Chapter 18 – Is She Worth It?
“You think he’s lying?” Tyuin asked as they entered his meeting room. Catherine slapped her hands on the table and leaned into them.
“I don’t think so.”
“Then what are we dealing with here?” Tyuin sat down in his personal chair and bowed his head as Remi and the rest piled into the room and took a seat respectively. Remi felt confident enough to walk on her own accord and so she did with confidence. It was a false bravado, but she had to do something to alleviate their minds. Dominic’s insults had stung the most, even more than her objectification.
She had started coming to terms with her illness, but now she had to deal with the notion that she might not even be human. Not a Deja. Not a human. Nothing. Just a weapon under the control of her masters. As far as she remembered, everything about her was normal, as much as one could say it was. It’s not like she received any signs as to her origin. No mysterious person ever contacted her directly. There was no spirits watching her from the town line. No guardians in the night or visions of other worlds.
Her life was as mundane as it could get, and that’s exactly why she left. There was nothing for her back at home. If the Sorcerer who created her wanted her to be a good little girl and stay put, then they should have made her more content. Unless…
“I don’t think they control me,” Remi blurted out. Tyuin raised his head.
“What do you mean?”
“If Dominic is right, and I was made into a weapon, I don’t think my entire being was formed by the Sorcerer. My body maybe, but not who I am as a person. My personality was untouched.”
“How does this help us?” Catherine asked, sitting on the table and examining Remi meticulously. Remi shifted her weight and cleared her throat.
“Well…it means that they’re not all-powerful. They can’t just make a person from scratch.”
“But how do you know you weren’t?”
“Because of how unsatisfied I was,” she said. “My parents were horrible people. My childhood was either boring or abusive. My illness kept me from having fun or gaining friends. My future looked bleak and I had little aspirations. I had no choice but to look for a better life.”
“Or the Sorcerer devised those conditions so that you would stay put, and they would know where you were at all times. Assuming you can be tracked of course.”
“Even so, if they had all power over me, they would have tweaked my personality so that I was more docile when the opposite couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m not weak. I’ve wanted to run away from my camp as far back as I can remember but I didn’t have the knowledge or strength to do so. As soon as I was old enough to weigh the pros and cons of leaving, I made a decision to go.”
“And so what does this all mean?”
“It means that I can find the others,” Remi declared, glancing over at Kace momentarily. “At first, I wanted to find the Sorcerers in order to be the best, but I see now that’s not what I should do. I should find the other weapons like me and bring them to our side so that we can defeat Cimmerian, and in turn, remove the Sorcerers’ hold over us.”
“We don’t know why the Sorcerers did what they did,” Tyuin said. “There might be some kind of balance involved. Not to mention that we’re still going off of the word of our enemy and a murderer.”
“That’s why you should leave it up to me,” Remi replied, patting her chest. “I’ve got nothing to lose, and if any of the other weapons are self-aware, they might even contact me.”
“On the contrary, you have everything to lose,” Tyuin said. “If Cimmerian was able to unlock the secrets behind the weapons that the Sorcerers gave us, who’s to say that they can’t do the same for you? They will hunt you down.”
“And the Sorcerers will notice,” she replied. “The alternative is to either fight Cimmerian wave after wave like Dominic said, or actually be proactive with this. Paragon doesn’t have to be involved and I hold no real allegiances anyway.”
“Any objections?” Tyuin asked Catherine, who in turn shrugged her shoulders.
“It’s not up to us what Remi can and cannot do. But we should still be cautious about our next move. Dominic might not be lying about all this, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t holding back some of the truth. There could be more to the story.”
“You think the Sorcerers had something to do with your illness?” Kace asked.
Remi frowned at the floor. “I suppose. I guess it would be a way for me to stay put.”
“There’s the possibility that they could make it worse.”
“I’m willing to take that risk.”
“For what though?” Kace asked, his face scrunched up in worry. “Why would you risk your life so casually?”
“Because there’s a reason I exist,” she said, grabbing Kace’s shoulders. “I was wasting away in that camp, wondering why I was as useful as dirt. I had nothing to look forward to. Nothing to believe in or strive for, and so…I took a chance. I tried to make a life for myself in the outside world and while it didn’t pay off in the way I thought it would…I did find more than I imagined. There is a reason I exist and now I understand my purpose. I may be frail and tired and I can’t do much to help in battle…but I am important. I can make a difference, as small as it may be.”
“But what do you think you can accomplish? Pissing off the Sorcerers, fighting Cimmerian…hoping that the other weapons will talk to you if you even find them…what are you striving for?”
“Awesomeness,” she said, and Kace couldn’t help but chuckle at that.
“Awesomeness?” he snickered, putting a hand to his mouth.
“Yes, awesomeness,” she replied, giving him a huge smile. “The exact opposite of how I was living and who I was. Death…has never scared me, because I was sitting by its doorstep every day. So now, while I’m still breathing, I’m going to live it up. I’m going to fall in love and kill some bad guys. I’m going take down giants and learn new techniques. I’m going to see the world and make new friends and learn how to tell great jokes. I’m going to be the life of the party and the rock of the group I’ll create. That’s who I’m going to be. I’m the new and improved Remi.”
“I can get behind that,” he laughed. “But where do I fit in all this?”
“In my bed,” she said and Catherine and Tyuin burst out laughing.
“Goodness,” Catherine laughed as Tyuin tried to keep himself from shaking.
“You are certainly interesting,” Tyuin said. “That’s for sure.”
“I’ll be with you wherever you go,” Kace promised. “As long as I can grow with you.”
“Of course,” she said. “Us weaklings have to stick together.”
Kace groaned. “My people would kill me if they heard that I was called a weakling.”
“It’s okay. We get our asses kicked together.”
“Hooray,” he said flatly. Catherine and Tyuin cracked up laughing again. The door opened suddenly and Catherine leapt from the table, rushing over to the two ladies that came in. One was a short older woman with mouse-like features and long hair. She walked in with an air of authority and even with Catherine’s outburst, she remained stoic for the most part. A smile did erupt from her lips for a second, but it disappeared as quickly as it had arrived.
The other woman was young, only a little older than Remi, and she had wild, dirty blonde hair and a playful look in her eye.
“How did it go?” Catherine asked them. The stoic one with the small eyes allowed a smirk to come upon her face.
“Easy,” she said. “Our training has certainly helped.”
“Excellent. Any signs of imposing forces?”
“We waited around a while so I don’t think so, but that’s not the reason I came back here. We have a little surprise for you.”
“Oh?”
The door opened further and in walked five more people. Three of them were in their mid-teens, and they had terrified looks on their faces that said they were new to th
is. But Catherine practically tackled the other two. One had a full head of spiked red hair and he had a calm demeanor that instantly made Remi like him, and the other was stone faced but appeared strong.
“Achan! Zhou!” Catherine shouted. “I can’t believe this!”
“We’re here,” Achan replied, studying her face so meticulously that Remi figured out that they had to either be very old friends or ex-lovers.
“Hello, Catherine,” Zhou replied, giving her a hug. “It’s been too long.”
“You traveled here all the way from Paragon?”
“We’re not much,” Achan said. “But we figured Allay would need the assistance.”
“You’re more than enough. We haven’t seen each other in over twenty years…I feel like I nearly forgot your faces. This is so surreal.”
“We’ll have plenty of time to catch up when this is all over.”
“How…how’s James?”
“He wishes he could be here, more than anything. But he’s dealing with something terrible at the moment.”
“That’s surprising,” she said solemnly. “He would usually drop everything to see me.”
“He would,” Achan reassured her. “Trust me, what he’s dealing with now…it’s as bad as it gets.”
“Okay,” she said, her voice starting to crack at the end. “Well, we certainly have plenty to do. We can help the wall reconstruction for one.”
“Let’s not be too hasty on that,” Tyuin said. “With such a gaping hole, at least we know where the enemy will be coming from. I doubt they will take the extra time to find another route if they are confident in their army’s abilities.”
“We’re here to help however you need us,” Zhou declared, just as a booming sound erupted from outside. They all ducked instinctively except Tyuin who leapt to his feet.
“It’s too soon,” he said in horror. “We can’t do this now.”
“We have no choice,” Zhou said. “Don’t worry. We’ll handle this.”
“We’re going to spread out,” Catherine ordered. “A pair for each main wall. Achan and Zhou, you take the west. Daisy and two of the young Sages to the north. Talia and another young one to the south.”
“You’re going at it alone?” Talia asked with a scowl.
Catherine smiled. “I’m taking Remi and Kace with me to the east.”
A silence fell over the room.
“No offense,” Talia began. “But I hardly think that—”
“—we’ll be just fine,” she said. “Now head out. I’ll be there in a moment. I have to discuss something with my team.” The others left as Catherine addressed Kace and Remi. Only Tyuin remained to watch. “Any objections to running with me?”
“I haven’t gotten my strength back,” Remi said. “I won’t be much help.”
“Oh come on now. That doesn’t sound like the fired up girl I saw only a few minutes ago. The way I see it…you have plenty of strength inside of you, if only you would stop doubting yourself.”
“I can’t guarantee your safety,” Remi said, trying to keep the tears back. “It’s not that I don’t believe in myself. I do. But I’m also aware of my limits. And rushing into battle so soon…it’s not going to be good.”
“This battle could be it for all of us. As Tyuin stated earlier, the odds are that Cimmerian is sending their best to fight us, and we need every Sage we’ve got to help. If you can’t even go from one battle to the next, how will your survive when both Cimmerian and the Sorcerers are after you? Or when you’ll barely get any sleep or rest? Forget your limits and just do it. Stop thinking about it and just do it.”
“I’ll try my best,” she whispered and Catherine seemed pleased with herself.
“Great. Watch my back and I’ll watch yours. We’re together in this.”
“Think of it as training,” Kace said, putting a hand on Remi’s back. “But if you want, I can carry you to the location.”
“No,” Remi said adamantly. “I can walk. If we’re going to be engaging the enemy, I want to show them that I won’t let anything hold me back.”
“That’s the spirit,” Catherine said, turning to Tyuin. He nodded in her direction and then the three of them left the room.
Remi was feeling more confident than before, but that didn’t mean she was completely prepared. If only she could get her hands to stop shaking…