CHAPTER XIX.
VANE ETHERAGE GREETS LORD VERNEY.
SO the great Lord Verney, with the flush of his brilliant successes inthe town-hall still upon his thin cheeks, and a countenance dry andsolemn, to which smiling came not easily, made the acquaintance of theMiss Etherages, and observed that the younger was "sweetly pretty, aboutit, and her elder sister appeared to him a particularly sensible youngwoman, and was, he understood, very useful in the charities, andthings." And he repeated to them in his formal way, his hope of seeingthem at Ware, and was as gracious as such a man can be, and instead ofattorneys and writs sent grouse and grapes to Hazelden.
And thus this narrow man, who did not easily forgive, expanded andforgave, and the secret of the subsidence of the quarrel, and of theChristian solution of the "difficulty," was simply Mr. Vane Etherage'shundred and thirty votes in the county.
What a blessing to these counties is representative government, withits attendant institution of the canvass! It is the one galvanism whichno material can resist. It melts every heart, and makes the coldest,hardest, and heaviest metals burst into beautiful flame. Granted that atstarting, the geniality, repentance, kindness, are so many arranthypocrisies; yet who can tell whether these repentances, in whitesheets, taper in hand, these offerings of birds and fruits, these smilesand compliments, and "Christian courtesies," may not end in improvingthe man who is compelled to act like a good fellow and accept his kindlycanons, and improve _him_ also with whom these better relations areestablished? As muscle is added to the limb, so strength is added to theparticular moral quality we exercise, and kindness is elicited, and menperhaps end by having some of the attributes which they began byaffecting. At all events, any recognition of the kindly and peaceablesocial philosophy of Christianity is, so far as it goes, good.
"What a sensible, nice, hospitable old man Lord Verney is; I think him_the_ most sensible and the _nicest man_ I _ever_ met," said MissCharity, in an enthusiasm which was quite genuine, for she was,honestly, no respecter of persons. "And young Mr. Verney certainlylooked very handsome, but I don't like him."
"Don't like him! _Why?_" said Agnes, looking up.
"Because I think him perfectly _odious_," replied Miss Charity.
Agnes was inured to Miss Charity's adjectives, and even the fierce flushthat accompanied some of them failed to alarm her.
"Well, I rather like him," she said, quietly.
"You _can't_ like him, Agnes. It is not a matter of opinion at all; it'sjust simply a matter of _fact_--and you _know_ that he is a most_worldly_, _selfish_, _cruel_, and _I_ think, _wicked_ young man, andyou need not talk about him, for he's _odious_. And here comes ThomasSedley again."
Agnes smiled a faint and bitter smile.
"And what do you think of _him_?" she asked.
"Thomas Sedley? Of course I like him; we all like him. Don't you?"answered Charity.
"Yes, pretty well--very well. I suppose he has faults, like otherpeople. He's good-humoured, selfish, of course--I fancy they all are.And papa likes him, I think; but really, Charrie, if you want to know, Idon't care if I never saw him again."
"Hush!"
"_Well!_ You've got rid of the Verneys, and here I am again," said Tom,approaching. "They are going up to Hazelden to see your father."
And so they were--up that pretty walk that passes the mills and ascendssteeply by the precipitous side of the wooded glen, so steep, that intwo places you have to mount by rude flights of steps--a mostsequestered glen, and utterly silent, except for the sound of themill-stream tinkling and crooning through the rocks below, unseenthrough the dense boughs and stems of the wood beneath.
If Lord Verney in his conciliatory condescension was grand, so was VaneEtherage on the occasion of receiving and forgiving him at Hazelden. Hehad considered and constructed a little speech, with some pomp oflanguage, florid and magnanimous. He had sat in his bath-chair for halfan hour at the little iron gate of the flower-garden of Hazelden, noinmate of which had ever seen him look, for a continuance, so sublimelyimportant, and indeed solemn, as he had done all that morning.
Vane Etherage had made his arrangements to receive Lord Verney with adignified deference. He was to be wheeled down the incline about twohundred yards, to "the bower," to meet the peer at that point, and twolusty fellows were to push him up by Lord Verney's side to the house,where wine and other comforts awaited him.
John Evans had been placed at the mill to signal to the people above atHazelden, by a musket-shot, the arrival of Lord Verney at that stage ofhis progress. The flagstaff and rigging on the green platform atHazelden were fluttering all over with all the flags that ever wereinvented, in honour of the gala.
Lord Verney ascended, leaning upon the arm of his nephew, with Mr.Larkin and the mayor for supporters, Captain Shrapnell, Doctor Lyster,and two or three other distinguished inhabitants of Cardyllian bringingup the rear.
Lord Verney carried his head high, and grew reserved and rather silentas they got on, and as they passed under the solemn shadow of the greattrees by the mill, an overloaded musket went off with a sound like acannon, as Lord Verney afterwards protested, close to the unsuspectingparty, and a loud and long whoop from John Evans completed the concertedsignal.
The Viscount actually jumped, and Cleve felt the shock of his armagainst his side.
"D---- you, John Evans, what the _devil_ are you _doing_?" exclaimedCaptain Shrapnell, who, turning from white to crimson, was the first ofthe party to recover his voice.
"Yes, sir, thank you--very good," said Evans, touching his hat, andsmiling incessantly with the incoherent volubility of Welsh politeness."A little bit of a squib, sir, if you please, for Captain SquireEtherage--very well, I thank you--to let him know Lord Verney--very muchobliged, sir--was at the mill--how do you do, sir?--and going up toHazelden, if you please, sir."
And the speech subsided in a little, gratified laugh of delightedpoliteness.
"You'd better not do that _again_, though," said the Captain, with amenacing wag of his head, and availing himself promptly of theopportunity of improving his relations with Lord Verney, he placedhimself by his side, and assured him that though he was an oldcampaigner, and had smelt powder in all parts of the world, he had neverheard such a report from a musket in all his travels and adventuresbefore; and hoped Lord Verney's hearing was not the worse of it. He hadknown a general officer deafened by a shot, and, by Jove! his own earswere singing with it still, accustomed as he was, by Jupiter! to suchthings.
His lordship, doing his best on the festive occasion, smileduncomfortably, and said,--
"Yes--thanks--ha, ha! I really thought it was a cannon, or thegas-works--about it."
And Shrapnell called back and said,--
"Don't you be coming on with that thing, John Evans--do you mind?--LordVerney's had quite enough of that. You'll excuse me, Lord Verney, Ithought you'd wish so much said," and Lord Verney bowed graciously.
The answering shot and cheer which were heard from above announced toJohn Evans that the explosion had been heard at Hazelden, and stillsmiling and touching his heart, he continued his volublecivilities--"Very good, sir, very much obliged, sir, very well, I thankyou; I hope you are very well, sir, very good indeed, sir," and soforth, till they were out of hearing.
The shot, indeed, was distinctly heard at the gay flagstaff up atHazelden, and the Admiral got under weigh, and proceeded down theincline charmingly till they had nearly reached the little platform atthe bower, where, like Christian in his progress, he was to make a halt.
But his plans at this point were disturbed. Hardly twenty yards beforethey reached it, one of his men let go, the drag upon the other suddenlyincreased, and resulted in a pull, which caused him to trip, andtripping as men while in motion downhill will, he butted forward,charging headlong, and finally tumbling on his face, he gave to therotatory throne of Mr. Etherage such an impulse as carried him quitepast the arbour, and launched him upon the steep descent of thegravel-walk with a speed every moment accelerated.
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br /> "Stop her!--ease her!--d---- you, Williams!" roared the Admiral, littleknowing how idle were his orders. The bath-chair had taken head, thepace became furious; the running footmen gave up pursuit in despair, andMr. Vane Etherage was obliged to concentrate his severest attention, ashe never did before, on the task of guiding his flying vehicle, a featwhich was happily favoured by the fact that the declivity presented noshort turns.
The sounds were heard below--a strange ring of wheels, and a powerfulvoice bawling, "Ease her! stop her!" and some stronger expressions.
"Can't be a carriage, about it, _here_?" exclaimed Lord Verney, haltingabruptly, and only restrained from skipping upon the side bank by asense of dignity.
"Never mind, Lord Verney! don't mind--I'll take care of you--I'm yourvanguard," exclaimed Captain Shrapnell, with a dare-devil gaiety,inspired by the certainty that it could not be a carriage, and theconviction that the adventure would prove nothing more than somechildren and nursery maids playing with a perambulator.
His feelings underwent a revulsion, however, when old Vane Etherage,enveloped in cloak, and shawls, his hat gone, and his long grizzled hairstreaming backward, with a wild countenance, and both hands working thedirecting handle, came swooping into sight, roaring, maniacally, "Easeher! back her!" and yawing frightfully in his descent upon them.
Captain Shrapnell, they say, turned pale at the spectacle; but he felthe must now go through with it, or for ever sacrifice thatcastle-in-the-air, of which the events of the day had suggested theground-plan and elevation.
"Good heaven! he'll be killed, about it!" exclaimed Lord Verney, peepingfrom behind a tree, with unusual energy; but whether he meant Shrapnell,or Etherage, or both, I don't know, and nobody in that moment ofsincerity minded much what he meant. I dare say a front-rank man in asquare at Waterloo did not feel before the gallop of the Cuirassiers asthe gallant Captain did before the charge of the large invalid who wasdescending upon him. All he meditated was a decent show of resistance,and as he had a stout walking-stick in his hand, something might be donewithout risking his bones. So, as the old gentleman thundered downward,roaring, "Keep her off--keep her clear," Shrapnell, roaring "_I_'m yourman!" nervously popped the end of his stick under the front wheel ofthe vehicle, himself skipping to one side, unhappily the wrong one, forthe chair at this check spun round, and the next spectacle was Mr. VaneEtherage and Captain Shrapnell, enveloped in cloaks and mufflers, androlling over and over in one another's arms, like athletes in mortalcombat, the Captain's fist being visible, as they rolled round, at Mr.Vane Etherage's back, with his walking-stick still clutched in it.
The chair was lying on its side, the gentlemen were separated, andCaptain Shrapnell jumped to his feet.
"Well, Lord Verney, I believe I did something there!" said the gallantCaptain, with the air of a man who has done his duty, and knows it.
"Done something! you've broke my neck, you lubber!" panted Mr. VaneEtherage, who, his legs not being available, had been placed sittingwith some cloaks about him, on the bank.
Shrapnell grinned and winked expressively, and confidentially whispered,"Jolly old fellow he is--no one minds the Admiral; we let him talk."
"Lord Verney," said his lordship, introducing himself with a look andair of polite concern.
"No, my name's Etherage," said the invalid, mistaking--he fancied thatJos. Larkin, who was expounding his views of the accident grandly toCleve Verney in the background, could not be less than a peer--"I liveup there, at Hazelden--devilish near being _killed here_, by that lubberthere. Why I was running at the rate of five-and-twenty knots an hour,if I was making _one_; and I remember it right well, sir, there's acheck down there, just before you come to the mill-stile, and the wallthere; and I'd have run my bows right into it, and not a bit the worse,sir, if that d---- fellow had just kept out of the--the--king's course,you know; and egad! I don't know now how it is--I suppose I'm smashed,sir."
"I hope not, sir. I am Lord Verney--about it; and it would pain meextremely to learn that any serious injuries, or--or--things--had beensustained, about it."
"I'll tell that in a moment," said Doctor Lyster, who was of the party,briskly.
So after a variety of twists and wrenches and pokes, Vane Etherage waspronounced sound and safe.
"I don't know how the devil I escaped!" exclaimed the invalid.
"By tumbling on _me_--very simply," replied Captain Shrapnell with aspirited laugh.
"You may set your mind at rest, Shrapnell," said the Doctor, walking upto him, with a congratulatory air. "He's all right, this time; but youhad better mind giving the old fellow any more rolls of that sort--thepitcher to the well, you know--and the next time might smash him."
"I'm more concerned about smashing myself, thank you. The next time hemay roll to the devil--and through whoever he pleases for me--knockeddown with that blackguard old chair, and that great hulking fellow ontop of me--all for trying to be of use, egad! when everyone of youfunked it--and not a soul asks about _my_ bones, egad! or my neckeither."
"Oh! come, Shrapnell, you're not setting up for an old dog yet. There'sa difference between you and Etherage," said the Doctor.
"I hope so," answered the Captain, sarcastically, "but civility iscivility all the world over; and I can tell you, another fellow wouldmake fuss enough about the pain I'm suffering."
It was found, further, that one wheel of the bath-chair wasdisorganised, and the smith must come from the town to get it to rights,and that Vane Etherage, who could as soon have walked up a rainbow as upthe acclivity to Hazelden, must bivouac for a while where he sat.
So there the visit was paid, and the exciting gala of that day closed,and the Viscount and his party marched down, with many friendsattendant, to the jetty, and embarked in the yacht for Ware.