I listened so intently that a fierce headache knocked inside my skull: her even, relaxed breathing, the beating of her heart, and a far-off rhythmic vibration that at first sounded like the rasp of a file but soon took on a more fixed character. A hum of alternating speeds, a low splash, the occasional horn, tires on pavement, and I realized we were listening to distant traffic.
“Neat,” I told her. “Cars.”
“Pay attention. What do you hear?”
My head was splitting, but I focused. “Lots of cars?” I guessed.
“Right.” She grinned. “Lots and lots of cars. Traffic in the morning.”
I still didn’t get it.
“People going to work. In the city. Schoolbuses and kids. Lots of cars in the morning. That means it’s a workday, not a Sunday. Sundays are quiet and not so many cars speeding by.”
She held her bare finger to the air and then tasted it in her mouth for an instant. “I think it’s a Monday,” she said.
“I’ve seen that trick before. How can you tell?”
“All those cars make smoke, and the factories make smoke. But there aren’t so many cars on the road and the factories are closed on Sundays. You hardly taste any smoke at all. Monday, a bit more. By Friday night, the air tastes like a mouthful of coal.” She licked her finger again. “Definitely a Monday. Now, let me see your letter.”
I handed over the valentine and envelope, which she inspected, pointing to the postmark over the stamp. “Do you remember what day is Valentine’s Day?”
“February fourteenth.” I felt proud, as if I had given the correct answer in math class. An image flashed of a woman, dressed in black and white, writing numbers on a chalkboard.
“That’s right, and you see this?” She pointed to the date on the postmark, which ran in a semicircle: MON FEB 13 ’50 AM. “That’s when your Shakespeare put it in the mailbox. On a Mon. That means Monday morning is when they stamped it.”
“So, today is Valentine’s Day? Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“No, Aniday. You have to learn to read the signs and figure it out. Deduction. How could today be Valentine’s Day if today is a Monday? How can we find a letter the day before it is lost? If I found the letter yesterday, and today is Monday, how could today be Valentine’s Day?”
I was confused and tired. My head ached.
“February thirteenth was last Monday. If this card had been out for more than a week, it would be ruined by now. I found it yesterday and brought it to you. Yesterday was a quiet day—not many cars—a Sunday. Today must be the next Monday.”
She made me question my ability to reason at all.
“It’s simple. Today is Monday, February 20, 1950. You do need a calendar.” She held out her hand for my pencil, which I gladly ceded her. On the back of the card, she drew seven boxes in a row and labeled S-M-T-W-T-F-S for the days of the week. Then she printed all the months of the year in a column on the side, and then on the opposite side, the numerals from 1 to 31. As she drew them, she quizzed me on the proper number of days in each month, singing a familiar song to help me remember, but we forgot about leap years, which would throw me off in time. From her pocket, she took three round metal circles to demonstrate that if I wanted to keep track of time, all I would have to do would be to move the disks to the next space on the calendar each morning, remembering to start over at the end of the week and month.
Speck would often show me what proved to be the obvious answer, for which nobody else had the clarity of imagination and creativity. At such moments of insight, her eyes fixed on me, the tremor in her voice disappeared. A single hair escaped now, bisecting her face. She gathered her mane with her two rough red hands and pushed it behind her ears, smiling all the while at my stare. “If you ever forget, Aniday, come find me.” She walked away, moving through the forest, across the ridge and away from camp, leaving me alone with my calendar. I spied her figure progressing among the trees until she blended into the natural world. When she vanished, all I could think of was the date: February 20, 1950. I had lost so much time.
Far below, the others in camp slumbered beneath a mat of stinking blankets and furs. By listening to the traffic and following the noise to its source, I could be back among the people, and one of those cars was bound to stop and take me home. The driver would see a boy standing by the side of the road and pull off on the berm ahead of me. I would wait for her, the woman in the red coat, to come save me. I would not run away, but wait there and try not to frighten her as before. She would lower herself to eye level, sweeping her hair back from her face. “Who are you?” I would summon up the faces of my parents and my little sister, tell the woman with the pale green eyes where I lived, how to get home. She would bid me climb into her car. Sitting beside her, I’d tell her my tale, and she would put her hand around the back of my head, saying everything would be all right. I’d jump from that car as we stopped before my house, my mother hanging laundry on the clothesline, my sister waddling toward me in her yellow dress, her arms aflutter. “I’ve found your boy,” the woman would say, and my father would pull up in a red fire engine. “We’ve been looking all over for you for a long time.” Later, after fried chicken and biscuits, we’d come back to the woods and rescue my friends Smaolach, Luchóg, and Speck, who could live with us and go to school and come home warm, safe, and sound. All I had to do was to concentrate and follow the sounds of civilization. I looked to the horizon as far as possible, but saw no sign. I listened, but heard nothing. I tried to remember, but could not recall my name.
Pocketing my three tokens, I turned over the calendar and read the Shakespeare aloud to myself: “But if the while I think on thee, dear friend . . .” The people sleeping down below in the hollow were my friends. I took out my pencil and began to write all I could remember. Many a year has passed between then and now, and I have written this story more than once, but that was the beginning, alone atop the ridge. My fingers stiffened in the cold. As I walked down to the camp, the bedcovers called out to me with the promise of warm dreams.
Not long after Speck’s valentine, another gift landed in my lap. Luchóg brought it back from one of his pirating expeditions, unpacking his sack like Santa at the Christmas tree. “And this, little treasure, is for you. The sum-all and be-all of your earthly desires. Enough space here for your every dream. Miracle of miracles, and dry, too. Paper.”
He handed me a bound black notebook, the kind schoolchildren use for their lessons, the pages lined to ensure the proper placement of words and sentences. On the front was the name of the school and the title RULED COMPOSITION BOOK. On the back was a small box with this printed warning: In the event of atomic attack: close the shades, lie down under your desk. Do not panic. Inside, the author of the book, Thomas McInnes, had written his name on the flyleaf. The weathered pages were filled with his virtually indecipherable penmanship, the ink a rusty brown. As far as I could tell, it was a story, or part of a story, because on the last page, the writing ends mid-sentence with the rather cryptic See Other Book written on the inside back cover. Over the years, I tried to read it, but the point of the story eluded me. The beauty of the composition book for me stemmed from McInnes’s self-indulgence. He had written on only one side of the eighty-eight sheets of paper. I turned the book upside-down and wrote my contrary story in the opposite direction. While that journal is in ashes now with so much else, I can attest to its basic contents: a naturalist’s journal recording my observations of life in the forest, complete with drawings of found objects—a diary of the best years of my life.
My chronicle and calendar helped me track the passing time, which fell into an easy rhythm. I kept up hope for years, but no one ever came for me. Heartbreak ran like an undercurrent of time, but despair would come and go like the shadow of clouds. Those years were mixed with the happiness brought by my friends and companions, and as I aged inside, a casual nothing drowned the boy.
The snows stopped by mid-March most years, and a few weeks later the ice would melt,
green life would bud, insects hatch, birds return, fish and frogs ready for the catching. Spring instantly restored our energies, the lengthening light corresponding to our interest in exploration. We would throw off our hides and ruined blankets, shed our jackets and shoes. The first warm day in May, nine of us would go down to the river and bathe our stinking bodies, drown the vermin living in our hair, scrape off the caked dirt and scum. Once, Blomma had stolen a bar of soap from a gas station, and we scrubbed it away to a splinter in a single renewing bath. Pale bodies on a pebbly shore, rubbed pink and clean.
The dandelions blossomed from nowhere, and the spring onions sprouted in the meadows, and our Onions would gorge herself, eating the bulbs and grass, staining her teeth and mouth green, reeking, indolent, until her skin itself smelled pungent and bittersweet. Luchóg and Smaolach distilled the dandelions into a potent brew. My calendar helped track the parade of berries: strawberries in June, followed by wild blueberries, gooseberries, elderberries, and more. In a patch of forest over the ridge, Speck and I found a red army of raspberries invading a hillside, and we spent many a July day gathering sweetness among the thorns. Blackberries ripened last, and I am sad every time to see the first potful at our evening repasts, for those black jewels are a harbinger of summer’s end.
The insect-eaters among us rejoiced at the abundance of the warm season, although bugs are a decidedly acquired taste. Each of the faeries had their own peculiar pleasures and preferred capturing techniques. Ragno ate only flies, which he plucked from spiderwebs. Béka was a gourmand, taking anything that crawled, flew, slithered, or wriggled his way. He would search out a colony of termites in a rotting log, a party of slugs in the mire, or a maggoty carcass, and dig in and eat those disgusting creatures raw. Sitting patiently by a small fire, he snatched moths out of the air with his tongue when they flew too close to his face. Chavisory was another notorious bug-eater, but at least she cooked them. I could tolerate the grubs and queens she baked on a heated rock until they popped, as brown and crispy as bacon. Cricket legs tend to stick in your teeth, and ants, if not roasted first, will bite your tongue and throat on the way down.
I had never killed a living thing before coming to the woods, but we were hunter-gatherers, and without an occasional bit of protein in the diet, all of us would suffer. We took squirrels, moles, mice, fish, and birds, although the eggs themselves were too great a hassle to steal from the nest. Anything bigger—such as a dead deer—we’d scavenge. I do not care for things that have been dead a long time. In late summer and early fall, in particular, the tribe would dine together on an unfortunate creature roasted on a spit. Nothing beats a rabbit under a starry night. But, as Speck would say, every idyll succumbs to desire.
Such a moment in my fourth year in the woods stands above all the rest. Speck and I had strayed from camp, and she showed me the way to the grove where honeybees had hidden their hive. We stopped at an old gray dogwood.
“Climb up there, Aniday, and reach inside, and you’ll find the sweetest nectar.”
As commanded, I shinnied up the trunk, despite the buzzing of the bees, and inched toward the hollow. From my purchase in the branches, I could see her upturned face, eyes aglow with expectation.
“Go on,” she hollered from below. “Be careful. Don’t make them mad.”
The first sting startled me like a pinprick, the second and third caused pain, but I was determined. I could smell the honey before I felt it and could feel it before I saw it. Hands and wrists swollen with venom, my face and bare skin welted red, I fell from the limb to the forest floor with handfuls of honeycombs. She looked down at me with dismay and gratitude. We ran from the angry swarm and lost them on a hillside slanted toward the sun. Lying in the long new grass, we sucked every drop of honey and ate the waxy combs until our lips and chins and hands gummed up. Drunk on the stuff, the nectar heavy in our stomachs, we luxuriated in the sweet ache. When we had licked clean the honey, she began to pull the remaining stingers from my face and hands, smiling at my every wince. When she removed the last dagger from my hand, Speck turned it over and kissed my palm.
“You are such an idiot, Aniday.” But her eyes betrayed her words, and her smile flashed as briefly as lightning rending the summer sky.
• CHAPTER 9 •
Listen to this.” My friend Oscar put a record on the turntable and set down the needle with care. The 45 popped and hissed; then the melody line rose, followed by the four-part doo-wop, “Earth Angel” by The Penguins or “Gee” by The Crows, and he’d sit back on the edge of the bed, close his eyes, and pull apart those different harmonies, first singing tenor and so on through the bass. Or he’d put on a new jazz riff by Miles or maybe Dave Brubeck and pick out the counterpoint, cocking his ear to the nearly inaudible piano underneath the horns. All through high school we’d spend hours in his room, idly listening to his vast eclectic record collection, analyzing and arguing over the more subtle points of the compositions. Oscar Love’s passion for music put my ambitions to shame. In high school, he was nicknamed “The White Negro,” as he was so alien from the rest of the crowd, so cool, so in his head all the time. Oscar was such an outsider, he made me feel normal by comparison. And even though he was a year ahead of me, he welcomed me into his life. My father thought Oscar wilder than Brando, but my mother saw beneath the facade and loved him like a son. He was the first person I approached about forming a band.
Oscar stuck with me from its beginning as The Henry Day Five through every version: The Henry Day Four, The Four Horsemen, Henry and the Daylights, The Daydreamers, and lastly, simply Henry Day. Unfortunately, we could not keep the same group together for more than a few months at a time: Our first drummer dropped out of high school and enlisted in the Marine Corps; our best guitarist moved away when his father was transferred to Davenport, Iowa. Most of the guys quit because they couldn’t cut it as musicians. Only Oscar and his clarinet persisted. We stayed together for two reasons: one, he could play a mean lick on any horn, particularly his beloved stick; two, he was old enough to drive and had his own car—a pristine ’54 red and white Bel Air. We played everything from high school dances to weddings and the occasional night at a club. Discriminating by ear and not by any preconceived notion of cool, we could play any kind of music for any crowd.
After a jazz performance where we particularly killed the crowd, Oscar drove us home, radio blaring, the boys in a great mood. He dropped off the others, and late that summer night we parked in front of my parents’ house. Moths danced crazily in the headlights, and the rhythmic cricket song underscored the silence. The stars and a half-moon dotted the languid sky. We got out and sat on the hood of the Bel Air, looking out into the darkness, not wanting the night to end.
“Man, we were gas,” he said. “We slayed them. Did you see that guy when we did ‘Hey Now,’ like he never heard a sound like that before?”
“I’m ’bout worn-out, man.”
“Oh, you were so cool, so cool.”
“You’re not bad yourself.” I hitched myself farther up on the car to stop skidding off the hood. My feet did not quite reach the ground, so I swung them in time to a tune in my head. Oscar removed the cigarette he had stashed behind his ear, and with a snap from his lighter he lit it, and into the night sky he blew smoke rings, each one breaking its predecessor.
“Where’d you learn to play, Day? I mean, you’re still a kid. Only fifteen, right?”
“Practice, man, practice.”
He quit looking at the stars and turned to face me. “You can practice all you want. Practice don’t give you soul.”
“I’ve been taking lessons for the past few years. In the city. With a guy named Martin who used to play with the Phil. The classics and all. It makes it easier to understand the music beneath it all.”
“I can dig that.” He handed me the cigarette, and I took a deep drag, knowing he had laced it with marijuana.
“But sometimes I feel like I’m being torn in two. My mom and dad want me to keep going to le
ssons with Mr. Martin. You know, the symphony or a soloist.”
“Like Liberace.” Oscar giggled.
“Shut up.”
“Fairy.”
“Shut up.” I punched him on the shoulder.
“Easy, man.” He rubbed his arm. “You could do it, though, whatever you want. I’m good, but you’re out of this world. Like you’ve been at it all your life or you were born that way.”
Maybe the dope made me say it, or maybe it was the combination of the summer night, the post-performance high, or the fact that Oscar was my first true friend. Or maybe I was dying to tell someone, anyone.
“I’ve got a confession, Oscar. I’m not Henry Day at all, but a hobgoblin that lived in the woods for a long, long time.”
He giggled so hard, a stream of smoke poured out of his nostrils.
“Seriously, man, we stole the real Henry Day, kidnapped him, and I changed into him. We switched places, but nobody knows. I’m living his life, and I guess he’s living mine. And once upon a time, I was somebody else, before I became a changeling. I was a boy in Germany or somewhere where they spoke German. I don’t remember, but it comes back to me in bits and pieces. And I played piano there a long time ago, until the changelings came and stole me. And now I’m back among the humans, and I hardly remember anything about the past, but it’s like I’m part Henry Day and part who I used to be. And I must have been one cool musician way back when, because that’s the only explanation.”
“That’s pretty good, man. So where’s the real Henry?”
“Out in the woods somewhere. Or dead maybe. He could be dead; it happens sometimes. But probably hiding out in the woods.”
“Like he could be watchin’ us right now?” He jumped off the car and whispered into the darkness. “Henry? Is that you?”
“Shut up, man. It’s possible. But they’re afraid of people, that much I know.”
“The whosits?”
“The changelings. That’s why you never see them.”