Chapter 15
Raven
"I'd be glad to help you powder the cat," Felipe said.
"Don't change the subject," I said.
Around the corner in the living room, Critter, my fluffy cat, scratched herself repeatedly. Seated at the dining room table, my companions were busy slogging down breakfast, Felipe munching sausage and toast and Jessie an omelet.
"No, ma'am," Felipe said, "wouldn't think of it. But you do need to do something about the fleas. They've been making regular meals out of me."
I hustled to the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of vitamin B1 capsules.
"Take one every day. It'll stop the pesky buggers from biting you. Critter doesn't have fleas. The vet told me she's allergic to herself. You have to be getting them from the bushes. Come on, guys, tell me what you think-- something, anything."
"You see, it's like this Black Bird," Jessie said and cleared his throat. "When confronted with truth, you can either accept it, deny it or waver in-between. I chose to accept it."
"Truth is subjective," I said. "Whether or not a person accepts something as truth is dependent on lots of things. Getting a feeling about something isn't good enough. People have feelings about things on all side of an issue. All of them can't be true."
"Why not?" Jessie asked.
"Don't be difficult," I said.
"I'm not," Jessie said. "You're speaking in terms of duality, where there's a division into two contradictory parts. What if things don't work that way? What if all things are true, and all things are false or something else, simultaneously?"
"Oh, good grief," I said. "Look, I don't want a debate. I just want to know how a person, any person can know what's true."
"That's what he's telling you," Felipe said.
I rolled my eyes and sighed loudly. "I guess it's time for me to get to it."
"We can continue this discussion another time," Jessie said, dimpling a smile across his face.
Felipe looked equally winsome.
Aggravated, I said, "Apparently that won't do any good."
There was the issue of the past and how to sort it out. There was also the animal magnetism of two equally attractive men. Falling in love with either or both of them would be easy, even though I was still hurting because of Tad. Love, Grandma White Bear had said, was a matter of inclusion, not exclusion. Inclusion was winning.
I left them in the kitchen and climbed the stairs to my studio. Seating myself at my computer overlooking a stretch of rippling water, I turned on the machine and brought up what I'd written the day before. After reading over the first few sentences, in spite of my ongoing skepticism, I began recording my dreams. It was dark by the time I decided to stop.
I found the guys on the lower deck. Jessie was drinking wine, Felipe beer. Both were scarfing in pizza. Seating myself between them I took a slice.
"You've had a long day. How'd it go?" Felipe asked.
"Not bad. This time I didn't have to struggle to find the words. It just sort of came. Of course, who knows how it'll read to someone else. Good pizza."
"You wanted our opinion of your dreams. But the real question is, do they seem real to you?" Jessie asked.
"I've always had imaginative dreams," I said. "Some seem very real."
"Do you think that's what it is," Felipe asked, "your imagination kicking in?"
I scratched the side of my neck and glanced at him. "Some of it's way too convenient for my intellectual side to accept."
"The left brain/right brain struggle," Jessie said.
"Pretty much," I said. "What my right brain knows to be true, my left brain thinks is crap."
"I've got an idea," Felipe said.
"What's that?" I asked.
"I was thinking maybe..."
A crash came from the bushes at the corner of the yard. Tensing up, I scanned the darkness.
"Get inside," Felipe said. "Now."
"It's probably my crazy neighbor," I said. "He does weird things at all hours of the night."
Jessie bodily moved me into the house, opened the door to the pantry and shoved me inside. "Stay here until we come get you."
Huddling in the dark I thought it ridiculous. I cracked open the door. A loud thump penetrated the walls. There was a sound of rustling and moving about.
"I got him," Felipe said.
"You take his arms. I'll get his feet," Jessie said.
"What do you want to do with him?"
"The river's a good place," Jessie said.
Their voices faded. I waited and waited. Curious, anxious, impatient, I peeked into the kitchen. It was shadowed by light from the deck. Cautiously, I peered through the kitchen window over the sink, spotting the top of Jessie's head and then Felipe's.
"That was close," Jessie said, laughing.
The two climbed the steps and entered the house.
"You threw him into the river?" I asked, aghast.
"What you doing out of the closet?" Jessie asked.
"Tell me what's going on," I said.
"Okay, but first, promise me that next time you'll stay hidden when I tell you to stay hidden," Jessie said.
"Did you kill someone or what?" I said.
"Oh sure, and we disposed of the body in the river." Felipe laughed. "Do you want to tell her?"
"Go for it," Jessie said.
"It was a large raccoon," Felipe said. "I clobbered the poor thing."
"Is it dead?" I headed for the door. "Maybe I can help it."
"I had the rake, you see," Felipe said. "I couldn't tell what it was. I didn't mean to connect with it. I just meant to scare whatever it was, out of the bushes."
"So you dumped it in the river so it would die for sure?"
"It was stunned and disoriented. We took it down to the edge so it could get some water," Jessie said. "Guess we can consider this a dry run."
"Lord," I said. "That gave me quite a jolt. So much for sleeping tonight."
"Then why don't you tell us a bedtime story," Felipe said.