Read The Three Perils of Man; or, War, Women, and Witchcraft, Vol. 3 (of 3) Page 5


  CHAPTER V.

  He can turn a man into a boy; A boy into an ass; He can change your gold into white moneye; Your white moneye into brass; He can turn our goodman to a beast With hoof, but, an' with horn, And chap the goodwife in her cheer, This little John Barleycorn.

  _Old Song._

  The plan of our great necromancer was no other than that of pushinground the wine, and other strong intoxicating liquors, to the utmostextremity; and it is well known that these stimulating beverages havecharms that no warrior, or other person accustomed to violentexertions, can withstand, after indulging in them to a certain extent.The mirth and argument, or rather the bragg of weir, grew firstobstreperous, afterwards boisterous and unruly, and several of the mengot up and strode the hall with drawn swords, without being able totell with whom they were offended or going to fight. Neither theMaster nor the abbot discouraged this turmoil, but pushed round theliquor, till some of the most intimate friends and associates of theparty, in the extravagance of intoxication, actually wounded oneanother, and afterwards blubbered, like children, for vexation. Whilethey were all in this state of unnatural elevation, father Lawrencegot up, and addressed himself to the party, for the first time. Herepresented to them, by striking metaphors, the uncertainty and toilof the warrior's life; and requested all such of them as loved ease,freedom, and independence, to become inmates of his habitation; andduring the time of their noviciates, he promised them every goodthing. Several of them pretended to snap at the proffer, some on onecondition, some on another; but when he presented a scroll ofparchment, written in red characters, for their marks or signatures,no one would sign and seal, save Tam Craik, who put his mark to itthree times with uncommon avidity, on the positive condition that hewas to have as much fat flesh as he could eat for the first threeyears, at all times that he chose, by day or by night.

  When matters were at this pass, and our brave yeomen could withdifficulty rise to their feet, they heard a chorus of sweet andmelodious music approaching, which still drew nearer and nearer. Thiswas a treat they little expected in such an habitation; but how muchgreater was their surprise, when the hall-door was thrown open, andthere were ushered in thirty of the most lovely maidens that the eyesof men had ever beheld. They seemed, too, to be all of noble lineage,for they were dressed like eastern princesses, rustling in theirsilks, and covered over with dazzling gems. The Master welcomed themwith stately courtesy, apologizing for the state of his castle, andthe necessity they would be under of sitting down and sharing thefeast with warriors, who, however, he assured them were all gallantgentlemen, of his own kin, and some of them of his own name. Thesplendid dames answered, that nothing on earth would give them somuch delight as to share the feast with gentlemen and warriors, thenatural protectors of their helpless sex, to whom it should be theirprincipal aim to pay all manner of deference.

  As soon as the door was opened, our brave yeomen, with the profoundrespect that men of their boisterous occupation always pay to femalebeauty and rare accomplishments, started all to their feet, and madetheir obeisance. But the worst concern for them was, that they couldnot stand on their feet. Some of them propped themselves on the hiltsof their sheathed swords, leaning the points backward against thewall. Others kept a sly hold of the buff-belt of the comrade next tohim; and a few, of whom the poet was one, and Tam another, lost theirbalance, and fell back over the benches, showing the noble dames thesoles of their sandals. All was silence and restraint, and a view ofno group could be more amusing; for though our heroes were hardly ableto behave themselves with the utmost propriety, yet they were allendeavouring to do it; some keeping their mouths close shut, that nomisbecoming word might possibly escape from their lips; some turningup their white faces, manifesting evident symptoms of sickness, andsome unable to refrain their joy at this grand addition to theirparty.

  The first breaking up of the conversation was likewise extremelycurious; but it was begun in so many corners about the same time, itis impossible to detail it all. Will Martin, with a lisping unbowsometongue, addressed the one next him to the following effect.

  "Fine evening this, noble dame."

  "Do you account this so very fine an evening, gallant knight?"

  "Hem, hem; glorious roads too; most noble lady,--paced allwith--marble, you know. Hem! Came you by the marble path, fair lady?Hem! hem!"

  "Not by the marble path, most courteous knight, but on one ofalabaster, bordered with emeralds, rubies, and diamonds you know. Hem!hem!"

  "May all the powers--Hem--powers of beauty, you know--Ay--hem! andlove. Hem! What was I about to say?"

  "Could not guess, knight."

  "That smile is so sweet. Will such an--hem!--such an angeliccreature,--really con--descend to converse familiarly with a plain,homely warrior."

  "Your notice does me far too much honour, worthy knight." And sosaying she put the tip of her palm gently on the warrior's rough hand.Intoxicated as Will was with wine, he was petrified with astonishmentand delight, and could not find terms to express his gratitude andadoration. Many others were likewise by the same time testifying, bytheir bright and exulting looks, the joy and delight they wereexperiencing in the conversation of those most beautiful and refinedof all earthly objects. Tam Craik beheld, or thought he beheld, hislovely Kell among them, blooming in tenfold loveliness. He was sodrunk that he could not articulate one syllable; but he fixed his longcoulter-nose and grey eyes steadily in the direction of her face, andput his hand below the table and scratched.

  Still the cup and the cates circulated without any respite. The Masterand the abbot both called them round and round; and though the lovelyand high-born dames tasted sparingly, nevertheless the circumstance oftheir having touched the cup with their lips was sufficient to inducethe enamoured warriors to drink to them in healths deep and dangerous.Reason had long been tottering on her throne with the best of them,but these amorous draughts of homage overthrew her completely, andlaid her grovelling in the dust. The heroes fell from their seatsfirst by ones, but ere the last in threes and fours. Still thecourteous and sympathetic beauties tried to administer comfort andassistance to their _natural protectors_, by holding up their heads,and chafing their temples; but, in spite of all they could do, totaloblivion of passing events ensued to the whole of our incautioustroopers.

  The next morning presented a scene in the great hall of Aikwood,which, if it cannot be described, neither can it ever be conceived.There lay our troop of gallant yeomen, as good as ever heaved buckler,scattered over the floor; some in corners, some below benches, everyone of their eyes sealed in profound slumber though the day was welladvanced, and every one having an inamorata in his arms, or clingingclose to him of her own accord. At a given signal, the great bell ofthe castle was rung with a knell that might have wakened the dead. Thesleepers raised their drowsy and aching heads all at the same time;and, as was natural, every one turned his eyes first toward thepartner of his slumbers. Their sensations may be in some measureconceived, when, instead of the youthful, blooming, angelic beings,whom they had seen over-night, there lay a group of the most horriblehags that ever opened eyes on the light of day. Instead of the light,flowing, and curled hair, there hung portions of grey dishevelledlocks. Instead of the virgin bloom of the cheek, and the brilliantenamel of the eye, all was rheum, haggardness, and deformity. Somehad two or three long pitted teeth, of the colour of amber; some hadnone. Their lovely mouths were adorned with curled and silverymustachios; and their fair necks were shrivelled and seriated like thebark of a pine-tree. Instead of the rustling silks and dazzlingjewels, they were all clothed in noisome rags; and, to crown thehorror of our benumbed and degraded Bacchanalians, every one of thewitches had her eyes fixed on her partner, gleaming with hellishdelight at the state to which they had reduced themselves, and thehorrors of their feelings. The poet, and two or three others, fellinto convulsions; and all of them turned away groaning, and hid theirfaces from these objects of abhorrence.

  The Master came w
ith his enchanted liquor once more, and sprinkled itover the prostrate and humbled group, who were now in that state ofmental agony that rendered them indifferent to aught that could occur;and, as he sprinkled them, he said to himself, "I now have the powerover you, though you had been seven times anointed in holy church."

  "Aye, seven times seven," said a tremendous voice; and the words werefollowed by a laugh that shook the vault of the hall, which laugh wasechoed by three or four accordant voices, and afterwards by all thewitches in the apartment. The astounded warriors again raised theirheads, and beheld their friend, the abbot, stalking along and alongthe hall in the midst of them in majesty sublime. He wore the samesable and flowing robes, and the same mitre, that he did on thepreceding day; but he was now striding openly in his own character,with his legs shagged and hairy, shaped like those of a goat, and hisfeet cloven into two distinct and horny hoofs. The three attendantswere there also, but they were no more three monks, but the identical,Prig, Prim, and Pricker, the infernal pages of Master Michael Scott.In short, our yeomen discovered, to their utter despair, that they hadbeen riding, eating, and drinking, hand to fist, with the devil in_propria persona_.

  Before giving any of them time to recover their senses, he strode upto Dan Chisholm, and stooping over him with exultation, he said, "Didnot I tell you, Christian droich, when I bayed you at the mill, that Iwould be before hand with you at Melrose, and have not I kept myword?" As he said these words, Dan once more saw down his throat, andbeheld the burning flame within. Half-dead with fright, he threwhimself back on the floor, and held up one foot and one hand, as hislast inefficient defence, on which his infernal Majesty vomited such atorrent of sparkling flame out upon him and his forlorn partners, thatthey lost all hope of ever again moving from the place where theywere.

  "Take heart, my brave fellows," said the Master. "This great primate,you see, is no other than the prince of the power of the air, thegreat controller of the mighty elements, who has honoured us with hiscompany. You are now in his power, and lie at his mercy; but he ismore of a gentleman than he is generally represented to be, and willscorn to take advantage of a few poor insignificant creatures, whocall themselves Christians, of whose company he is sure before hewants it. He knows you will fume, and bully, and fight for a few shortyears, sending one another home to his ample mansions in myriadsbefore your time. Both he and I would scorn to take farther advantageof beings so blind ignorant, and inconsistent, than suits our ownamusement. We only love to mock you, show you your own littleness, andhow easy a prey you would be, were there a being in the universe thatwatched for ever over your destruction. Cheer up, gallant soldiers!and now for the long-waited developement of mighty moment. I will showyou the manner, and very mode, by which your captain must only hope tosucceed in his great enterprise."

  He then touched every one of them with the divining-rod that was inhis hand, pronouncing at the same time some mystic words, which noneof them comprehended. While he was thus occupied, the witches rushedfrom the hall, and as soon as he had touched the hindmost, he himselfalso made his escape, and looked from a crevice of an inner wall. Theenchantment began immediately to take effect; the warriors rolledabout on the floor in strong convulsions, bellowing and flouncing,trying always to run on all-four, and then tumbling over again. Atlength their noses and chins began to grow forward in hideousdisproportion, till their heads began to assume something of the formsof the heads of beasts, and liker to those of calves than any thingselse. The laughter that pealed from loop-hole, crevice, and barbican,was, at this eventual period, excessive. The devil, the three wickedspirits, the great enchanter, and his conventicle of witches, seemedall to be in convulsions at witnessing how the metamorphosed championsshook their long heads, looked at one another, and tried to speak. Howtheir language changed from long-drawn words, half pronounced, todownright confused bellowings; and how their forms, in the space of afew minutes, gradually assumed those of as many mighty and ferociousbulls.

  "I have now given you your own proper shapes, and showed you in framessuited to your natures," cried the Master, from a crevice.

  "Pass forth, and be gone; and carry my respects to your captain."

  Then there was a combined bellow of rage arose in the hall that wouldhave rent any castle to the top but that of Aikwood; and benches,boards, and couches, flew about in flinders on the horns of thefurious monsters. Forthwith they rushed out into the great court, andfrom that to the side of the hill, bellowing, and tearing up theground with hoof and horn, till the country was alarmed for many milesround; and, believing that all hell was broke loose from the castle ofAikwood that day, they betook them to their heels, and fled away outof sight and out of hearing.

  The outrageous drove looked back as they ascended the brae to theeastward of the castle, and saw the devil and the great warlock,standing on the topmost tower, laughing at them; the former appearingof a size and dimensions equal to those of another castle. The grandmitre that he wore on his head, shaped like a crescent to conceal hishorns, now moved like a cornuted black cloud amid the firmament; hiseyes glimmered like two of the reddest of the stars of heaven; and thesceptre that he waved in his right hand was like a tremendous pine allin flame, or rather like a burning aerial meteor. Our transformedwarriors gallopped away in terror as fast as cloven hoofs could carrythem, with one mighty bison, that had once been Charlie Scott, fara-head of all the rest; for, notwithstanding of all that Charlie hadseen and heard in favours of the devil, he felt as much affrighted forhim as ever, degraded as he was in form. No wonder was it that ourtumultuous group was terrified and galloped off; for at the same timethat they saw Satan stretching out his sceptre in his right hand, heheld out Tam Craik by the nape of the neck in his left, while the poorfellow was seen sprawling and spurning the air over an unfathomedvoid. When the arch-fiend made his retreat from among the warriorsthat morning, in the midst of the confusion he carried Tam off withhim, according to compact--fed him for some time on animal food of therichest quality, which, never once satisfying him, the devil grewweary of such a voracious cur, and twisted his neck about.

  The drove was no sooner out of sight, than the Master said to one ofhis pages, "Pricker, assume thou the habit that thou hadst yester-eve;mount, and ride after these wild cattle, and deliver them over to thecharge of their dolt of a confessor. He will try to rescue them fromtheir present degraded and brutal forms, but he will not be able.Spirit, thou sawest a part of the charms performed. Give him theproper directions how to find it out before leaving him. It bootsnothing offending my kinsman, the Warden."

  Pricker mounted his horse, and rode straight for the fords ofHowden-burn, where he knew the friar was awaiting his companions, andmeant to have driven them all up before him to the cottage door, wherethe friar and his fair ward sojourned, and there delivered them overto the care of these two, as a present of fine beeves from the greatMaster to Sir Ringan Redhough. But before the infernal page overtookthem they were all at the door of the cottage, bellowing and kneeling,and trying in vain to make their hard case known to the friar.

  Pricker came up, and saluted the friar, who, observing his clericalhabit, returned the compliment in a hurried and careless manner--forhe was confounded by the arrival of so many mad bulls.

  "Reverend brother mine," said the page, "I deliver over into thycharge this herd of beautiful cattle, the best breed that ever roamedthe forests of Caledon. They are a present from Master Michael Scottto his cousin the Warden of the middle marches. See that you deliverthem safe and sound."

  "Lo, thou seest with thine eyes, and thou also hearest with the hearingof the ear," said the friar, "that the creatures are outrageous, andnot to be governed by the hand of a single man. And thinkest thou abrother of the holy order of Benedict would take a goad in his hand,and ride forth after these bulls of Bashan? Lo, would they not evenrun headlong upon my mule, and thrust their horns into his side? Thyservant also, and this maiden, would they tread under their feet? Goto! Thou speakest as one lacking understanding."

>   "I give them in charge to thee, as desired by one with whom it isdangerous to contend," said the page; "and alongst with them thisrequest, that your captain will make away with them as quickly aspossible for food to his army."

  At these words of the apparent sacristan there was such a roaring andbellowing commenced among the herd, that, for the first time, thefriar began to suspect some horrid enchantment, but wist not what todread. The drove turned round their heads to the speaker,--shook themin disapproval of what he had said, and joined in such a ferociousroar against him, that it was not like ought the friar had everwitnessed among the brute creation before. The metamorphosed troopers,however, knew too well now who Pricker was to attack him, but,turning again round, they came in a row, and kneeled around the friar,looking at him with the most supplicating expressions of countenancethat ever cattle put on."

  "Lo, methinks I have looked upon these wild beasts of the forest insome of the days that are past," said the friar, "and that theircountenances are not entirely unknown to me; though when, or in whatplace, in that thing my memory upholdeth me not. I pray thee, brother,to declare unto thy servant where thou camest by these beasts of mineacquaintance. If thou art a follower of the worthy Father Lawrence,thou must speak the truth.--Tell me, art thou a Christian?"

  The bulls gave not the infernal page time to reply. They turned about,shook their heads, and tossed the earth at him with their horns,raising at the same time such an outcry of rage against him that thefriar himself was afraid, and retreated within the door of thecottage; and he thought that, amid their confused bellowings, hecould distinguish as it were these words pronounced, "He a Christian!Away with him! Away with him!"

  "Lo, what am I to understand by all this?" said the friar.

  "Come near unto me, thou man of mystery, that comest like one of thechildren of Esau, with thy cattle and thy herds, and tell unto thyservant what are these?"

  Pricker would not, however, come nigh the friar, but still kept hisdistance; for against the friar's spiritual armour he durst notengage; but he called out to him, in mockery, "I then declare untothee, O thou great magician, who camest to cope with the prince of allmagicians, Master Michael Scott, that these are thy master's yeomenwhom thou leftest with him yesterday. Now, what sayest thou? Hast thouever witnessed power like this?"

  The friar lifted up his eyes to heaven, and tears fell down on hisdark beard. "O wretched man that I am!" cried he, "why did I leave mychildren in the lion's den? yea, even in the den of the great lion.Wo is me, that this breach hath been made among the followers of myMaster! But there is One that can yet controul all the powers ofdarkness, and to Him alone must I apply without delay."

  The friar went instantly to his devotions, and performed many rites ofa nature too sacred to be here minutely described; yet, after all hisexorcisms, the men could not regain their natural shapes, but lay androlled about on the valley in awful convulsions. The hellish page, whohad kept far aloof during the time of the friar's sacred appeal, nowcame galloping near to enjoy the convulsions of the herd, and thegrief and astonishment of the friar; and after mocking for some time,in obedience to the great wizard's command, he called to thefriar, and said, "I see he that brought about this wonderfulmetamorphosis,--for which you shall one day be grateful,--can onlyeffect the counter-charm. Look into the manes on their foreheads, andlook narrowly;" and having said these words, he darted off towardsAikwood with the speed of lightning.

  The friar did as this flying horseman had directed, and searching thelong curled mane between the horns of the first monster that came tohis hand, he there found stitched a small scroll of parchment, neatlyrolled up, and written in blood. Then he caused them to bring himfire, in which he burnt it, and presently there stood up at hishand one of Sir Ringan Redhough's warriors, in all his arms andaccoutrements as he first arrived at the castle of Aikwood. "By thelife of Pharaoh!" cried the friar, "surely this excelleth all that Ibeheld heretofore!"

  The spell was now quickly dissolved; but no pen can do any justice tothe feelings of our amazed troopers, as they again strode the green intheir own forms and vigour, embracing the friar, and thanking him astheir deliverer. They returned back over the ridge, not without somedreadful apprehensions, to the mill of Aikwood for their horses, butwent no more in view of the portentous castle. They found their horsesat good feed; and whenever Charlie saw Corby's skin, that glitteredlike the plumes of the raven, he cried, "Aha, Corby lad, ye haenawantit either meat or drink, ye rascal! Od ye hae fared better thanyour master, ye cock-luggit glooming thief; stall up, ye dog, till Icaparison you, and then let us bound for the border."

  But the most curious and least suspected of all the circumstancesattending the horses was, that Dan Chisholm's horse and those of histhree companions, that they left stabled in the deep dell aboveLindean, were all found standing at the mill among the rest. Themiller could give no farther account about them, than that a ladbrought them all tied to one another's tails, and said they belongedto four of the baron of Mountcomyn's men that were gone to Aikwood."By the Lord Soules," cried Dan, "then it is true that Master MichaelScott said of the devil being more of a gentleman than he had beengenerally represented. For all the pranks he has played us, I'll thinkthe better of him for this the longest day I have to live. What sayyou to this, friend Yardbire?"

  "I shall be twenty miles off Aikwood at least afore I speak anothersentence about either him or some others that I ken o.' Mercy on us!poor Tam Craik! What an end he has made wi' his fat bacon! Hech, butit be a despisable thing to rin open mouth to the--I'll no mentionwhae--for their greed o' meat. Some may hae gotten nae mair than whatthey deserved; but as for sachless Gibbie Jordan, he has been righthardly dealt wi'. My heart's unco wae for the poor laird, and I thinksomething should be done to recover him."

  "Something _shall_ be done for him," said the friar, and that of suchmomentous consequence, that, if his own iniquities keep him not inbondage, all the powers of the evil one shall be unequal to the task."

  After all these horrid perils of weird women and witchcraft thusmiraculously overcome, our troop rode straight on to the camp of theWarden, and found him in the vicinity of Wooller, having come intothose parts to counteract the rising about Berwick in behalf of theEnglish garrison. And the time being at hand on which he must eitherdo or not do, either join with heart and hand in the cause of theDouglas, or leave him to stand or fall by himself, and abide by theconsequences--his impatience for the return of his men from Aikwoodcastle had been commensurate with the importance that he attached totheir mission. But when they informed him of all the wonders they hadwitnessed, and the transmutations they had seen and undergone--how thewarlock and his spirits had raised the tempests, deluged the plains,levelled the forests, and cleft asunder the everlasting mountains, thebaron was like one in a trance. It was long before they could makethemselves accredited, or impress him with any other idea than that itwas a story made up to astonish him. With the feats performed by thefriar, he was particularly pleased, and from that time forth paid himmore honour than he had ever been seen pay to man. But the precisemeaning of the destiny, read for him out of the book of fate, puzzledand interested him most of all. It was dark and full of intricacies;and it was not till after long consultation with wise men, as well aswomen, that any thing like a guess could be formed of its tendency. Bymaking words and actions to coalesce, a mode of procedure was at thelast pitched on as the only one reconcileable with the predictions.This mode will eventually appear without giving the detail at present,and the reader will then be better able to judge whether or not theRedhough and his sages understood the Master's signs and injunctionsproperly.