CHAPTER III.
DISCOMFITURE OF THE PHILISTINES.
On Wednesday afternoon, as soon as dinner was over, Acton summoned hisfollowers to attend the council of war which was to decide whatreprisals should be taken on the Philistines for the destruction of thesnow man. Every one felt the importance of a counter-attack, for unlesssomething of the kind were attempted, as Acton remarked in his openingspeech, "they'll think we're funky of them, and they'll simply come downhere as often as they like, and worry us to death."
"Couldn't we tell Mr. Welsby?" suggested Butler, a timid small boybelonging to the "Dogs' Home."
"Tell Mr. Welsby!" cried half a dozen voices in withering tones;"of course not!"
It was well known by both parties that whenever the real state ofaffairs became known to their respective head-masters, the war wouldcome to an abrupt termination; and the great reason why each sideforbore to make any open complaint against the other was undoubtedlybecause every one secretly enjoyed the excitement of the campaign, andfelt that a peace would make life rather dull and uninteresting.
"The thing that licks us," said Acton, "is what I was speaking aboutlast week: somehow or other, they always seem to know just what we're upto, and it's no use our doing anything, because they're always prepared.Some one's acting the spy. I can't think it's any of you fellows, but Ibelieve it's old Noaks. You see his son's there, and for some reason orother he seems to hate every one here like poison. Now, what are we todo?"
There was a silence, broken at length by Diggory Trevanock.
"I don't know what you think," he began, "but it seems to me it's no usemaking any plans until we find out who tells 'em to the Philistines.I should say that Noaks is the fellow who does it, but we ought tomake certain."
"Yes, but how are we to do it?" asked Acton, laughing; "that's just whatI want to know."
"Well, I've got a bit of a plan," returned the other, "only I shouldlike to tell it you in private."
"All right," answered the dux; "come on outside. Now, then, what isit?"
"Why," said Diggory, "it's this (I didn't want the other chaps to hear,because then it'll prove who's the spy). You say the last time you wentdown to throw some crackers over the wall they were all lying in waitfor you. Well, let you and me go into the boot-room when Noaks is atwork there, and pretend to make a plan as though we were going to do itagain to-morrow night; then two of us might go down and see if they'reprepared. If so, it must have been Noaks who told them, because no oneelse knows about it. I'll go for one, and Jack Vance'll go for another.I'll tell him to keep it dark, and you can let us in and out of thedoor."
"Oh--ah!" said Acton, "that isn't a bad idea; at all events we'll tryit."
The project was put into immediate execution. That same afternoon, justbefore tea, Acton and Diggory discussed the bogus plan in Noaks'shearing, while Jack Vance, having been admitted into their confidenceand sworn to secrecy, willingly agreed to go out with Diggory and formthe reconnoitering party which was to report on the movements of theenemy.
"I knew you'd come," said the latter; "and we'll show them what sort ofstuff the Triple Alliance is made of."
On the following evening, as soon as tea was over, the two friendsslipped off down into the playground, where they were joined a minutelater by Acton, who, unlocking the shed, took down from the peg on whichit hung the key of the door in the outer wall.
"You'll have plenty of time," he said, glancing at his watch, "and withthis moonlight you'll soon be able to see if they're about. I'll keepthe door, and let you in when you come back."
The next moment the two members of the Alliance were trotting downLocker's Lane. It was a bright, frosty night, and the hard ground rangbeneath their feet like stone. They turned off on to the grass, lestthe noise should give the enemy warning of their approach; and whenwithin about a hundred yards of Horace House, pulled up to consider fora moment what their plan of action should be, before proceeding anyfurther.
"I don't see any one," said Jack Vance.
"Perhaps they are hiding," answered Diggory. "Look here! let's get intothis field and run down on the other side of the hedge until we getopposite the gate."
The stronghold of the Philistines was silent as the grave. The twochums crouched behind a thick bush, and peering through its leaflessbranches could see nothing but the closed double doors, and a stretch ofblank wall on either side.
"There's no one about," whispered Vance; "I don't believe old Noaks hastold them."
"Wait a minute," answered Diggory. "I'll see if I can stir any ofthem;" and so saying, he knelt up, and cried in an audible voice,"Now, then, are you all ready?"
Diggory and Jack Vance dropped flat on their stomachs, for the words hadhardly been uttered when the doors were flung open, and at least ten ofthe Philistines rushed out into the road with a yell of defiance.Many of them were bigger than Acton, and what would have been the fateof the two Birchites had they kept to the road instead of acting onDiggory's suggestion of advancing under cover of the hedge, one hardlydares to imagine.
"Hullo!" cried young Noaks, who had headed the sortie. "There's nobodyhere, and yet I'll swear I heard them somewhere."
"So did I," answered another voice; "they must have cut and run."
"There's no place for them to run to," returned Noaks; "they must bebehind that hedge.--Come out of it, you skunks!"
A big stone came crashing through the twigs within a yard of Diggory'shead. The two boys crouched close to the low earth bank and held theirbreath.
"They must be about somewhere," cried Noaks. "I knew they were coming,and I'm sure I heard some one say, 'Are you ready?' They're behind thathedge. We can't get through, it's too thick; but you fellows stophere, and I and Hogson and Bernard'll run down to the gate and cut offtheir retreat."
"What shall we do?" whispered Jack; "this field's so large they'll runus down before we get to the other hedge. Shall we make a bolt andchance it?"
Diggory was just about to reply in the affirmative, when help came froman unexpected quarter.
"What are you boys doing out here at this time?" cried a loud, sternvoice.--"Noaks, what are you about down the road there?--Come in thismoment, every one of you!"
"Saved!" whispered Jack Vance, in an ecstasy of delight as thePhilistines trooped back through the double doors. "That was oldPhillips. I hope he gives Noaks a jolly good 'impot.' That chap is acad," continued the speaker, as they hurried back towards The Birches:"when he can't do anything else, he chucks stones like he did to-night.The wonder is he hasn't killed some one before now. I don't see howit's possible for the Philistines to show up well when they've got achap like him bossing the show."
The bell for evening preparation was ringing as they reached TheBirches, and only a very few hasty replies could be given to Acton'seager inquiries as they rushed together up the garden path. In thelittle interval before supper, however, the subject was resumed in aquiet corner of the passage.
"So it must have been old Noaks who told them," said Acton; "that'sproved without a doubt. I vote we go and have a jolly row with himto-morrow morning."
"No, I shouldn't do that," answered Diggory; "don't let him know thatwe've found him out."
"Well, look here," answered Acton, thumping the wall with his fist andfrowning heavily, "what are we going to do to get even with thePhilistines? We can't go out and fight them in Locker's Lane; we're toosmall, and they know it. Young Noaks would never have dared to act ashe did after they'd knocked our snow man down if Mason had been here.They think now they're going to ride rough-shod over us; but theyaren't, and we must show them we aren't going to be trampled on."
"So we will," cried Jack Vance excitedly, "and that jolly quick!"
"But how?"
There was a moment's pause. "I'm sure I don't know," answered Jacksadly, and so the meeting terminated.
The fact of the insult, which had been put upon them by the destructionof their snow man, remaining unavenged, caused a sen
se of gloom to restupon the Birchites, as though they already felt themselves sufferingbeneath the yoke of the conquering Philistines. Even the bedroom feudswere forgotten: night after night the "House of Lords" left the"Dogs' Home" in undisturbed tranquillity, and the occupants of the"Main-top" retired to rest without even putting a washstand againsttheir door. One thought occupied the minds of all, and even Mugford,when asked on one occasion by Mr. Blake who were the conspirators in theGunpowder Plot, answered absent-mindedly, "The Philistines!"
"Look here, you two," said Diggory one evening, as he scrambled intobed, "we three must think of some way of paying those fellows out forknocking down our snow man. It would be splendid if we could say thatthe Triple Alliance had done it, and without telling any onebeforehand."
"So we will," answered Jack Vance; "that is if you'll think of the plan.I'm not able to make one, and I'm jolly sure Mugford can't."
The speaker turned over and went to sleep; but after what seemed halfthe night had passed, he was suddenly aroused by several violent tugs athis bed-clothes. Thinking it nothing less than a midnight raid, Jacksprang up and grasped his pillow.
"No, no, it's not that," said Diggory, "but I wanted to help you;I've got an idea."
"W--what about?" asked the other, in a sleepy voice.
"Why, how we can pay out the Philistines!"
"Oh, bother the Philistines!" grumbled Jack, and promptly returned tothe land of dreams.
"I wonder where those fellows Vance and Trevanock are?" said Acton thefollowing afternoon, as the boys were picking up for a game atprisoner's base. "And there's that dummy of a Mugford--where's hesneaked off to? he never will play games if he can possibly help it."
They set to work, and at the end of about twenty minutes were engaged ina most exciting rally. Acton had started out to rescue one of theprisoners, while Shaw had rushed forth to capture Acton. Morris leftthe base with similar designs on Shaw, and every one, with the exceptionof the den-keepers, seemed suddenly seized with an irresistible desireto do something. The playground was full of boys rushing and dodgingall over the place, when suddenly everybody stood still and listened.Some one was pounding with his clinched fist at the door opening intoLocker's Lane, and at the same time Jack Vance was heard shouting,"Let us in quick, or the Philistines'll have us!"
Acton ran to fetch the key, and the next moment the three members of theTriple Alliance dashed through the open door, which was hastily securedbehind them, while a shout of baffled rage some little distance down theroad showed that they had only narrowly escaped falling into the handsof the enemy. The pursuit, however, was evidently abandoned, andMorris, climbing on the roof of the shed, saw young Noaks and Hogsonslowly retreating round the corner of the road.
The three friends certainly presented a striking appearance. Mugford'snose was bleeding, Jack Vance's collar seemed to have been nearly tornoff his neck, while Diggory's cap was in his hand, and his hair in astate of wild disorder. Their faces, flushed with running, were radiantwith a look of triumph, while all three, the unfortunate Mugfordincluded, leaned up against the wall, and laughed until the tears randown their cheeks.
"What have you fellows been up to?" cried Acton; "why don't you tellus?"
"Oh my!" gasped Diggory, "we've taken a fine rise out of thePhilistines; they can't say we're not quits with them now!" and he wentoff into a fresh fit of merriment.
Shaw and Morris seized hold of Jack Vance, and at length succeeded inshaking him into a sufficient state of sobriety to be able to answertheir questions.
"Oh dear," he said faintly, "I never laughed so much in my life before!Diggory ought to tell you, because he planned it all. We went veryquietly down to Horace House, and found the double doors were shut.You know just what they're like, how the wall curves in a bit, andthere's a scraper close to the gate-post, on either side, about a footfrom the ground. We'd got an old play-box cord with us, and we tied itto each of the scrapers. The doors have a sort of iron ring for ahandle, and through this we stuck a broken cricket-stump, and Mug and Iheld the two ends so that you couldn't possibly lift the latch on theinside. Then--but you go on, Diggy."
"Well, then," continued the other, "I scrambled on to these two chaps'shoulders, and looked over the top of the door. We could hear some ofthe Philistines knocking about on the gravel, and I saw there wereabout half a dozen of them playing footer with a tennis-ball. I shoutedout, 'Hullo! Good-afternoon!' They all stood still in a moment, andyoung Noaks cried, 'Why, it's a Birchite!--What do you want here, youyoung dog?' I couldn't think of anything else to say, so I said,'I want to know if this is the bear-pit or the monkey-house.' My eye,you should have seen them! I dropped down in a trice, and they allrushed to the doors; but they couldn't lift the latch, because Mug andJack were holding fast to the stump. We waited a moment, and then letgo and ran for it. You may judge what happened next. It's a regularsea of mud outside those gates. They all came rushing out together, andI saw Noaks and Hogson go head first over the rope, and two or threeothers fall flat on the top of them. It was a sight, I can tell you!"
"Yes, but that wasn't all," interrupted Jack Vance. "Bernard, one oftheir big chaps, hopped over the rest and came after us. We ran for allwe were worth, but he collared me. Mugford went for him, and hungon to his coat like a young bull-terrier, and got a smack on the nose;and just then Diggory turned, and came prancing back, and ran his headinto the beggar's stomach, and that doubled him up, and so we all gotaway. But," concluded the speaker, turning towards his wounded comrade,"I never thought old Mug had so much grit in him before; he stuck to itlike a Briton!"
A demonstration of the most genuine enthusiasm followed this warlikespeech. Acton folded Diggory to his breast in a loving embrace, Shawand Morris stuffed the door-key down Mugford's back, while the remainderof the company executed a war-dance round Jack Vance.
"My eye," cried the dux, "won't the Philistines be wild!Fancy upsetting them in the mud, and knocking Bernard's wind out!They won't be in a hurry to meddle with us again. Well done, Diggy!"
"It wasn't I alone," said the author of the enterprise; "we did itbetween us--the Triple Alliance."
"Then three cheers for the Triple Alliance!" cried Acton.
The company shouted themselves hoarse, for every one felt that thehonour of The Birches had been retrieved, and that the day was still fardistant when they would be crushed beneath the iron heel of young Noaks,or be exposed as an unresisting prey to the ravages of the wild hordesof Horace House.