Chapter 19
The night was peaceful and calm. Willy woke once in the early hours in pain from her stiff and aching arms and shoulders. She got up quietly and and took some aspirin. While waiting for the medicine to work, she lay in her bed trying to find a comfortable position and listening to the night sounds. She missed the hooting of owls and the wind whispering through the trees that they had enjoyed at the Cottonwood campground. Her heart warmed as she thought back over yesterday. Her favorite memory was the unexpected comfort of having an arm to rest her head on when they had napped after lunch. And then she saw again those love-filled eyes looking at her as she woke from her nap.
Willy turned into a more comfortable position and thought with both relief and regret that this would be their last day here. She was anxious to return to her home and get on with the business of everyday life. She looked forward to a short visit with her parents. She wanted to start writing her article and see how her pictures would turn out. She looked forward to the excitement of sending her first child off to school.
Willy reflected, though, that one more grief would be added to her already heavy heart. It would be like losing a loved one again to go away from the stimulation and contentment that she felt in the company of Max Bell. She would maintain her act of keeping him at a distance until the bitter end, but deep inside, if she had her heart's desire, she knew it would be to open her arms and heart to him. She wanted to feel his arms around her, taste the warmth of his breath and hear the beat of his heart. She wanted to watch the play of emotions in his eyes and smell the scent of his skin.
"I'd better get my mind off this subject," she decided. Tossing in her bed, trying to find a restful position, Willy repeated the words to a hymn in her mind and was able at length to get back to sleep.
Aggie woke her up early. "Come on, let's not be late to church. There are so many people I want to see. Kelly asked if we could go to her house this afternoon because she has something to give me. Wake up, Willy."
Stretching carefully to avoid too much pain, Willy flexed her stiff muscles. "I could just stay in bed all day," she complained. "Why did I have to paddle so far and get this stiff?" She dragged herself out of bed and went off for a hot shower.
Aggie had already finished hers and was starting to get out cereal bowls for breakfast. Allison and Jeffy were enthused about starting a new day and woke up with cheerful smiles. They ate then got showered and dressed. There was much talk about all they had to do because this was their last day and they had to squeeze everything into it.
The church services were uplifting. Aggie got acquainted with even more new friends and it was hard to get her to leave the building. She spotted one of their tire-changing heroes from the cheese factory excursion and did all she could to get his attention without actually talking to him. When he finally did notice her and came over to say hello, she nearly lost her composure and dissolved in giggles. On the way to the truck, she sighed deeply and confided to Willy that she thought she was in love.
"Did you get his address, too, Aggie?" Willy wanted to know.
"No, but at least I know his name. Lynette, the girl with the red dress, will give me his address. She is going to write to me tomorrow so I'll have a letter waiting when I get home."
"I'm glad you met so many friends. Allison, did you find some new friends, too?"
"Yes, but I can't remember their names. Except one. Her name is Emily but I don't know her other name. I needed to have you write it down but you made me leave too soon." Allison dissolved in the tears that are always on the brink of falling for a five year old.
"Does Emily have curly hair and a yellow dress?" Aggie asked.
"Yes," sobbed Allison.
"Then she is Lynette's sister. I heard her call to her and tell her they were ready to go. So I have their address and I can help you write a letter!"
Allison hopped up and down and clapped her hands, giving her young aunt a big hug. "Thank you!" she breathed.
Jeffy was just glad to be leaving. He hated button shirts and long pants and wanted to get back into his comfortable tee shirt and shorts.
After lunch, they walked to a nearby market to buy what food they needed for the trip. They did some laundry and cleaned the camper. Willy called her parents to inform them of their plans.
When they had completed all their preparations, they drove to Kelly's house so Aggie could make her farewell visit. They were welcomed inside and invited to sit down. Jeffy kept whispering to his mother but she couldn't understand his words. He was finally induced to talk out loud and what he was asking for was another horsie ride.
"Oh, I'm sorry," said Jean, Kelly's mother. "Lloyd took some people on an overnight trail ride and the horses are gone. The only one left over there is Max's big Smoky and I don't think we could even catch him. They put him out in the pasture again. Have you heard how he likes to jump fences?"
Jeffy was disappointed but soon remembered the chickens and kittens so the women took him and Allison across the road to the barns. They had a pleasant visit while the kids played with the kittens. Jeffy even was careful with the eggs and gathered them without breaking any.
They left without seeing Mr. or Mrs. Bell who had gone visiting some relatives for the day. On the way back to the campground, Allison reminded them that Max had said he would come to see them before they left. "I wish I had something to give him," she said. "He has been so nice to me."
"He looks like someone who would like raisin-filled cookies," said Willy. "We could make a few in our little oven to give to him." This necessitated another quick trip to the market for raisins and nuts and the rest of the afternoon was spent merrily mixing and baking.
While the cookies cooled, Allison found some paper and crayons and she and Jeffy drew pictures of their family to give to Max so he wouldn't forget them. They were busily engaged in this activity when he came and didn't even notice him standing outside the open door of the camper until he shouted "Boo!" at them.
Startled, they jumped squealing into his arms then ran to show him their artwork. He was touched and put the pictures on the seat of his truck right then so they wouldn't get wrinkled. "I'll hang these up on my wall so I can think of you every day," he told them. "I have a present for you, too."
He reached in the back of the pickup and brought out a box. From inside could be heard a mewing sound. Allison and Jeffy couldn't contain themselves. "Are they kittens?" Allison asked in a reverent voice.
"One for each of you," Max answered, opening the box to reveal the sweet faces of two lively kittens. They were older than the ones in his barn and he had thoughtfully brought some kitty litter and kitten food and even little bowls for their water and food. "Do you know how to take care of kittens?" he asked. He gave them a lesson in kitten holding, kitten feeding, the proper way to clean litter and then asked what their names were going to be.
Willy watched the proceedings with an indulgent expression. She suggested some good kitty names and then helped them decide where the box would be kept in the camper. They went through the whole routine of feeding, watering and petting the kittens until Max told them they had had enough to eat and maybe they needed a nap.
Max had brought Kelly with him. She hadn't wanted to miss an opportunity to see her new friend again. She and Aggie had their heads together talking about their fascinating interests. Max pulled Willy aside and asked if she would take a walk with him.
Distrusting her feelings, Willy was ready to refuse, but Aggie had heard the request and volunteered, "Kelly and I will watch the kids. Why don't you go ahead? We'll be okay here."
Setting off down the street, Willy kept a substantial space between her and Max. She knew that if they were to brush against one another, it might set him off on one of his monologues about his feelings for her. She needed to avoid any of that tonight. Her spirits were already about to shatter with the stress of keeping up an image of indifference.
Max respected her feelings
, knowing that she was struggling to keep him at arm's length. He talked about inconsequential things, commenting on the weather, the length of her trip, the number of people in town. They walked the length of Main Street then turned to circle the block. Soon the swings and playground equipment of the city park came in sight. Max headed for a swing and sat down. He pushed himself back and started swinging.
Willy laughed and asked if he was sure the chains were strong enough to take the strain of his weight. "I'll bet I can get higher than you can," he challenged her.
She accepted the contest. They played on the swings in the darkness like a couple of kids. Their laughter rang out and Willy's low spirits left her as she exerted herself. Finally, she stopped her swing and sat, rubbing her stiff arms. "That's all I can stand," she said. "I am really stiff today."
"I can see we need to get this young lady into an exercise program. Too much time is spent with her nose to the grindstone," Max declared. He moved behind her and began a gentle massage of her neck and shoulders. She didn't object. She really was in a lot of discomfort and the massage felt good.
"Can I ask you what your plans are when you get back home? I don't want to upset you again, but I really care what happens to you and I can't let you go unless I know that you'll be all right. It may be none of my business, but I want to be sure that you're not going to starve if your article doesn't sell. Can you at least let me part way inside your citadel and tell me how you are?"
"We're just fine," she told him curtly. "You're right when you say it is none of your business."
"All right, let me rephrase it," he persevered. "You are like a sister to me and I am concerned for the welfare of you and your children. Come, on, Willy, talk to me."
"We have enough to get by. My house is paid for, I still have some savings from the life insurance settlement and I am a good manager. I have parents who will help if I need it. We really are just fine. Now get off the subject!"
"Will you listen for one minute more?" he implored. "Now don't interrupt! I just want to tell you that I will always be here. If there is ever anything you need or if you have any reason to call me, I've written my number and address down for you," he said, taking a card from his pocket and pressing it into her hand. "Will you give me your phone number and address so I can call sometimes and check on you? I really want to keep in touch."
"There is no need for your help," Willy told him coldly, standing and shaking off his hands. "If we need anything I have parents and friends who will be there for me. We don't need anything from you. There is no point in keeping in touch."
"The kids might miss me. At least let me send them a Christmas card or a birthday gift. Please don't shut them away from me. They would feel bad if they thought I didn't remember them." He knew he was grasping at straws in his desperation, but he couldn't face losing all contact with this woman. "How will I know how the kittens are doing?"
Willy was torn. She knew Allison and Jeffy had grown unusually fond of Max and they would love to have someone to write to and get letters from. Maybe there would be no harm in letting him keep up a correspondence with them. She admitted to herself that she would enjoy hearing from him also.
"All right," she relented. "You can write once in a while, but only rarely, and no phone calls. I want them to think of you only as a very distant summer friend. It is too hard to let children get attached to someone and then have to drag them away. They will forget you before long."
"Please don't say that!" Max pleaded. "I've got to tell you what this is doing to me! I feel like my heart has been yanked out of my chest. If you just stomp on it I don't think I can stand it. At least leave me with a little bit of hope that you'll remember me." He had taken her shoulders in his hands and turned her towards him. His eyes burned into her face, trying to photograph her features and emblazon them on his memory.
"Willy, give me one favor. Let me take you in my arms just once more. Leave me with that last thing to hold on to. Please?"
His voice was so tender, his hands so gentle on her that she moved toward him almost in a trance, her eyes on his face. He closed his eyes in ecstacy as he crushed her to him. His head bent and his face nestled in the sweet curve of her neck. She felt her own arms surround him. He didn't try to kiss her. They just stood there in close embrace until their breathing returned to normal and their hearts beat together.
Willy was the first to raise her head. "Even my husband didn't show so much feeling," she whispered. "Are you all right? Do you always get this carried away?"
"I've never been this carried away before. I didn't know I could have these kinds of feelings. I want to...."
Willy smothered his words of endearment with a quick kiss on his lips. "Now don't get started," she said, forcing her voice to take on a practical inflection. She pushed herself from his grasp and said, "Go home and take a cold shower and you'll be fine in no time."
She knew she was the stronger of the two right now and that she needed to get control of the situation. This was no time to break down. The feelings they had were temporary and volatile. They would soon be submerged by the return to normal routines and surroundings. Emotions that erupted so quickly would be just as quickly extinguished. At least she hoped they would.
Willy turned and walked to the sidewalk. She steeled herself with a deep breath. "Come on," she called to the tall form in the shadows. "Move it, cowboy! Let's get back to the kids."