DOWN THE FLUME WITH THE SNEATH PIANO
BY
BAILEY MILLARD
Reprinted from _The Century Magazine_ by permission
I HAD halted at Camp Five to catch my breath. This flying down a Sierranlumber-flume, scurrying through the heady air like another Phaeton, wastoo full of thrills to be taken all in one gasp. I dropped limply intothe rawhide-bottomed chair under the awning in front of the big boardshanty which was on stilts beside the airy flume, and gazed on down thelong, gleaming, tragic, watery way to the next steep slide. Then Ilooked at the frail little flume-boat which had borne Oram Sheets and methus far on our hazardous journey to the valley. Perhaps I shivered abit at the prospect of more of this hair-raising adventure. At any rate,Oram, the intrepid flume-herder, laughed, dug his picaroon into a log,and asked:
"Sorry yeh come? Wal, it does git onto a man's nerve the first trip.Strange so many brash ones like you wanter try, but few on 'em ever dastgit in ag'in. But I've be'n down so often." Then he peered about thecabin. "Looks like none o' the boys was to home. Wish they was; theymight git us up a little dinner. It's jest twelve."
He went inside the open door, and I heard him foraging about, theshanty echoing hollowly to the clumping of his big boots. By and by hisnasal note was resumed:
"Come in, pardner! Here's a great find: a big can o' green gages an' ahunk o' jerk an' a lot o' cold biscuits."
Inside, with my legs under the greasy, coverless table, I chewed thejerk like one who was determined to give his jaws the benefit ofstrenuous physical culture, and listened while Oram rattled on, with hismouth full of the sodden, half-baked biscuits.
"You mightn't think it," said he, "but three years ago this here was themost scrumptious camp on the hull flume. Ol' man Hemenway lived herethen with his daughter Jess. She kep' house fer him. Jess was a greatgal. Every man along the flume, from Skyland to Mill Flat, was in lovewith her. Shape? You couldn't beat that there gal for figger if yeh wasto round up every actress in the country. She had a pair o' big roundbaby-blue eyes, an' was as pretty as any o' them there cigarettepicters. A little on the strawbary-blonde, but not too much red in herhair, an' yet spunky as a badger when yeh teased her.
"The boys down this way didn't have much show. It looked like Jess hadhit it off with Jud Brusie, a big, husky, clean-lookin' chap up to theh'ist. Jud used ter send her down notes stuck in sticks wedged inter theclamps, an' he used ter sneak down this way on Sundays when he'd git achanst. She'd meet him up to the Riffles there by that big bunch o'yaller pines we passed. He didn't dast come down here nary time till ol'man Hemenway he got laid up with a busted laig from slippin' off thetrestle in the snow. That there was Jud's show ter git in his fine work.Used ter bring down deer-meat for the ol' man, an' sody-water from thatthere spoutin' spring up ter Crazy Canon; an' it begun to look likeHemenway'd give in an' let him have her. But he seemed to hold off.
"The boys used ter nearly josh the life out o' Jud. One fellow--his namewas Phil Pettis--was skunkin' mean enough to read a note Jud sent downoncet an' tell about it roun' Skyland; but that was the only time any of'em ever done anything like that, fer Jud jest laid fer Phil an' wentthrough him like a buzz-saw an' chucked him inter the flume.
"No, it didn't kill Phil, but he got tol'able well used up. His clotheswas nearly all tore off, an' his hands got some bruised where he caughton to the aidges before he got a holt an' lifted himself out in a stillplace. He'd be'n all right only he got mixed up with a string o' lumberthat was a-comin' down, an' so he had to go to the hospital.
"One thing about Jess--she was a singer all right. I ain't never heer'dary one o' them there the-_ay_-ter gals that could beat her singin'. Shewarbled like a lark with his belly full o' grubworms. It was wuth ridin'a clamp from here to Mill Flat to hear her sing. She had a couple o'hymn-books an' a stack o' them coon songs the newspapers gives away, an'I tell yeh, she'd sing them there songs like she'd knowed 'em all herlife. Picked out the tunes some ways on a little string-thing like asawed-off guitar. Sounds like muskeeters hummin' aroun'. Yes, amandy-linn--that's it. But that there mandy-linn didn't soot her alittle bit. She was crazy ter have a pianner. I heer'd her tell her paw,who was aroun' ag'in workin' after his busted laig got well, she'd giveten years o' her life for any ol' cheap pianner he could skeer up ferher.
"'Wal,' says he, 'how in tunket am I a-goin' ter git anything likethat--thirty miles off'n the road, an' nary way o' freightin' it up ordown the canon to this camp?'
"'Couldn't yeh have it brung up to Skyland by the stage road,' asts she,'an' then have it rafted down the flume? Jest a little one?' she astsvery earnest-like.
"'Gee whittaker!' says he, laughin' all over. 'You'll be a-wantin' 'emto send yeh down a parlor-keer nex'.'
"Then she gits hot in the collar an' cries an' takes on, an' Jud, whowas a-hangin' aroun', has to walk her up to the Riffles; an' he must 'a'comforted her a heap, fer she comes back alone, singin,' 'Nearer, myGod, to Thee,' like a angel.
"The' was a big spill up to the Devil's Gate,--one o' them places backthere where the flume hangs onto the side o' the cliff, about half amile above the bottom o' the gulch,--an' Jud Brusie an' all hands has towork there three days an' nights ter git things straightened out. Judworked so derned hard, up all night an' hangin' on ter the ropes he waslet up an' down by till yeh'd think he was ready to drop, that thesoop'rintendent said he'd make Jud flume boss when he got back from NooYork, where he was a-goin' fer a few months. The soop'rintendent--that'sMr. Sneath--went over the hull flume with Jud a little while before helit out for the East, p'intin' things out ter him that he wanted didwhen he got back. I was down here flume-herdin' at Five when him an' Judcome along in a dude-lookin' flume-boat, rigged out in great style. Istopped 'em back there a ways with my picaroon, when they sung out, an'they walked down here on the side planks. Jest as they got near the campthe soop'rintendent he stopped like he'd struck a rotten plank an'stared at the house.
"'Who's that singin'?' says he.
"'Miss. Hemenway,' says Jud, proud-like.
"'She's got an awful sweet voice,' says the ol' man. 'It oughter betrained. She ought to go to a hot-house'--or something like that.'Conservatory?' Yes, that's it.
"'She's mighty anxious to l'arn,' says Jud. 'She wants a pianner awfulbad.'
"'Does she?' says the soop'rintendent. 'She oughter have one.'
"When he come along to the house he says to Jess, who stuck her headouter the door an' looked kinder skeer'd-like, says he, 'I wish yeh'dsing a few songs fer me.'
"Wal, yeh could see wal enough that Jess's knees was a-knockin'together, but she tunes up her mandy-linn, scratches at the strings witha little chip, an' gits started all right on 'Rock o' Ages,' an' gits togoin' along kinder quavery-like fer a while, an' then she busts rightinter, 'He'r dem Bells,' so strong an' high an' wild that it takes theol' man right out o' his boots.
"He claps his hands an' yells, 'Hooray! Give us another!'
"Then she saws along on, 'Gather at the River,' an' chops inter, 'AllCoons Looks Alike ter Me,' in a way to stop the mill.
"Her paw stan's aroun' all the while, tickled t' death an' smilin' allover.
"'Wal,' says the soop'rintendent, when Jess she stops ter git her wind,'yer all right, Miss. Hemenway. Yer as full o' music as a wind-harp in atornado.' Then he says to her paw on the Q. T., 'If yeh was ter let thatgal go ter the city an' l'arn some o' them high-toned op'ry songs, yehwouldn't have to be picaroonin' lumber strings much longer.'
"'Yes,' says Hemenway, bloated up like a gobbler an' lookin' at Jesswhere she stan's with her face red an' still a-puffin' for breath; 'an'she thinks she could l'arn right here if she only had a pianner.'
"'She'd oughter have one,' says Mr. Sneath. 'I wish----' he says, an'then he breaks off like a busted log-chain. 'But we couldn't git it downhere.'
'"What's that?' asts Hemenway.
"'We got a pianner up to our place, an' Mrs. Sneath won't be a-fingerin'on it fer five months. She's a-goin' East with me. If we could on
ly gitit down here an' back all right. If the' 's only a road from Skylanddown here or from Mill Flat up, but the' ain't, so the' 's no usetalkin'. Couldn't ship it down to the Flat an' up on mule-back, ornothin', either; so I guess it can't be did.'
"'Why not send it down the flume?' asts Jess, timid-like. I could seeshe was jest crazy about gittin' it.
"'Oh, the flume is old, an' it's rotten in places, an' such a heavy loadmight go through.'
"'Why, it holds up the grub-boat all right,' says Jess 'Oh, if I couldonly have that pianner down here! I can play a little already, an' I'dl'arn a lot. I'd practise eight hours a day.'
"'How about gittin' the meals?' asts Hemenway.
"'Wal, I'd set up, then, an' practise all night,' says she.
"'I'm afeard that 'u'd be pretty hard on yer paw,' says Mr. Sneath,smilin'. 'Wal, Jud, we got ter be goin'.'
"So they gits inter their dude boat, an' Jess she skips along after 'em,an' jest as they's about to ontie she yells out to the soop'rintendent:
"'Cain't I have it? Cain't I have it? Cain't yeh send it down the flume?Please say yeh will. I'll take the best kind o' keer of it. It sha'n'tgit a single scratch.'
"Mr. Sneath he looks at her a minute kinder tender-like, an' I knowedthem big eyes o' hern was a-doin' their work. Them big soft baby eyeswould 'a' drawed sap outer a dead log.
"'Wal,' says he, 'we'll see. If Mrs. Sneath's willin' I guess it'll beall right.'
"'Thank you, thank you, thank you!' she yells as the boat flies down theflume.
"I seed Jud blow a kiss to her, an' I knowed she was happy as a bird.She was a-singin' aroun' the shanty all day, an' at supper she donenothin' but talk, talk, talk about that there pianner.
"'Don't be so awful gay, Miss. Hemenway,' says I, for I was afeard shemight be disapp'inted. 'Yeh ain't got it yet. Yeh know, Mr. Sneath's a'awful busy man, an' he may fergit it.'
"'Oh, he won't fergit! Jud'll poke him up on it,' says she. 'An' I thinkI'll have it put right over there in that corner. No, that's on theflume side, an' it might draw dampness there. Over there by the winder'sthe place, an' plenty o' light, too. Wonder if they'll think to senddown a stool.'
"I had to skin up to Skyland nex' day. Jud says the soop'rintendent hasto light out quicker'n he'd thought, but he didn't fergit about thepianner. Mis' Sneath was as easy as greased skids, but Mr. Sneath hedidn't know exactly. He sends the pianner over to the warehouse there'longside the flume an' has the men slap together a stout boat to runher down in; but at the las' minute he backs out. He was a-lookin' atthe pianner standin' there in the warehouse, an' he says to Jud, sayshe:
"'That there pianner has be'n in our family ever sence we was married.Marthy allus sot a heap o' store by that pianner. It was my firstpresent to her, an' I know she thinks a hull lot of it, even if shedon't seem ter keer. Trouble is, she don't know what sendin' it down theflume means. Yeh see, it ain't like a long string o' lumber--weight'sall in one place, an' she might break through. This flume ain't what itwas thirteen years ago, yeh know.'
"Jud he argies with him, 'cos he knows Jess's heart'll be broke if shedon't git the pianner; an' after a while he thinks he's got it allfixed; but jest afore Sneath an' his wife takes the stage he telaphonesdown to the warehouse to let the pianner stay there till he comes back.Then he goes away, an' Jud is as down in the mouth as if he'd run hisfist ag'in' a band-saw. He mopes aroun' all day, an' he's afeard totell Jess; but as I was a-goin' back to Five that night, he tells me tobreak it to her gentle-like an' say he'd done his best. Which I did.Wal, that gal jest howls when I tells her, an' sobs an' sobs an' takeson like a baby coyote with the croup. But her dad he quiets her at last.
"Jud he hardly dasts to show up on Sunday, but when he does, she won'tlook at him fer quite a while. Then some o' that strawbary-blonde in hercomes out in some o' the dernedest scoldin' yeh ever heer'd.
"'It's too bad, Jessie,' says he, 'but it ain't my fault. I done mybest. He backed out at the las' minute; he backed out, an' I couldn't dono more than if a tree dropped on me. He backed out.'
"After a while he takes her off up the flume a piece, an' they staysthere a long time, but she don't seem satisfied much when she comesback. There is hell a-poppin' there for about three days over that therepianner, an' the ol' man he gits so sick of it he gives her warnin'he'll light out if she don't quit. Wal, she quiets down some after that,but she makes Jud as mis'able as a treed coon fer over a week. She keepsa-tryin' an' a-tryin' to git him to send the pianner down anyway. Shetells him she'll send it back afore the Sneaths gits home.
"'He told me I could have it; he promised me,' says she, 'he promisedme, an' I'll never marry you unless you send it down. You can do it;you're goin' to be boss, an' you know it will be all right. I'll seethat they ain't a scratch on it; an' you can put it in the warehouse,an' they'll never know it's be'n away.'
"An' so she keeps a-teasin' an' a-teasin', till finally Jud he gitsdesperate.
"'Oram,' says he to me one day, 'Oram, you're an ol' flume man. What doyou think o' runnin' that pianner down to Five?'
"I shakes my head. I likes the boy, an' I don't want ter see him takesech big chances o' gittin' inter trouble. Somebody might tell Sneath,an' then it might be all off about his bein' flume boss. Besides, nobodyhad never run no pianner down no flume before, an' yeh couldn't tellwhat might happen.
"'D' yeh think, honest, Oram,' says he, 'the ol' flume's likely ter giveway anywheres?'
"'No,' says I; 'she's strong as a railroad-track.'
"'Wal, then,' says he, 'I'm a-goin' to do it. You come down Sunday an'we'll take her out afore anybody's out o' the bunk-house.'
"I tries to argy him out of it, but he won't listen. So Sunday, aboutfive in the mornin', I goes up to Skyland, an' we slides the big boatinter the flume an' gits the pianner onto the rollers, an' 't ain't muchtrouble to load her all right; fer, yer know, them big boats has flattops like decks, an' things sets up on top of 'em. But while we wasa-doin' that an' the boat is hitched tight to a stanchion 'longside o'the flume, the water backs up behind so high that it looks as though thepianner is a-goin' ter git wet. This skeers Jud, an' he seems to losehis head someways.
"'Hustle up, Oram!' says he, very nervous-like. 'The boat's crowdin'down so it won't let any water past. Ontie that rope.'
"I takes a good notice o' the pianner, an' I don't like her looks,sittin' up there so high on that little deck.
"'We oughter tie her on good an' tight,' says I.
"She's a upright, yeh see, an' she's as top-heavy as a pile-driver. Iwas afeard she'd strike a low limb or somethin' an' git smashed. So Igoes to settle her a bit an' lay her down on her back an' tie her on;but he says he don't know about that layin'-down business, an' declaresshe'll ride all right. He speaks pretty sharp, too. So I gits a littlehuffy an' onties the rope, an' we starts.
"Wal, she don't go very fast at first, 'cos she's heavy an' they ain'tnone too much water in front; but after a while we comes to the Devil'sSlide,--you remember the place,--an' we scoots down there like themill-tails o' hell.
"'Gee-whiz!' says Jud. 'She's a-rockin' like a teeter. I hope she'llstay on all right.' He was settin' back with me, behind the pianner, an'we both tries to holt on to her an' keep her stiddy, but we cain't domuch more'n set down an' cuss haff the time, we're so afeard we'll gitthrowed out. Wal, after we come to the foot of the slide, we breatheseasy-like, an' Jud he says it's all right, for that there was the wustplace. For about three miles the pianner set on that boat as stiddy as achurch, an' from there on down to Four it was pretty good sailin'. Ofcourse we went a good deal faster in the steep places than any otherboat ever sent down the flume, because the heft o' the thing, when shegot started, was bound to make her fly, water or no water. In a goodmany places we run ahead o' the stream, an' then in the quiet spots thewater would catch up to us an' back up behind us an' shove us along.
"Between Four an' Five there's a place we used ter call Cape Horn. Theflume is bracketed onto a cliff, yeh know, fer about a mile, an' it's
askeery place any way yeh shoot it; yeh scoot aroun' them there sharpcurves so lively, an' yeh look down there four or five hundred feetinter the bottom o' the canon. That's where yeh shut yer eyes. Yehremember? Wal, when I sees Cape Horn ahead I gits a little skeer'd whenI thinks how she might rock. We run onto a place where I could look awayahead, an' there, wavin' her apron or somethin', is a gal, an' I knowsit's Jess, out from Five to see the pianner come down. Jud he knows,too, an' waves back.
"We runs out onto the brackets, turns a sharp curve, an' she begins towabble an' stagger like a drunken man, floppin' back an' forth, an' thestrings an' things inside is a-hummin' an' a-drummin'.
"'Slow her down!' yells Jud. 'Slow her down, or we'll never git past theHorn!'
"I claps on the brake, but she's so heavy she don't pay no 'tention toit, though I makes smoke 'long them planks, I tell yer. She scoots aheadfaster'n ever, an' bows to the scenery, this way an' that, like she wascrazy, an' a-hummin' harder than ever.
"'Slow her down! Ease her down!' hollers Jud, grittin' his teeth an'holdin' onto her with all his hundred an' eighty pounds weight. But 'tain't no good. I gits a holt oncet, but the water backs up behind us an'we goes a-scootin' down on a big wave that sloshes out o' the flume onboth sides an' sends us flyin' toward that Horn fer further orders.
"When we gits to the sharpest curve we knows we're there all right. Shewabbles on one side an' then on the other, so I can see chunks o' skyahead right under her. An' then, all of a sudden, she gives a whoopin'big jump right off the top o' the boat, an' over the side o' the flumeshe goes, her strings all a-singin' like mad, an' sailin' down fourhundred feet. Jud had a holt of her before she dropped, an' if I hadn't'a' grabbed him he'd 'a' gone over, too.
"You might not believe it, pardner, but we run a quarter of a mile downthat there flume before we hears her strike. Jeroosalem! What a crash! Iever heer'd one o' them big redwoods that made half so much noise whenshe dropped. How she did roar! An' I tell yeh what was strange aboutthat there noise: it seemed like all the music that everybody had everexpected to play on that pianner for the nex' hundred years comea-boomin' out all to oncet in one great big whoop-hurray that echered upan' down that canon fer half an hour.
"'We've lost somethin',' says I, cheerful-like, fer I thinks the' 's nouse cryin' over spilt pianners.
"But Jud he never says nothin',--jest sets there like he was froze plumbstiff an' couldn't stir a eyelid--sets there, starin' straight aheaddown the flume. Looks like his face is caught in the air and held thatway.
"Of course, now our load's gone, the brake works all right, an' I hooksa-holt onto the side about a hundred feet from where Jess stands like amarble statute, lookin' down inter the gulch.
"'Come on, Jud,' says I, layin' my hand onto his arm soft-like; 'we gitsout here.'
"He don't say nothin', but tries to shake me off. I gits him out atlast, an' we goes over to where poor Jess stands, stiff an' starin' downinter the gulch. When she hears our feet on the side planks, she startsup an' begins to beller like a week-old calf; an' that fetches Jud outerhis trance for a while, an' he puts his arm aroun' her an' he helps herback along the walk till we comes to a place where we gits down an' goesover to view the wreck.
"Great snakes, pardner, but it was a sight! The pianner had flew downan' lit onto a big, flat rock, an' the' wasn't a piece of her left asbig as that there plate. There was all kinds o' wires a-wrigglin' aroun'on the ground an' a-shinin' in the sun, an' the' was white keys an'black keys an' the greatest lot o' them little woolly things thatstrikes the strings all mixed up with little bits o' mahogany an' nutsan' bolts an' little scraps o' red flannel an' leather, an' pegs an'bits o' iron that didn't look as if it had ever been any part o' themachine. It was the dernedest mess! I picked up somethin' Jess said wasa pedal,--a little piece o' shiny iron about as long as that,--'n' thatwas the only thing that seemed to have any shape left to it. The litterdidn't make any pile at all--jest a lot o' siftin' sawdust-stuffscattered aroun' on the rocks.
"'She struck tol'able hard,' says I, lookin' at Jud. But he don't saynothin'; jest stan's over there on the side o' the rock an' looks as ifhe'd like to jump off another fifty feet the' was there.
"'Don't take it like that, Jud,' says Jess, grabbin' holt o' him an' notpayin' any 'tention to my bein' there. 'Cry, cuss, swear--anything, butdon't be so solemn-like. It's my fault, Juddie dear--all my fault. Canyeh ever, ever fergive me? Yeh said yeh didn't think it was safe, an' Ikep' a-goadin' yeh to it; an' now----' She broke out a-blubberin' an'a-bellerin' again, an' he puts his arm aroun' her an' smiles, an' sayssoft-like:
"'It don't matter much. I can raise the money an' buy a new one fer Mis'Sneath. How much do they cost?' says he.
"'Oh, I dunno! Five hundred dollars, I think. It's an awful lot o'money!'
"'Wal, I got three-fifty saved up,--you know what fer,--an' I can raisethe rest an' put a new pianner in the place o' that one,' says he.
"He looks at the wreck, an' fer the first time I sees his eyes is jest alittle damp.
"They didn't either of 'em seem to take any notice o' me, an' I didn'tfeel that I counted, nohow.
"'An' we cain't git married,' says Jud, sorrowful-like, 'fer ever solong. There'll be nothin' to house-keep on till I can save up somemore.'
"'Yes, we can, too,' says she. 'I don't keer if yeh ain't got so much asa piece o' bale-rope.'
"'But yer paw?'
"'I don't keer,' says she, very hard-like, a-stampin' her foot. 'He canlike it or lump it.'
"Wal, I sneaks away an' leaves 'em there, an' by an' by they comes up towhere I sets on top o' the boat, an' Jud isn't so plumb gloomy as Ithinks he'd be.
"Him an' her goes down ter Fresno nex' day an' buys one o' that sameidentical make o' pianners an' has it shipped up on the firstfreight-wagon to Skyland. An' they puts it inter the warehouse, an'there she stands till Mr. Sneath comes home with his wife.
"When Mis' Sneath she sees the pianner brung inter her house she don'tnotice any difference fer a while; but one day she sets down ter play,an' she pounds out a few music, an' then she gives a jump an' looks allover the machine an' she says, 'Good Lord!' An' Sneath he comes in, an'they has a great time over how the' 's be'n sech a change in thatpianner. She finally makes up her mind it's a bran'-new one, an' sendsfer Jud an' asts him what he knows about it. An' he cain't lie a littlebit, so he up an' tells her that her pianner is all inter sawdust an'scrap-iron down on the rocks, an' that this is a new one that he owes ahundred an' fifty dollars on down ter Fresno.
"Then she busts out a-laughin', an' says:
"'Why, that old tin-pan! I'm glad it flew the flume. It wasn't wuthtwenty dollars. I got a noo grand pianner on the way here that I orderedin Noo York. I'll make this here one a weddin' present to you an' Jess.'
"And the soop'rintendent he writes out his check an' sends it down toFresno to pay off the hundred an' fifty, an' when the weddin' it comesoff he gives 'em a set o' chiny dishes besides.
"Jud's flume boss now, an' Jess she plays that pianner an' sings like abird. When we gits down ter Mill Flat I'll show yeh their house. It's awhite one up on the side o' the hill, jest across the gulch from themill.
"Wal, yeh had all the grub yeh want, pardner? Say, ain't them greengages sour? They sets yer teeth on aidge all right. An' I couldn't findthe boys' sugar-can. If yer full up, I guess we'd better git inter theboat."
I took my seat behind Oram and a particularly offensive pipe he hadjust lighted. Looking down the long, swift-running, threatening flume, Ishuddered; for since Oram's recital the native hue of my resolution hadbeen "sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought." I remarked that ifhe saw any of those Cape Horn curves ahead to let me know and I wouldget out and walk.
"Don't yeh be skeer'd by what I told yeh," said he. "Yeh got a prettyfair-sized head, but yeh ain't quite so top-heavy as Mis' Sneath's bigupright. An', besides, the' ain't no more Cape Horn on this flume; theycalls that place Pianner P'int now."