CHAPTER 13. THE ROBBER AND THE BURGLAR
A day or two after Noel came back from Hastings there was snow; it wasjolly. And we cleared it off the path. A man to do it is sixpence atleast, and you should always save when you can. A penny saved is a pennyearned. And then we thought it would be nice to clear it off the top ofthe portico, where it lies so thick, and the edges as if they had beencut with a knife. And just as we had got out of the landing-window onto the portico, the Water Rates came up the path with his book that hetears the thing out of that says how much you have got to pay, and thelittle ink-bottle hung on to his buttonhole in case you should pay him.Father says the Water Rates is a sensible man, and knows it is alwayswell to be prepared for whatever happens, however unlikely. Alice saidafterwards that she rather liked the Water Rates, really, and Noel saidhe had a face like a good vizier, or the man who rewards the honest boyfor restoring the purse, but we did not think about these things atthe time, and as the Water Rates came up the steps, we shovelled downa great square slab of snow like an avalanche--and it fell right onhis head. Two of us thought of it at the same moment, so it was quite alarge avalanche. And when the Water Rates had shaken himself he rang thebell. It was Saturday, and Father was at home. We know now that it isvery wrong and ungentlemanly to shovel snow off porticoes on to theWater Rates, or any other person, and we hope he did not catch a cold,and we are very sorry. We apologized to the Water Rates when Father toldus to. We were all sent to bed for it.
We all deserved the punishment, because the others would have shovelleddown snow just as we did if they'd thought of it--only they are notso quick at thinking of things as we are. And even quite wrong thingssometimes lead to adventures; as every one knows who has ever read aboutpirates or highwaymen.
Eliza hates us to be sent to bed early, because it means her having tobring meals up, and it means lighting the fire in Noel's room ever somuch earlier than usual. He had to have a fire because he still had abit of a cold. But this particular day we got Eliza into a good temperby giving her a horrid brooch with pretending amethysts in it, that anaunt once gave to Alice, so Eliza brought up an extra scuttle of coals,and when the greengrocer came with the potatoes (he is always late onSaturdays) she got some chestnuts from him. So that when we heard Fathergo out after his dinner, there was a jolly fire in Noel's room, andwe were able to go in and be Red Indians in blankets most comfortably.Eliza had gone out; she says she gets things cheaper on Saturdaynights. She has a great friend, who sells fish at a shop, and he isvery generous, and lets her have herrings for less than half the naturalprice.
So we were all alone in the house; Pincher was out with Eliza, and wetalked about robbers. And Dora thought it would be a dreadful trade, butDicky said--
'I think it would be very interesting. And you would only rob richpeople, and be very generous to the poor and needy, like Claude Duval.'Dora said, 'It is wrong to be a robber.'
'Yes,' said Alice, 'you would never know a happy hour. Think of tryingto sleep with the stolen jewels under your bed, and remembering all thequantities of policemen and detectives that there are in the world!'
'There are ways of being robbers that are not wrong,' said Noel; 'if youcan rob a robber it is a right act.'
'But you can't,' said Dora; 'he is too clever, and besides, it's wronganyway.'
'Yes you can, and it isn't; and murdering him with boiling oil is aright act, too, so there!' said Noel. 'What about Ali Baba? Now then!'And we felt it was a score for Noel.
'What would you do if there _was_ a robber?' said Alice.
H. O. said he would kill him with boiling oil; but Alice explained thatshe meant a real robber--now--this minute--in the house.
Oswald and Dicky did not say; but Noel said he thought it would only befair to ask the robber quite politely and quietly to go away, and thenif he didn't you could deal with him.
Now what I am going to tell you is a very strange and wonderful thing,and I hope you will be able to believe it. I should not, if a boy toldme, unless I knew him to be a man of honour, and perhaps not then unlesshe gave his sacred word. But it is true, all the same, and it only showsthat the days of romance and daring deeds are not yet at an end.
Alice was just asking Noel _how_ he would deal with the robber whowouldn't go if he was asked politely and quietly, when we heard a noisedownstairs--quite a plain noise, not the kind of noise you fancy youhear. It was like somebody moving a chair. We held our breath andlistened and then came another noise, like some one poking a fire.Now, you remember there was no one _to_ poke a fire or move a chairdownstairs, because Eliza and Father were both out. They could not havecome in without our hearing them, because the front door is as hard toshut as the back one, and whichever you go in by you have to give a slamthat you can hear all down the street.
H. O. and Alice and Dora caught hold of each other's blankets and lookedat Dicky and Oswald, and every one was quite pale. And Noel whispered--
'It's ghosts, I know it is'--and then we listened again, but there wasno more noise. Presently Dora said in a whisper--
'Whatever shall we do? Oh, whatever shall we do--what _shall_ we do?'And she kept on saying it till we had to tell her to shut up.
O reader, have you ever been playing Red Indians in blankets round abedroom fire in a house where you thought there was no one but you--andthen suddenly heard a noise like a chair, and a fire being poked,downstairs? Unless you have you will not be able to imagine at all whatit feels like. It was not like in books; our hair did not stand on endat all, and we never said 'Hist!' once, but our feet got very cold,though we were in blankets by the fire, and the insides of Oswald'shands got warm and wet, and his nose was cold like a dog's, and his earswere burning hot.
The girls said afterwards that they shivered with terror, and theirteeth chattered, but we did not see or hear this at the time.
'Shall we open the window and call police?' said Dora; and then Oswaldsuddenly thought of something, and he breathed more freely and he said--
'I _know_ it's not ghosts, and I don't believe it's robbers. I expectit's a stray cat got in when the coals came this morning, and she'sbeen hiding in the cellar, and now she's moving about. Let's go down andsee.'
The girls wouldn't, of course; but I could see that they breathed morefreely too. But Dicky said, 'All right; I will if you will.'
H. O. said, 'Do you think it's _really_ a cat?' So we said he had betterstay with the girls. And of course after that we had to let him andAlice both come. Dora said if we took Noel down with his cold, she wouldscream 'Fire!' and 'Murder!' and she didn't mind if the whole streetheard.
So Noel agreed to be getting his clothes on, and the rest of us said wewould go down and look for the cat.
Now Oswald _said_ that about the cat, and it made it easier to go down,but in his inside he did not feel at all sure that it might not berobbers after all. Of course, we had often talked about robbers before,but it is very different when you sit in a room and listen and listenand listen; and Oswald felt somehow that it would be easier to go downand see what it was, than to wait, and listen, and wait, and wait, andlisten, and wait, and then perhaps to hear _it_, whatever it was, comecreeping slowly up the stairs as softly as _it_ could with _its_ bootsoff, and the stairs creaking, towards the room where we were with thedoor open in case of Eliza coming back suddenly, and all dark on thelandings. And then it would have been just as bad, and it would havelasted longer, and you would have known you were a coward besides. Dickysays he felt all these same things. Many people would say we were youngheroes to go down as we did; so I have tried to explain, because noyoung hero wishes to have more credit than he deserves.
The landing gas was turned down low--just a blue bead--and we four wentout very softly, wrapped in our blankets, and we stood on the top of thestairs a good long time before we began to go down. And we listened andlistened till our ears buzzed.
And Oswald whispered to Dicky, and Dicky went into our room and fetchedthe large toy pistol that is a foot long, and that has
the triggerbroken, and I took it because I am the eldest; and I don't think eitherof us thought it was the cat now. But Alice and H. O. did. Dicky got thepoker out of Noel's room, and told Dora it was to settle the cat withwhen we caught her.
Then Oswald whispered, 'Let's play at burglars; Dicky and I are armedto the teeth, we will go first. You keep a flight behind us, and bea reinforcement if we are attacked. Or you can retreat and defend thewomen and children in the fortress, if you'd rather.'
But they said they would be a reinforcement.
Oswald's teeth chattered a little when he spoke. It was not withanything else except cold.
So Dicky and Oswald crept down, and when we got to the bottom of thestairs, we saw Father's study door just ajar, and the crack of light.And Oswald was so pleased to see the light, knowing that burglars preferthe dark, or at any rate the dark lantern, that he felt really sure it_was_ the cat after all, and then he thought it would be fun to makethe others upstairs think it was really a robber. So he cocked thepistol--you can cock it, but it doesn't go off--and he said, 'Come on,Dick!' and he rushed at the study door and burst into the room, crying,'Surrender! you are discovered! Surrender, or I fire! Throw up yourhands!'
And, as he finished saying it, he saw before him, standing on the studyhearthrug, a Real Robber. There was no mistake about it. Oswald wassure it was a robber, because it had a screwdriver in its hands, and wasstanding near the cupboard door that H. O. broke the lock off; and therewere gimlets and screws and things on the floor. There is nothing inthat cupboard but old ledgers and magazines and the tool chest, but ofcourse, a robber could not know that beforehand.
When Oswald saw that there really was a robber, and that he was soheavily armed with the screwdriver, he did not feel comfortable. But hekept the pistol pointed at the robber, and--you will hardly believe it,but it is true--the robber threw down the screwdriver clattering on theother tools, and he _did_ throw up his hands, and said--
'I surrender; don't shoot me! How many of you are there?'
So Dicky said, 'You are outnumbered. Are you armed?'
And the robber said, 'No, not in the least.'
And Oswald said, still pointing the pistol, and feeling very strong andbrave and as if he was in a book, 'Turn out your pockets.'
The robber did: and while he turned them out, we looked at him. He wasof the middle height, and clad in a black frock-coat and grey trousers.His boots were a little gone at the sides, and his shirt-cuffs werea bit frayed, but otherwise he was of gentlemanly demeanour. He had athin, wrinkled face, with big, light eyes that sparkled, and then lookedsoft very queerly, and a short beard. In his youth it must have been ofa fair golden colour, but now it was tinged with grey. Oswald was sorryfor him, especially when he saw that one of his pockets had a large holein it, and that he had nothing in his pockets but letters and string andthree boxes of matches, and a pipe and a handkerchief and a thin tobaccopouch and two pennies. We made him put all the things on the table, andthen he said--
'Well, you've caught me; what are you going to do with me? Police?'
Alice and H. O. had come down to be reinforcements, when they heard ashout, and when Alice saw that it was a Real Robber, and that he hadsurrendered, she clapped her hands and said, 'Bravo, boys!' and so didH. O. And now she said, 'If he gives his word of honour not to escape,I shouldn't call the police: it seems a pity. Wait till Father comeshome.'
The robber agreed to this, and gave his word of honour, and asked if hemight put on a pipe, and we said 'Yes,' and he sat in Father's armchairand warmed his boots, which steamed, and I sent H. O. and Alice toput on some clothes and tell the others, and bring down Dicky's and myknickerbockers, and the rest of the chestnuts.
And they all came, and we sat round the fire, and it was jolly. Therobber was very friendly, and talked to us a great deal.
'I wasn't always in this low way of business,' he said, when Noel saidsomething about the things he had turned out of his pockets. 'It'sa great come-down to a man like me. But, if I must be caught, it'ssomething to be caught by brave young heroes like you. My stars! How youdid bolt into the room,--"Surrender, and up with your hands!" You mighthave been born and bred to the thief-catching.'
Oswald is sorry if it was mean, but he could not own up just then thathe did not think there was any one in the study when he did that braveif rash act. He has told since.
'And what made you think there was any one in the house?' the robberasked, when he had thrown his head back, and laughed for quite half aminute. So we told him. And he applauded our valour, and Alice and H.O. explained that they would have said 'Surrender,' too, only they werereinforcements. The robber ate some of the chestnuts--and we sat andwondered when Father would come home, and what he would say to us forour intrepid conduct. And the robber told us of all the things he haddone before he began to break into houses. Dicky picked up the toolsfrom the floor, and suddenly he said--
'Why, this is Father's screwdriver and his gimlets, and all! Well, I docall it jolly cheek to pick a man's locks with his own tools!'
'True, true,' said the robber. 'It is cheek, of the jolliest! But yousee I've come down in the world. I was a highway robber once, buthorses are so expensive to hire--five shillings an hour, you know--andI couldn't afford to keep them. The highwayman business isn't what itwas.'
'What about a bike?' said H. O.
But the robber thought cycles were low--and besides you couldn't goacross country with them when occasion arose, as you could with a trustysteed. And he talked of highwaymen as if he knew just how we likedhearing it.
Then he told us how he had been a pirate captain--and how he had sailedover waves mountains high, and gained rich prizes--and how he _did_begin to think that here he had found a profession to his mind.
'I don't say there are no ups and downs in it,' he said, 'especiallyin stormy weather. But what a trade! And a sword at your side, and theJolly Roger flying at the peak, and a prize in sight. And all the blackmouths of your guns pointed at the laden trader--and the wind in yourfavour, and your trusty crew ready to live and die for you! Oh--but it'sa grand life!'
I did feel so sorry for him. He used such nice words, and he had agentleman's voice.
'I'm sure you weren't brought up to be a pirate,' said Dora. She haddressed even to her collar--and made Noel do it too--but the rest of uswere in blankets with just a few odd things put on anyhow underneath.
The robber frowned and sighed.
'No,' he said, 'I was brought up to the law. I was at Balliol, blessyour hearts, and that's true anyway.' He sighed again, and looked hardat the fire.
'That was my Father's college,' H. O. was beginning, but Dickysaid--'Why did you leave off being a pirate?'
'A pirate?' he said, as if he had not been thinking of such things.
'Oh, yes; why I gave it up because--because I could not get over thedreadful sea-sickness.'
'Nelson was sea-sick,' said Oswald.
'Ah,' said the robber; 'but I hadn't his luck or his pluck, orsomething. He stuck to it and won Trafalgar, didn't he? "Kiss me,Hardy"--and all that, eh? _I_ couldn't stick to it--I had to resign. Andnobody kissed _me_.'
I saw by his understanding about Nelson that he was really a man who hadbeen to a good school as well as to Balliol.
Then we asked him, 'And what did you do then?'
And Alice asked if he was ever a coiner, and we told him how we hadthought we'd caught the desperate gang next door, and he was very muchinterested and said he was glad he had never taken to coining.
'Besides, the coins are so ugly nowadays,' he said, 'no one could reallyfind any pleasure in making them. And it's a hole-and-corner businessat the best, isn't it?--and it must be a very thirsty one--with the hotmetal and furnaces and things.'
And again he looked at the fire.
Oswald forgot for a minute that the interesting stranger was a robber,and asked him if he wouldn't have a drink. Oswald has heard Father dothis to his friends, so he knows it is the right thing. The robber saidhe
didn't mind if he did. And that is right, too.
And Dora went and got a bottle of Father's ale--the Light SparklingFamily--and a glass, and we gave it to the robber. Dora said she wouldbe responsible.
Then when he had had a drink he told us about bandits, but he said itwas so bad in wet weather. Bandits' caves were hardly ever properlyweathertight. And bush-ranging was the same.
'As a matter of fact,' he said, 'I was bush-ranging this afternoon,among the furze-bushes on the Heath, but I had no luck. I stopped theLord Mayor in his gilt coach, with all his footmen in plush and goldlace, smart as cockatoos. But it was no go. The Lord Mayor hadn't astiver in his pockets. One of the footmen had six new pennies: the LordMayor always pays his servants' wages in new pennies. I spent fourpenceof that in bread and cheese, that on the table's the tuppence. Ah, it'sa poor trade!' And then he filled his pipe again.
We had turned out the gas, so that Father should have a jolly goodsurprise when he did come home, and we sat and talked as pleasant ascould be. I never liked a new man better than I liked that robber. And Ifelt so sorry for him. He told us he had been a war-correspondent andan editor, in happier days, as well as a horse-stealer and a colonel ofdragoons.
And quite suddenly, just as we were telling him about Lord Tottenham andour being highwaymen ourselves, he put up his hand and said 'Shish!' andwe were quiet and listened.
There was a scrape, scrape, scraping noise; it came from downstairs.
'They're filing something,' whispered the robber, 'here--shut up, giveme that pistol, and the poker. There is a burglar now, and no mistake.'
'It's only a toy one and it won't go off,' I said, 'but you can cockit.'
Then we heard a snap. 'There goes the window bar,' said the robbersoftly. 'Jove! what an adventure! You kids stay here, I'll tackle it.'
But Dicky and I said we should come. So he let us go as far as thebottom of the kitchen stairs, and we took the tongs and shovel with us.There was a light in the kitchen; a very little light. It is curious wenever thought, any of us, that this might be a plant of our robber's toget away. We never thought of doubting his word of honour. And we wereright.
That noble robber dashed the kitchen door open, and rushed in with thebig toy pistol in one hand and the poker in the other, shouting out justlike Oswald had done--
'Surrender! You are discovered! Surrender, or I'll fire! Throw up yourhands!' And Dicky and I rattled the tongs and shovel so that he mightknow there were more of us, all bristling with weapons.
And we heard a husky voice in the kitchen saying--
'All right, governor! Stow that scent sprinkler. I'll give in. Blowed ifI ain't pretty well sick of the job, anyway.'
Then we went in. Our robber was standing in the grandest manner with hislegs very wide apart, and the pistol pointing at the cowering burglar.The burglar was a large man who did not mean to have a beard, I think,but he had got some of one, and a red comforter, and a fur cap, and hisface was red and his voice was thick. How different from our own robber!The burglar had a dark lantern, and he was standing by the plate-basket.When we had lit the gas we all thought he was very like what a burglarought to be.
He did not look as if he could ever have been a pirate or a highwayman,or anything really dashing or noble, and he scowled and shuffled hisfeet and said: 'Well, go on: why don't yer fetch the pleece?'
'Upon my word, I don't know,' said our robber, rubbing his chin.'Oswald, why don't we fetch the police?'
It is not every robber that I would stand Christian names from, I cantell you but just then I didn't think of that. I just said--'Do you meanI'm to fetch one?'
Our robber looked at the burglar and said nothing.
Then the burglar began to speak very fast, and to look different wayswith his hard, shiny little eyes.
'Lookee 'ere, governor,' he said, 'I was stony broke, so help me, Iwas. And blessed if I've nicked a haporth of your little lot. You knowyourself there ain't much to tempt a bloke,' he shook the plate-basketas if he was angry with it, and the yellowy spoons and forks rattled. 'Iwas just a-looking through this 'ere Bank-ollerday show, when you come.Let me off, sir. Come now, I've got kids of my own at home, strike meif I ain't--same as yours--I've got a nipper just about 'is size, andwhat'll come of them if I'm lagged? I ain't been in it long, sir, and Iain't 'andy at it.'
'No,' said our robber; 'you certainly are not.' Alice and the othershad come down by now to see what was happening. Alice told me afterwardsthey thought it really was the cat this time.
'No, I ain't 'andy, as you say, sir, and if you let me off this onceI'll chuck the whole blooming bizz; rake my civvy, I will. Don't be hardon a cove, mister; think of the missis and the kids. I've got one justthe cut of little missy there bless 'er pretty 'eart.'
'Your family certainly fits your circumstances very nicely,' said ourrobber. Then Alice said--
'Oh, do let him go! If he's got a little girl like me, whatever will shedo? Suppose it was Father!'
'I don't think he's got a little girl like you, my dear,' said ourrobber, 'and I think he'll be safer under lock and key.'
'You ask yer Father to let me go, miss,' said the burglar; ''e won't'ave the 'art to refuse you.'
'If I do,' said Alice, 'will you promise never to come back?'
'Not me, miss,' the burglar said very earnestly, and he looked at theplate-basket again, as if that alone would be enough to keep him away,our robber said afterwards.
'And will you be good and not rob any more?' said Alice.
'I'll turn over a noo leaf, miss, so help me.'
Then Alice said--'Oh, do let him go! I'm sure he'll be good.'
But our robber said no, it wouldn't be right; we must wait till Fathercame home. Then H. O. said, very suddenly and plainly:
'I don't think it's at all fair, when you're a robber yourself.'
The minute he'd said it the burglar said, 'Kidded, by gum!'--and thenour robber made a step towards him to catch hold of him, and before youhad time to think 'Hullo!' the burglar knocked the pistol up with onehand and knocked our robber down with the other, and was off out ofthe window like a shot, though Oswald and Dicky did try to stop him byholding on to his legs.
And that burglar had the cheek to put his head in at the window and say,'I'll give yer love to the kids and the missis'--and he was off likewinking, and there were Alice and Dora trying to pick up our robber, andasking him whether he was hurt, and where. He wasn't hurt at all, excepta lump at the back of his head. And he got up, and we dusted the kitchenfloor off him. Eliza is a dirty girl.
Then he said, 'Let's put up the shutters. It never rains but it pours.Now you've had two burglars I daresay you'll have twenty.' So we put upthe shutters, which Eliza has strict orders to do before she goes out,only she never does, and we went back to Father's study, and the robbersaid, 'What a night we are having!' and put his boots back in the fenderto go on steaming, and then we all talked at once. It was the mostwonderful adventure we ever had, though it wasn't treasure-seeking--atleast not ours. I suppose it was the burglar's treasure-seeking, buthe didn't get much--and our robber said he didn't believe a word aboutthose kids that were so like Alice and me.
And then there was the click of the gate, and we said, 'Here's Father,'and the robber said, 'And now for the police.'
Then we all jumped up. We did like him so much, and it seemed so unfairthat he should be sent to prison, and the horrid, lumping big burglarnot.
And Alice said, 'Oh, _no_--run! Dicky will let you out at the back door.Oh, do go, go _now_.'
And we all said, 'Yes, _go_,' and pulled him towards the door, and gavehim his hat and stick and the things out of his pockets.
But Father's latchkey was in the door, and it was too late.
Father came in quickly, purring with the cold, and began to say, 'It'sall right, Foulkes, I've got--' And then he stopped short and staredat us. Then he said, in the voice we all hate, 'Children, what is themeaning of all this?' And for a minute nobody spoke.
Then my Father
said, 'Foulkes, I must really apologize for these verynaughty--' And then our robber rubbed his hands and laughed, and criedout:
'You're mistaken, my dear sir, I'm not Foulkes; I'm a robber, capturedby these young people in the most gallant manner. "Hands up, surrender,or I fire," and all the rest of it. My word, Bastable, but you've gotsome kids worth having! I wish my Denny had their pluck.'
Then we began to understand, and it was like being knocked down, it wasso sudden. And our robber told us he wasn't a robber after all. He wasonly an old college friend of my Father's, and he had come after dinner,when Father was just trying to mend the lock H. O. had broken, to askFather to get him a letter to a doctor about his little boy Denny, whowas ill. And Father had gone over the Heath to Vanbrugh Park to see somerich people he knows and get the letter. And he had left Mr Foulkes towait till he came back, because it was important to know at once whetherFather could get the letter, and if he couldn't Mr Foulkes would havehad to try some one else directly.
We were dumb with amazement.
Our robber told my Father about the other burglar, and said he wassorry he'd let him escape, but my Father said, 'Oh, it's all right: poorbeggar; if he really had kids at home: you never can tell--forgive usour debts, don't you know; but tell me about the first business. It musthave been moderately entertaining.'
Then our robber told my Father how I had rushed into the room with apistol, crying out... but you know all about that. And he laid it onso thick and fat about plucky young-uns, and chips of old blocks, andthings like that, that I felt I was purple with shame, even under theblanket. So I swallowed that thing that tries to prevent you speakingwhen you ought to, and I said, 'Look here, Father, I didn't really thinkthere was any one in the study. We thought it was a cat at first, andthen I thought there was no one there, and I was just larking. And whenI said surrender and all that, it was just the game, don't you know?'
Then our robber said, 'Yes, old chap; but when you found there really_was_ someone there, you dropped the pistol and bunked, didn't you, eh?'
And I said, 'No; I thought, "Hullo! here's a robber! Well, it's all up,I suppose, but I may as well hold on and see what happens."'
And I was glad I'd owned up, for Father slapped me on the back, andsaid I was a young brick, and our robber said I was no funk anyway, andthough I got very hot under the blanket I liked it, and I explained thatthe others would have done the same if they had thought of it.
Then Father got up some more beer, and laughed about Dora'sresponsibility, and he got out a box of figs he had bought for us, onlyhe hadn't given it to us because of the Water Rates, and Eliza came inand brought up the bread and cheese, and what there was left of theneck of mutton--cold wreck of mutton, Father called it--and we had afeast--like a picnic--all sitting anywhere, and eating with our fingers.It was prime. We sat up till past twelve o'clock, and I never felt sopleased to think I was not born a girl. It was hard on the others; theywould have done just the same if they'd thought of it. But it does makeyou feel jolly when your pater says you're a young brick!
When Mr Foulkes was going, he said to Alice, 'Good-bye, Hardy.'
And Alice understood, of course, and kissed him as hard as she could.
And she said, 'I wanted to, when you said no one kissed you when youleft off being a pirate.' And he said, 'I know you did, my dear.' AndDora kissed him too, and said, 'I suppose none of these tales weretrue?'
And our robber just said, 'I tried to play the part properly, my dear.'
And he jolly well did play it, and no mistake. We have often seen himsince, and his boy Denny, and his girl Daisy, but that comes in anotherstory.
And if any of you kids who read this ever had two such adventures in onenight you can just write and tell me. That's all.