CHAPTER I
EAST MOLESEY FAIR
Even Noailles, in his letters to his royal master, admits that theweather was glorious, and that the climatic conditions left nothing tobe desired.
Even Noailles! Noailles, who detested England as the land of humidatmospheres and ill-dressed women!
Renard, who was more of a diplomatist and kept his opinions on the fogsand wenches of Old England very much to himself, declaredenthusiastically in his letter to the Emperor Charles V, dated October2nd, 1553, that never had he seen the sky so blue, the sun so bright,nor the people of this barbarous island more merry than on the memorablefirst day of East Molesey Fair: as all who will, may read for themselvesin Vol. III of the Granvelle Papers:--
"_Aulcungs ne pourroient contempler ciel plus bleu soleil plusbrillianct ni peuple plus joieult._"
Yet what have we to do with the opinions of these noble ambassadors ofgreat and mighty foreign monarchs?
Our own chroniclers tell us that East Molesey Fair was the maddest,merriest, happiest time the goodly folk of the Thames Valley had hadwithin memory of the oldest inhabitant.
Was not good Queene Marye, beloved daughter of the great King HenryVIII, crowned at last? crowned in Westminster Abbey, as all her loyalsubjects had desired that she should be, despite His Grace ofNorthumberland and his treasonable faction, whom God and the Queene'smost lawful Majesty would punish all in good time?
In the meanwhile let us be joyful and make merry!
Such a motley crowd as never was seen. Here's a sheriff from LondonCity, pompous and dignified in dark doublet and hose, with scarletmantle and velvet cap; beside him his lady trips right merrily, herdamask kirtle held well above her high-heeled shoes, her floweredpaniers looped in the latest style, with just the suggestion of afarthingale beneath her robes, to give dignity to her figure and valueto the slimness of her waist.
Here a couple of solemn burgesses in velvet cloaks edged with fur, andrichly slashed doublets, are discussing the latest political events;whilst a group of Hampton merchants, more soberly clad, appraise thewares of a cutler lately hailed from Spain.
Then the dames and maidens with puffed paniers of blue or vivid scarlet,moving swiftly from booth to booth, babbling like so many gaily-plumagedbirds, squabbling with the vendors and chaffing the criers.
Here and there the gaudy uniform of one of the liveried Companies willattract the eye, anon the dark cloak and close black mask whichobviously hides the Court gallant.
Men of all ranks and of all stations have come out to East Moleseyto-day. Merchants, shopkeepers, workers, aldermen and servants, all withtheir womenkind, all with pouches more or less well filled, for whowould go to Molesey Fair but to spend money, to drink, to eat, or tomake merry?
Then there were the 'prentices!
They had no money to spend, save a copper or so to throw to amountebank, but nevertheless they contrived to enjoy themselves rightroyally.
Such imps of mischief!
No whipping-post to-day! Full licence for all their pranks and madcapjokes. The torment of all these worthy burgesses out on a holiday.
Oh! these 'prentices!
Hundreds of them out here this afternoon. They've come down from Esherand Hampton, Kingston and Westminster and London City, like so manybuzzing insects seeking whom they can annoy.
Now on the ground, suddenly tripping a pompous dame off her feet; anonin rows, some half-dozen of them, elbow to elbow, head foremost,charging the more serious crowd, and with a hoot and a yell scatteringit like a number of frightened goslings. Yet again at the confect booth,to the distraction of the vendors of honey-cakes, stealing sugar-plumsand damson cheese, fighting, quarrelling, screeching, their thin legsencased in hose of faded blue or grey worsted, their jerkins loose,their shirt sleeves flapping in the breeze, a cool note of white amidstthe dark-coloured gowns of the older men.
Heavens above! what a to-do!
A group of women be-coiffed, apparelled in best kirtles and modishshoes, were pressing round a booth where pantoufles, embroideredpouches, kerchiefs, and velveted paniers were laid out in temptingarray.
Just beyond, a number of buxom country wenches, with round red arms,showing bare to the grilling sun, and laughing eyes, aglow withill-concealed gourmandise, were gaping at a mighty display of pullets,hares, and pigeons, sides of roebuck and haunches of wild boar, readyspiked, trussed, and skewered, fit to tempt Her Majesty's Grace's ownroyal palate.
Sprigs of sweet-scented marjoram, thyme, and wool-blade tastefullydisposed, further enhanced the attractions of this succulent show. 'Twasenough to make the sweetest mouth water with anticipatory delight. Abrown-eyed, apple-cheeked wench in paniers of brilliant red wasunaffectedly licking her pretty lips.
"This way, mistress, this way!" shouted the vendor of these appetizingwares. A sturdy fellow, he, with ginger-coloured pate, and wielding along narrow-bladed knife in his fleshy hand. "This way! a haunch of buckfrom the royal venery! a hare from Her Liege Majesty's own chase! apullet from----"
"Nay, thou gorbellied knave!" responded a vendor of drugs and herbsclose by, whose stall was somewhat deserted, and whose temper wasobviously suffering--"Nay! an thou speakest the truth thou art a thief,but if not, then thou'rt a liar! In either case art fit for thehangman's rope!"
"This way, my masters! this way!" came in loud, stentorian cries from aneighbouring booth; "this way for Peter the juggler, the greatestconjurer the world has ever seen!"
"This way! I pray you, worthy sirs!" this from yet another place ofentertainment, "this way for John the tumbler!"
"Peter the juggler will swallow a cross-bow of steel before your veryeyes!" shouted one crier.
"John the tumbler will climb Saint Ethelburga's steeple without help ofrope or ladder," called the other.
"Peter will show you how to shoe a turkey, how to put salt on aswallow's tail, and how to have your cake and eat it!"
"John will sit on two stools without coming to the ground!"
"Marry! and ye both lie faster than my mule can trot!" came in hilariousaccents from one of the crowd.
"And Peter the juggler will show thee how to make thy mule trot fasterthan thou canst lie, friend," responded Peter's crier unabashed, "and amighty difficult task 'twill be, I'll warrant."
Laughing, joking, ogling like some fickle jade, the crowd passed frombooth to booth: now dropping a few coins in Peter the juggler's hat, nowwatching the antics of John the tumbler; anon looking on amazed, halfterrified at the evolutions of a gigantic brown bear, led by the nose bya vigorous knave in leather jerkin and cross-gartered hose, andaccompanied by a youngster who was blowing on a mighty sackbut until hischeeks looked nigh to bursting.
But adsheart! who shall tell of all the attractions which were set forthon that memorable day before the loyal subjects of good Queene Marye?
There were the trestles where one could play at ball and knuckle-bone,or chance and mumchance; another, where evens and odds and backgammonproved tempting. He who willed could tilt at Weekie, play quoits orlansquenet, at ball or at the billiards, or risk his coppers on suchgames as one-and-thirty, or at the pass ten; he might try his skill,too, at throwing the dart, or his strength at putting the stone.
There were mountebanks and quacksalvers, lapidaries at work, andastrologers in their tents. For twopence one could have a bout with theback-sword or the Spanish tuck, could watch the situations andconjunctions of the fixed stars and the planets, could play a game oftennis or pelitrigone, or be combed and curled, perfumed and trimmed soas to please a dainty mistress's eye.
And through it all the loud bang! bang! bang! of the big drums, thecriers proclaiming the qualities of their wares, the jarring notes ofthe sackbut and the allman flute, the screechy viol and the stridentnine-hole pipe, all playing against one another, each striving to drownthe other, and mingling with the laughter of the crowd, the yells of the'prentices, the babble of the women, formed a huge volume ofear-splitting cacophony which must have been heard from one end of thecoun
try to the other.
All was noise, merriment, and laughter, save in one spot--anout-of-the-way, half-hidden corner of the fair, where the sisterstreams, the Ember and the Mole, join hands for a space, meet but topart again, and whence the distant towers and cupolas of Hampton Courtappeared like those of a fairy palace floating in mid-ether, perchedhigh aloft in the shimmering haze of this hot late summer's afternoon.