"Look," interrupted Julianna, "we're not here for your women."
"I might be," said Jimmy.
"I thought you were in love," pointed out Jason.
"Well, yeah, but she be a gangsta's daughter who t'inks I have left her," he looked around at the topless women. "Dis seem like a good place to forget."
"Will you two stop?" glared Julianna. "Look, we don't know what you are talking about, we just landed for our ship to resynchronise its settings."
"Recalibrate," Cherry corrected from an external speaker.
"Whatever," fumed Julianna. "The point is that we come in peace."
"We come in peace?" asked Jason.
"Yes. So?"
"Well it's a bit clich?d isn't it?" chimed in Dr. Hendricks.
"I'd expect it from them," she pointed a thumb at Jason, Jimmy and Milk, "but not from you."
"No, quite, but, well," the four of them started sniggering as the natives looked on confused.
"I do not understand," said the Chief.
Julianna sighed. "No, neither do I."
The sniggers turned to guffaws and Jason actually cried.
"Ah, well, kill them anyway," said the Chief.
And the laughter stopped.
"Wait, wait," said Jason, "first explain why you want to kill us. What is this about you're extremely attractive women?"
"You really do not know?"
"Not at all," conceded Milk. "Same as ever."
"Hmm," the Chief considered. "Every ten years a group of men who call themselves Durden Raiders come to take our women and sell them into slavery or prostitution; and ten years are up."
"Tell me, Chief, do we look or act like Durden Raiders?" asked Dr. Hendricks.
"Well, no, not really," admitted the Chief.
"Then maybe we can help you, so that you don't have to lay down your lives to laser fire," Julianna said.
"What?" asked Jason. "Julianna, we have a bigger mission plus Laikans and the Mob after us."
"And they can wait. We're not leaving these people to die."
"Julianna, we don't even know when these slavers might turn up," Milk added.
"About this time tomorrow," the Chief said. "We just thought you were early."
"How do you know that?" Jason asked.
"They phoned," the Chief said.
"Oh," said Jason.
"Then it's settled, we will stay and help you fight off these men," Julianna told the Chief.
He sagged a little and relief mingled with joy on his face; then he threw his arms in the air.
"Then welcome to our island," he beamed at them arms raised and the rest of the Natives went wild with cheers.
***
Later, having moved The Wild Rover, they sat in a village of wooden huts which still had a TV satellite each. There was a great roaring fire in the centre of the village as the sun set.
Milk was being attended to by two young women; they were feeding him a broth cooked up by the local doctor who was now in deep conversation with Hendricks. Jimmy was sitting on some cushions near the fire with another two giggling girls serving him the local alcohol and cooked meat. He looked tremendously satisfied. Julianna was in a hut talking to some older women about women's stuff, probably cooking and fashion, thought Jason, well not fashion as these ladies had a certain lack of clothes. He himself was sitting alone under a tree away from his friends and the Natives who surrounded the fire with drink and dance.
He thought about everything again, about how Hendricks had said that they were really a team and it was true. But a team that seemed to attract danger, that by searching for the Trimedian they were themselves hunting down danger. He really couldn't blame himself for all this, he was a different man from the man who took the mission five years ago and he hadn't intentionally meant to bring any of these people along. Well, Hendricks, but he was supposed to stay on Peskini.
"You are the leader?" asked the Chief.
Jason jumped a little having not seen him approach.
"Well, yeah, I guess."
"You sit alone and think while the others enjoy themselves, yet you only guess that you are the leader?"
"OK, I am then."
"Then we need to talk about your plans for tomorrow."
"Right," and as he got up, for the first time, Jason willed himself to be Chase, to be the man who could come up with a decent plan. Or at least a half decent plan. Or half a decent plan. Or at the very least half a plan.
Honestly, who are we kidding? Chase's plans were rubbish. He should have willed himself to be Churchill or someone. Chase was the type of man who could and did get drunk when he shouldn't, but if he planned on it, he'd go to bed sober however many Chokdee cocktails he drank.
About an hour later the Chief and Chase got back to the fire having wandered around in the jungle and discussed the best way to use it.
Not much had changed, Milk was now snoring loudly by the fire, Jimmy was still sitting as he was, but now talking with another man. Dr. Hendricks was also now sitting by the fire, eating and watching the dancing.
The Chief left Chase as Julianna walked up to him.
"How're you doing?" she asked gently.
"Tired, but fine," replied Jason. "You know, I'm having trouble getting my head around all of this. Not long ago I was a moderately successful writer and now I'm on another planet trying to plan how to fend off Durden Raiders. I don't even really know what that is."
Julianna looked at him and felt a wave of pity for him, life was hard and full of surprises, but this probably took the biscuit, a HobNob at that. She thought of various things to say and then just took him in her arms instead. They stood embracing for some time in the flickering of the fire.
***
Trillo sat in the small hotel bar with some of his men. He had already hired out a number of craft ready for first light tomorrow and now all he had to do was wait.
"Boss, are you sure about this?" asked one of the men.
"Are you questioning me, Dounton?" he growled.
"No, sir, but if they are not still on the planet, then we will have definitely lost them."
"Two things, Dounton, one: if they have escaped into space then we have already lost them until one of our spies picks them up again, two: it's not Darkstaar's style, he wouldn't just leave, he would want us to think that and leave after us."
"And if that happened, we could be half way across the Universe in the wrong direction," piped up another Laikan hoping to score points.
"Exactly, Pruntip, exactly," Trillo said and points were scored. "Tomorrow at first light we take our ships and we scour the islands until we smell them out."
***
The next morning the whole village gathered to listen to their Chief.
"Later this day," the Chief orated, "the Durden Raiders will come to take away some of our women to live out a life of slavery," there were noises of hate from the crowd. Tricky to describe a noise of hate, trust me, I just tried. "And we will not try to stop them," and said noises turned to noises of surprise and shouts of dissent. "I let our new friend Chase explain."
Chase stood up and began to explain his plan. There were many groans and comments of 'half-arsed'.
Later the women were hard at work sowing grass skirts for themselves while the men were preparing traps in the jungle around the village.
"No, absolutely not," defied Julianna as she and Chase stood in the jungle.
"You have to be there, you're the only one," Chase countered.
"I am not going topless in front of you lot," she insisted.
"We won't be there, will we? We'll be in the jungle," Chase again countered. "Look, none of these women have ever shot a gun; we need someone there who can drop any Raider who tries to fight."
Julianna's shoulders sagged, he was right.
"You were the one who chose that we fight," Chase said gently.
"OK, OK, I know, alright?"
"We promise not to look."
"And I trust
you as far as I can throw a Longgot," she sighed an almost Milk-like sigh.
"Well, you need to trust me on this, if we're going to beat the Raiders," he said and squeezed her shoulders.
She turned and walked back to join the women sowing in the village.
One of the men working walked past her and up to Chase.
"If your plan is going to work, then why are we making these here traps?" he asked.
"Because," explained Chase, "this is life and you never know what's going to happen," he smiled at the man, "I always like a bit of backup."
Finally the time of arrival came. And went.
"After all that work, they can't turn up on time?" Milk asked no one particularly.
"I doubt they are known for their manners," said Dr. Hendricks.
"I be going wit' the Doc on dis one."
And then the scout returned saying they were coming into land and our intrepid heroes disappeared into the jungle.
The Durden Raiders were soon in the village and were a rag tag group of fifteen males. They wore blacks and greys, rough cottons, leathers and various patches and even some metal sown into or onto their clothes. They were of various races, Human, Merrick, Grey, Cantorvial, Laikan, Albertine, Byfrok, and Tarancort. They all looked unwashed and mean, which is unfair because the Durden code was very strict about cleanliness and personal hygiene.
The leader was a Human called Bob and he now stepped forward to greet the gathered menfolk.
"You know the drill," he growled through his thick, grizzly beard.
All the village men gathered together and some of the Raiders went over to them and began tying them together, all except the Chief.
"Now, Chiefy," said Bob, "you know the drill bring out the women."
The Chief walked toward the large meeting hut to get the women and he was a bit sad. His village had been so weak for so many years that the Raiders didn't even bother checking the huts for an ambush. In fact, Chase and his gang could have just hidden in a hut and started shooting. He should have thought about that, but then it was too embarrassing to his pride that his tribe was so compliant. He walked into the hut.
"OK, they are here, are you ready to do this?" he asked them.
"We're ready," replied Julianna from their midst. "Be strong, girls, this is where we get revenge for all the girls that were taken," there were murmurs of agreement and strength. It was right that the women should take the lead in stopping the Raiders.
They followed the Chief out and lined up in front of the Raiders who made 'appreciative' noises. Again, hard to describe, sure you've made some yourselves. Though hopefully not over topless women you're about to sell into slavery.
"What's all this with the skirts?" asked Bob to the Chief.
"In the last ten years, we have become more modest," the Chief said as sweat started to roll down his back.
"But they're still topless," exclaimed a Cantorvial.
"So who's complaining?" asked an Albertine.
"Well," the Chief started and coughed, "well, why don't you take some of these women into the free huts and see for yourself. Taste the, er, wares for yourself before choosing."
He hated doing this, saying these things, but this was the plan to forever rid themselves, to never lose another girl and as Chief he had to be strong, be a leader.
"That's not how it goes," pointed out Bob.
"Yes," he started stronger now. I'm the leader, I'm the leader, I'm the leader, "but we just want to help you, we don't want any trouble. If you don't take anything, but the best, you will come back."
"That is true" mused Bob, "and my men could do with a little R & R.
"Men, take a good look and choose your woman, let's turn this job into a little break. You know we won't get to touch 'em once we are back on the ship."
"Not unless we pay," roared a Merrick to much laughter and then the Raiders were passing amongst the women, looking here, feeling there.
They chose their fifteen and began dragging them to various huts whilst the men squirmed in their ropes.
Bob stopped a Human who was dragging Julianna along.
"Choose again, Jobson, this one here is mine."
Jobson wandered off, annoyed, to choose someone else.
"Now come with me, my dear, I promise to look after you," Bob sneered at Julianna, and that's not easy with a big beard.
He dragged her toward a hut and she was sick with nerves, if any one of them got caught so would the rest and as Chase had pointed out, she was the only one who actually knew how to use a gun. The key was to get the Raiders disarmed.
In the hut Julianna knew the routine, knew it all too well. She slid around the back of Bob and encircled him with her arms.
"Such a big man," she purred and her hands slid around his body searching for guns other than the one in his shoulder holster. Her hand slid up to said gun and Bob swatted it away. "Come on, you don't need that in here."
"You're right," he replied, stepped out of arms and took off the gun.
"Keep going," she said with a hint of mock excitement.
Bob took off his leather waistcoat and pulled his shirt over his head. His body was hard, lean with muscle and covered with painful looking scars. Julianna walked up to him and undid his trousers and let them fall around his feet. Before he could kick them off she reached under her skirt and pulled out the pistol that was tied to her thigh.
"Don't even think about moving," she commanded.
"What? What the hell is this?" he demanded.
"This is payback, Bob, and it's a bitch," she walked around him and stuck the gun into his back. "Outside."
He waddled out of the hut with his trousers around his ankles to find the rest of his men being lead out of the huts in various throws of undress. He also found the villagers untied and holding spears. Plus three Humans and a Laikan with laser machineguns. He also noticed a large cage made out of strong looking wood; how had this happened? What was now going to happen? That was probably a stupid question, the Durden Raiders had been coming here for decades, taking women from mothers, fathers and siblings. These villagers would take their blood as revenge.
As he was led, along with his men to the cage he reflected that it was a fair end, he, Bob, was not a good man. He had done terrible things in his life. He hadn't always been a bad person, he had once been an outstanding man of his community and in joining the UTN Navy had been a brilliant leader of his men. Too brilliant. His commanding officer became afraid that he commanded too much power and Bob was framed, made a shame of the Navy and of his home community. He had escaped prison with his most loyal men and joined the Durden Raiders and the irony of his life was that he had done far worse in those times than that which he had been accused of. That one jealous Naval officer had led to his ruin, to his crimes. Not that Bob could lay all the blame on that man, he had chosen his subsequent crimes, even if they were out of bitterness.
And now he would pay for them.
The cage was locked and one of the Humans came up to it.
"Any last words?" Chase asked pointing his machinegun at the men in the cage.
"I am the leader," Bob said as he stepped forward to the bars, "and I talk for my men that we are not afraid to die, indeed it is a just end to die here, a just end for unjust men."
"Very noble of you," commented Dr. Hendricks.
"There is no nobility in these men, Doc," said Chase without taking his eyes off Bob.
"That is not true, but we do not have penitence if that is what you are after."
"Not penitence, but blood," said Julianna stepping forward. "Isn't that right, Chase?"
He tried not to, he really did, but Chase just couldn't keep his eyes off her semi-naked body.
"Chase?" she asked again with her eyes on Bob. She looked over at him looking at her. "I knew it." she stormed.
Then she looked at Jimmy and Milk.
"I don't believe you guys," she shouted hopelessly and stormed off to a hut to change. Only Hendri
cks who had his hand over his eyes didn't watch her go.
"A thing of beauty indeed," commented Bob.
"Shut up," commanded Chase looking back at him.
"So we have been captured by the great Chase Darkstaar, how interesting," said Bob.
"How so?"
"Well to die at the hands of natives would be embarrassing, but it won't look so bad on us that we died at the hands of the great hitman."
"Who said you are going to die?" asked Milk.
"Does anyone walk away from Darkstaar? No I don't think so."
***
During this conversing Trillo and his men lay in the jungle watching.
"We're here for Darkstaar and his friends; ignore the villagers and the captured men," he commanded them.
"And if they attack us?" one of his less bright men asked.
Trillo gave a sigh that would have made Milk proud. "Then kill them, idiot. Now are we ready?"
His men checked their weapons and set their faces.
"Go," shouted Trillo and they burst out of the undergrowth shooting.
"Laikans," shouted Jimmy.
"Run," screamed Chase.
The villagers dived for cover and threw spears wide of their mark as Chase and his gang ran for the jungle. And the traps.
The jungle rained with laser blasts and it was obvious as they ran that the Laikans were concentrating their fire on the four of them.
"What be de plan?" shouted Jimmy.
"We have a plan?" Milk shouted back.
"Lead them away from the villagers, and through the traps," shouted Chase.
"I say, it's been a whole two days since I was chased by anyone who wanted to kill me," shouted Hendricks.
"Keep the humour to yourself, Doc," warned Chase.
A shot razed over Hendricks shoulder and he span 180 degrees and dropped to one knee at the same time. He squeezed the trigger and strafed the jungle behind them. He got up and ran on.
"Where'd you learn to shoot, Doc?" shouted Milk still running.
"Used to be in the UTN Navy, don't you know?"
"No, no I didn't know that, you're one hell of a useful person to know, Doc."
"Why thank you, I try my best."
"Watch that trap," Chase shouted at full speed. The others jumped it.
The leading Laikan did not and he was pulled into the air by the rope that grabbed his ankle.
He shouted something as the other Laikans sped past.
The next Laikan hit a trip line and a large net of boulders strung up between two trees rained down taking out three of them. The others kept coming.
The next Laikan hit a trip rope that brought a sharpened log across the path and speared the Laikan behind him. Trillo called for a halt as their path was blocked.