They wanted to give him a gold-headed cane, too. But they were unableto find one anywhere.
When Brownie Beaver heard of that he said it was just as well, becausehe seldom walked far on land and there wasn't much use in a person'scarrying a cane when he swam, anyhow. Although it was sometimes done,he had always considered it a silly practice--and one that he wouldnot care to follow.
VI
A HAPPY THOUGHT
Brownie Beaver liked to know what was going on in the world. Butliving far from Pleasant Valley as he did, he seldom heard any newsbefore it was quite old.
"I wish--" he said to Mr. Crow one day, when that old gentleman wasmaking him a visit--"I wish someone would start a newspaper in thisneighborhood."
Mr. Crow told Brownie that he would be glad to bring him an oldnewspaper whenever he happened to find one. "Thank you!" BrownieBeaver said. "You're very kind. But an old newspaper would be of nouse to me."
"Why not?" Mr. Crow inquired. "They make very good beds, I've beentold. And I suppose that is what you want one for."
"Not at all!" Brownie replied. "I'd like to know what's happening overin Pleasant Valley. It takes so long for news to reach us here in ourpond that it's often hardly worth listening to when we hear it--it'sso old. Now, what I'd really prefer is a newspaper that would tell meeverything that's going to happen a week later."
Mr. Crow said he never heard of a newspaper like that.
"Well, somebody ought to start one," Brownie Beaver answered.
Mr. Crow thought deeply for some minutes without saying a word. And atlast He cried suddenly:
"I have an idea!"
"Have you?" Brownie Beaver exclaimed. "What is it, Mr. Crow?"
"I'll be your newspaper!" Mr. Crow told him.
At that Brownie Beaver looked somewhat doubtful.
"That's very kind of you," he said. "But I'm afraid it wouldn't do memuch good. You're so black that the ink wouldn't show on you atall---unless," he added, "they use _white_ ink to print on you."
"You don't understand," old Mr. Crow said. "What I mean is this: I'llfly over here once a week and tell you everything that's happened. Ofcourse," he continued, "I can't very well tell you everything that isgoing to take place the following week. But I'll do my best."
Brownie Beaver was delighted. And when Mr. Crow asked him what day hewanted his newspaper Brownie said that Saturday afternoon would be agood time.
"That's the last day of the week," Brownie Beaver remarked, "so youought to have plenty of news for me. You know, if you came the firstday of the week there would be very little to tell."
"That's so!" said Mr. Crow. "Well say 'Saturday,' then. And you shallhave your newspaper without fail--unless," he explained--"unless thereshould be a bad storm, or unless I should be ill. And, of course, ifFarmer Green should want me to help him in his cornfield, I wouldn'tbe able to come. There might be other things, too, to keep me at home,which I can't think of just now," said Mr. Crow.
Again Brownie Beaver looked a bit doubtful.
"I hope you'll try to be regular," he told Mr. Crow. "When a persontakes a newspaper he doesn't like to be disappointed, you know."
Old Mr. Crow said that he hoped nothing would prevent his coming toBrownie's house every Saturday afternoon.
"There's only one more thing I can think of," he croaked, "that wouldmake it impossible for me to be here. And that is if I should losecount of the days of the week or have to see a baseball game or flysouth for the winter."
"But that's _three_ things, instead of only _one_," Brownie Beaverobjected.
"Well--maybe it is," Mr. Crow replied--"the way you count. But I callit only one because I said it all in one breath, without a singlepause."
"I hope you won't tell me the news as fast as that," said BrownieBeaver, "for if you did I should never be able to remember one-half ofit."
But Mr. Crow promised that he would talk very slowly.
"You'll be perfectly satisfied," he told Brownie. "And now I must gohome at once, to begin gathering news."
VII
A NEWFANGLED NEWSPAPER
After Mr. Crow flew back to Pleasant Valley to gather news for him,Brownie Beaver carefully counted each day that passed. Since Mr. Crowhad agreed to be his newspaper, and come each Saturday afternoon totell him everything that had happened during the week, Brownie was ina great hurry for Saturday to arrive.
In order to make no mistake, he put aside a stick in which he gnawed anotch each day. And in that way he knew exactly when Saturday came.
That was probably the longest day in Brownie Beaver's life. At least,it seemed so to him. Whenever he saw a bird soaring above the tree-topshe couldn't help hoping it was Mr. Crow. And whenever he heard a_caw_--_caw_ far off in the distance Brownie Beaver dropped whateverhe happened to be doing, expecting that Mr. Crow would flap into sightat any moment.
Brownie had many disappointments. But Mr. Crow really came at last. Helighted right on top of Brownie Beaver's house and called "Paper!"down the chimney--just like that!
Brownie happened to be inside his house. And in a wonderfully shorttime his head appeared above the water and he soon crawled up besideMr. Crow.
"Well, I _am_ glad to see you!" he told Mr. Crow.
"Peter Mink caught a monstrous eel in the duck pond on Monday," Mr.Crow said. Being a newspaper, he thought he ought to say nothingexcept what was news--not even "Good afternoon!"
"Mr. Rabbit, of Pine Ridge, with his wife and fourteen children, isvisiting his brother, Mr. Jeremiah Rabbit. Mrs. Jeremiah Rabbit saysshe does not know when her husband's relations are going home," Mr.Crow continued to relate in a singsong voice.
"Goodness gracious!" Brownie Beaver exclaimed.
"Fatty Coon--" Mr. Crow said--"Fatty Coon was confined to his house byillness Tuesday night. He ate too many dried apples."
"Well, well!" Brownie Beaver murmured. And he started to ask Mr. Crowa question. But Mr. Crow interrupted him with more news.
"Mrs. Bear had a birthday on Wednesday. An enjoyable time was had byall--except the pig."
"Pig?" Brownie Beaver asked. "What pig?"
"The pig they ate," said Mr. Crow. And he went right on talking. "OnThursday Mr. Woodchuck went to visit his cousins in the West. Mrs.Woodchuck is worried."
"What's she worried about?" Brownie inquired.
"She's afraid he's coming back again," Mr. Crow explained.
"I _have_ heard he was lazy," Brownie said. "What happened on Friday?"
"Tommy Fox made a visit. But he didn't have a good time at all," Mr.Crow reported, "and he left faster than he came."
Brownie Beaver wanted to know where Tommy Fox made his visit.
"At Farmer Green's hen-house," Mr. Crow explained.
"Why did he hurry away?" Brownie asked.
"Old dog Spot chased him," Mr. Crow replied. "But you mustn't askquestions," he complained. "You can't ask questions of a newspaper,you know."
"Well--what happened on Saturday?"
"There you go again!" cried Mr. Crow. "Another question! I declare, Idon't believe you ever took a newspaper before--did you?"
Brownie Beaver admitted that he never had.
"Then--" said Mr. Crow--"then don't interrupt me again, please! I'lltell you all the news I've brought. And when I've finished I'll stopbeing a newspaper and be myself for a while. And then we can talk. Butnot before!" he insisted.
Brownie Beaver nodded his head. He was afraid that if he said anotherword Mr. Crow would grow angry and fly away without telling him anymore news.
"On Saturday--this morning, to be exact"--said Mr. Crow, "there camenear being a bad accident. Jimmy Rabbit almost cut off FriskySquirrel's tail."
Mr. Crow paused and looked at Brownie Beaver out of the corner of hiseye. He knew that Brownie would want to know what prevented theaccident. But he was in no hurry to tell him.
For a few moments Brownie waited to hear the rest. But a few momentswas more than he could endure.
"Why didn't Jimmy cut off
his tail?" Brownie asked eagerly.
"There!" said Mr. Crow. "You've done just as I told you not to. So Ishall not tell you the rest until next Saturday.... You see, you havea few things to learn about taking a newspaper." And 'he would giveBrownie no more news that day. To be sure, he was willing to talk--butonly about things that had happened where Brownie Beaver lived.
VIII
MR. CROW IS UPSET
Brownie Beaver couldn't help feeling that Mr. Crow had not treated himvery well, because Mr. Crow hadn't told him all the news about FriskySquirrel's tail. He thought that maybe there were things about anewspaper that even Mr. Crow didn't know.
Another week had passed. Brownie knew that it had, because since Mr.Crow's last call he had cut a notch in a stick each day. And therewere now seven of them.
Late Saturday afternoon Mr. Crow came back again. He lighted on top ofBrownie's house and called "Paper!" down the chimney, just as he had aweek before.
Brownie Beaver came swimming up once more.
"Look here!" he said to Mr. Crow. "I don't believe yon know much aboutbeing a newspaper, do you?"
That surprised Mr. Crow.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"A newspaper--" said Brownie Beaver--"a newspaper is always left on, aperson's doorstep. I've talked with a good many people and not one ofthem ever heard of a paper being left on the roof."
Mr. Crow's face seemed to grow blacker than ever, he was so angry.
"How can anybody leave a newspaper on your doorstep, when the step'sunder water?" he growled.
Brownie Beaver did not answer that question, for he had something elseto say to Mr. Crow.
"I've talked with a good many people," he said once more, "and not oneof them ever heard of such rudeness as _shouting down a person'schimney_. If there was anybody asleep in the house, it wouldcertainly wake him; and if a person had a fire in his house, shoutingdown the chimney might put it out."
Mr. Crow looked rather foolish.
"I'll try to think of some way of leaving your newspaper that willsuit us both," he said. Then he _hemmed_ and began to tell Browniethe week's news.
"On Sunday," said Mr. Crow, "there was a freshet."
"I knew that before you did," said Brownie Beaver.
Mr. Crow looked disappointed.
"How?" he asked.
"Why, I live further up the river than you," said Brownie Beaver. "Andsince freshets always come _down_ a river, this one didn't reach youtill after it had passed me."
Something made Mr. Crow peevish.
"I don't believe you'd care to hear any more of my news," he said."You appear to know it already. Perhaps you'll be kind enough to tellme the sort of news you prefer to hear."
"Certainly!" Brownie Beaver replied. "Now, there's the weather! I'vetalked with a good many people and they all say that a good newspaperought to tell the weather for the next day."
Mr. Crow cocked an eye up at the sky.
"To-morrow will be fair," he said.
"I'm told that a good newspaper ought to tell a few jokes," BrownieBeaver continued.
But Mr. Crow sneered openly at that. "I'm a _newspaper_--not a_jest-book_," he announced.
"Then you refuse to tell any jokes, do you?" Brownie Beaver asked him.
"I certainly do!" Mr. Crow cried indignantly.
"Very well!" Brownie said. "I see I'll have to take some othernewspaper, though I must say I hate to change--after taking this oneso long."
"I hope you'll find one to suit you," Mr. Crow said in a cross voice.And he flew away without another word. He was terribly upset. You see,he had enjoyed being a newspaper, because it gave him an excuse forasking people the most inquisitive questions. He had intended all thatweek to ask Aunt Polly Woodchuck whether she wore a wig. But he hadn'tbeen able to find her at home. And now it was too late--for Mr. Crowwas a newspaper no longer.
As for Brownie Beaver, he succeeded in getting Jasper Jay to be hisnewspaper. Though Jasper told him many jokes, Brownie found that hecould not depend upon Jasper's news. And as a matter of fact, Jaspermade up most of it himself. He claimed that the _newest news_ wasthe best.
"That's why I invent it myself, right on the spot," he explained.
IX
THE SIGN ON THE TREE
On one of Brownie Beaver's long excursions down the stream he cameupon a tree to which a sign was nailed. Now, Brownie had never learnedto read. But he had heard that Uncle Jerry Chuck could tell what asign said. So Brownie asked a pleasant young fellow named FriskySquirrel if he would mind asking Uncle Jerry to come over to SwiftRiver on a matter of important business.
When Uncle Jerry Chuck appeared, Brownie Beaver said he was glad tosee him and that Uncle Jerry was looking very well.
"I've sent for you," said Brownie, "because I wanted you to see thissign. I can tell by the tracks under the tree that the sign was put uponly to-day. And I thought you ought to know about it at once, UncleJerry."
As soon as he heard that, Uncle Jerry Chuck stepped close to the treeand began to read the sign.
Now, there was something about Uncle Jerry's reading that BrownieBeaver had heard. People had told him that Uncle Jerry Chuck couldn'ttell what a sign said unless he read it _aloud_. That was why BrownieBeaver had sent for him, for Brownie knew Uncle Jerry well enough toguess that if anybody _asked_ Uncle Jerry to read the sign, UncleJerry would insist on being paid for his trouble.
But now Uncle Jerry was going to read the sign for himself. AndBrownie Beaver moved up beside him, to hear what he said.
The sign looked like this:
NO HUNTING
OR FISHING
ALOUD
Uncle Jerry repeated the words in a sing-song tone.
"I don't think much of that," he said. "It's bad enough to be huntedby people who make a noise, though you have _some_ chance of gettingaway then. But if they can't make a noise it will be much moredangerous for all of us forest-people."
If Tommy Fox hadn't happened to come along just then Uncle Jerrywouldn't have found out his mistake. But Tommy Fox soon set him right.As soon as he had talked a bit with Uncle Jerry he said:
"What the sign really means is that no hunting or fishing will bepermitted. That last word should be 'allowed,' instead of 'aloud.'It's spelled wrong," he explained.
"That's better!" Uncle Jerry cried. "Now there'll be no more huntingin the neighborhood and we'll all be quite safe.... Farmer Green iskinder than I supposed."
When Brownie Beaver heard that, he said good-by and started home atonce to tell the good news to all his friends. He had leaped into theriver and was swimming up-stream rapidly when Uncle Jerry called tohim to stop.
"There's something I want to say," Uncle Jerry shouted. "I think youought to pay me for reading the sign."
But Brownie Beaver shook his head.
"I didn't ask you to read the sign for me," he declared. "You read itfor _yourself_, Uncle Jerry. And besides, you didn't know what itmeant until Tommy Fox came along and told you.... If you want to knowwhat I think, I'll tell you. I think you ought to pay Tommy Foxsomething."
Uncle Jerry at once began to look worried. He said nothing more, butplunged out of sight into some bushes, as if he were afraid Tommy Foxmight come back and find him.
Brownie Beaver Returned to His Wood-cutting]
X
A HOLIDAY
There was great rejoicing in the little village in the pond whenBrownie Beaver returned with the good news that there would be no morehunting and fishing. And when old Grandaddy Beaver said that everybodyought to take a holiday to celebrate the occasion, all the villagerssaid it was a fine idea.
So they stopped working, for once, and began to plan the celebration.They thought that there ought to be swimming races and tree-fellingcontests. And Brownie Beaver said that after the holiday was over hewould suggest that someone be chosen to go down and thank Farmer Greenfor putting the notice on the tree.
The whole village agreed to Brownie's proposal and they voted to seewho
should be sent. Brownie Beaver himself passed his hat around totake up the votes. And it was quickly found that every vote was forBrownie Beaver. He had even voted for himself. But no one seemed tocare about that.
Then the swimming races began. There was a race under water, a racewith heads out of water--and another in which each person who tookpart had to stay beneath the surface as long as he could.
That last race caused some trouble. A young scamp called Slippery Samwon it. And many people thought that he had swum up inside his house,where he could get air, without being seen. But no one could prove it;so he won the race, just the same.
Next came the tree-felling contest. There were six, including BrownieBeaver, that took part in it. Grandaddy Beaver had picked out sixtrees of exactly the same size. Each person in the contest had to tryto bring his tree to the ground first. And that caused some trouble,too, because some claimed that their trees were of harder wood thanothers--and more difficult to gnaw--while others complained that thebark of their trees tasted very bitter, and of course that made theirtask unpleasant.
Those six trees, falling one after another, made such a racket thatold Mr. Crow heard the noise miles away and flew over to see what washappening.
After everybody crept out of his hiding-place some time afterward(everyone had to hide for a while, you know), there was Mr. Crowsitting upon one of the fallen trees.