Sawyer swung his legs to the floor and scooted upright. “What’s going on, babe?”
“My family’s falling apart.” She hadn’t meant to tell him that, but the words had rushed out in a wave of unshed tears.
“Hey, come on. It’s okay.” His arms went around her, and she sank against his chest.
She cried a little before saying, “I just don’t know what’s happening to us, Sawyer. It’s like my parents hate each other. And maybe me and Adam too.”
“You know that’s not true. Didn’t they just let you have a blowout at Disney World? That’s not because they hate you.”
She pulled away as another thought hit her. “What if they get a divorce?”
“That wouldn’t be your fault.”
“But what if they do?”
“Half the kids in our school have divorced parents. And remarried parents.”
“You don’t.”
He shrugged. “They fight.”
“How do people fall out of love? It’s not supposed to be that way.”
He searched her face. “Maybe they don’t. Maybe they just lose their way.”
She told him then about seeing her father in the restaurant. He could say nothing to console her about that. He leaned his forehead in to touch hers. “These are supposed to be the best years of our lives.”
“You’re joking, right?”
“Just quoting my grandma, who says she knows these things.”
She managed a laugh. “I’m glad you came over tonight. I really didn’t want to be alone.”
“Me too.” He lifted her chin and, with great tenderness, kissed her mouth.
Alexis threw herself into schoolwork, especially preparation for the upcoming debate. The topic for the tournament, Resolved: That the federal government should establish an education policy to significantly increase academic achievement in secondary schools, wasn’t overly intriguing to her, but she prepared her affirmative arguments thoroughly. The burden of proof always lay with the affirmative position, and winning the round meant swaying the judges to accept her position and award her team points.
Cory, a junior, would be responsible for presenting the case and plan. Tessa would offer rebuttal when the opposition presented the negative side of the position. Following cross-examination periods between the speeches, it would fall to Alexis to summarize and cover all affirmative positions and negative rebuttals. This place on the team was usually reserved for the best speaker because it was the most difficult.
The day of the tournament, Alexis felt pumped up and ready. While Mrs. Wiley signed in the team at the site of the debate, Tessa whispered to Alexis, “You’re top dog, girlfriend.”
“What do you mean?” Alexis pinned her name tag to her blazer. Mrs. Wiley insisted that the team wear navy blazers and white oxford shirts when they competed.
“Everybody’s looking at you.”
Alexis glanced around, and sure enough, teams from other schools were giving her the once-over. Most turned away when she caught their eyes. “Wonder why. Is something wrong with me?”
“R-E-S-P-E-C-T,” Tessa spelled. “Your reputation has them scared. You’re a legend.”
“And you’re hallucinating. They’re just sizing up the competition.”
“No. . . . It’s you they fear.”
“Puh-leeze,” Alexis said skeptically. “It’s our whole team.”
Tessa smiled. “Well, bring ’em on. I feel lucky today.”
“You nut.” Alexis shook her friend’s shoulder.
Holding a packet, Mrs. Wiley walked up to her students. “I have our schedule. Shall we proceed to round one?”
Alexis fell into step behind their teacher and coach, with the other team members behind her. She walked quickly through the lobby area and toward the verbal battle she hoped would take her one step closer to the state finals and admission to Stetson. She hoped her parents would hold it together until after she and Adam were out the door.
“Chalk up another one.” Sawyer made an imaginary mark in the air above Alexis.
“Oh now, winning isn’t everything,” Alexis said with a satisfied smile.
Tessa, wearing a bigger smile, leaned into Alexis. “It’s the only thing,” they said in unison, then burst out laughing. They were standing in the hall the next day after school, waiting for Adam so that they could ride home together.
“How should we celebrate?” Sawyer asked.
“Ice cream usually works for me,” Alexis said.
Charmaine and Glory butted into the group. Glory said, “Heard you brought home a trophy.”
“We survived,” Alexis said. She felt exhilarated. Their team had taken first place and had placed in the top three in the individual events of every category they had entered. Her original oratory had taken first place.
“The queen rules,” Tessa said with a curtsy toward Alexis.
“Cut it out.”
Adam walked up with Kelly. “Do I have to bow to you too?”
She checked him over. He was grinning, but he looked pale to her. “Off with his head,” Alexis said, snapping her fingers.
Kelly ducked under Adam’s arm and hugged him protectively. “I like his head.”
“All right, all right . . . who’s up for ice cream?” Sawyer called out.
The entire group stormed the door.
At the ice cream parlor, they commandeered two tables and ordered a special called the kitchen sink, which consisted of a scoop of each of the parlor’s twenty-one flavors, ten toppings, butterscotch and hot fudge sauces and a can of whipped cream. It was served in a washtub, with spoons for everyone. Sawyer had insisted that the waiters and waitresses sing and clap for Alexis and Tessa as if it were their birthday. “We’re celebrating,” he said. “And we want to be entertained.”
Much later, when they had all gone their separate ways, Alexis sat alone with Sawyer in his car at the mall. “That was fun,” she told him. “Thanks for making such a big deal out of a little debate win.”
“You’re doing better than the football team,” he reminded her.
“That’s true,” she said with a laugh.
“Besides, I like seeing you happy.”
She closed her eyes and snuggled against him. “I think my sugar high’s wearing off.”
“Want a burger?”
“No . . . I’m really stuffed.” Suddenly she bolted upright as a sensation of dread shot through her like an electric current. Her heart raced, and she could hardly catch her breath.
“What’s the matter?” Sawyer’s eyes were wide with alarm. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Take me home,” she managed to say.
“But why—”
She grabbed his arm. “Something terrible has happened to Adam.”
“How do you know?”
Fear surged through her. “I just know, all right? Hurry!”
TEN
Sawyer shoved the car into gear and took off. Alexis sat tight-lipped, fear ripping through her like waves slamming the shore. She could not quash the sense of foreboding. Something was wrong with her brother. In her driveway, she jumped from the car before it had rolled to a complete stop and ran for the back door.
“Wait up!” Sawyer shouted.
She tried the door, but it was locked. She fumbled in her purse for the key.
Sawyer caught up with her. “I don’t think anyone’s here. The garage is empty.”
Where were her parents? Where was Adam? She jammed the key into the lock, opened the door and rushed inside. The kitchen was empty, all the counters clear and clean, like a galley in a spotless ship.
“Alexis . . . slow down,” Sawyer was saying.
She saw a note posted on the refrigerator. In bold black writing, her mother had scrawled: Ally—Come to Kendall Hospital ER. Alexis jerked the paper off the fridge and handed it to Sawyer.
His eyes widened as he read it. He said, “Come on. I’ll drive you.”
The small emergency room of thei
r community hospital was not crowded. The first person Alexis recognized was Kelly, sitting in a chair, clutching a jacket, her face red from crying. Alexis rushed over. “What happened?”
“Oh, Alexis . . . it was so terrible.” Kelly’s eyes were swollen slits, her baby-fine blond hair a tangled mess. “H-he collapsed. Just collapsed right in front of me.”
Alexis knees went weak and she sank into a chair. Sawyer crouched in front of Kelly.
“Tell me exactly what happened,” Alexis said.
“W-we were at my house. I kept asking him if he felt okay because he wasn’t looking too good to me. He kept saying he was fine, but then suddenly he grabbed hold of the arm of the sofa and just fell down. I started screaming. My dad came running and we couldn’t wake Adam up. He just lay there. Daddy called the paramedics.”
Alexis felt sick to her stomach. “And my mom—?”
“Daddy called her as soon as the paramedics came. She was at home, which was lucky because Adam says she’s hardly ever at home anymore. But she came straight to the hospital.”
“Where is she now?”
Kelly gestured toward the doors that led to the triage area of the ER.
“Has our dad been called?”
Kelly shrugged and cried fresh tears. “Th-the paramedics asked me if Adam was high—you know, on drugs. I told them I didn’t think so. That we’d just eaten ice cream . . .” She looked at Alexis. “He doesn’t do drugs, does he?”
“Never.” It disgusted Alexis that Kelly had even asked. She saw an admittance clerk and hurried over to the desk. “Excuse me, my brother was brought in—”
The woman interrupted her. “I haven’t heard anything yet. Go sit down. I’m sure someone will talk to you soon.”
“But I want to go be with him.”
“I’m sorry, that’s impossible.”
Alexis felt like diving across the desk and grabbing the woman by the throat.
Sawyer appeared by her side, took her elbow. “Maybe you should try and call your dad’s cell phone.”
Of course. She tore through her purse until she found her cell, but her fingers were shaking so badly that she couldn’t press the numbers on the tiny keypad.
“Here, let me.” Sawyer took the phone. She gave him the number; he entered it and handed the phone back to her.
An automated voice told her that the cell user she was trying to reach wasn’t available and that she should call back later. She started to heave the phone across the room, but Sawyer slid it from her hand. “Where is he?” she said fiercely under her breath. She needed her daddy and he wasn’t there.
The doors of the triage area opened and her mother emerged. Alexis ran to her. “Thank God you’re here,” her mother said. Her face was a mask of anguish.
“Adam—” Alexis choked out.
Her mother stood stiffly and looked brittle, as if she’d break if she were even touched. “The ambulance is taking him to Jackson.” She named the enormous state-of-the-art hospital in the heart of Miami. The hospital where Adam had spent so many months struggling to recover from chemo and other cancer treatments. “He’s relapsed,” Eleanor said in a hoarse whisper. “He’s in serious trouble.”
When Adam had been eleven, Alexis hadn’t been allowed on the floor where he was roomed. When he’d been thirteen, she’d only been allowed to visit him in the common areas where other patients met with their families. But now she was seventeen, and she swore that no one would keep her off the oncology floor. She’d ridden to Jackson Memorial with her mother, following the ambulance, driving in a nonemergency transport mode. Sawyer was behind them in his car.
“How is he?” Alexis asked during the interminable ride.
“Very sick.”
“What are they going to do for him?”
“His cancer specialist, Dr. Bernstein, will meet us at Jackson. He’ll decide what to do.”
In the flash of streetlights, Alexis could see that her mother was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles looked stark white. “We were at the mall eating ice cream. He seemed fine,” Alexis protested.
“He wasn’t fine. And this didn’t happen overnight. When they took off his shirt and pants in the ER, there were bruises all over him.”
Alexis caught her breath. “How—?”
“You’re probably too young to remember, but that was his first symptom when he was eleven . . . bruising for no reason.”
She didn’t remember, but then no one had gone out of their way to tell her either. She only remembered him getting sick and sleeping a lot.
“Back then, they thought it was a bad case of the flu, or mono, but more tests revealed that it was a whole lot worse.”
“I—I thought he was better. That he was in remission and that the worst was over.”
“No. It isn’t.” Her mother’s voice cracked.
Alexis fought the urge to gag. They rode in silence with no noise but the car’s heater humming on low. After a while, she said, “I tried to call Dad, but I couldn’t reach him.”
“He’s at his office. They turn the switchboard off at night, and he didn’t see fit to keep his cell phone on.” Her voice had an edge to it.
“He should know.”
Eleanor took a deep breath, her gaze fixed fully on the road. “He’ll come home eventually. Did you leave the note?”
“I—I don’t remember.”
By then they were pulling into the ambulance bay. Her mother parked, and they followed the stretcher into the ER. Alexis couldn’t take her eyes off her brother. He was covered with a blanket, except for one arm, which was connected to a portable IV line clamped to the stretcher. A series of ugly bruises stained his bare skin. His eyes were closed, but she saw dark circles beneath them, and his face looked downright gaunt. Why hadn’t she seen this until now? They lived in the same house. She should have noticed these things.
Adam was transferred to a gurney and rolled onto an elevator. Alexis, her mother and an orderly stood silent during the trip to the oncology floor. There a nurse met them and took them to the intensive care unit. “Just until we stabilize him,” the nurse explained. “Dr. Bernstein will be here shortly.”
The ICU was laid out like a wheel, with the nurses’ station and monitoring units at the hub and glass-fronted rooms radiating out like spokes. Alexis saw patients in some of the other rooms.
Alexis grew aware of a ruckus at the outside door of the ICU and recognized Sawyer’s voice. She made it to the door in time to see a nurse barring his way. “You can’t go in there,” the nurse was saying. “Only immediate family.”
Alexis quickly stepped into the hall. “It’s all right. He’s with me.”
“Well, explain the rules to him,” the nurse instructed. “Or I’ll have to call security.”
She disappeared inside the unit, and Alexis went into Sawyer’s arms. He said, “I told her we were brothers.”
“And she didn’t believe you?”
Sawyer shrugged. “She was making me mad.” He held Alexis tightly. “How’s Adam?”
“Pretty sick. We’re waiting for his doctor.”
“Do they know what’s wrong?”
“What’s always been wrong—cancer.” The word tasted bitter in her mouth.
“But I thought—”
“So did I.”
Like Tessa, Sawyer knew about Adam’s illness, mostly because of his close relationship with Alexis. “I’m really sorry,” he said.
She stepped away. “What happened to Kelly?”
“Her dad took her home. She was a basket case.”
“So am I. I’m just better at keeping a lid on it, I guess.”
“There’s a waiting room down the hall, and some sign that says ICU patients can only be visited for ten minutes every thirty minutes. Maybe we should go set up camp in there.”
She looked over her shoulder at the closed door. “I should go back.”
“Your mother’s there. Come sit down before you keel over.”
She went with him, but only to appease him. She wanted to be in the room with Adam. The lounge was small and dimly lit by lamps. The overhead lights were off, and curtains were drawn across windows. She and Sawyer were alone in the place. “What time is it?”
“I don’t have my watch.”
Alexis sank into a sofa. The afternoon and the celebratory trip to the ice cream parlor seemed as if they had happened a hundred years before. “You can go home, Sawyer. I know it’s late.”
“I called home. My parents understand. I don’t want to leave you.”
She lay against his shoulder. It felt good to have him near to lean on, to be with. Someone just for her. She said, “Adam has bruises all over him. I can’t understand why I didn’t see them.”
“He kept pretty covered up. Think about Disney World and the long pants. In the room, he wore jeans to bed. Wade and I thought it was odd, but . . .” He let the sentence trail off.
Alexis went hot and cold all over as realization dawned on her. She thought back to the way Adam had quickly covered up when he got out of the pool. And to the fact that he had been wearing long-sleeved shirts to school. “He was hiding the bruises,” she said. “Because he knew.”
“What did he know?” Eleanor had come into the waiting room and had walked over to the sofa without Alexis even seeing her.
Startled, Alexis looked up into her mother’s stricken face. “He knew he was sick again,” she said. “But he didn’t want us to know.”
Her mother steadied herself on the wall. “How could he do that? Why?”
“I guess we’ll have to ask him, won’t we?” Alexis’s throat felt raw and scratchy from holding everything inside.
A man appeared in the doorway. “Eleanor? Ally? Where’s Adam?”
Alexis saw her father. She jumped up from the couch, crossed the room in a few steps and flung herself into his arms. “Daddy!”
His arms tightened around her, and she dissolved into a river of white-hot tears.
ELEVEN
Alexis’s father held her while her mother filled him in on what had happened. “And where’s the doctor?” Blake asked when she paused.
“He’s evaluating Adam now.”
“We couldn’t reach you, Daddy,” Alexis said, her tears spent.