She had hoped that coming back to the group would bring some relief from all this mental turmoil. But if anything it had grown worse and was in danger sometimes of marring what should otherwise have been a time of great fulfillment. For Skye’s transformation had transformed the whole group. Since her quest she had become its center. She was joyous and vibrant and considerate to everyone around her, staff and students alike. Julia had never witnessed such a change. It was as if the girl had been reborn.
So, now, as soon as Skye arrived back with the feathers, Julia knew something was wrong. The face was locked in its old frown. When Julia asked her if she was all right, she just gave a curt nod and didn’t reply. A few minutes later, Mitch walked in. He did his best to hide it but Julia could see his nose had been bleeding and when she asked him what had happened he said he’d slipped and knocked his head on a tree. Later she saw him talking quietly with Paul and Wayne, who kept looking over toward Skye while they listened.
By now the sculpture was looking magnificent but Skye seemed to have lost interest. Instead, Byron had taken the lead. He got everyone to contribute something colored, a bandanna or even just some strips of paper, and these were all tied to Crazy Horse’s body. Lester found the skull of a badger and Scott some broken antlers and, along with Skye’s feathers, they used them to make an exotic headdress. And all the while, Skye sat to one side, sometimes watching and sometimes staring off into the distance. Every so often Julia would try to involve her but it was no good. When the sculpture was nearly done and the others were busy making final touches, Julia walked over and sat down beside her.
‘So what do you think? Not bad, huh?’
Skye looked across at the sculpture.
‘Yeah. It looks great.’
Her voice was lifeless and little and Julia looked her squarely in the face and saw there were tears in her eyes.
‘Okay. Tell me what happened.’
Skye shook her head and looked away. And the tears started to roll and she wiped them viciously away. Julia reached out and gently put her arm around her shoulders, half expecting to be shrugged off, but instead Skye turned to her and put her head on Julia’s chest and put her arms around her and sobbed. Julia stroked her hair and held her.
‘It’s okay, sweetheart, let it go. Just let it go.’
She glanced toward the sculpture and saw that Mitch and Wayne and Paul were staring at them. As soon as their eyes met hers, they looked away. Katie came over and asked if everything was all right and Julia said quietly that it was. Skye murmured something.
‘What, honey?’
‘I just get everything wrong.’
Julia tried again to find out what had happened but Skye wouldn’t say and soon she stopped crying and gathered herself. And by four o’clock, after they had eaten and set out on the trail again, leaving Crazy Horse behind them proudly guarding the creek, she seemed almost back to normal.
They made camp that night in a rocky bowl on the east side of Snake Mountain. While supper was being prepared, Julia walked a little way off and made the usual evening radio call back to base to let Glen know their position. She told him that the plan for tomorrow was to cross the ridge and head down to the river. Glen asked how things were going and she told him about Skye and that something had happened with Mitch but that now it all seemed to have settled down. They talked about a few routine things and Glen said that because of the hot, dry weather the Forest Service had upped the fire risk warning and that the group should take extra care with their campfires.
As they sat around the fire that evening, Julia kept alert for any sign of tension between Mitch and Skye, who was sitting beside her, but if anything was going on, neither of them was showing it. The first to speak in group was Lester. He said how much he’d enjoyed making the sculpture of Crazy Horse and made an affirmation in support of Byron, who’d done most of the work. Scott asked Skye about Indian names and how Crazy Horse had gotten his and she said she didn’t know but what she did know was that he’d had other names too, Curly and His Horses Looking. Byron said that in that book she was always reading nowadays there was a guy called Refuse To Go, which he thought was pretty cool. He said he guessed they got their names from something that happened or for doing something special. They discussed this for a while.
‘So what’s yours?’ Lester asked Skye.
‘Me?’ Skye smiled. ‘I don’t have one.’
‘Well, I think we ought to give you one,’ Lester said.
Mitch whispered something to Paul, who sniggered.
‘Would you like to share that with us, Mitch?’ Julia said.
‘No thanks, it was kind of private.’
‘Mitch, you know the rules. We don’t do that in group. Please tell us what you said.’
‘It was just a joke.’
‘So let’s all share it. Come on.’
He looked at Paul, who was grinning and shaking his head, then looked back at Julia. There was a cold defiance in his eyes and Julia suddenly knew she’d made a terrible mistake in pushing him.
‘Okay, if you really want me to, I said, seeing the two of you cuddling this afternoon, Skye ought to be called Munches On Beaver.’
Paul and Wayne laughed but otherwise there was a stunned silence. It took Julia a moment to believe her own ears. Everyone was looking at her and Skye.
‘Mitch, that is so out of order,’ Scott said and at the same time Byron said it was a mean and shitty thing to say and several others agreed. Skye had already gotten to her feet and was walking away from the circle.
‘Hey, man, it was joke, that’s all.’
‘It’s not a joke, you asshole,’ Byron said.
‘Hey, dude, just ’cos you’ve got the hots for her.’
Byron made a lunge at him and Scott had to restrain him. Julia was on her feet too now and she called after Skye, who paid no attention. She turned on Mitch.
‘Mitch, you and I are going to have a long talk about this.’
He held up his hands, all innocent. ‘Hey, I’m sorry, okay?’
‘No, it’s not okay.’
And before he could reply, she asked Katie to come with her and the two of them hurried off after Skye.
They found her and spent the next hour trying to comfort her. Eventually they persuaded her to come back to the circle where the others were all waiting. Mitch’s face showed that he had taken a serious drubbing while they had been away. Skye sat looking into the fire while he apologized to her and to Julia for what he had said, then Paul and Wayne apologized for laughing. Skye nodded but didn’t say a word or even glance at them. It was as though the door had closed again inside her.
Nobody felt like talking anymore and they put out the fire and, as usual, Katie and Laura and Scott collected everyone’s pants and boots and they settled down for the night. Julia and Katie lay either side of Skye. She said she was tired and wanted to go to sleep. She gave Julia a brave little smile.
‘Thank you,’ she said softly.
‘What for?’
‘For believing in me.’
Julia reached out and stroked her hair.
‘You’re a wonderful person, Skye.’
‘I’m not. I blew it all.’
‘You didn’t. These things happen. What other people say doesn’t change the way you are. Remember what we always say? It’s just part of the journey. Life isn’t about what happens to you, it’s about how you handle what happens. And the way you’ve been handling things is awesome.’
‘Maybe.’
‘Believe me.’
They said goodnight. Julia watched her for a long time, staring blankly at the sky. Then at last Skye closed her eyes and turned on her side and only when Julia was certain she was asleep did she allow heself to think of other things. And thinking, by habit now, of Connor, she drifted into sleep herself.
Up the mountain and over the ridge, little more than a mile from where the group was camped, the lightning of the previous night had nestled all this time in the old lodge
pole’s desiccated heart, a cocoon of dull heat that neither glowed nor any longer smoked. And had the wind not risen that night and funneled upward through the pine’s riven stem, along crevices carved in it by ants and mites, then this pupa of fire might well have died. Fanned by the breeze however, it fed on fragments of resinous wood until it glowed and grew and glowed yet brighter. And at last, in the witching of the night, it hatched.
The grass and scrub around and beneath the old tree were dry and brittle and rustled in the wind and when the stem torched, its entire length was engulfed within seconds and flaming fragments fell upon the grass which torched as well. And as the lodgepole’s limbs came asunder, they fell and rolled downhill, laying trails of flame in their wake which spread and joined and spread yet farther until the entire slope was ablaze.
Had none of the rolling limbs of flame reached the forest, the fire might have starved and died, but the largest found a steeper route and crashed and cartwheeled deep among the trees, sending showers of sparks as it went. And so parched was the forest that every spark found an eager host and every host became a fire of its own until all conjoined and roared as if in remonstration that want of water should have forced them to drink this other fatal element instead.
Whether it was the smell of smoke that woke her that morning or some other more mysterious summoning of her senses, Julia would never know. But as soon as she opened her eyes she knew something was wrong. When she smelled the smoke, her first thought was that they had failed to kill the campfire and with a pang of panic she sat up in her sleeping bag and peered through the muted light toward the place where they had sat last night. All was still with not even a wisp of smoke to be seen and now when she sniffed again the smell had gone. She must have imagined it or smelled traces of campfire smoke on her clothes or in her hair and in her half-awake state turned it into something else. She breathed out in relief and again lay down.
But something still seemed wrong.
Or at least different. Maybe it was the stirring of the trees. There hadn’t been so much as a breeze for many days. And she had almost convinced herself that this was all that was bothering her, when again she smelled smoke. She sat up once more. Everyone around her was still asleep. Skye was buried deep in her sleeping bag, as she often slept, with the top pulled right over her head. Julia looked at her watch. It was a little after five-thirty. She slipped from her sleeping bag and stood up. She took her shorts and boots from the locked duffel bag that she used for a pillow and put them on then headed off up through the trees.
There was a narrow trail made by deer and she followed it for about half a mile, glancing up from time to time through the pines that towered above her, their tops swaying back and forth in the wind. The smell of smoke was growing stronger all the time. At last she saw a clearing ahead of her and as she came to it and stepped out of the trees, she got her first clear view of the sky and of Snake Mountain rearing above her, the sun just catching its eastern tip and lighting the cloud that was drifting away behind it. And Julia was just thinking how beautiful it looked when she noticed that the sky elsewhere was clear and that this wasn’t a normal cloud, but a windblown column of smoke and she felt a chill of dread run over her.
She ran back down through the trees as fast as she could safely go. When she reached camp nobody had stirred. Holding her finger to her lips, she gently woke Katie and Laura and Scott and mouthed to them to come with her. They huddled out of earshot of the students and Julia told them in a whisper that there was a forest fire and that they should get everyone up and dressed as fast as they could, but not to panic them.
‘It’s on the other side of the mountain. If we hike out the way we came, we’ll be fine. Any questions? Okay. You get everyone moving. I’m going to call Glen.’
She took out the radio and was walking away from them, adjusting the controls, when Katie came running after her.
‘Julia! Julia!’
Julia turned and waited for her to come close. Katie was still wearing the T-shirt and underpants she slept in.
‘Skye’s gone.’
‘What?’
‘She must have slipped away in the night. She stuffed her pack into her sleeping bag. She’s taken my boots and pants and gone.’
11
Ed was floating in a fabulous palm-fringed pool in California. The sun was dancing on the water and at the far end of the pool there was a long white house and a terrace of exotic flowers and he could hear the ocean nearby and he knew he’d really made it big as a composer because it all belonged to him - well, maybe not the ocean, but everything else did, including the beautiful woman sunbathing naked on the terrace. He was gliding slowly toward her and the water felt silky and sensual and he knew exactly what he was going to do when he reached her. Then a phone started ringing. Until that moment he’d had no doubt whatsoever that the woman was Julia, but now the damn phone was messing everything up and when she lifted her head and smiled at him - whoa there! It was his mother.
He opened his eyes wide and in the same instant the phone stopped ringing and he heard Connor in the living room, answering it.
‘Hello? Hi, Hank. Yes, he is.’ There was a long pause. ‘Okay, I’ll tell him. We’re on our way.’
He hung up and a moment later appeared in the doorway of Ed’s room.
‘Ed?’
‘God, what time is it?’
‘Time to get your chute on, old buddy.’
‘Where’s the fire?’
‘In the Lewis and Clark. Snake Mountain.’
Ed sat up.
‘That’s where—’
‘I know. Julia’s fine. They’re on the other side of the mountain and moving out. But one of the group’s missing.’
It was Katie who first found Skye’s footprints. She recognized the tread pattern of her own boots in a place she hadn’t walked, in the dust at the start of the trail that Julia had taken earlier up toward the ridge. While Katie put on Skye’s pants and boots, Julia grabbed a day pack and quickly put together what they might need: some food and water, a map of the mountain, a compass and a pair of binoculars. Now the two of them were following Skye’s tracks up through the trees. It was hard going. The trail was mostly covered with pine needles and sometimes they would lose the footprints for as much as twenty or thirty yards before finding them again in a patch of dust.
In a series of radio conversations, Glen and Julia had worked out a plan: Scott and Laura would hike out south with the rest of the students while Julia and Katie began searching for Skye. The Forest Service and the police had already been alerted. The fire had been reported just before Julia first radioed in. It had been spotted by two wildlife biologists flying the continental divide. A planeload of smoke jumpers was on its way from Missoula.
‘Your boyfriend’s on his way to save you,’ Glen said. ‘It’s so romantic.’
She nearly snapped at him but didn’t. She knew he meant well, but it wasn’t a time for jokes. And she had no idea whether it was true. It was over a week since she had been able to speak to Ed. She didn’t know how recently he or Connor had jumped and how high they therefore were on the jump list. For all she knew, they might both have been sent down to fight fires in California. She half hoped they had.
Katie was going on and on about how guilty she felt for not stowing her boots and pants securely, which was one of the basic WAY rules. Julia had told her three times already that she shouldn’t be too hard on herself and that it could happen to any of them. But as they followed Skye’s footprints up the trail and came out into the clearing, she lost patience and stopped.
‘Listen, Katie. You feel bad, I feel bad. I should have seen it coming. We should have put her on watch and taken it in turns to sleep. So let’s just take it as read that we both feel guilty and get on with the job of finding her.’
It sounded sharper than she had intended. Katie looked chastened and just nodded and they didn’t speak again for a long while except when they lost Skye’s tracks and split up and one of
them hollered to say she had found them again.
What Julia had said about her own feelings of guilt wasn’t the half of it. Although she still didn’t know what had happened yesterday between Skye and Mitch, she knew it was her fault that they had been allowed to wander out of sight. If she had been more vigilant, none of this would have happened. She also reproached herself for letting things become so tactile with Skye. Lately they had become almost like sisters, often putting an arm around each other. She hadn’t thought about it, as she should have done, it just seemed so natural, but it was this that had no doubt prompted Mitch’s lesbian taunt.
In hindsight, Skye’s transformation had seemed such a breakthrough, after all those weeks of tension and heartache, that Julia had allowed the mood to become too relaxed. She had forgotten how easily things could go wrong.
And things didn’t go much more wrong than this - a student missing on a burning mountain. Julia didn’t consider herself religious. Since falling foul of the nuns at elementary school, she was about as lapsed as a Catholic could be. But looking up toward the ridge and seeing the plume of gray smoke that stained the sky behind it, she found herself muttering Hail Marys to the rhythm of her footfall.
Three-quarters of the way up to the ridge, the trail turned to gravel and rock and the footprints vanished. But the terrain on either side was so harsh that Julia doubted that Skye would have deviated. It depended on what the girl had in mind. Kids on the run in an unknown mountain wilderness usually did one of two things. They either followed a drainage down in the hope that it led to a road or headed for a high place in the hope of getting their bearings and spotting the best route of escape. Skye’s tracks so far suggested the latter. But there was another possibility which Julia hardly dared contemplate; perhaps the girl was looking for another kind of escape, a more permanent one.