Until this evening, I’d never shared any aspect of my personal life with anyone. Now I’d told half the damn town that I knew about Hugh’s affairs. Well, if nothing else came of it, maybe they’d stop looking at me as the poor, deluded little woman who didn’t have a clue what her husband was up to.
The image of a volcano popped into my mind, one with small steam vents on its side to release the pressure, and a shaky laugh tore its way from my throat, the first honest amusement I’d felt in years. That volcano was exactly what I felt like. It was so wonderful, so freeing, to finally turn loose and say exactly what I was thinking. And while I normally wasn’t a hurtful person, if anyone had deserved it, it was Gretchen with her holier-than-thou attitude.
The problem with volcanoes, I mused, was that eventually the big explosion was going to happen no matter how much steam was let off. I was wondering what would set mine off, and who would get caught in the pyroclastic debris, when someone knocked on the door.
I had known Nick was working next door with a crew of men when I left this morning, and I’d seen him again when I’d unloaded my bags from the car this evening, but for once my mind was on other things. He was the last person I expected to find on the other side of the door, and my anger did a slow burn all over again.
“What do you want?” I blocked the threshold with my body, ignoring the fact that he could pick me and set me aside with one finger if he wanted to. I was also trying real hard not to notice how his damp black T-shirt clung to his upper body, or the way he looked in tight, faded jeans, or the way beads of moisture sparkled in his dark hair.
“Only some first aid. You don’t have to bite my head off.” He held up his right hand to show me a small puncture wound oozing blood from the base of his thumb. “I don’t have the water hooked up next door yet and I figured it needed to be cleaned out.”
His expression was suspiciously innocent. I put my hands on my hips as I glared at him. “It doesn’t look to me like you’ll risk bleeding to death if you try to make it home.”
The dimples in his cheeks deepened when he grinned. “Ah, but you see, I don’t have any bee balm at home.”
I spit out the dirtiest word I knew, one I’d never said in mixed company before, and stalked to the bathroom. The yank I gave the door of the medicine cabinet nearly tore it out of the wall. Still mumbling under my breath, I grabbed a tin of bee balm, spun, and then came to a dead stop.
Nick had closed the door behind him and now stood at my sink, washing the blood from his hand. His presence seemed to fill the room, suck the oxygen right out of it until I couldn’t breathe.
When he was through, he turned the water off and pulled a couple of paper towels from the roll before turning. Leaning his rear against the sink, he gazed around the room while he dried his hands. “It still feels like home, in spite of the changes. Same chair, same rug, same curtains—” His glance swung in my direction. “Same bed.”
Spine stiff, I thrust the tin at him. “Here. Keep it.”
Instead of taking it, he held out his hand. “Would you mind doing the honors? Kind of hard to reach with my left hand.”
Damn right I minded. I didn’t even want him in my room, much less to actually touch him. “I’m sure your wife will be happy to do it for you,” I snarled.
He didn’t even blink. His gaze stayed locked on mine like the sights from a sniper’s gun. “I don’t have a wife. I’ve never been married.”
If he thought that’s what I wanted to hear, he was dead wrong. “Oh? Well, I have to say, Nick, I didn’t think it was possible for you to drop any lower in my esteem, but you just managed it. Let me see. What was it you said?” I continued in a mocking voice. “I’ll never have a kid unless I’m married to its mother. A kid should have two parents who love it.”
His head lowered and he stared at the floor for a second. “Some things are out of our control, Alix.”
“Don’t be stupid,” I snapped. “Or is it possible you’ve still never heard of condoms? You know what those are, Nick? Some people call them rubbers. One of their functions is to prevent pregnancy. Don’t you dare stand there and tell me it was out of your control.” I was so mad I was vibrating.
“I know what they are.” He ran a hand through his hair in a gesture that was so familiar I wanted to scream. “Alix, don’t—“
For the second time that evening, someone knocked on the door, cutting off whatever Nick had been about to say. Had it only been yesterday I was bemoaning my loneliness? Right now I’d give a month’s wages if everyone would simply leave me the hell alone.
Braced for a battle, hair still on end, I grabbed the knob and pulled. Apparently I wasn’t the only one ready for a fight. I barely registered Hugh’s face before he started yelling at me.
“Have you lost your mind?” His hands fisted on his hips, and he glared at me like he’d never seen me before. Then again, maybe he hadn’t.
“There is that possibility,” I said. “I take it you heard about the events at the IGA?”
“Heard about it?” He was so agitated he hadn’t even noticed Nick. “Gretchen was so hysterical they had to sedate her to get her out of the store! Everybody in town now thinks I’m the scum of the earth. God damn it, Alix, I agreed to your divorce and now you’re trying to ruin me. Do you know what this is going to do to my reputation?”
This entire thing was turning into a slapstick comedy, and my lips twitched. Now he was worried about his reputation?
Choking on laughter, I patted his chest. “Don’t worry about it, Hugh. If your reputation is ruined, you aren’t alone. About two-thirds of the men in town are right there with you. Besides, it’s not like your affairs were a big dark secret. Even your mother knew about them.”
“I didn’t have any affairs! How can you keep accusing me? I loved you, I wouldn’t do that to you.”
My laughter died. “Oh, get a life, Hugh. I knew the first time you did it, and I knew every time after that. How could you think I wouldn’t?”
He glared at me, his eyes shooting green fire. “If you really thought I was seeing someone else, why the hell didn’t you ever say anything?”
Well, he’d asked for it, and I was in just the right mood to give it to him. “Because your other women were doing me a favor,” I said, voice low and angry. “As long as you were with them, I didn’t have to put up with you. And since I’m being honest, I might as well tell you; For someone who’s had so much practice, you suck in bed, Hugh. Do the women of the world a big favor. Take lessons!”
With that pronouncement, I slammed the door with all my strength, praying it would collide squarely with his nose. I stood there, panting like a racehorse who’d just finished the Arkansas Derby in record time, until someone cleared their throat behind me.
Oh, shit. I’d completely forgotten about Nick.
“Well, Peewee. Looks like you’ve gone from trying to catch Wowzer cats to whipping your weight in them.”
For the third time in less than an hour, I yanked the door open, then pointed with one outstretched arm. “Out! Now!”
“Okay, okay. I’m going.” He sauntered to the door, then stopped to look down at me. “But I will see you later.”
“Not if I see you first,” I growled.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Thursday, normally a slow day for Southern Supply, turned out to be a bumper day for the business. What was even more unusual was that the increase was due to the women of Morganville. It felt like every female in town found an excuse to stop by, and they all wanted me to wait on them.
I lost count of the times I heard, “bless her heart” flying around, all aimed at Piggy. A northerner walking in when this was going on would probably think there was something seriously wrong with Piggy and everyone was expressing sympathy. But we southerners know that you can insult someone as much as you want so long as you add that “bless her heart” to the end of your comment.
Everyone wanted to tell me exactly how they felt about Piggy and Gretchen, and
thank me for doing what they’d wanted to do for years. A few women even urged me to run for mayor, which was about the silliest thing I’d ever heard. Not only did Southern Supply take up all my time, I hated politics.
Right before lunch, I called Jenna. “Hey, are you busy?”
“Nothing I can’t put off. What’s up?”
“I thought I’d buy you lunch. I need to get out of this madhouse for a while.”
“Sure. I’ll meet you at the Wagon Wheel in fifteen minutes. But be warned. I want the whole story straight from the horse’s mouth.”
The Wagon Wheel wasn’t just the largest café in Morganville, it was the only decent place to eat. The food wasn’t fancy, but they did have a great salad bar and down home cooking. I got there before Jenna and grabbed a booth near the back.
Ten minutes later, she came through the door, paused until she saw me, and then walked back to the booth. She was wearing a blue-green business suit that set off her eyes and hair, and every male gaze in the room followed her progress across the cafe. Jenna didn’t seem to notice, though, and that was another puzzle I’d never solved. She was gorgeous. She could have any man she wanted. But she never dated.
In the past when I asked her about it, she only said she was too busy, or she didn’t need a man to make her complete, or she was happy the way she was with no one to tell her what to do. And yet I sensed she wasn’t being quite honest about her feelings.
I waited until she sat down, and then reached for her hand. “Have I told you how much I love and appreciate you?”
She blinked. “What brought this on?”
“You. You’re the only real friend I’ve got, Jenna. You don’t judge me or tell me how to run my life, but you’re always there for me, supporting everything I do. That’s very precious to me.”
Her grip tightened until I winced, and her gaze fell to the table. “I hope you always feel that way,” she whispered.
“I will. That’s a promise.”
She shook her head. “Don’t promise, Alix. You’ll jinx us.” Brushing a hand over her damp eyes, she smiled. “And stop trying to make me forget about Gretchen and Piggy. God, I wish I could have been there to see Gretchen’s face.”
By the time I finished, she was holding her sides, laughing and gasping for air. “Next time you decide to go off the deep end, make sure you have a video camera with you. I’m so proud of you. You’ve needed to let go for a long time now.”
“Well, I’m not proud of me. I could have found a better way to put her in her place. It’s not Gretchen’s fault that Piggy is a whore, bless her heart.”
That statement sent us both into gales of laughter. “Do you know, Sue Matthews actually wants me to run for mayor next fall?” I choked.
“Sounds like a good idea to me.” The response was male and came from right beside me. “Mind if I join you?”
As my gaze met Nick’s amused gray eyes, my laughter faded, replaced by a scowl.
“Yes.”
“Of course not.”
Jenna and I spoke at the same time. When I glared at her, she only smiled innocently. Naturally, it was her reply Nick chose to hear. When he sat down on my side of the booth, I moved over hurriedly, trying my best not to let his leg touch mine.
“I went by Southern Supply, but Kenny told me you had gone to lunch.”
“Oh?” I took a sip from my soda. “A problem with your material?”
“No. I wanted to talk you. I heard the whole story about what happened yesterday at the IGA.” His gaze held mine. “Still trying to save me, Alix?”
“Don’t flatter yourself.”
He crossed his arms on the table. “Then why did you do it?”
I sighed. “I did it because your son doesn’t deserve to live with that kind of viciousness. Especially when the rumors aren’t true.”
“Daniel’s a tough kid. He knew what to expect when we came back.”
“That doesn’t make it right,” Jenna said. “I’m glad Alix put a stop to it.” She gathered up her purse. “Well, got to run. You two enjoy yourselves.”
Before I could protest, she was gone, leaving me with the suspicion that she was trying to push me at Nick. Maybe I’d thanked her for her loyalty a little too soon.
Nick made no effort to move to the other side of the booth. Instead, he stretched his legs out and put his arm across the back of the seat. “Are you doing anything this evening?”
“Filing my teeth,” I snapped.
He grinned. “That sounds interesting. You do seem to have a thing for necks these days, don’t you?”
“Look, Nick, how many times do I have to say it? I won’t have dinner with you. I don’t want to talk to you. Give it up.”
Casually, he picked a fry up from my plate, stuck it in his mouth, and chewed. “The reason I asked is because Daniel has been bugging me to let him visit you. After the reception I got, I wasn’t sure it was safe, but it looks like I made a mistake about that.”
My breath caught in my chest. “Really?”
“If it’s okay with you.”
“It’s fine.” I could barely contain my excitement. For days, I’d tried to figure out a way to talk to Daniel without humiliating myself by going through Nick. Now he’d dumped the opportunity into my lap.
“Tell me about him?” I blurted the question eagerly, before I had time to think.
He straightened, a smile playing on his lips as though he’d discovered the master key to the Pearly Gates. “He’s a great kid. Makes the honor roll every year without even trying. He likes to read and he’s good at sports. And he’s real outgoing. Never meets a stranger.”
Exactly the way Katie would have been, I thought wistfully, pain curling in my chest.
Nick popped another fry in his mouth while he thought. “He’s not a nerd, but he loves computers. He built his own from scratch last winter. I guess he’s a little bored right now, though. He doesn’t know any of the kids in town yet, and there’s not a lot to do in Morganville. He spends most of his time following me or Bowie around, driving us crazy with questions.”
I picked up my purse and the check. “Well, tell him he’s welcome to visit me any time he wants. Now, I have to get back to work.”
#
The rest of the day dragged by in spite of the increase in business. I couldn’t get my mind off Daniel, wondering when he’d be there, what we’d say to each other, terrified it would be awkward, praying it wouldn’t.
It’s hard to explain now, my feelings at the time were so confused, but I honestly felt like I had a small claim on Nick’s son. The same blood that had flowed through my daughter’s veins flowed through Daniel’s. The same forces that had given Katie dark hair, gray eyes and dimples, had blessed Daniel in a similar fashion. Nick had fathered both children, and in my mind, that gave me a legitimate tie to Daniel, one that not even my anger at Nick would stop me from exploring.
And there’s always the possibility that I had a darker motive, one I couldn’t let myself acknowledge. Not then. Nick had left me. I bore our daughter alone, loved her, and saw her die. All the hatred and anger I’d aimed at Nick still lived, buried inside those walls I’d built. He had nearly destroyed my life.
So if I couldn’t have my daughter, I’d steal his son.
Oh, not physically. But mentally, emotionally? Since then, I’ve tried repeatedly to analyze my intentions, and the truth is, I simply don’t know. While I hope not, maybe revenge was driving me. Maybe I thought Nick had no right to a healthy, happy child when mine had died. Maybe, God help me, I thought he owed me his son.
And Daniel made it so easy.
He was waiting on me when I pulled the Chevy to a stop in front of the barn, leaning against the wall, watching the kittens play. His eyes lit up at the sight of the old car, and he was talking by the time I got the door open.
“Wow! I can’t believe you’ve still got the Chevy. Dad told me all about it. I didn’t think it would be running anymore.”
I smiled, then
looked ruefully at the car. “It has its moments. I need to take it in and have a tune-up done. Sometimes it dies on me.”
I’d kept the Chevy all these years over Hugh’s protests. He hated it when I drove the old car, claiming people would think we couldn’t afford better. Eventually I’d given in and let him buy me a BMW, one he traded in every year for a newer model. But I had refused to sell the Chevy, keeping it stored in the garage and starting it once a month to make sure it stayed in running order. When I left him, I left the fancy cars, too, and felt no urge to replace the Chevy with something better.
“Maybe I could do it for you.” Daniel looked as though he was dying to get his hands on the car.
“You know all about engines, huh?”
“Well, not everything, but Dad taught me a lot. These old engines are simpler to work on than the new ones with all their electric stuff.”
“Tell you what.” I smiled. “You give it a tune-up and I’ll let you drive it sometimes.”
“Awesome! You’ve got a deal.”
“Only when I’m with you, though.”
“Okay.”
I didn’t ask him if he had a learner’s permit, or even if he knew how to drive. In the south, kids started driving before they were potty trained. I could still remember sitting on the Judge’s lap, gripping the steering wheel tightly with both hands while he yelled encouragements and pretended I was scaring him half to death. I must have been all of three years old at the time.
“How do you like Morganville so far?” I asked, heading through the barn.
“It’s okay, I guess. A lot different from Saudi Arabia.”
A mild shock ran through me as I opened the door to my room. “That’s where you’ve been living?”
“Yeah. For the last eleven years, anyway. But I don’t remember much about Kentucky. We left there as soon as Dad got out of the army.”