“We’re not getting married,” Braden says it like a fact—and in front of Rowen of all people. Rowen must feel vindicated by the slight my brother just afforded his non-fiancée.
Dinner goes about as smoothly as a morning jog in a minefield. By the time dessert comes and we sing a wonky version of “Happy Birthday,” we’re all pretty much done with pretending that we can stand one another.
Dad excuses himself to the restroom a moment, and all hell breaks loose with Becca nearly slapping the sense right out of my brother’s head and Mindy slopping a scoop of her ice cream into my hair—but I’m far too interested in Rowen at the moment to care.
“Smooth move, calling my dad and scoring an invite to the party of the year. And bringing your backup bitch? That’s just charming.”
Rita gives an audible gasp.
Mindy leans in with a maniacal laugh. “At least I don’t wear my crazy for the entire world to see!”
Damn. I forgot all about my dead eye. So not sexy.
Rowen reaches over and picks up my hand. A daring move that might cost him his own eye with my brother around. “I didn’t come here for your dad, Sophie.” More gasps from Rita. Can’t the girl mind her own business? “I came here for you. I’d move the world just to be with you.”
“Watch it.” Braden glares at him a moment before his leg thumping gets out of control and the entire table lifts and falls with the anxious move of his foot. “Wait a minute. You two haven’t…”
“They had better not have,” Mindy says with just as much disdain and malice.
“And if we did, it would still be none of your business.” I turn fully to Rowen. “Please, just tell me everything so that things can happily resume between us.”
He glances to my brother as if asking permission, and what the hell is that about?
Dad comes back, and we collect our things in haste, walking out of the restaurant in one huge angry mob.
I don’t bother saying good night to Mindy or Rowen. I simply kiss my father on the cheek and make a run for my car.
Tonight had far too many pieces, too many jagged edges for me to navigate.
If I had stayed another second too long, I would have cut myself beyond recognition.
It’s bad enough I don’t recognize Braden, Rowen, or Mindy anymore.
Homecoming is a once-in-a-lifetime event that only takes place four or five times in a college student’s scholastic career according to Ember’s loose logic. Both Violet and she insisted that I get myself a cute Leland Cougars-inspired outfit together, followed by getting my cute Leland Cougar ass to the game. Vi’s words, not mine. And I do. The three of us sit in the student section, cheering for the home team, casting hexes on our Bixby rivals. But I’m not as hyped up as I have been at the preceding games. Tonight is a big night for Rowen—for all of Leland and I wish I were in a better, far less bitter and slightly sexually repressed state of mind for it.
The game goes off like a quarterback’s dream as we win thirty-five to nothing. A shutout, a blowout—but all I can think about is a blowjob. Every time they show Rowen up on that big screen with his face the size of a billboard, all I can focus on is those lips and the things they can do to me. I never knew you could crave kisses to the point of agony. Every last part of my body misses being kissed by those golden lips.
After the game, Vi and Ember head over to the Underground, but I’m far too stubborn—yes, Vi has called it—to go with them in the event Rowen is there looking fresh scrubbed and dapper for all to see. I know me. My body would fall to the floor and conduct some serious worship. And I’m just not ready to give in. Yes, Braden and Rowen are being as stubborn as hell regarding their secrets, but they have no clue who they’re pitted against.
But late in the night, just after midnight, when the Underground is drained of most of its patrons, I can’t help but think of Rowen. Vi and Ember still aren’t back, but I’m betting Rowen is. I pull on my green and white polka dot robe and head straight for Holt Tower. I’ll just knock on the door, and if Rowen is ready to have a clear-headed adult conversation, then fine. Okay—so what if it is a bona fide booty call that lands me at his door and not some clear-headed adult conversation? Who the hell cares. I’m trying to loosen up as Ember so indelicately suggested. I’m trying to push myself past my stubborn limits, and I can practically see Violet nod in approval.
I give a brisk knock and nothing happens, but I swear I hear voices coming from inside. I give another round of more aggressive fist pumps over his door, and this time it swings violently opened.
Standing before me is a half-dressed Rowen Garret, body of a devil, face of an angel. And just like that, behind him pops a demon—Becca Carmichael. Yes, she’s fully dressed, purse in hand, scowl on face, but she’s IN HIS ROOM AFTER MIDNIGHT!
“I just thought maybe we could talk,” I say without warrant. “I didn’t realize you were having a half-dressed conversation of your own already. I can see you’re busy.”
I run like hell all the way back to Canterbury.
Becca had seen the fissure in my relationship with Rowen, and she didn’t waste time wedging herself in the gap.
Maybe there’s a lesson here to learn.
Give your boyfriend the time he needs to get his confessional act together.
And for shit’s sake stop being so darn stubborn.
Sunday—aka Halloween Day, arrives like a witch on a broom, ornery and full of venom and spite. It takes all I’ve got to get out of bed at the early hour of eleven thirty in the morning. By the time I shower and dress, Vi and Ember beg me to run down for a quick cup of joe before our day explodes in a vat of makeup and prosthetics.
We get our drinks and take a seat outside where girls and guys alike do a double take as they pass me by. I never envisioned myself having any level of fame, so the fact I feel constantly watched makes me want to crawl right out of my skin.
“How dare Dexter Houston ruin my life.” Those are the first words to leave my mouth as we take our ice-cold seats. It’s freezing out, but the skies are clear and we’d be remiss not to sit out here where we can people-watch freely what with all the witches and goblins but mostly Disney whores running amuck to amuse us. Halloween never was my favorite day, but that didn’t stop me from amusing myself at other people’s expense.
Ember clacks her orange sparkling nails over her cup and laughs. “You do realize you signed up for this madness.”
“Yes, no thanks to you. And you.” I let Violet in on the fun.
“So, what’s on the board for tonight?” Vi’s eyes grow wild with anticipation. They were both there last night when I ran into my room screaming that I would chop off Rowen’s giant hairy balls and that I might throw in Becca’s giant hairy boobs. Once they convinced me that genital mutilation of others wasn’t my best option, I went ahead and did the obligatory cry-yourself-to-sleep thing.
“Seth has highly encouraged me to take this opportunity to dress up as whatever I like,” I inform them. “At the moment, I’m leaning toward voodoo princess complete with miniaturized heads of both Braden and Rowen, but I wouldn’t mind having a replica of Becca on a spit. The devil is in the details. In Becca’s case, the devil is the details.”
“Sounds perfectly satanic.” Ember looks as if she’s about to hurl. “How about something a little more angelic? Like a sexy fairy or a sexy maid, or a sexy cat, or a sexy—”
“Me.” I straighten at the revelation. “I think I know exactly what I want to be. But I’ll leave the big reveal for later. What do you skanks have on the agenda this evening?” When you can call people a skank freely to their face, that’s when you know your friendship has gone to another level. And I feel that with Violet and Ember. These are not only the best skanks on campus, they’re my skanks and I love them.
Ember rolls her coffee cup between her hands like she were about to flatten it like clay. “We’re hitting all the Greek parties tonight. I’m hoping for a personal wolf man whose bark is just as dangerous as his bite.?
??
I consider my friend’s need to be bitten and yelled at for a moment. “Lovely. And you, Vi? What forms of abuse, pray tell, are you looking forward to?”
Vi takes a breath and stares off in a daze. “I’m just looking for someone who can make me forget about my troubles.” She shakes her head as if coming to. “You know what? Scratch that. I don’t need anyone to help me forget my troubles. I’m just looking to have a good time.”
“Can I ask if you’ve had any more Lame sightings?” I cringe at the thought of asking, but I know he’s on her mind, and I want to be there for her.
“Yes,” she groans and her eyes close for a moment, but I would swear it wasn’t with regret but relief. “He’s everywhere. He’s like an apparition. I just think of him and, boom, he appears. We haven’t said anything to one another, though.”
“Not even a hello?” Ember marvels at how far Vi is willing to go to make this boy suffer.
“Nope.” Vi takes a quick sip of her drink. Her eyes moisten with tears. “I don’t think we should ever say anything to one another again.”
It’s clear her heart is still freshly broken. And considering the fact she’s group B of Dexter’s guinea pigs, I sure hope she’ll find someone, anyone to take her mind off her heartache. I’m familiar with old wounds. They don’t heal quickly, if at all.
Ember bounces her cup to the center of the table. “To not needing a man in our lives to make us whole, happy, or complete.”
“I second that.” Vi is quick to knock lattes with her.
“Hear, hear,” I say, but I don’t really mean it. A very real part of me needs Rowen to make me whole, happy, and complete.
And surprisingly, I don’t hate that part of me.
At exactly six o’clock, I show up in full costume to the lower level of the psychology building to complete my fifth week of the social experiment. I’m pretty sure Rowen will show up, unless Ro’s ho—aka Becca, has him waylaid.
Seth greets me outside his office, and I watch as his eyes do that elevator thing up and down over my body. “I never expected you to go all out like this.”
“You like?” I do a little twirl, and just as I’m about to fill him in on what it took to put this extravagant look together, Petra and Rowen show up.
Rowen is resplendent in his official Leland jersey, his jeans, and sneakers. He’s charmingly casual, no blood, no guts, no gore.
His dimples break out as he takes me in. “I can see you dressed up as a princess.”
Petra slaps her hand over her forehead. “She didn’t dress up at all. Do you want me to find you a tiara or something? My roommate is a cheerleader. You’re about the same size. You can borrow her uniform. It’d be a cute couples’ costume, and the viewers would love it!”
I shake my head at the offer. “No thanks. I actually did dress up.” I hold my hands out to my seemingly non-costume consisting of a sweater and jeans. “I’m the Sophie Meyer from three years ago who was madly in love with a god named Rowen Garret.”
A pained smile crosses Rowen’s perfect face. “Then I’m Rowen Garret from three years ago.” He picks up my hand and kisses my knuckle. “The one who discovered he was madly in love with Sophie Meyer just a moment before his world disbanded.”
The world around me slows into a thick warble. What did he just say?
“I love this,” Seth says, navigating us toward the boisterous conference room where a full-blown Halloween party is underway. “We can title this scene, The Time Warp.”
“It’s perfect.” Petra straightens Rowen’s jersey. “Since production wants to wrap early, we’re throwing all of you together for dinner, drinks, and dancing. Twenty minutes of each, but do as you wish. You’re table number thirty-five.”
We’re miked up and sent into the extremely dim lit room. A roar of voices and costumes of every caliber abound as Rowen leads us to a table in the back where thankfully the chaos around us is slightly buffered.
A waitress comes by and plops down a tray of nachos in front of us and offers to bring us each the cocktail of the evening. “It looks as if tonight’s venue is being hosted by the Underground.”
“So here we are.” Rowen looks tired, hurt, and yet painfully happy.
“The Time Warp aside for a moment, are you getting back together with Becca?”
“No,” he says it so fast and sharp I can’t help but believe him.
“Good, because I’d hate to have to kick your ass in front of all these people. It would have been very humiliating for you. Speaking of humiliating, have you kicked Dexter’s ass yet?”
Rowen belts out a laugh, and just like that, all the tension, the hurt, and the pain that I’ve been carrying around melts to nothing.
“He’s done a disappearing act, but Petra says he’ll be back in town come Monday for our final week. But I don’t want to talk about him or Becca.” He winces. “Actually, there’s something I have to tell you, and it very much does involve Bec.”
My stomach sours, and suddenly my appetite for all things slathered in fake orange cheese does a Dexter.
“It’s true what I said back there. I was in love you.” He shakes his head as if trying to refute it. “I wanted your brother to tell you what happened among the three of us—him, Becca, and me. I thought if I stepped in and told you first, you wouldn’t believe me.”
“I always believe you.” My heart aches, a painful lump the size of a plum lands in my throat, and it hurts like hell to get the words out. “I would believe your word over Braden’s. I trust you with my life. You were my life. It’s true. Tanner Carmichael was code for Rowen Garret. Mindy would have hated me for admitting it back then, like I’m sure she does now.”
He closes his eyes a moment. “She told me once that she wished you were into me the way you were into Tanner. She said she wished you could really be her sister one day, and if you married me, you would be.”
My mouth goes slack. “I wish that skank said something. And trust me, the fact I’ve just called her that name means I’ve completely brought her back into the fold. I want to make things right with Mindy, too. So tell me this secret that’s been eating you up for the last three years. And don’t stop until every last detail is out.”
I brace myself against the table as if his words had the power to wash me right out of the room, and I’m convinced they do.
“Becca was cheating on me.”
My heart stops right there. Who the hell in their right mind would cheat on someone as perfect as Rowen? A crazy batshit witch like Becca, that’s who.
He growls. “I had suspected it for some time. We stopped pretty much acting like a couple. Becca was still making it seem like everything was fine to the rest of the world, but I was looking for a way to stop the madness and get out while I still had my sanity intact. In the meantime, Mindy told me about how she felt, how she wished I had someone better in my life, someone like you.” I swallow hard. I had no idea I owed so much to my former best friend. “I asked Tanner if he planned on taking you to the prom and he said no, so I ran the idea of me taking you by Mindy, and, of course, she was thrilled. I let Becca know I was going to ask you as a friend, and things pretty much unraveled quickly. She said she was fine with it, but I knew that was far from the truth.” His lips turn down into a solid frown as if he were fighting hard to hold back his emotions. “I knew the day before the accident that I was in love with you, Sophie. I didn’t know what to do with those feelings. You were—still are—Braden’s little sister. I wanted to talk to Braden about you—about the fact I was going to cut strings with Becca. It never made sense to me why she would sneak around my back. Why not just break things off with me? But she liked to save face. She values what her friends think about her more than she does anything that’s real.
“So the accident happened, and thankfully, we were all fine. I moved my plans to ask you for the next day. That accident made me realize that life could be taken away in a moment.”
“It was a fender bender.”
> He makes a face, reminding me of the fact I promised not to interrupt.
“So I needed to find Becca, to break it off, to tell her how I felt about you—that it was far more than friends—and Mindy happened to mention she was already at your house. I didn’t call. I just showed up.” His jaw clenches as he loses his gaze at the table a moment. “You and Mindy were in the basement, so I went on the hunt for Becca and Braden.” My stomach tightens because I don’t like where this is headed. “I found them in his bedroom. They were naked. She was—”
“I don’t want to know.” A thousand pornographic visuals run through my mind of Becca and Braden in every sexual position known to man. Sometimes having an active imagination can really work against you.
“I’m sorry, but they were going at it, hot and heavy.” He shrugs because that’s just what it was. “I feel like you need to know that. The guy Becca was cheating on me for months with was my best friend, your brother.”
An ache so deep and wide infiltrates me, and it’s all I can do to drop my face in my hands and sob.
“I’m sorry, Soph.” Rowen pulls me over and lands me onto his lap. “I never wanted to hurt you. I wanted to shield you from the truth.”
“Three years drifted by. Braden would never have copped to that. It’s not that Braden is bad. It’s just that—oh hell, I don’t know. It’s a crap thing that Braden did. He hurt you, and he hurt Mindy and me without realizing it. He could have told me the truth, and I wouldn’t have lost Mindy, and I wouldn’t have lost you.” I give his chest a gentle swat. “But if you loved me, why did you let me go?”
“Because I loved Braden, too. I didn’t want to cause a fissure between you two. You had already lost so much.” His voice cracks as he buries his face in my hair a moment. “Do you forgive me?”
“Rowen.” I pull back in disbelief. “There is nothing to forgive. If anything, Braden needs to beg your forgiveness—and so do I. Mindy stuck by your side and said you did nothing wrong, but I wouldn’t listen. I defended him.”