silver of his eyes shining in the dim light.
Seb answered slowly, “Before we were just individuals and we knew who we were to each other. Now? Now I know we have different relationships with lots of different people, including the ones we’ve had relationships with before. None of it lasts and none of it means anything because we forget it as soon as it’s done – it’s pointless!”
“Really?” Alice crossed his arms. “Just because you know you come back again and again, why is that bad? The only difference I see is that you were ignorant before. Did you honestly believe in Heaven, Hell – that when you died your soul would either go to paradise or a burning pit? Is that what you believed?”
“No, I don’t know. But what I did believe was that the bit of me that makes me me would carry on and would know I’d lived and know who I had been, who I was to other people …” His thoughts got confused. He didn’t want to have this philosophical conversation. “I don’t care, anyway. It really doesn’t mean anything.”
“Seb, I don’t get you.” Alice’s eyes flashed with annoyance. “As Dryads we love the idea of the continual variation of our relationships. We love the fact that we can experience each other in many different ways and that over time we recognise each other by a feeling of comfortableness. You? You just seem to want to ignore the magic of it all, live a one-dimensional existence, isolated and alone. There is so much more to being alive than one existence, one identity. That’s what it’s all about. That is the point. You can feel what it’s like to be a leaf on a different tree in a different forest. Why would you only want to be a leaf on one oak that falls in autumn, never to come back again?”
Seb shook his head; it was getting far too deep for him. A sudden howling sound saved him from continuing the conversation. Cue he guessed. The sound was heart-rending, like the beast was in pain. Seb and Alice both turned just as a bat zoomed out of the treetops to their left. Seb saw the claws a millisecond before they impacted on his head, scratching and tearing at his scalp.
“Ow, ow, get it off me!” He began to panic. The agonised cries from Cue got louder but Seb barely registered them as he flailed his arms about, trying to grab hold of the bat.
“Seb, be still, I can’t get it if you are flapping around like that,” Alice said, trying to help. And then suddenly the pain stopped as a tall figure appeared beside Seb, snatched the bat from his head and tossed it far into the woods.
Mr Duir spoke hurriedly, “It is dangerous for you to be alone!”
Rubbing his sore head, Seb stared at him, grateful for the rescue. He could still hear Cue but the howling had become a sorrowful whining.
“What’s wrong with Cue?” he asked.
“We must go,” Mr Duir said, his expression stern.
“What’s wrong with him?” Seb asked again.
Mr Duir shook his head. “There are events occurring I do not fully understand. We must go.” He took a couple of steps but Seb remained on the spot.
Alice hovered beside him. “You would do well to follow him; he can protect you,” he said.
Seb was still uncertain. He didn’t feel ready to rejoin the company of others. He still had a feeling of being continually swept along by events, by the teachers. But he had to acknowledge he was in no way equipped to protect himself, so he followed Mr Duir.
“Where are the others?” he asked Alice.
“At the cottage,” Alice sounded slightly confused. “I am having trouble communicating though. I can’t hear them and they don’t seem able to hear me.”
Seb shrugged, trying to convince himself he didn’t care. Then he had a thought. “Will someone replace me in the group?”
Alice laughed out loud. Mr Duir, a few paces ahead, stopped.
“Something amuses you, young Dryad?” he asked, as they caught up.
“Seb always amuses me,” Alice replied. “He thinks that because he has stormed out he will be replaced as Custodian.”
“Well, how can the group continue to do what they are meant to do if I am not part of it?” Seb sulked.
“Yes!” Mr Duir said. There was silence in the woods. The sounds of Cue’s moans had stopped and not a bird sang.
“Well?” Seb asked, frustrated at the non-answer.
“Yes, Seb, how can the group continue if you are not part of it?”
“Oh!” Seb stormed in frustration, “Why do you adults never give a straight answer? You never explain – if I ask a question why don’t you just answer it?”
Now there was sound around them; birds squawked and flapped off above the trees, mammals scrabbled away in the undergrowth and the trees groaned and creaked.
Mr Duir placed a hand on Seb’s shoulder. The touch sent a pulse of warmth and strength through his body. “The short answer is they can’t, Seb – without a Custodian the group is not complete – but the long answer is you can’t; you can’t not be a part of the group. You were selected by Nature to be what you are, The Custodian. You cannot simply relinquish that role. All the while you are alive in this guise you will be The Custodian and part of the group. They will function, but poorly, in your absence and the passage of souls will be unguarded. Do you not see,” he looked intently at Seb, his eyes twinkling, “you have no control over what you are. You do, however, have control over what you do and if you continue to deny your responsibility then chaos will result.” He continued, removing his hand, “You have the right of self-determination – all souls do – but self-determination within the role that Nature gave you. I will protect you, I will help you educate yourself but I am not the one to persuade you to take up the chalice that has been handed to you. That must come from you. You must decide what you do!” Without another word he turned and strode deeper into the woods. Seb followed, fearing another bat attack – or worse.
Souls and Spirits
The monotonous stomp of his own footfalls, accompanied by the cracking and crunching of the undergrowth they ploughed through, provided a rhythmic calm within which Seb could get his thoughts in order. He had conceded that he could not manage alone and so accepted the protection Mr Duir gave. That was, however, a far cry from placing himself back in the group. The discord he felt at discovering he was just a simple soul bumping into other souls on a repetitive cycle of visits to the tangible world was at odds with his heart’s emotion which felt the tug of kinship, the bond of friendship. The Dryads somehow were able to reconcile their temporary and changing relationships and identities.
And in these dim and hushed surroundings Seb realised how superficial his view of life had been. He had known nothing before he came to this life. No one does. And before now he had suspected he would pass into oblivion, knowing nothing after he died. He had found the popular view of a heavenly paradise or damnation to hell a bit far-fetched. The difference now was that he knew beyond doubt that people had souls that continued beyond this life and not only that, they all got to have another crack at life and a whole new bunch of people to interact with. Is that so bad?
On this visit he got to have the fun of a friendship with Zach, Aiden and Nat and to be brother to Scarlet. His mother was his mother in this life and before today he had believed that this was the only life there was. Now he had been given the prospect of many, many lives.
He started smiling. Alice noticed.
“Happiness, Seb? That’s an unusual emotion for you to display.”
Seb’s smile got bigger. He got to have a friendship with a Dryad too – how cool was that?
“I suppose I just realised what a fool I have been.” He stopped. “A leaf on a different tree, but what’s the point if you don’t know you were on the tree before?” He frowned, his thoughts muddled again.
Alice laughed. “Seb, of course you know. Have you not come across people in this short life who you feel instantly comfortable with? And those you instantly take a dislike to and you’ve no idea why?”
There were not so many of the former but plenty of the latter. Seb nodded.
“Well, those are souls you have interacted with before, either in a positive relationship or a negative one.”
Mr Duir, having realised they had stopped, came back to them. He looked concerned.
“Seb, we need to move on.”
“Well, there’s no need. I’ve had time to think. I know I have been a bit of an idiot, but I get it now. I want to be part of the group. I’ll go back to the cottage.” He started to turn but The Head stopped him.
“No, Seb. We need to go to the Ancient Place. It is not safe for you to travel with your group.”
“Isn’t the Ancient Place where you got hurt?” Seb said with a stab of fear. “Why are we going there?”
Mr Duir stared down at him as if pondering what to reply. Eventually he said, “The attack was unexpected and my going there alone was a mistake. Now we are more prepared.”
Seb couldn’t see how they were more prepared and we are still going alone, he thought.
“Wouldn’t it be better to all go together, if going alone was a mistake?” he asked.
“Seb, to put you back with your group out here would be like shining a beacon. There are enough things that can track you as it is. With the strength of your group around you your imprint is all the greater. We go alone.”
The memory of the bat’s claws digging into his head brought home the message about things that could track him. And Cue? Cue had found him too. Seb trotted after Mr Duir who was making fast progress through the woods once