“Ivy.” His voice was rough, and the hands that slid over me were achingly possessive. “I want you.”
I could feel that in the hard flesh that pulsed against my belly. Deep inside me, an answering throb responded. I’d been overwhelmed, angry, lost, betrayed, burdened and brokenhearted over the past several months, but right now, all I felt was passion that threatened to boil over until it scalded me, and I knew that I would love being burned.
But I couldn’t. Doing so wouldn’t just be epically stupid—it would be greedy, and greed was something to be avoided at all costs when it came to Adrian and me.
Judas had been guilty of three betrayals: trust, when he stole from the communal funds; greed, when he accepted those thirty pieces of silver; and death, when he identified Jesus to the Roman guards with that final, infamous kiss. Adrian had already betrayed my trust by lying to me about my real destiny. I wasn’t about to help him succumb to greed by saying yes now.
“No,” I said, pushing him away. Adrian let me back him up. He didn’t go far, and his hands flexed into fists as if he were fighting a fierce inner battle.
“Okay, so I still want you,” I went on, because that was obvious. “Whether that’s destiny, lust or something else, I don’t know, but if you care about me like you claim to, you’ll stay away from me unless you can prove that you’re not going to betray me again.”
And the only way he could prove that was if we succeeded in finding Moses’s staff and using it to repair the realm walls, then found the final, hallowed weapon, and did all of this without getting killed in the process. I may as well have told him that I’d give him a chance only if we were the last two people left on earth.
Even still, I couldn’t stop the emotions that rolled over me, breaking through barriers that hadn’t been strong enough to hold them. Adrian was right—I did still care for him. And that weakened me in ways my enemies would be too quick to take advantage of.
“I need to stay focused if I have any chance at winning this fight,” I continued, my tone hardening. “So, once again, if you really want to show me that you’ve changed, walk away from me. Now.”
He said nothing for so long that I wondered if he was going to walk away without a word. If he did, it would be for the best, which was why I refused to say anything else.
“What if I can prove that I won’t betray you again?” he finally asked, surprising me.
I let out a short laugh. “If any of us are still alive after this whole thing is over, sure, I might be up for a date.”
“There’s a way I can prove I won’t betray you without waiting until then, but I’ll need Zach.” Then his voice dropped, becoming rougher and softer at the same time. “If I can prove to you that you can trust me, that there’s no way I’d even be able to betray you again, will you give me a chance? A real one?”
I should say no. It might sound like a simple question, but it still possibly had destiny-affecting consequences. Then again, it was as realistic as my saying what I’d do if I won the Powerball, although I had better odds of doing that than Adrian had of proving he’d beat his destiny without actually having to beat it first.
Still, even as the word no formed on my lips, something rose up in me. What was wrong with saying what I’d do if an impossible dream came true? the part of me that couldn’t stop caring for Adrian whispered. After all, millions of people talked about what they’d do if they won the Powerball, and 99.9 percent of them would never find out.
In the end, I gave Adrian the same answer I’d forced myself not to say earlier. “Yes. Prove that...and I’ll give you a chance.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
DESPITE BEING AWAKE for half the night, I woke up before Jasmine. After I brushed my teeth and threw a cardigan over my tank top, I went out into the main room. From the swaying motion of the tour bus, we were already back on the road, but I was surprised to see Adrian driving. Brutus sat behind Adrian’s chair, and someone had thrown a large blanket over the gargoyle so that he was completely covered. Costa was awake, yawning as he opened a carton of eggs in the kitchen.
“Oh, let me make breakfast,” I said, smiling as I gently moved him aside. It’s not that I thought cooking was my duty as a girl. Costa loved to cook, but he also wasn’t very good at it, as the past several weeks had proved.
He gave me a hopeful look as he went to the wet bar, where a coffeemaker was now set up. “French toast?”
“Sure. Adrian?” I asked, a little unsure about how I should act. Things between us hadn’t changed, and yet I’d agreed that they might, if he could prove that he’d conquered his destiny.
“Nothing for me, I already ate,” he replied.
That neutral response told me nothing about his frame of mind. Come to think of it, Adrian had been blunt to the point of aggressiveness about wanting me, yet he hadn’t said that he wanted more than sex. Months ago, he’d told me that he loved me, but in fairness, he said it right before he thought he was going to be killed by minions.
Did he still love me? Or—in truth—had he ever loved me? Maybe his saying that back then had been impulse instead of sincerity? He had thought he was about to die, after all.
I began breaking eggs and mixing them in a bowl. Noises in the bedroom had to be Jasmine waking up, so I called out, “Jaz? Want French toast?” while still mentally stewing.
“Did you mention breakfast?” Jasmine said with a yawn, appearing in the doorway.
I turned toward her, smiling to cover the confusion that had started to swirl inside me. “Yep. Hungry?”
“Starving,” she began, then stopped, staring hard. “I don’t believe it,” she hissed before going back into the bedroom and slamming the door.
I exchanged a bewildered glance with Costa. “Beats me,” he said to my unspoken question.
“I’ll be right back,” I muttered, wiping egg residue from my hands. Then I slid the door open. “Jaz? What’s wrong?”
She was as far away from me as the room allowed, and when she swung around and glared at me, I came in and shut the door. Whatever it was, she obviously thought it was my fault.
“You snuck out to see Adrian last night,” she accused.
How had she known? She’d been asleep when I came back in! Then, I pushed my guilt back and straightened. I was a grown woman and I didn’t need my little sister’s permission to meet with anyone. Plus, I hadn’t done anything with Adrian.
“Not for what you think,” I said, trying to find a balance between you can’t tell me what to do and I love you, sis. “He taught me how to ride Brutus while he’s flying. Adrian used that trick to fight the demon from the other day, so it’s important that I know it, too, with what we’re up against.”
An angry kind of hurt filled her gaze. “Oh, so I’m supposed to believe that Brutus gave you that hickey?”
For the hundredth time, I cursed my inability to look into a mirror. I’d gotten pretty good at putting on makeup using other reflective surfaces, but they weren’t clear enough to show everything, like an incriminating hickey that needed covering.
“I expect you to trust me,” I settled on, meeting her gaze squarely. “Nothing is going to happen between me and Adrian. The only, highly unlikely exception to that is if he can prove that he can beat his fate, and that’s a very big ‘if.’”
Jasmine didn’t reply. She just stormed past me and headed toward the front of the former tour bus.
“Jaz, don’t!” I shouted, chasing after her.
“Let’s get something clear,” she snapped when she reached Adrian. “If you betray my sister again, I’ll kill you.”
I wanted to drag her away, but Adrian held out his hand to me in the universal gesture for Wait, I’ve got this.
“If I betray Ivy again, I’ll let you kill me,” he told Jasmine, a hard little smile playing on his lips. “Deal?”
“You’d better believe it,” she muttered, spinning around. “Forget the French toast, I lost my appetite.”
“After this, so did I,” I snapped.
“Don’t worry, Ivy,” Adrian said, his tone deceptively mild. “Now that your sister and I have an understanding, all that’s left is coming through on what you and I agreed to.”
Costa raised a brow, but after Jasmine’s little scene, I wasn’t about to explain my ultimatum to Adrian last night.
“Tell you later,” I said with a sigh.
Then, taking a deep breath, I went back to the kitchen and began mixing the eggs again. All the while, I repeated she’s been though a lot until it cooled my anger. Jasmine just needed more time to see that Adrian wasn’t the same person she’d heard so much about while trapped in his former realm. Right now, the only thing she knew was that fate predicted him to betray me two more times, the final one being permanent. No wonder she wasn’t his biggest fan. She didn’t have to be so bitchy about everything, but then again...
“She’s been through a lot,” I said to the room in general.
Adrian’s glance at me only lasted a second, yet its effect lingered. “So have you, Ivy.”
True, and the fight wasn’t even half over yet. The thought made me whisk the eggs far harder than necessary. Costa came over and gave me a supportive pat on the back.
“Don’t mind Jasmine’s attitude,” he said lightly. “I hated Adrian at first, too.”
I stopped whisking to whirl around in surprise. “But he pulled you out of a demon realm and saved your life!”
Something dark flashed over Costa’s face, marring his tanned, attractive features. “He did, yet I still hated him for a long time because of what happened to me in the realms. Some things, you get over. Some things—” his voice lowered until I doubted that anyone except me could hear him “—you don’t.”
A chill skittered up my spine. Yes, Costa had suffered horribly in the same realm that Adrian had ruled for almost a century, but I’d been sure that he’d forgiven Adrian since Adrian had walked away from that life to devote himself to destroying demons. Furthermore, Costa had fought side by side with us when we’d searched for the slingshot, and through it all, I’d never had reason to doubt his loyalty.
Yet that unfamiliar hardness in his dark brown gaze now made me wonder...what if I’d been wrong?
CHAPTER NINE
WE MADE IT through the next two days without incident. When it was daylight, the four of us took turns driving, once Jasmine and I learned the trick to operating a forty-six-foot-long vehicle that was also towing a car. Once night fell, we parked on hallowed ground, avoiding the chance of running into any demons who ventured out in the dark to play. Brutus was our version of a security system then. While we slept, he was awake, either perching himself on the roof of the bus or flying overhead to scope out danger from the skies.
Despite being in near constant contact with Adrian for the past few days, there seemed to be an invisible wall between us. That could be because Jasmine had practically welded herself to my hip, but I wondered if something else was up.
I should just ask Adrian how he intended to prove that he wouldn’t betray me again. Or ask him how he felt about me—the other question I couldn’t stop wondering about. Yet I didn’t have the courage to do it, and the irony of that wasn’t lost on me. How could I hope to win a fight against demons if I didn’t even have the guts to wage an emotional battle?
Racetrack Playa in Death Valley, California, was hot, with sunshine so strong, the rays almost felt tangible. I’d expected mile upon mile of gently rolling sand hills, but the terrain was flat, hard earth that reminded me more of an endless parking lot than a desert. In many ways, it was the exact opposite of a demon realm, yet this area had the same air of desolateness, and if I squinted, the mountains in the distance could have been gargantuan pyramids that demons so loved to show off with.
Jasmine looked around with more bemusement than trepidation, reminding me that the only realm she’d seen had been Adrian’s. That had been a paradise compared to some of the others, with petrified trees mimicking a forest and frozen rivers reflecting lights from the magnificent, blue-hued city.
“See all the rocks, Ivy?” Adrian said, breaking through my memories. “Those trails behind them are why we’re here.”
Countless rocks did litter the cracked ground, ranging in size from baseballs to boulders. Most had trails behind them, indicating that they’d been dragged to their positions. Some of those trails were short, as if a child had pushed the smaller ones a few inches before growing bored, yet some of them stretched out farther than I could see, and it would take several people to move the bigger boulders even an inch.
Why would anyone want to come out to Death Valley just to push around rocks? I wondered. Talk about being in desperate need of a social life. Then I looked more closely at the trails behind the rocks. Something was missing...
“There are no footprints,” I said in surprise. “How did those stones move, if no one was out here to move them?”
Adrian gave me an arch look. “Exactly. Scientists recently came up with a reason why the sailing stones moved on their own, but I don’t buy it. That’s why this place is our first stop. Do you sense anything hallowed at play here?”
The million-dollar question. I took a deep breath, focusing on the supernatural sensor inside me. After a few moments, I frowned. Nothing. Was this thing inside me even on?
I tried again, closing my eyes as I concentrated harder. Minutes ticked by, and still, nothing. Okay, maybe there wasn’t anything sacred within a hundred miles of this place, but then I should have felt the lack of it. Instead, all I felt was sweat trickling down my body and a headache coming on.
“Ivy.” Adrian’s voice was low. “Are you okay?”
I opened my eyes, a sigh hissing through my teeth as I figured out the problem. “No. I’m completely out of shape!”
“Says who?” Costa said, giving me a once-over.
I almost kicked a nearby rock out of frustration. “Not like that. I spent the past couple months learning how to fight, but I haven’t worked on my hallowed radar since I found the slingshot. That means now, my hallowed radar is as sluggish as if it spent this whole time couch-surfing while bingeing on chips and beer.”
Jasmine gave me an incredulous look. “Are you serious?”
“As if I’d joke about this,” I muttered.
There had to be a way to jump-start my process. After all, I’d managed to use my hallowed-finder back when I didn’t even know that I had the ability. Of course, back then my life was usually in danger, so that had probably factored into things—
Inspiration hit and I spun around, grabbing Adrian by the arm. “Choke me,” I announced. “Survival instinct kicks my abilities into gear, as you proved so memorably before.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “No.”
“But you have to,” I said, which should have been obvious. Otherwise, we’d wasted three days driving all the way out here.
His featured tightened. “I only did that before because a child’s life was on the line. Unless it’s life-or-death, I’m never hurting you again. Besides—” his voice lost its harshness “—survival instinct isn’t the only thing that can trigger your abilities. Adrenaline should work, too.”
I let out a short laugh. “So I should find a scorpion and pet it for the sheer terror of the experience?”
His mouth quirked. “You could, but I had something else in mind.”
* * *
MY SEAT BELT was on as tight as I could stand. I also had one hand pressed against the side window while the other gripped the seat divider. In addition to that, my leg was braced against the dashboard so I could wedge my body farther into the seat. Still, it felt like I’d be vaulted out of the car at any moment.
And I couldn’t stop smiling. That was the craziest thing. At first, I’d been nervous when Adrian gunned the Challenger to incredible speeds across the desert, leaving Jasmine, Costa and the bus containing Brutus far behind. Then I’d been shocked by how he could spin the muscle car around in circles and cause it to “drift” while still maintaining complete control.
I’d never done something reckless just for the fun of it before. Jasmine had always been the impulsive one. I’d been careful, polishing my mask of normalcy as I went through the motions that were otherwise referred to as life. For the longest time, I blamed my ennui on the medication I took for my hallucinations, but then I found out the pills were placebos. My parents had supplied them, knowing there was no cure for my condition, but not wanting to admit that until they thought I could handle it. What they hadn’t known was that the cause of my visions was supernatural instead of medical.
No, I’d numbed myself to the world all on my own, resigning myself to never feeling the things that “normal” people felt. Then I met Adrian. He didn’t just wake something up inside me; in many ways, he’d transformed me. No wonder I had such difficulty controlling myself around him. Maybe, for the moment, I shouldn’t even try to. Maybe, like I was doing with this wild car ride, I should just enjoy being reckless instead.
I unclipped my seat belt and slid across the seat. Adrian gave me a startled look, slowing the car at once. I didn’t wait for it to stop before I leaned over and pressed my lips to his.
His response was immediate, and electric. He yanked me closer, the momentum from him hitting the brakes slamming me harder against him. I didn’t care, because his mouth slanted over mine and his arms crushed me to him. I moaned as his tongue slashed past my lips, tangling with mine until I felt drunk with his taste. I breathed in his scent, reveled in the scrape of his lightly stubbled jaw, then arched in wordless bliss when he pulled me all the way onto his lap.