Sweet Mary, why wouldn’t he give up? She was tempted to tell him she wanted only to escape from this strange pain that continued to grow the longer she stayed with him. “You don’t owe me anything,” she repeated. “Why won’t you listen to me?”
“Because I’m having uncomfortable twinges of conscience. I guarantee it doesn’t happen often.” He turned from spreading her clothes out before the stove. “But then, I’ve never been in this particular situation before. First I cause a woman to be knifed, then I take her innocence. It’s a bit much even for me.”
“I wasn’t innocent.”
“The hell you weren’t. Growing up in a whorehouse doesn’t make you a whore.”
She stiffened. “I know that,” she said fiercely. “I’ll never be like her.”
“Who?”
She could have bitten her tongue. “My mother.”
“And she was a whore?”
“Yes, but I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Oh no, you’re not closing me out again. We’ve come too far for that. If I’d probed a little deeper before, I wouldn’t be in this predicament. Why does the idea of being like your mother frighten you?”
“Living like that … it’s a nightmare. She became a slave. I’ll never be a slave. I’ll never let anyone do that to me.”
“If you have such a revulsion for whorehouses, why did you go to Zabrie’s?” He smiled grimly. “Since I know it was definitely not for the purpose I originally envisioned.”
She looked down at the carpet. “I had business with her.”
“Railroad business?”
“No.”
“Kartauk?”
Her head snapped up. “What do you know about Kartauk?”
“More than I did an hour ago. I know he’s not your lover either.”
“Of course he’s not.” Her tone was abstracted as she stared warily at him. “Where did you hear about him?”
“Abdar.” As he saw her go rigid with shock, he added roughly. “Don’t look at me like that. If I was still a threat to you, do you think I’d be talking about Kartauk or Abdar? The game’s changed, and I’ll have to find some other way to get what I want.”
“And what do you want?”
“An audience with the maharajah and pressure brought to bear to influence him in the direction I want him to go.” He paused. “That’s what Abdar promised me in return for finding and turning Kartauk over to him.”
“And you were going to do it?” she whispered.
“I hadn’t made a firm decision. It was a possibility.”
“You went to a great deal of trouble just for a possibility.” She shook her head uncomprehendingly. “How could you? He’s a monster.”
“I suspected as much, but then, we’ve already discussed my lack of scruples. I don’t believe we have to probe any further into my iniquities.”
Her shock was rapidly being replaced by anger. “And is that why you brought me here? Did Abdar tell you to—”
“Don’t be foolish. Abdar has nothing to do with this.”
She suddenly remembered something. “Not even our meeting at Zabrie’s? Was that man you killed in the alley a part of your plan?”
“I hate to disappoint you, but I don’t kill without good reason.” He frowned. “His presence there was none of my doing, but Pachtal’s arrival was a little too convenient for my taste. I’ve been wondering—where do you think you’re going?”
“I’m leaving.” She threw the wrap away and jerked on her damp shirt. “Providing you haven’t stationed Pachtal or one of his men outside to stop me.”
“No Pachtal. No Abdar,” he said curtly. “That’s over. I know I’ve hurt you, but try to think reasonably.”
She whirled on him. “You haven’t hurt me. I don’t let men like you and Abdar hurt me.” She pulled on her trousers and snatched up her belt. “And reason dictates I’d be very stupid to trust you again.”
“You never trusted me. You let me take you because it gave you pleasure, not because you had faith in my honesty.” He held up his hand as she started to speak. “And I never expected anything else. You’d be a lunatic to trust me. Now that we’ve established that truth, let’s get on with the matter at hand. Abdar wants Kartauk. You don’t want him to find him. I assume that means you also want him out of Kasanpore?”
She didn’t answer.
He shrugged. “Very well, I’ll get your Kartauk out of Kasanpore and find a place for him where he’ll be safe from Abdar. Then we’re quits, all debts paid.”
“What?”
“You heard me. I’m certainly not going to repeat this idiocy.” He began to dress. “Christ, I can’t believe I said it to begin with.”
“Neither can I. Nor that you’d think I’d believe you.”
“You want proof that I’m not in Abdar’s pocket?” He pulled on his right boot. “Li Sung.”
She went still. “What about Li Sung?”
“He’s not in Narinth. He paid a visit to your supply yard night before last and departed with a knapsack you’d left earlier. I assume he was taking it to Kartauk. Ian followed him but lost him in the bazaar.”
“Your brother is helping Abdar too?”
“My brother is helping me … with the greatest reluctance.” He pulled on his other boot. “I didn’t have to tell you any of this, you know. I could have staked out the supply yard myself and waited until Li Sung came back. There’s a good chance I’d have found Kartauk. I’m better at stalking prey than Ian.”
“Yes, I imagine you are. You have the hunter’s instinct.”
He ignored the bitterness in her tone. “I’m not ashamed to admit to that instinct. It’s helped me to survive any number of times. It can help me save your Kartauk.”
“What if I don’t want your help?”
He said curtly, “You’ve got it anyway. I want this debt paid and out of my way.”
“How honorable.”
“I’m not honorable, but I’m usually honest.” His lips thinned. “But with you something went wrong and I don’t like it.”
“You said that before.”
“It’s true. It’s dangerous when a man starts lying to himself.”
“It’s me you lied to.”
“No, I just didn’t tell you the entire truth. But I lied to myself. I was in a fever to have you and so I convinced myself…. I’m not stupid and I know people.” He smiled crookedly. “But I never explored any path that would lead me where I didn’t want to go. I was careful never to dig very deep into why you went to Zabrie’s. You threw out all kinds of signals you weren’t what I wanted you to be, but I didn’t let myself believe them. Hell, even Ian told me I was seeing what I wanted to see.”
“Are you finished?”
“Almost. Abdar has to be watching my progress with you with interest. If you let me help you, we’ll get Kartauk out of Kasanpore, but if you send me on my way, Abdar will think I’ve failed and probably initiate a move himself.” He smiled. “Can you afford the time to contend with Abdar with your railroad to finish?”
“Better than I can afford to trust a man who might betray me.”
“I won’t betray you. You’ll realize that if you look clearly at me and judge me as I am. Can you do that, Jane?”
Sweet Mary, the man was impossible. He had dominated her body until she had felt as possessed as a concubine in the maharajah’s harem and then turned around and told her he had used her. How did he expect her to think coherently through this haze of hurt and anger?
“I don’t know.” She smiled bitterly. “But I agree you’ve made sure I know exactly what you are.” She turned on her heel and strode out of the railway car.
“I received word the rails will arrive tomorrow.” Patrick smiled triumphantly at Jane over the dinner table. “Right on time. I told you everything would be fine.”
“You’ll have to supervise the transfer from the dock to the supply yard. I can’t spare the time away from the site. We laid less than a mile of track
today.”
Patrick nodded understandingly. “The monsoon. Poor darlin’, my heart fair ached for you when you came in this evening.”
Her heart had ached too, after those blunt revelations from Ruel in the railroad car that afternoon. No, it wasn’t her heart, she assured herself quickly, it was her pride that had been stung. “Maybe it will go faster tomorrow.”
“Not likely.” Patrick poured another whiskey. “I’ve been thinking about what you said about my place being at the site. You’re right, Jane. I’ve been a selfish bastard, but I’m going to mend my ways.”
“It doesn’t matter,” she said dully. “The job is almost finished now.”
“And it’s fine work you’ve done too.” He sipped the whiskey. “But these monsoons are a nasty business, and I’m not having you out there in that rain and mud. You could fall ill again. Give me one more day to transfer the rails, and then I’ll take over on the site and you can stay home and take the rest you deserve.”
She slowly raised her head to look at him. He sounded as if he meant it, but she mustn’t get her hopes up. He had made promises before and they had come to naught. “It would help if you’d come,” she said cautiously.
“Then it’s done.” He beamed. “And in nine days we’ll finish up the job and bid his high muckity-muck and this blasted country farewell.”
“I don’t need a rest. With both of us at the site the work will go fast—”
“Nonsense. I can handle it myself. If you want to be helpful, you can take on those pesky accounts in the top desk drawer. They haven’t been done since Li Sung’s been gone.”
She was beginning to believe him. Hope leapt within her as she realized that without the burden of supervising the work on the site, she could spare the time to find a way to get Kartauk out of Kasanpore. “You really mean it?”
For an instant a flicker of compunction crossed Patrick’s face. He leaned forward and covered her hand with his. “I really do. God knows, it’s time I did some of the work around here. Sometimes I wonder why you stay with me.”
Because you’re my father, she wanted to tell him. Because someday, if she proved she was worthy of it, he would tell her so.
She knew she couldn’t say those words yet, but hope was growing stronger, brighter. “I made you a promise, didn’t I?” She threaded her fingers through his. “And it will be good to rest a bit. Thank you, Patrick.”
He withdrew his hand and reached for his glass. “Speaking of rest, you’d better get on to bed. You have one more day of dealing with that muddle before I take over.”
“You’re right, I’ll do that.” She stood up and moved toward her bedroom. “Good night, Patrick.”
Now that she had the opportunity, how was she going to get Kartauk out of Kasanpore?
Ruel. She instantly rejected the thought and then brought it back and examined it. He had promised her not only escape for Kartauk but to find a sanctuary for him. She could find a way to the first requirement but had no means to furnish him a permanent safe haven. No one could doubt Ruel was a forceful, clever man and would probably be a match for Abdar. His words in the railway car had made sense and had also seemed sincere. His brother was an honorable man and believed in Ruel’s basic integrity.
Dear God, she didn’t want to be involved with Ruel MacClaren again. She wanted only to be quit of him. She had been berating herself for her foolishness since the moment she had left him. She had told him it had been her choice, but she had yielded him something she had never given before and she felt hurt and betrayed. Her body still ached from his possession and her emotions were raw as an open wound. The mere idea of seeing him again frightened and angered her.
Frightened? It was ridiculous to fear him now that she was aware of how he had manipulated her. She had a mind as well as a body and from now on would make certain her mind was fully in control. He was no longer an enigma, and now the only decision she must make was whether she could trust Ruel enough to use him as he had used her.
Two hours later Ruel opened the door of his hotel room in answer to a brusque knock. Jane stood in the hall.
“What a pleasant surprise. Would you care to come in?”
“No,” she said coldly. “I just came to tell you Patrick is taking over the site day after tomorrow which leaves me free to try to work on getting Kartauk out of Kasanpore. Be sure to be at the site on time tomorrow. We don’t want Abdar to suspect anything is wrong.”
He became still. “Then I take it this means you’re going to accept my help?”
“Why not? As you said, it’s not often you offer it.”
“Quite true.” He paused. “You don’t have to worry, Jane. I’m capable of doing any number of self-serving things, but you can be sure of two things about me. I always take revenge for any injury done me and I never break my word.”
“I will worry but I’ll be watching you.” She turned and strode back down the hall toward the steps. “And getting Kartauk out of Kasanpore is worth the risk.”
“Wait. How did you get here?”
“What difference does that make?” she asked impatiently. “I walked. I wasn’t about to take Bedelia out in this weather again.” She disappeared around the landing.
He was tempted to follow her and offer to escort her back to the bungalow, but he knew she would reject his protection. She distrusted him and perhaps, though she wouldn’t admit it, even feared him. A fear that was more justified than she realized, he thought grimly. He had expected his lust to abate after the afternoon, but having her had only whetted his appetite. The moment he had opened the door and seen her tonight he had hardened.
She had probably reached the street now and was starting toward the outskirts of Kasanpore.
There had been no sign of Abdar and Pachtal in the past weeks, but who knew when Abdar would grow impatient? The streets were dark and in this heavy rain someone could hide unseen in one of the shop alcoves….
He slammed the door and hurried down the hall, cursing himself. Since when had he become enamored of rescuing females? Jane knew how to care for her own well-being and, if she saw him following her, would probably draw that knife in her boot and gut him. He was bone-tired, dry for the first time all day, and did not want to go out again.
But he knew he wouldn’t sleep until he knew the blasted woman had safely reached the bungalow.
he rain fell just as heavily the next day, and again Jane was forced to stop work by late afternoon. After she called a halt, she turned and started in the opposite direction from Sikor Gorge.
“Where are you going?” Ruel asked as he fell into step with her.
“I have to inspect the supports of the bridge over Lanpur Gorge.” She added curtly, “Go back to your hotel.”
“I’ll toddle along.” He strolled beside her. “How far is it?”
“A quarter of a mile around the bend.” She looked straight ahead. “And I don’t want your company.”
“You’ll have to become accustomed to it. We have to talk sometime. Where have you hidden Kartauk?”
“You don’t need to know that yet. When you have a plan, tell me about it and I’ll decide if it’s necessary for you to meet him.”
“It’s necessary now.”
“Too bad. I don’t agree.”
“Jane, listen to me.” His hand fell on her arm. “I intend to—”
“Don’t touch me!” She jerked back away from him, her eyes blazing.
“Why not?” he asked softly. “Do you like it too much?”
“I hate it.”
“No, you may hate me, but you don’t hate my hands on you. Never lie to yourself. I made that mistake, and look where it’s brought me.”
“I’m not lying to myself.” Sweet Mary, could he be right? She felt sick her body could betray her so easily, and yet she had felt something besides anger when he had put his hand on her arm. No, she would not permit it to be true. She whirled away from him and trudged on through the mud. “Why do you want to see Kartauk?”
/>
“The most selfish of reasons. I want him to help me.”
“You’re supposed to be helping him.”
“I will help him, but after you left last night I considered the situation and decided there may be a way we can help each other.” His lips tightened. “I’ll be damned if I’ll give up my plans for this quixotic idiocy.”
“No one could accuse you of being quixotic.”
“I’m glad you understand me at last. Though, you must admit, I’ve never aspired to virtue.”
No, he may have used her, but he had never pretended to be anything but what he was. “What can Kartauk do for you?”
“According to Abdar, Kartauk lived at the palace for years and had the favor of the maharajah before he decided to leave so precipitously. He must know him very well, perhaps well enough to tell me the way to persuade him to my way of drinking.”
“You wish only to question him about the maharajah?”
“I wish to know everything there is to know about His Imperial Majesty.”
“Why should I help you? I don’t care if you get what you want.” She added fiercely, “It would serve you right if you didn’t.”
“But we seldom get what we deserve in this world,” he said mockingly. “And almost always get what we’re capable of taking. As to why you should help me, it will keep me happy.”
She stared at him in astonishment. “You’re mad if you think that matters to me.”
“Oh no, if I’m happy with the way my own plans are proceeding, then I’ll be less likely to regret abandoning Abdar’s cause for your own. Since you obviously don’t trust me, wouldn’t it be wise to make sure there are boons to keep my loyalty intact?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Tomorrow.”
“I said I’ll think about it,” she said curtly. “Stop pushing me.”
“I have to push. I’ve wasted too much time already.” His mockery had been replaced by bleakness. “When I get your Kartauk out of Kasanpore, the odds are Abdar will make certain I don’t get another chance at the maharajah. I have to have that bill of sale before we leave.”
“Bill of sale?”