Read The Troll Garden and Selected Stories Page 19

himself all the time. I remember he was a sixteenth-century duke

  in Florence once for weeks together."

  "Oh, that's Adriance," chuckled Everett. "He is himself

  barely long enough to write checks and be measured for his

  clothes. I didn't hear from him while he was an Arab; I missed

  that."

  "He was writing an Algerian suite for the piano then; it

  must be in the publisher's hands by this time. I have been too

  ill to answer his letter, and have lost touch with him."

  Everett drew a letter from his pocket. "This came about a

  month ago. It's chiefly about his new opera, which is to be

  brought out in London next winter. Read it at your leisure."

  "I think I shall keep it as a hostage, so that I may be sure

  you will come again. Now I want you to play for me. Whatever

  you like; but if there is anything new in the world, in mercy let

  me hear it. For nine months I have heard nothing but 'The

  Baggage Coach Ahead' and 'She Is My Baby's Mother.'"

  He sat down at the piano, and Katharine sat near him,

  absorbed in his remarkable physical likeness to his brother and

  trying to discover in just what it consisted. She told herself

  that it was very much as though a sculptor's finished work had

  been rudely copied in wood. He was of a larger build than

  Adriance, and his shoulders were broad and heavy, while those of

  his brother were slender and rather girlish. His face was of the

  same oval mold, but it was gray and darkened about the mouth by

  continual shaving. His eyes were of the same inconstant April

  color, but they were reflective and rather dull; while Adriance's

  were always points of highlight, and always meaning another thing

  than the thing they meant yesterday. But it was hard to see why

  this earnest man should so continually suggest that lyric,

  youthful face that was as gay as his was grave. For Adriance,

  though he was ten years the elder, and though his hair was

  streaked with silver, had the face of a boy of twenty, so mobile

  that it told his thoughts before he could put them into words.

  A contralto, famous for the extravagance of her vocal

  methods and of her affections, had once said to him that the

  shepherd boys who sang in the Vale of Tempe must certainly have

  looked like young Hilgarde; and the comparison had been

  appropriated by a hundred shyer women who preferred to quote.

  As Everett sat smoking on the veranda of the InterOcean

  House that night, he was a victim to random recollections. His

  infatuation for Katharine Gaylord, visionary as it was, had been

  the most serious of his boyish love affairs, and had long

  disturbed his bachelor dreams. He was painfully timid in

  everything relating to the emotions, and his hurt had withdrawn

  him from the society of women. The fact that it was all so done

  and dead and far behind him, and that the woman had lived her

  life out since then, gave him an oppressive sense of age and

  loss. He bethought himself of something he had read about

  "sitting by the hearth and remembering the faces of women without

  desire," and felt himself an octogenarian.

  He remembered how bitter and morose he had grown during his

  stay at his brother's studio when Katharine Gaylord was working

  there, and how he had wounded Adriance on the night of his last

  concert in New York. He had sat there in the box while his

  brother and Katharine were called back again and again after the

  last number, watching the roses go up over the footlights until

  they were stacked half as high as the piano, brooding, in his

  sullen boy's heart, upon the pride those two felt in each other's

  work--spurring each other to their best and beautifully

  contending in song. The footlights had seemed a hard, glittering

  line drawn sharply between their life and his; a circle of flame

  set about those splendid children of genius. He walked back to

  his hotel alone and sat in his window staring out on Madison

  Square until long after midnight, resolving to beat no more at

  doors that he could never enter and realizing more keenly than

  ever before how far this glorious world of beautiful creations

  lay from the paths of men like himself. He told himself that he

  had in common with this woman only the baser uses of life.

  Everett's week in Cheyenne stretched to three, and he saw no

  prospect of release except through the thing he dreaded. The

  bright, windy days of the Wyoming autumn passed swiftly. Letters

  and telegrams came urging him to hasten his trip to the coast,

  but he resolutely postponed his business engagements. The

  mornings he spent on one of Charley Gaylord's ponies, or fishing

  in the mountains, and in the evenings he sat in his room writing

  letters or reading. In the afternoon he was usually at his post

  of duty. Destiny, he reflected, seems to have very positive

  notions about the sort of parts we are fitted to play. The scene

  changes and the compensation varies, but in the end we usually

  find that we have played the same class of business from first to

  last. Everett had been a stopgap all his life. He remembered

  going through a looking glass labyrinth when he was a boy and

  trying gallery after gallery, only at every turn to bump his nose

  against his own face--which, indeed, was not his own, but his

  brother's. No matter what his mission, east or west, by land or

  sea, he was sure to find himself employed in his brother's

  business, one of the tributary lives which helped to swell the

  shining current of Adriance Hilgarde's. It was not the first

  time that his duty had been to comfort, as best he could, one of

  the broken things his brother's imperious speed had cast aside

  and forgotten. He made no attempt to analyze the situation or to

  state it in exact terms; but he felt Katharine Gaylord's need for

  him, and he accepted it as a commission from his brother to help

  this woman to die. Day by day he felt her demands on him grow

  more imperious, her need for him grow more acute and positive;

  and day by day he felt that in his peculiar relation to her his

  own individuality played a smaller and smaller part. His power

  to minister to her comfort, he saw, lay solely in his link with

  his brother's life. He understood all that his physical

  resemblance meant to her. He knew that she sat by him always

  watching for some common trick of gesture, some familiar play of

  expression, some illusion of light and shadow, in which he should

  seem wholly Adriance. He knew that she lived upon this and that

  her disease fed upon it; that it sent shudders of remembrance

  through her and that in the exhaustion which followed this

  turmoil of her dying senses, she slept deep and sweet and

  dreamed of youth and art and days in a certain old Florentine

  garden, and not of bitterness and death.

  The question which most perplexed him was, "How much shall I

  know? How much does she wish me to know?" A few days after his

  first meeting with Katharine Gaylord, he had cabled his brother

  to write
her. He had merely said that she was mortally ill; he

  could depend on Adriance to say the right thing--that was a part

  of his gift. Adriance always said not only the right thing, but

  the opportune, graceful, exquisite thing. His phrases took the

  color of the moment and the then-present condition, so that they

  never savored of perfunctory compliment or frequent usage. He

  always caught the lyric essence of the moment, the poetic

  suggestion of every situation. Moreover, he usually did the

  right thing, the opportune, graceful, exquisite thing--except,

  when he did very cruel things--bent upon making people happy

  when their existence touched his, just as he insisted that his

  material environment should be beautiful; lavishing upon those

  near him all the warmth and radiance of his rich nature, all the

  homage of the poet and troubadour, and, when they were no longer

  near, forgetting--for that also was a part of Adriance's gift.

  Three weeks after Everett had sent his cable, when he made

  his daily call at the gaily painted ranch house, he found

  Katharine laughing like a schoolgirl. "Have you ever thought,"

  she said, as he entered the music room, "how much these seances

  of ours are like Heine's 'Florentine Nights,' except that I don't

  give you an opportunity to monopolize the conversation as Heine

  did?" She held his hand longer than usual, as she greeted him,

  and looked searchingly up into his face. "You are the kindest

  man living; the kindest," she added, softly.

  Everett's gray face colored faintly as he drew his hand

  away, for he felt that this time she was looking at him and not

  at a whimsical caricature of his brother. "Why, what have I done

  now?" he asked, lamely. "I can't remember having sent you any

  stale candy or champagne since yesterday."

  She drew a letter with a foreign postmark from between

  the leaves of a book and held it out, smiling. "You got him to

  write it. Don't say you didn't, for it came direct, you see, and

  the last address I gave him was a place in Florida. This deed

  shall be remembered of you when I am with the just in Paradise.

  But one thing you did not ask him to do, for you didn't know about

  it. He has sent me his latest work, the new sonata, the most

  ambitious thing he has ever done, and you are to play it for me

  directly, though it looks horribly intricate. But first for the

  letter; I think you would better read it aloud to me."

  Everett sat down in a low chair facing the window seat in

  which she reclined with a barricade of pillows behind her. He

  opened the letter, his lashes half-veiling his kind eyes, and saw

  to his satisfaction that it was a long one--wonderfully tactful

  and tender, even for Adriance, who was tender with his valet and

  his stable boy, with his old gondolier and the beggar-women who

  prayed to the saints for him.

  The letter was from Granada, written in the Alhambra, as he

  sat by the fountain of the Patio di Lindaraxa. The air was

  heavy, with the warm fragrance of the South and full of the sound

  of splashing, running water, as it had been in a certain old

  garden in Florence, long ago. The sky was one great turquoise,

  heated until it glowed. The wonderful Moorish arches threw

  graceful blue shadows all about him. He had sketched an outline

  of them on the margin of his notepaper. The subtleties of Arabic

  decoration had cast an unholy spell over him, and the brutal

  exaggerations of Gothic art were a bad dream, easily forgotten.

  The Alhambra itself had, from the first, seemed perfectly

  familiar to him, and he knew that he must have trod that court,

  sleek and brown and obsequious, centuries before Ferdinand rode

  into Andalusia. The letter was full of confidences about his

  work, and delicate allusions to their old happy days of study and

  comradeship, and of her own work, still so warmly remembered and

  appreciatively discussed everywhere he went.

  As Everett folded the letter he felt that Adriance had

  divined the thing needed and had risen to it in his own wonderful

  way. The letter was consistently egotistical and seemed to him

  even a trifle patronizing, yet it was just what she had

  wanted. A strong realization of his brother's charm and intensity

  and power came over him; he felt the breath of that whirlwind of

  flame in which Adriance passed, consuming all in his path, and

  himself even more resolutely than he consumed others. Then he

  looked down at this white, burnt-out brand that lay before him.

  "Like him, isn't it?" she said, quietly.

  "I think I can scarcely answer his letter, but when you see

  him next you can do that for me. I want you to tell him many

  things for me, yet they can all be summed up in this: I want him

  to grow wholly into his best and greatest self, even at the cost

  of the dear boyishness that is half his charm to you and me. Do

  you understand me?"

  "I know perfectly well what you mean," answered Everett,

  thoughtfully. "I have often felt so about him myself. And yet

  it's difficult to prescribe for those fellows; so little makes,

  so little mars."

  Katharine raised herself upon her elbow, and her face

  flushed with feverish earnestness. "Ah, but it is the waste of

  himself that I mean; his lashing himself out on stupid and

  uncomprehending people until they take him at their own estimate.

  He can kindle marble, strike fire from putty, but is it worth

  what it costs him?"

  "Come, come," expostulated Everett, alarmed at her excitement.

  "Where is the new sonata? Let him speak for himself."

  He sat down at the piano and began playing the first

  movement, which was indeed the voice of Adriance, his proper

  speech. The sonata was the most ambitious work he had done up to

  that time and marked the transition from his purely lyric vein to

  a deeper and nobler style. Everett played intelligently and with

  that sympathetic comprehension which seems peculiar to a certain

  lovable class of men who never accomplish anything in particular.

  When he had finished he turned to Katharine.

  "How he has grown!" she cried. "What the three last years have

  done for him! He used to write only the tragedies of passion; but

  this is the tragedy of the soul, the shadow coexistent with the

  soul. This is the tragedy of effort and failure, the thing Keats

  called hell. This is my tragedy, as I lie here spent by the

  racecourse, listening to the feet of the runners as they pass me.

  Ah, God! The swift feet of the runners!"

  She turned her face away and covered it with her straining

  hands. Everett crossed over to her quickly and knelt beside her.

  In all the days he had known her she had never before, beyond an

  occasional ironical jest, given voice to the bitterness of her

  own defeat. Her courage had become a point of pride with him,

  and to see it going sickened him.

  "Don't do it," he gasped. "I can't stand it, I really

  can't, I feel it too much. We mustn't speak of that; it's too


  tragic and too vast."

  When she turned her face back to him there was a ghost of the old,

  brave, cynical smile on it, more bitter than the tears she could

  not shed. "No, I won't be so ungenerous; I will save that for the

  watches of the night when I have no better company. Now you may

  mix me another drink of some sort. Formerly, when it was not

  if I should ever sing Brunnhilde, but quite simply when I

  should sing Brunnhilde, I was always starving myself and

  thinking what I might drink and what I might not. But broken music

  boxes may drink whatsoever they list, and no one cares whether they

  lose their figure. Run over that theme at the beginning again.

  That, at least, is not new. It was running in his head when we

  were in Venice years ago, and he used to drum it on his glass at

  the dinner table. He had just begun to work it out when the late

  autumn came on, and the paleness of the Adriatic oppressed him,

  and he decided to go to Florence for the winter, and lost touch

  with the theme during his illness. Do you remember those

  frightful days? All the people who have loved him are not strong

  enough to save him from himself! When I got word from Florence

  that he had been ill I was in Nice filling a concert engagement.

  His wife was hurrying to him from Paris, but I reached him first.

  I arrived at dusk, in a terrific storm. They had taken an old

  palace there for the winter, and I found him in the library--a

  long, dark room full of old Latin books and heavy furniture and

  bronzes. He was sitting by a wood fire at one end of the room,

  looking, oh, so worn and pale!--as he always does when he is ill,

  you know. Ah, it is so good that you do know! Even

  his red smoking jacket lent no color to his face. His first words

  were not to tell me how ill he had been, but that that morning he

  had been well enough to put the last strokes to the score of his

  Souvenirs d'Automne. He was as I most like to remember him:

  so calm and happy and tired; not gay, as he usually is, but just

  contented and tired with that heavenly tiredness that comes after

  a good work done at last. Outside, the rain poured down in

  torrents, and the wind moaned for the pain of all the world and

  sobbed in the branches of the shivering olives and about the walls

  of that desolated old palace. How that night comes back to me!

  There were no lights in the room, only the wood fire which glowed

  upon the hard features of the bronze Dante, like the reflection of

  purgatorial flames, and threw long black shadows about us; beyond

  us it scarcely penetrated the gloom at all, Adriance sat staring at

  the fire with the weariness of all his life in his eves, and of all

  the other lives that must aspire and suffer to make up one such

  life as his. Somehow the wind with all its world-pain had got into

  the room, and the cold rain was in our eyes, and the wave came up

  in both of us at once--that awful, vague, universal pain, that

  cold fear of life and death and God and hope--and we were like

  two clinging together on a spar in midocean after the shipwreck

  of everything. Then we heard the front door open with a great

  gust of wind that shook even the walls, and the servants came

  running with lights, announcing that Madam had returned, 'and in

  the book we read no more that night.'
"

  She gave the old line with a certain bitter humor, and with

  the hard, bright smile in which of old she had wrapped her

  weakness as in a glittering garment. That ironical smile, worn

  like a mask through so many years, had gradually changed even the

  lines of her face completely, and when she looked in the mirror

  she saw not herself, but the scathing critic, the amused observer

  and satirist of herself. Everett dropped his head upon his hand

  and sat looking at the rug. "How much you have cared!" he said.

  "Ah, yes, I cared," she replied, closing her eyes with a

  long-drawn sigh of relief; and lying perfectly still, she went

  on: "You can't imagine what a comfort it is to have you know how I

  cared, what a relief it is to be able to tell it to someone. I