Chapter 34
Ruth
"So, what is it you're talking about?" said an old woman named Naomi.
The door opened. Melanie entered the room carrying butter cakes and wine. She shared them with the group. Now middle aged, the slim presentation of her youth was gone. She was chunky with a pleasant smile. Everyone, who drew near her, came away feeling blessed.
"I see you're bribing us, again," Naomi said. "Sometimes I think I come just for your butter cakes."
"Whatever works," Melanie said, good-naturedly and seated herself in the circle of women.
Gathered in Ruth's home by the sea, the tattered-looking women had little but soul; some were young, some old. The appearance of age was upon Ruth as well. It did have its benefits. The women looked to her as though she had the answer of the ages.
"It's all about gifts," Ruth said.
"What kind?" Naomi said. She wore a look of skepticism born of age and hard times.
"The gift of yourself to yourself," Ruth said. "If you always cater to others, you will never discover who you are inside, who you're intended to be."
"So," Naomi said, "if I take care of my family, I'm not taking care of myself?"
"That's not what I mean. We all have tasks to do. We all have responsibilities. What I'm saying is, that in the process of going about your daily lives, don't abandon what you dream about."
"I wanted to teach pottery-making to children, when I was young," Naomi said. "It's too late now."
"Why?" Melanie asked.
"I'm old," Naomi said. "My hands are stiff and sore."
"But you're still making pots, aren't you?" Ruth said.
"It is the way I earn my living," Naomi said, "now that my husband is gone."
"So, you have lots of experience" Ruth said. "You see things from the longer view at this point in your life. This is an excellent time. The next time you start making pots, let the neighbors know and ask if they or their children would like to learn."
"Things may not always unfold the way we think they will," Melanie said. "Life continues outside the dream. The key is to concentrate on it for as long as it takes."
"I've been concentrating on the Romans leaving for years," said woman named Eve. "If this stuff works, why are they still here?"
"They have freewill too, and they think this land is theirs," Ruth said.
"Then I don't see how it will ever work," Eve said. "There will always be someone who wants something else."
"Some things take a long time," Ruth said. "Some won't happen this lifetime."
There was a commotion outside. Peering out the window Ruth noted that Simon and Thaddeus were home. The four lived in houses side by side.
"A satisfying life," Ruth said, "is a matter of finding what you love to do and doing it."
"My husband hardly lets me go anywhere," Kayla said. "He insists I think and believe like him. If he knew what you were teaching, he wouldn't let me come. With the children, the garden and all I have to do, there isn't time. You're lucky. Your parents taught you to be independent. Your husband lets you be what you want to be. You have it so good."
"Good?" Ruth sighed. She had heard the excuse repeatedly. "Lots of bad things have happened to me. Again and again my family and I have had to hide. Thirty years ago my first husband, John, the one they called the Prophet, was beheaded by Pilate. My son, Daniel, was slain by soldiers when he was three. They raped me. My daughter, Clarissa, died along with my brother's wife and their children when the soldiers raided the family compound shortly after my brother Yeshua was crucified. James found them dead along with my brother David's children. My two other children died of the plague that swept through here five years ago. And then there was the uprising six months ago. A number of my cousins and their families died at that time."
Ruth took a long breath to ward off the pain which reared up if she allowed it.
"Each time something like this happens," she said, "I realize how important it is to find my own way in spite of the government, in spite of what others expect and in spite of common beliefs."
"You mean traditions?" Kayla said, sounding indignant. "These ways have been taught to us since we were little."
"Do you think they are always right?" Ruth asked.
"They work," Naomi said, with a look of knowing.
"Do they?" Ruth said. "Is that why men beat their wives and children? Just because something has always been a certain way, does that mean it was the right choice in the first place?"
"You might start by believing you have a right to be happy," Melanie said. "Each day I give an idea, what I'd like to do, a little time at least in my thoughts. Eventually, I find a way to make it work."
"Are these Yeshua's teachings?" said the old potter woman.
"Yes," Ruth said.
"Did he die and rise again?" Kayla asked. "That's what everybody says."
"He only came close," Ruth said.
"Where is he now?" Kayla said. "Nobody I know has seen him for years."
"I honestly don't know," Ruth said. "He and his wife left the area for reasons of safety. We never did find out where he went. Only Uncle Joseph knew. When we decided it wasn't safe for Mother here anymore, he arranged for her to join them. From there she was planning to go to Leeds."
"Where's that?" Naomi asked.
"Way up north somewhere. That's all I know," Ruth said.
"Why are you telling us this now?" Naomi asked.
"Uncle Joseph took the secret of their whereabouts with him when he died," Ruth said.
"What about your mother?" Kayla said.
"Leeds is a long way off," Ruth said. "No will bother looking for her there."
"Okay, now it's time for sharing problems," Melanie said. "I know some of you have things you want to discuss. The rest of us may have encountered similar problems. We can tell how we handled them and how that worked. After that we will share what we have in excess, supplies and the like, that others of us might need."
"That's the only reason my husband lets me come," said one young woman.
The exchange lasted until early afternoon. When the women were gone, Melanie returned home. Simon came inside.
"How'd it go with the men today?" Ruth asked, giving her husband a kiss on the cheek.
"Oh, woman, that's not going to do," Simon said, hugging her hard. "It went okay, I guess. But the men--today I was trying to tell them how important it is to treat their wives and female children with the same kind of respect they give men. Gees, they're a bunch of dunderheads. Someone laughed and said, 'who gives respect to anyone?' I'm afraid I lost it and lit into the guy. Thaddeus had to calm me down and do damage control. One day I've got to gain better control of this temper."
"You're better than you used to be."
"Age has some benefits. It's like we know the path's ahead, but there's a cliff in the way. The only way to get where we want to go is through hard rock. We can't turn around. We can't climb over. And we have no choice but to proceed."
"I feel that way a lot."
"Speaking of going through rock, tomorrow, Thaddeus and I are going to Rome. There are people there who've been asking us to share the teachings."
Shivers shot over Ruth's arms and up her back. "You'll be going into the lion's den. I hear in the marketplace that there's been a lot of violence against our people."
"Some of the cubs are anxious to learn."
A fog of fear crept over her, the way it had once before when she was young.
"Please don't go, " she said, trembling inside. The horror grew. "Not this time."
"What do you sense?"
"Your life is in danger."
"It always is, Ruth. I've always honored your foreknowledge, but this time I can't not go."
He led her outside. They sat on the beach together, watching the incoming waves. In the distance a patch of blue widened between long slips of clouds.
"Do you
know how much I've always loved you?" he said, his arm around her waist. "You're the best woman a man could have. Without you, I would have given up many times."
"So you've told me. I love you too, so much, so very, very much." She tried not to feel desolate. Maybe what she was seeing would not happen. Now that he knew he could be more vigilant.
"Ruthie?" he said.
These days no one called her Ruthie.
"Yes?"
"I love you." He kissed her gently and lay her back on the sand. As darkness enveloped them, they made love the way they had when they were young.
~~~***~~~