Chapter Ten
Lizzie
It was just after nine when Lizzie finally reached the huge gates that led to the White Star Line dock. Here the titan sat patiently waiting for the million tiny activities to be done with, so she could leave the land behind and get back to where she belonged – the sea. Craning her neck back, Lizzie tried to see the pale orange stacks that were already billowing threads of steam into the blue sky. However, the ship was too high; all she could see was the endless black side of the liner as it rested against the overcrowded jetty.
People were everywhere, like so many ants in a disturbed nest. She struggled through the crowds toward the sign that indicated the second class passengers' departure point. As one rough lout pushed past her, she lost her balance and almost fell. A strong arm caught and righted her, and for a moment, she felt oddly safe, as if she had found an island in midstream to rest on.
Looking up, she saw that her saviour was a young, good-looking man with dark hair and serious, brown eyes. For a moment, she rested in those warm, earthy depths. Then, giving herself a little shake, she drew back and smiled shakily.
‘Thank you, sir, I thought I was about to fall.’
‘Clumsy oaf should have been more careful. Are you well enough now?’ His voice was a pleasant tenor with an accent that she couldn’t identify. The gentle smile he gave her revealed surprisingly white, straight teeth.
‘Yes, thank you. It is rather hectic, is it not? I am not sure where I am meant to be. I keep looking for the second class signs but…’
‘Where is your husband? Surely, he should be taking care of you in your…’ He stopped and blushed, looking down at the road beneath them. ‘I do apologise. I should not have referred to your delicate condition.’
Lizzie smiled and pressed his jacket-covered arm with her gloved fingers. ‘Think nothing of it. My condition is apparent to anyone with eyes. And I am a widow, travelling alone to New York.’
The young man’s gaze lifted and met hers. There was a burning light in those brown depths now that she didn’t understand.
‘May I assist you to your destination then? I am Karl Langman from Ontario, Canada. I, too, am travelling second class.’
Lizzie felt a strange flutter in her chest. There was something very endearing about this overly serious and proper young man. It was as if she was meeting an old friend for the first time in many years, familiar and yet different.
‘Do I know you? Have you spent any time in England, in the last few years?’
‘No, I do not think we have met. This is my first trip to England. I have been here for only a very short time.’
Karl had taken her bag from her and, very quickly now, they began to make their way along the dock. With Karl clearing the way for her, Lizzie was feeling a great deal less overwhelmed.
‘My name is Lizzie Faul… oh no… it is Mrs Anthony Jones. I still have trouble remembering that. We were married for such a short time.’ She hated lying to this young man more than she thought possible. However, it was imperative that she stick with her story or she’d find herself entangled in her own deceit.
‘I am sorry for your loss. How is it you find yourself travelling to New York at this time?’ Karl manoeuvred them around a horse and wagon that were offloading fresh fruit and vegetables into the bowels of the ship.
‘When my husband died, my brother in New York, my only remaining family, offered me a home with him.’
‘You will like New York, I am sure. I have spent time there and it is a very busy, youthful place.’
‘My brother manages a store in Queens. Do you know Queens?’
‘No. I have never been to that area. I have spent more time in Manhattan. Nevertheless, I am sure Queens will suit you well.’
By this time, they had passed through the gates that led to the second class departure area. Suddenly, the overwhelming crowds eased up and they could pass through the different stages of their boarding without trouble. By the time they walked up the gangway to the C Deck companionway, two fresh flowers in her hand, Lizzie felt very relieved.
Handing her boarding pass to the crewman at the end of the gangway, she was introduced to a young, ginger-haired stewardess with a friendly smile. ‘D 55, Madam,’ she said glancing at the boarding pass. ‘If you will follow me…’ She started across the deck for the enclosed part of the ship.
‘May I follow along? I am in D 51,’ Karl asked the rapidly moving stewardess.
‘Certainly, sir, you will be just a few staterooms away. Both of you will find being next to the dining room a great convenience, I imagine.’
Lizzie found it difficult to keep up with the young woman ahead of her, but being free of her luggage made it easier. Karl strode along just behind her with their luggage. After a quick glance in her direction, the stewardess took them to the small lift rather than the stairs. Within moments, they had descended to the deck below and were greeted by two large, varnished wooden doors and a wall of wood panelling that seemed to stretch endlessly on either side.
Ignoring the doors, the stewardess turned to the right, or starboard side of the ship, and took a few steps over to a line of cabin doors. Then the young woman stopped.
‘You are here, sir,’ the stewardess indicated the stateroom closest to the stairs. She then continued along a short passageway that ran parallel to the double doors and wood panelling. At the very end, she opened a door on the left.
Karl, Lizzie was pleased to see, had followed along with them, carrying her bag.
‘If you need anything just ring the bell. My name is Lucy and I will be your stewardess for the duration of your journey.’
After a quick curtsey, the woman was gone, squeezing past Karl’s tall body and making her way back to the staircase.
Lizzie moved into the stateroom so that Karl could follow her and put down her bag.
‘This is nice and airy. The porthole gives a lot of light,’ remarked Karl, as he put her bag on the six-foot long divan under the porthole. There was a pair of bunks across from the divan. Two foldaway sinks, with a mirror in a cabinet above were located on the far wall. There was also a large teak wardrobe and a metal rack for cases next to the door. The walls were white and smelled freshly painted.
‘I would suggest you take the bottom bunk. Climbing around in your condi…’ He stopped short once again and sought for a change of topic desperately.
‘Mr Langman… may I call you Karl?’
‘I would be honoured.’
‘Karl, you do not have to be circumspect about my condition. I am not. I like to think of myself as a New Woman. Pregnancy is a part the female lot. It is not something to be ashamed of or hidden away, as Queen Victoria would have had us do, and you are perfectly correct, climbing up onto the top bunk would be dangerous in my condition. I hope my roommate, Mrs Duncan, will be accommodating.’
Lizzie put her bag onto the bed and opened it. She removed her nightdress and put it under the pillow, then turned, as she noticed Karl edging for the door.
‘I can do this later. Shall we make our way up on to the deck? Or will we take the tour? I rather like the idea of seeing the general areas of first class. They said they would be open to us until departure. It would be interesting to see how the other half will be living on the trip.’
Karl smiled his relief and offered her his arm. ‘I would be honoured to escort you on a tour of first class. I would very much like to see their gymnasium up on Boat Deck. It has the most interesting assortment of equipment, so I have read.’
She picked up the two carnations she’d been given at the bottom of the gangway. One was hers and the other was Karl’s. Taking his, she threaded it through his lapel buttonhole. Then she did the same with her own.
‘How do you know where to find this gymnasium?’ she asked, taking his arm.
‘I made a point of studying plans in advance of my journey. I like to know the lay of the land, as it were.’
They briefly stopped off to drop Karl’s hand lu
ggage in his much smaller stateroom, and then they took the lift up to the very top of the ship. Here, they wandered along the deck, admiring the smoke stacks at close quarters and looking down at the dock, far below. There weren't many people up here yet, and it was pleasant walking in the morning sunshine along the pristine, varnished deck.
‘There do not appear to be many lifeboats,’ Lizzie commented, as they passed four of them on the starboard side and headed forward.
‘Not nearly enough,’ Karl replied darkly, and she felt a shiver of fear run down her spine. Why should it matter how many lifeboats there were? This was the unsinkable Titanic, after all. Such safety precautions were unnecessary for them.
They passed through the gates that separated second from first class and found the gymnasium. It was a large room filled with an assortment of devices. A huge dial, like a clock, occupied a space on the far wall alongside a large map of the world. A series of arched windows occupied two full lengths of the other walls, all frosted so that they allowed the maximum light, while protecting those in the gym from the prying eyes of those passing along the promenade.
There was an odd collection of apparatus spread around the decked floor that Lizzie found intriguing. Karl climbed onto one piece of equipment that had a horse's saddle. When he pushed a lever, the device began to move, mimicking the gate of a horse. She laughed with delight and clapped her hands.
‘Faster, go faster!’
Karl obediently pushed the lever further down and the saddle began to move with more speed, as if he was in full gallop. It was fairly apparent that Karl was not a horseman, for he was having difficulty maintaining his seat. It was hysterical.
‘Do you feel you are getting exercise?’ she asked him.
‘I feel like a butter churn,’ he replied breathlessly and reached down to turn off the contraption. ‘I think I’ll stick to the equipment back home.’
He dismounted unsteadily and Lizzie couldn’t help taking his arm. She looked up at him and grinned brightly. It was a long time since she'd had such fun. Being with Karl was such an unexpected gift, and they seemed to have fallen into a companionship that had the ease of years, rather than a little more than an hour.
‘What next?’ she asked, looking around at the other gadgets. There was one that seemed to be for rowing and another for bicycle riding. Another had a label that said camel-ride. She could only wonder what that looked like in action.
But it seemed Karl had had enough of experimenting, so the camel-ride went untried and they made their way out of the gym. A little further along the Boat Deck, they came to the entrance to first class. They stepped over the lip of the door and entered the reception area.
The Grand Staircase took Lizzie’s breath away. She looked up at the bright glass and metal dome above their heads and gasped in awe.
‘How beautiful!’
‘Yes. They spared no expense on either of the Grand Staircases, fore and aft. Look, this is a clock called “Honour and Glory.” See the two angels on either side of the clock face? They are Honour and Glory. Beautifully wrought, as is everything here in first class.’
The lovely clock showed the time to be eleven thirty. They still had half an hour to continue their tour. They chose to walk down the grand, curving staircase, rather than taking one of the three lifts. On each floor, they were greeted by sumptuous furnishings and artwork. On D Deck, there was even a large tapestry on the wall that was obviously a replica of a much older work of art.
They took a seat at a table and looked around them in contented pleasure.
‘I could get used to this,’ Lizzie said with a sigh. ‘It will be so much harder adjusting back to the more conservative comforts of second class after this taste of the good life.’
Karl laughed loudly, and for a moment, seemed rather nonplussed by his own display of emotion. Then he shook it off and turned back to her with an admiring smile. It was so nice to have a handsome young man taken with her in this way. She would have expected her pregnancy to put men off. No one found a swollen belly attractive. However, Karl’s eyes rarely left her face, and they still held that odd fire, banked now, as if he was hiding his true feelings from her.
‘You have made this morning so much better than I expected. I am used to having to do things for myself, and it is such a gift having a man treating me as a rare flower in need of care.’
‘Lizzie, may I call you Lizzie?’ When she nodded, he went on. ‘Lizzie, you are a rare flower, and I am delighted to have the opportunity to care for you, if only for a few short hours until other single gentlemen pick up your scent, as it were.’
She laughed. ‘You make it sound like men are roaming the ship, sniffing the air like foxhounds.’
‘Men can be like that at times. If any should give you trouble, just call on me. I will make swift work of them. As long as they are not too much bigger than me.’ He laughed at himself and she liked that about him. He was modest and self-effacing, but not in a demeaning sort of way. It was as if he did not realise just how attractive he was to the opposite gender. As if he was unused to conversing with women.
‘Do you have sisters?’ she asked him, following through on that thought. It may well be that he did not have much opportunity to associate with women.
‘Sisters? Why, no. I had a brother once, long ago. But he died, as did my parents.’
‘Who raised you?’
For a moment, Karl looked rather puzzled, until he put the pieces together. ‘They passed after I was grown. I am older than I look.’
She studied his unlined face with its square jaw, straight nose and broad forehead. A stray lock of brown, undressed hair fell across that brow and she had the strongest urge to stroke it back out of his eyes. He looked to be no older than twenty. How old could he be to have been fully grown when his parents passed long ago?
‘What do you see when you look at me that way?’ he asked her softly, leaning in so their faces were only a foot apart. His warm, brown eyes seemed to engulf her and she bathed in them, soaking up their heat, allowing them to heal the pain and fear of the last year and more.
Looking at him like this, Peabody and his painful attack seemed like it happened to another girl. No one who looked into these brown eyes could be as besmirched and unworthy as she’d felt herself to be for the last five months. It was as if, in these precious moments, she was reborn, her agonising past wiped away. Once again, she was the light-hearted girl she’d been at College, before that fateful train accident took away her past and future.
‘Lizzie?’
‘Hmm?’ she had completely forgotten what he’d asked her.
‘What do you see when you look at me with such concentration?’ he repeated.
‘I… I do not know. I just find your visage appealing. You look young… younger than me, and yet you seem to be so mature. So calm and collected, as if you have seen so much and weathered many storms. Yet you have emerged unscathed. That sounds silly, I do apologise.’
He took her gloved hand and held it between his own. ‘No. It is not silly at all. I have never met anyone who could read me as you have just done. I have spent a very long time mastering my demeanour so that others cannot see my thoughts. My father did not approve of emotions. It feels good to be seen…’
‘My father could be a hard man, too. It was their generation, I think. But I believe men feel just as deeply as women, and it seems unfair that you should be forced to hide those feelings just because you are a man.’
‘It was not about being a man for my father. It was about being an intellect. Emotions dulled the intellect.’
‘What is your career path?’
‘I am a medical researcher. A physician.’
‘But you are so young!’ she said with stunned amazement.
‘As I have said, I am older than I look. And my education was accelerated because of my intellect.’
‘Is that why you have trouble talking to girls, because you were always around people older than yourself?’
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br /> He looked at her in astonishment and then gave a soft hoot of laughter. ‘Do I have trouble talking to girls? I thought I was doing very well with you, Mrs Jones.’
‘Oh, I do apologise. I did not mean it as an insult. You have been very good company. But I just sense that this is new to you, this level of… intimacy, for want of a better word, which we have developed so quickly. I like that you are ill at ease with my gender. If you are, of course. I may have that entirely wrong.’
‘No,’ he admitted with a slow shake of his head. ‘You do not have it wrong. I talk quite freely with colleagues who are women, but do not quite know how to converse socially. And yet, you are right. That does not seem to be the case where you are concerned. I feel like I have known… never mind.’
‘Like we have known each other for a very long time? That is how I feel, too.’
‘You do? Is that what you meant when you said you thought you knew me?’
‘Yes. Never mind, that was the ship’s horn. Shall we go out on deck and wave to the people?’
Karl stood and helped her to her feet. ‘Yes, let us go aft on the B Deck promenade. We should see those on deck and those on the shore quite well from there. I have friends in steerage I would like to see, just to know they boarded safely.’
Later, after the madness of that tearful departure was over, she went back to her stateroom alone to freshen up before luncheon. At the door, she met an angry-faced woman with faded blonde hair who had to be Mrs Duncan.
‘I suppose you were the one who commandeered the bottom bunk. Well, I am sorry my dear, but you are to be disappointed. I will be sleeping in the bottom bunk.’
She saw that her bag and night attire had been removed from the bunk she had left it on and placed on the divan. Her mouth fell open in astonishment. For a moment, she was lost for words.
However, Lucy came to her rescue, appearing in the doorway with a knowing, compassionate glance. She placed blankets and linen on the divan before turning to Lizzie. ‘Never mind, Madam, I will make up the divan for you. Can’t have you clambering about in your condition, can we?’ I’ll make it up while you are at luncheon. Then if you feel like a little rest in the afternoon, you will be able to do so.’
‘Where am I expected to sit, may I ask, if she takes the only seat in the room?’ demanded the middle-aged blonde imperiously.
‘Your cabin is for sleeping, Madam. There are plenty of places to sit quite comfortably around the ship,’ Lucy replied cheerily.
Lizzie was so grateful to the young woman she could have kissed her.
Hurriedly, she left the stateroom and made her way down the corridor to the water closets. Then, at the sink, she washed her face and brushed back stray wisps of hair that had escaped the knot on the top of her head after she’d removed her hat.
The twinkle in her eyes was new, she realised, as she studied her face in the mirror. And her lips seemed to be turning up at the ends without her conscious thought.
This was what it felt like to feel romanced, she realised wonderingly. After everything she’d been through, finally her life had turned along a new and exciting path. Suddenly, she felt young and dizzy. Not even her obnoxious roommate would be allowed to spoil her new-found pleasure.