself later tonight when I popped into your mind…”
“Look at you getting all cocky. I’d keep that in check if I were you.” I give a sideways smile as I let him lead me into an old record store. It is more perfect than he could even imagine. Which makes me hope he hasn’t read me and is using that information to play me.
But I really believe he picked the first place that is open and isn’t a restaurant. The first step to me trusting him. Walking into the store, I feel this place connects us more than our skin does…